A
female
age
30-35,
*eckii
writes:Hi im 14 years old and have been going out with a guy for about 4 months. He used to really like me and i didnt like him that much but grew to love him. we had been going out secretly at school so no one knew about it because of his race. i know it sounds horrible but i would get tuk the mickey out of. now his ex is back on the sceen he dumped me. but the thing is i gave him a blow job and now feel dirty but i still love him. what would u advise me to do?
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male
reader, dc.ryan +, writes (27 December 2007):
 Hello,
You shouldn't feel dirty, as engaging in sexual activities with your partner is completely normal (perhaps not at 13-15 - but still, whenever you feel ready) - although he has left you, you must consider why; for another girl.
In my opinion this makes your ex-boyfriend appear to be a very cruel, heartless individual who has messed around with your feelings for a quick bit of fun.
End of the day, you need to ask your self was he really worth the effort? There are plenty of other lovely guys who truely mean their feelings for you out there, and you're just waiting to find them (and trust me you will) you need to get over this lad, as by making you feel dirty he hasn't been a very good boyfriend has he?
Try and take your mind off him, go out with friends - go to the cinema, girlie night ins etc - just try and put him out of your mind, you can remain friends but I wouldn't recommend continuing your feelings for him, afterall he has messed you around.
Ryan
A
female
reader, x-Happy-Feet-x +, writes (27 December 2007):
 yes your in the same position as me i got picked on by family and people in school my man is asian and im white dont worry about this because it will blow over but i cant believe he has left you i no you must love him alot i love my man ive been with him a year and still am i have dun stuff with him but dont think yourself as dirty its just pleasure try and move on and hang out with some girls they will make you feel better x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2007): hi there. as i read your post, the first thing that came to my mind is how young you are. first of all, if you have been sleeping with this lad, i hope you were safe. however, any sexual contact at all is meant to be meaningful and loving. sex should be about trust, honesty and love and commitment-these are things that develop over time. at such a young age,sometimes difficult to come to terms with the ups and downs of relationships. from what you have said, it seems to me that underneath it all you were worried about the race of this lad and the reaction your peers would have- as you get older and experience more of life, you will come to see that issues such as 'what will others think' will fade and when you find the right person, you wont care what others think. as for giving him oral sex- this is a personal expression of love that couples in commited loving relationships do. i think you are still young, and you should think of this as a lesson- you will prob make the same mistake again- we all do!
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