A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:My wife and I are in our 50's in age. To my knowledge there has not beenany extramarital encounters that I have been aware of and no reasons tothink otherwise until recently. My wife works late night shifts and I arrived home early one morning after a short hunting trip finished early. ThinkingI'd get some quick nap time before she came home I jumped in the bed and turned off the bedside light, removed my watch and set it on shelf of bedside. While doing so I brushed against something that felt unusual, turned the light back on and found a used condom that contained what I think is a very large amount of semen. (We haven't used condoms in more than 20 years)I'm debating on whether to confront her about it or just wait and see if anythingunusual in her behavior happens to surface. I removed the condom and tied itoff to prevent leakage and put it in a small ziplock baggie for safe keeping or untilI decide to dispose of it later on. I am sure she was not aware of the condom beingplaced there and I am assuming someone lost track and forgot to remove it. Myquestion deals with the vast amount of semen that was in the condom. I know frommy experience the resevoir end would be full, but on the condom I found it was more thantriple the amount that I have ever seen (possibly more about 1 inch higher above the resevoir tip). The condom size I would say is probaly a larger size from what I have ever used, although there was no package that I found. I guess my question is based on the semen amount and wonderingif a younger male would produce that much compared to a older male? I am tryingto maybe determine if this could be a affair with younger man or possibly someonethat could have mutiple ejaculations. For me it was always one time ejacualation andmy part was done. I'm new to this forum, having been referred to by chat friend, so Iwould appreciate any comments or suggestions. Thanks.
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male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (27 December 2007):
 Before you say ANYTHING to her, talk to a family lawyer. That is your first step. You are focusing on the wrong thing right now. You are trying to figure out who, and are too concern with his sexual performance, when you need to be thinking about your accounts and finances. See a family lawyer to know what your rights are, and if you were to get divorced what would happen to you at your age. Will you lose your house? Will you end up losing benefits from a pension plan that is currently joint? Etc...
My guess is that it is not the first time she has cheated on you. If you have children, consider the chance they may not be yours.
When lovers leave out territory markers like this, it is a sign they want something to come to the surface. It could have been her that wants you to dump her, so that she can get divorced and appear to be the victim. IT could be her guilt on a subconscious level. It could be her way to let you know to find a mistress yourself. It could be her lover who is trying to wreck your marriage for his own reasons. You do not know yet, but for now, I would suggest rigging up a hidden camera and VCR so you can get evidence to work in your favor if this leads to a divorce. The used condom is simply not enough.
Cover your ass, before you confront her.
-Frank B Kermit
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (27 December 2007):
 As is very often the case, I agree with Baby Duck. Sir, it is very clear that your wife slept with another man. The odds of that condom having been used with someone else are very small, to say the least. You have material proof of her cheating.
People do forget about things and that often this is how a spouse finds out about cheating. But, in my life, I have found that sometimes people make "mistakes" on purpose. Like a couple of doctors I know, who were sleeping together. The girl became pregnant by a "mistake" that led to their families accepting their marriage, since a child was on the way. So, in this case, I have a hunch that perhaps someone wanted the condom to be found. I may be wrong on this, of course.
At first sight, the amount of semen is not important. However, your asking about it has to do with trying to find out who might have been the man. Semen is produced at a somewhat constant rate, but it comes out in different amounts depending on the frequency of intercourse. If you have frequent intercourse, then the ejaculate is less. If you wait a few days, you ejaculate more. My guess is, the man who used this condom didn't have sex in some time. You can't tell whether he was young or old by this measure.
As to frequent ejaculations, I think it would be very uncomfortable for a man to ejaculate several times in the same condom. And the risk of it breaking would be much higher. Also, the man would need to have maintained an ejaculation for as long as he used the condom.
Extra large condoms are 55 millimeters wide. "Normal" sizes are 52. Maybe the length could change, but the girth doesn't change so much.
I agree with doctor Ryan in that the conversation does not need to escalate into an argument. But I think it will. You have proof of her cheating. I wonder if she will keep the issue at the level of civilized chatting. The moment to talk about this was right when you found it. As of today, I wouldn't be surprised if she denied the whole thing and said you "planted" it.
I'm not sure what your ultimate intention is. I see you're trying to determine who the man might have been. But, I think this can be irrelevant, really. The real question is what you will do about the cheating. I don't think I'm qualified to give an opinion on this, as I'm much younger than you, sir, and I wonder if I can really understand what your life is like at this moment.
Take care, sir.
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A
male
reader, dc.ryan  +, writes (27 December 2007):
 Hello,
You should definately confront her, but in a calm way - make it so she can feel she can talk to you about it. The amount of semen produced varies between person to person, and isn't restricted to age - although it does tend to reduce in production levels at a certain age, but still it is possible they could be the same age as you.
First off, don't jump to conclusions - perhaps you had guests staying or family for example - who had forgotten to clean up? But it is still very important that you approach your wife, and talk to her about your find.
Please don't get let the convisation escalate to argument, as this can only make situations worse - express your disapointment if it is what you suspect, but don't necessarily raise your voice (although how hard it may be). Afterall, you still love her - and she still probably means a hell of a lot to you and she had have her reasons for doing such a thing.
Ryan
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