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... Send *c.ryan a private message | | | *c.ryan's profile:Hello I am Ryan :)
I am very caring, understanding individual who always has an open ear to anyone that needs it. I've always been interested in helping people with their social/life problems, and like to think I can provide good caring advice with the ability to truly understand the situation and offer a viable answer to the problem. I love to see I've made a difference to people, and enjoy the feelings I gain from helping others - going off my life experience, and general personal feelings on the situation.
I live all the way down in sunny Cornwall in the UK, where I spend most of my time with my beautiful partner. I love anything to do with IT (computers etc), but I also take interest in health and social care - just being able to listen and offer friendly, unique advice.
Don't hesitate to drop me a personal message if you require more immediate advice, I'm more than happy to respond to both public and private DearCupid problems.
Ryan |
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Why won't she even let me take her shirt off?
Q. K, so I'm just wondring why the girl I'm dating won't tongue kiss, and won't go past kissing at all. We've gone on 5 dates now, and talk all the time, but she won't tongue kiss, her version of making out is just repetitive pecks, which I'm cool w...
A. 28 December 2007: It is very important you give your partner time, 5 dates is not alot and you can't expect her to go all the way to sex with you at such an early stage. Every girl is different and you should appreciate her feelings , she may feel uncomfortable wi... (read in full...)
I've found pornographic pics of my 16 yr old sister on the internet! What shall I do?
Q. ive found pictures of my sister on the internet. She is with different lads having sex, anal, bondage etc. she is only 16!! should i tell her or our parents or just ignore it?...
A. 28 December 2007: This is extremely important you tell the person responsible for your sister - and then organise to go to the appropiate authorities to get the images/material removed. This is a serious violation of pornographic law, and should be handled immediat... (read in full...)
Of all the girls in the class, he only flirts with me and tells me he loves me. What does it mean?
Q. I'm a 13 year old girl. This boy in my class flirts with me alot. The thing is he only does it to me. He strokes my hair, calls me baby and stuff. He always says '' I love you, Caylen. '' Soemtimes he hugs me when he says it. He only tells me he ...
A. 28 December 2007: Hello Caylen,
It definately sounds like he is very interested in you! I would take it for what it is, and talk to him about it - it also depends on whether you have the same feelings for him (which perhaps you do if you feel happy when he is ar... (read in full...)
My troubled girlfriend is devoid of affection!
Q. My new Girlfriend has a lot of history, Drugs,Drink+ abuse by partners and other issues that at the moment i'd like to keep private. I have accepted all of this but I find she is devoid of affection, rejects compliments and hates her appearance. I ...
A. 27 December 2007: She may be perfectly happily flirting when her clothes are on, but her self-confidence (like with a lot of women) is when they remove their clothes. Do talk to her about your feelings, and she'll discuss them with you. Ryan... (read in full...)
Has this relationship reached the end of the road?
Q. My partner and I split up in February. We didn't live together or anything but we had been seeing each other for just over 4 years when we split. Things hadn't been good for around 6 months before the split and I felt we were at different points in ...
A. 27 December 2007: Then follow your heart, and do whats best to make yourself happy and open new opportunities for you in life. It sounds like you are truly not interested in him anymore, and its time to move on. Ryan... (read in full...)
How do I tell my boyfriend that I slept in the same bed as another guy, even though it was platonic?
Q. I went out with my friends a few days before xmas, and it got quite late, so i stayed at a friends house. There were only two double beds, and four of us. The couple got one, and i was left to the other one, having to share with my male friend who i ...
A. 27 December 2007: I don't think not telling him is a good decision.
Purely because one day he could find out through your friends or his, and will wonder why you didn't tell him - will instantly jump to the conclusion something had happened and you didn't want to ... (read in full...)
Should I go for it . . . .or end it?
Q. I like a guy a lot..we have been good friends for about 2 years now...I always felt an atachment for him from when I first met him...He broke up with his gf about 8 months now(not because of me)..I provided as much support as I could when he was ...
A. 27 December 2007: Friendship is a very powerful thing, for being close friends for 2 years - he would of developed feelings to protect you, and therefore probably wouldn't have any intention of hurting you.
There issue here is trust, you need to be able to trust... (read in full...)
