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I don't deserve my boyfriend

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (7 August 2014) 2 Answers - (Newest, 8 August 2014)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

OK..Here's the deal

I am really not sure I deserve my boyfriend of 4.5 years. I love him so much, but a while back we went through a rough patch, and I never cheated on him, but I probably did behave a little promiscuously when Ive been out, and bad mouthed him to my friends.

I took lots of anger and frustration out on him, that he really didn't deserve. When one of my parents died, he was my rock and I feel instead of showing him appreciation, I have thrown it back in his face taking anger out on him.

Only lately have I realised that this guy moved miles and miles away from his hometown, friends and family to come and live with me, he loves me and works so hard to support me. He has put up with a lot from me. I feel really really guilty for my behaviour, and I know I don't deserve him.

I felt so guilty that I admitted to him that I may have flirted with other guys, danced like an idiot drunkenly, although this was with girlfriends whom were also in relationships, and he didn't seem too annoyed. He feels I was just letting off steam because he thinks I got resentful of being cooped up in the house all the time, and that I may have went a little mad partying because I hadn't partied in so long.

Him being so kind and understanding has made me feel even worse, knowing how good he is to me and I wish I knew how to show him I am sorry and really grateful that he has stuck around all this time.

View related questions: drunk, flirt

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A female reader, Dionee' South Africa +, writes (8 August 2014):

Dionee' agony auntAll of that doesn't mean that you don't deserve him. You have a conscience and didn't cheat on him and when you spoke to him about your behavior (which he answered to very chilled) he showed that he loves and cares about you. It didn't bother him and you haven't gotten rid of him yet which tells you what? It should tell you that he is in it for the long run. He moved away from his loved one's to be with you so you shouldn't feel like you're undeserving of his love because no matter what anyone says, by all that he has done time and time again to prove himself, he has shown you that although nobody is perfect, you two are perfect for each other. Enjoy loving and being loved. You're very blessed to have someone there for you. Don't second guess anything. Just live through theses moments because they're ones you will remember always.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2014):

You sound reformed and now appreciate what you have.

My dear, you do deserve him. He is good to you, because he really cares for you. If I were he, and read the sweet things you just wrote, it would swell my heart. If this is how you feel now, then now you deserve him. You didn't before. Now you realize what you have. You were just a young girl acting-up and showing-off. Now you're growing up, and showing your maturity as a woman. Stay on this path, and you won't go wrong.

Yep, I'd say you're both pretty lucky!

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