How do I tell my boyfriend that I slept in the same bed as another guy, even though it was platonic?
Q. I went out with my friends a few days before xmas, and it got quite late, so i stayed at a friends house. There were only two double beds, and four of us. The couple got one, and i was left to the other one, having to share with my male friend who i ...
A. 27 December 2007: Sit down and discuss it, explain to him that you had no where else to sleep.
Enforce the fact that you are the girl in his life, and you are his forever and you'd never want to do anything to hurt him - just be honest with him, look straight... (read in full...)
Has this relationship reached the end of the road?
Q. My partner and I split up in February. We didn't live together or anything but we had been seeing each other for just over 4 years when we split. Things hadn't been good for around 6 months before the split and I felt we were at different points in ...
A. 27 December 2007: I think in situations like this is, you need to follow your heart - do what your feelings are telling you.
From what you've described, you obviously don't have much there in your heart for him anymore and prolonging the relationship for an extra... (read in full...)
Should I give him time, or do I make the first move?
Q. I like a shy guy right now and we've both told eachother we like eachother, but nothing has happened. I'm afraid he won't make a move .. should I make the first move and ask him out or should I give him time? ...
A. 27 December 2007: Depends on what feelings you think he has for you, if you are close friends - regularly chat to each other and you think there maybe some desire to have you then perhaps you should approach him.
Problem with shy guys is that they tend to have low... (read in full...)
Am I doing the right thing? What do I say next time we meet?
Q. A long-time family friend (we are both divorced; he has been attracted to me for some time) suddenly contacted me, we started to text message/phone each other, and went out on a few casual dates. This changed our friendship but over a period o...
A. 27 December 2007: Hello,
You obviously want to continue your friendship with him, and you shouldn't be ignoring these feelings. The best thing you can do is simply pickup the phone and ring or text him, ask how hes been - say its been a while, fancy going out one ... (read in full...)
Am I overweight?
Q. this is a huge question, i have a very low selfesteam and i need to know is 116 lbs to much for me i'm 5'0 and 14...i always feel fat and disgusting i use to obsese over my weight (NOT anerexic/bulimic)but now that i dont as much i have gained ...
A. 27 December 2007: Your BMI (Body Mass Index) calculates to 22.26 which is average - and not classed as overweight. At 14 you still have a lot of growing up fat on your body, the more the years go by you will notice how you will tone a lot quicker and will loose this ... (read in full...)
I only like his looks, because I don't know his personality well. I'm already in a relationship though and feel confused.
Q. my boyfriend's friend loves me, and i think i love him more, but i only like his looks casue i don't know alot about his personality yet. what should i do?? stay with my boyfriend or go with his friend?...
A. 27 December 2007: Who says you can't have two friends that are boys? You are allowed to be friends with guys, you don't have to jump into an immediate relationship.
I would stay honest with your partner for now, and perhaps get to know your partners friend -... (read in full...)
Do you think one day he could come back?
Q. I fell in love with my best friend. In the beginning it was beautiful, but over the years our friendship and relationship deteriorated until the end where there was just too much bad to continue (loss of independence, balance, respect, support, ...
A. 27 December 2007: If you believe it can, the chances are quite high - but he may feel completely different or he may feel the same.
Some times peoples relationships are stronger and closer the second time around - as you've learnt from your mistakes. You obviousl... (read in full...)
I'm leaving my husband because he had a 2 yr affair with my sister, a long time ago. People don't know the true reason and incriminate me for the break up. Should I forgive him instead?
Q. I've been married for 18 years, no kids. Ten years ago, I found out that my sister and husband had had sex, once. I forgave them.... and none of us talked about it again. It was very painful as I had no one to talk to about it at the time... ...
A. 27 December 2007: Only answer to your problem is; follow your heart, if you feel you can no longer love him how you originally did - then it probably isn't worth fighting to save the marriage.
I do think it is important that your family are aware of his activiti... (read in full...)
My troubled girlfriend is devoid of affection!
Q. My new Girlfriend has a lot of history, Drugs,Drink+ abuse by partners and other issues that at the moment i'd like to keep private. I have accepted all of this but I find she is devoid of affection, rejects compliments and hates her appearance. I ...
A. 27 December 2007: Such problems are very hard to over come, a lot of women are very sensitive about their appearances (even with a life with no abuse) but it even more so if they have had a past of abusive relationships. Low self-esteem/confidence is a horrible th... (read in full...)
Should I fight or give up?
Q. Been in and out of this relationship for 19 years. He was my first love as well as I was his. We have a 17 year old together. 2 years ago he finally proposed and we have been scheduled to be married Feb 2008. I have been there with him through drug ...
A. 27 December 2007: If you truely love him, and he truely loves you - then for what reason you should break up over the decision of not wanting the sexual part of a relationship?
You have to take into consideration the impact it would have both your families... (read in full...)
I'm middle aged, met the girl of my dreams in Spain, she broke up as I was moving too fast. Will the present I sent her make her reanalyse the situation?
Q. im a middle aged man,in june i went to spain and met the girl of my dreams,i traveled to spain 4 times to see her she came to london,i though everything was great,unfortunately i got carried away and went to fast,resulting in getting dumped for ...
A. 27 December 2007: Hello, Well at least you've accepted your actions, and tried to apologise to her and presented her with a gift. I think you really need to do a very large apology, and indeed the gift you sent her could of made her think more about her past r... (read in full...)
Is it true that if you can't love yourself you can't love someone else?
Q. Is it true that if u can't love yourself then you cant love someone else? i thought i disagreed but now i cant get it out of my head....
A. 27 December 2007: Course not! I think, people with low self-esteem/confidence (such as your self) you need to let having a partner grow on you - and once you feel secure within that relationship I think you'll find 'loving' your partner a lot easier. I do... (read in full...)
What would be the most unpainful position for my virgin girlfriend during sex? Other tips to reduce the hurt?
Q. what would be the most unpainful position, for my girlfriend during sex? if the time comes i really dont want to hert her, what is the best way to make it as painless as possible for her? i would do enything, to keep from hurting her if i...
A. 27 December 2007: It'll vary between girl to girl, some girls will get a huge amount of pain from their first encounter of sexual intercourse and some will barely feel anything.
There is no right/wrong position to make it less painful; you should start with mis... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has been logging on to chatlines giving them his phonenumber to share sexual text and pic messages, what shall I do?
Q. my boyfriend and i have been together for almost a year,the last three months we have been having a lot of problems. he has been logging on to chatlines giving these females his phone number and then they share sexual text and pic messages back and ...
A. 27 December 2007: I think, some men (well a lot of men) seem to have a desire for another sexual rush - not necessarily full blown cheating, but something different. Don't take his actions to heart, as I expect you are a wonderful woman with a lot of qualities - y... (read in full...)
I have a sore bump on my labia, what can it be and how to get rid of it??
Q. well i felt sore down low and i had like a bump on my vagina like on the lip it hurts when you touch it can this be serious?? my mum says it mite just be a spot with some puss inside but i want to no from u guys what shud i do to get rid of it?...
A. 27 December 2007: At your age you can go see your doctor without your parents being with you - and your privacy will be respected, your doctor can't tell anyone else (not even your parents) unless its potentially life threatening - which it isn't.
Ring up your loc... (read in full...)
His ex came back on scene and he dumped me and now I feel dirty for having given him a blowjob, what shall I do?
Q. Hi im 14 years old and have been going out with a guy for about 4 months. He used to really like me and i didnt like him that much but grew to love him. we had been going out secretly at school so no one knew about it because of his race. i know it ...
A. 27 December 2007: Hello,
You shouldn't feel dirty, as engaging in sexual activities with your partner is completely normal (perhaps not at 13-15 - but still, whenever you feel ready) - although he has left you, you must consider why; for another girl.
In my o... (read in full...)
My gf loves handjob me and she likes me touching her, but she never shows me anything, why?
Q. well me and my gf been going out for about 5 month and she always love going down on me and handjob me but she like me touching her but she never show me nothink im not to worried about it just wondering why this is....
A. 27 December 2007: Perhaps she is very insecure about her body, she could have something on her body (a scar, birthmark etc) which she is embaressed to show you.
I wouldn't think this would be anything to do with you, other than the fact she is scared of what you... (read in full...)
I've told my bf I'm not ready to have sex yet, but he keeps texting me sex related texts. When I confront him he says he is only joking, what do you think?
Q. im 14 and i have a boyfriend who is turning 15 in two months yesterday i was text messaging with him and me asked if i had ever had sex, i said no. He asked me if i would like to have sex with him, i was shoked and alarmed, i picked up my phone an...
A. 27 December 2007: Unfortunately it does sound like he is very keen on going that step further with you. It is good though that you have expressed your feelings to him, and told him that you are not ready to have sex yet - this might not perhaps be enough.
What ... (read in full...)
I'm a virgin and my boyfriend and I feel ready to have sex. Just a few questions.....
Q. My boyfriend and I feel ready to have sex. Just a few questions..... Approximately how long will it hurt after we've had sex? (I'm a virgin) He's had sex before, and I don't know what position would be most comfortable. Should we stick wit...
A. 27 December 2007: Hello,
How much it'll hurt really depends on you, as it varies between person to person. It also depends if your hymen has alrady broken or not, if you do gymnastics or horseride there is a chance it has already broken and you the pain could be... (read in full...)
I'm ready to give my bf a handjob but I'm scared I don't know how, please help!
Q. ive been with my boyfriend for 3 weeks and i am ready to do stuff. thing is i have never givern a handjob or blowjob - even tho he thinks i have! my friends say its fine, but readin some of the questions and answers on here have really made me ...
A. 27 December 2007: Hello,
First up; calm down - its all a learning process, and we all went through it at some stage!
Hand jobs are probably the easiest things to do in any sexually active relationship, I think kissing is more advanced than a handjob. They ar... (read in full...)
I have a sore bump on my labia, what can it be and how to get rid of it??
Q. well i felt sore down low and i had like a bump on my vagina like on the lip it hurts when you touch it can this be serious?? my mum says it mite just be a spot with some puss inside but i want to no from u guys what shud i do to get rid of it?...
A. 27 December 2007: Are you sexually active and have you had unprotected sex? If not, chances are its just a spot - an irritation from a detergant, soap, showergel or shampoo. Wash it regularly, in just warm water, and apply Sudu Creme or Germaline in small quantit... (read in full...)
How can I give my boyfriend really good head?
Q. How can I give my boyfriend really good head? I've only done it once with another guy, and need ways to figure out how to make him feel good even though I can't deep throat. Thanks....
A. 27 December 2007: Hello,
Key to this communication, although it has hard when you have it within your mouth - but be sexy about it, tease him and ask him what he likes, what speed, how rough, how deep etc - ask him questions and get his opinion.
That is the o... (read in full...)
My ex sended me a text saying he loves me but when asking him about it he told me to forget it, what is going on?
Q. my ex boyfriend sent me a message tellin me he loves me with all his heart and i love him so so much too its just when i asked him about it he told me to forget it. is it because he is afraid i will say no or just because he thought it was a mistake ...
A. 27 December 2007: Hello,
The thing with texting is peoples messages can be misinterpretted too easily! You could of asked a perfectly harmless question, and he could of taken it as an agressive comment towards him.
Simplest thing to do, is simply text him ... (read in full...)
I found out my bf has another gf since 2 years and now I'm all confused, what shall I do?
Q. i really dont know what to do.. i suppose you could call me a total bitch an slut for what i'm doing, and i am actually starting to feel like one...but im worried. I've been seeing a guy who already has a girlfriend. I have done for 3 months now...
A. 27 December 2007: Hello,
What a difficult situation, and I totally understand your worry and concern and its actually nice of you to worry about your boyfriends other partner.
What you need to do firstly is sit down and talk to your boyfriend about your feeli... (read in full...)
I'm on the pill but afraid I might have gotten pregnant anyway, what do you think?
Q. I am asking my question again to see if I may please get some more responses. I am on the pill and have been for a few years now. I have been having sex without condoms with my boyfriend. I am having spotting which has gone from light pink to ...
A. 27 December 2007: Hello,
As long as you've kept up to date with your pill, i.e taken every single one (not missed any), on the correct days etc then the chances are very very very very small as the pill is a hugely popular contraceptive.
Remember the ... (read in full...)
I'm so messed up over this guy screwing with my head! I don't know how to handle this pain, how do I move on from him and start controlling my emotions?
Q. I'm 18, in love, and f***ed up to be honest. I'm not very good at controlling my emotions or sorting out my life and I really need to. I like this guy but we're not even going to go there anymore because he's screwing with my head but i thin...
A. 27 December 2007: Hello,
You're 18, you've got a heck of a life awaiting you (and a good one at that) - this one guy, obviously is taking advantage of your emotional states and not helping you at all.
Unfortunately we all go through the same process when we ... (read in full...)
My bf suddenly dumped me after 4 months and I'm afraid it is because I suffer from acne? How do I get my self confidence back?
Q. iv been going out with a guy for 4 months and he suddenly dumped. the thing is i suffer Acne do u think this is the case and how i get my self confidence back! x...
A. 27 December 2007: Hello,
Your at the age now where, you're going to get a lot of bodily changes - and acne unfortunately is the one which annoys us most (along with all the other issues we have to put up with).
If your boyfriend dumped you over such a simple li... (read in full...)
Since my thrush cleared up I don't get wet anymore...any ideas why? I don't want my boyfriend to think I'm cheating or don't fancy him anymore.
Q. i have been with my boyfriend for nearly 10 monthes, and between september and november i had thrush but now i know the cause of this it was from perfumed soap, but it has cleared up now... anyway since it has cleared up everytime i have sex with my ...
A. 27 December 2007: Hello,
I can understand your worry - but try not to worry too much, as you'll probably find everything is going to be ok and your boyfriend will understand perfectly.
Firstly, this totally depends on when you recovered from having thrush - ... (read in full...)
When coming home early from a hunting trip I found a used condom on our bedside table! Should I confront her? And what about the extraordinarily amount of semen, does that mean she has a much younger lover?
Q. My wife and I are in our 50's in age. To my knowledge there has not been any extramarital encounters that I have been aware of and no reasons to think otherwise until recently. My wife works late night shifts and I arrived home early one morning...
A. 27 December 2007: Hello,
You should definately confront her, but in a calm way - make it so she can feel she can talk to you about it. The amount of semen produced varies between person to person, and isn't restricted to age - although it does tend to reduce i... (read in full...)
He says he loves me, do you think he likes me?
Q. I'm a 13 year old girl and this boy who is in my class flirts with me. My friends(including me) and pple I know think he likes me. He has said I am pretty and he has called me baby. He has even hugged me and put his arm around me. He says he loves ...
A. 27 December 2007: Well from the sounds of it, he definately likes you - or he finds it very easy to get along with you!
Ask him "Do you really love me?" - do you feel close friends, get him to say it again - from the sounds of it, he seems very interested in you! ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has been logging on to chatlines giving them his phonenumber to share sexual text and pic messages, what shall I do?
Q. my boyfriend and i have been together for almost a year,the last three months we have been having a lot of problems. he has been logging on to chatlines giving these females his phone number and then they share sexual text and pic messages back and ...
A. 27 December 2007: Confront him, sit down and talk - ask him why he feels he has to turn to other girls for his sexual enjoyment, explain to him you feel hurt and that you want him to stop.
Don't result to shouting though, if the convisation gets out of hand - j... (read in full...)
I met a guy I like, but things got in the way for us to meet up again, now I'm wondering where to go from here??
Q. last Monday, i met this really cute guy in a nightclub. we hanged out most of the night and his other friend had hit on my female friend. we had lots in common and he was really polite and asked if he could but his arm round me, in which i let him. ...
A. 27 December 2007: Hello,
Its a toughie, from your description he sounds like a really solid guy and you sound pretty set on seeing him (and I don't blame you!).
Key word here is 'insecure' an insecure guy is very hard to bypass, they find it very hard to sho... (read in full...)
She wants me to be more touchy feely, but I don't want to offend her
Q. Hi, me and my girl friend are both 14 year's old. im 15 in april. im not looking forward to it. we are in love, i know this for a fact. you can tell me we are not go ahead it wont do eny good. im not trieing to sound rude. but my problem is to...
A. 26 December 2007: ello,
You're both very young, and very much in love (and I appreciate that - its such a nice thing to be in).
She says she wants you to become more touchy with her, and I understand your worry about 'offending' her or going too far - this is pe... (read in full...)
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