My married lover had a stroke, but we still want to be together. How can we make this possible?
Q. Hi, I've been married for quite a few years, but I have always known I married on the rebound from my first marriage, which also was never right. The reason for this is that there was always someone else that I loved, but I never explored it as I ...
A. 17 February 2011: If you know you two really want to be with each other, then you should be together, but not by prolonging this affair. Take the leap and end your marriages (since there's no hope for your marriages if you really want with all your heart and soul to ... (read in full...)
I'm unfaithful and it's killing me!
Q. I have been married for 10 years to the man I loved, and we have 2 wonderful children. After 4 happy years, a big issue based on my hubby's "unfair" suspicions, almost made our marriage collapse. We managed to overcome the matter but without going ...
A. 4 February 2011: if you are only staying out of fear, then you might want to make a back up plan for how to leave if and when you are ready. Since fear of your husband is a big factor in why you're not leaving, call a domestic violence helpline in your area and they ... (read in full...)
My husband is sucking me dry... emotionally. Need advice!
Q. I don't even know why I am posting this here or how to phrase this so that I don't seem like the bad guy...but I am. And I know it. And yes, feel free to tell me so. I tried to tell my hubby that if he posted here with this problem you would all ...
A. 4 February 2011: I understand totally what you mean about the excess skin - I know people who have undergone the gastric bypass surgery, both before and after.
in a way, it's ironic that now that you are no longer obese, you feel LESS attractive - or your hus... (read in full...)
My married lover had a stroke, but we still want to be together. How can we make this possible?
Q. Hi, I've been married for quite a few years, but I have always known I married on the rebound from my first marriage, which also was never right. The reason for this is that there was always someone else that I loved, but I never explored it as I ...
A. 4 February 2011: you and him should end your affair until you are both divorced from your spouses. Then you can start a real relationship.
So, I think you should both end your affair first, and then take time apart from each other. During this time apart, you shou... (read in full...)
Do men treat their girlfriends differently???
Q. Do men treat their girlfriends differently? If so, why? I broke up with my ex just over a year ago. I thought I was getting over him quite well until I saw some photos of him on a social networking site with his new girlfriend. She talks of...
A. 3 February 2011: some thoughts:
1. You're comparing him in the "honeymoon phase" of a relationship with the him in the "ending phase" of an old relationship. Of course he will be different. Anyone would be. You probably will be as well when you get into a new rela... (read in full...)
Why do these girls always take it out on other girls when it's the mans fault?
Q. I've been dateing this boy for a while. His other "girlfriend" has found out. Which I didn't evan know she existed around him, I didn't know who she was. I stopped dating him now. But why do these girls always take it out on other girls when it's ...
A. 3 February 2011: I should add a caveat to what I said before - it's not the other woman's fault if she didn't know the man was already taken.... (read in full...)
My husband is sucking me dry... emotionally. Need advice!
Q. I don't even know why I am posting this here or how to phrase this so that I don't seem like the bad guy...but I am. And I know it. And yes, feel free to tell me so. I tried to tell my hubby that if he posted here with this problem you would all ...
A. 3 February 2011: you've lost 130 pounds and your husband lost 200 pounds? Wow, that's great!
So is he feeling a lot BETTER about himself now compared to before he lost all that weight? how about yourself?
... (read in full...)
I'm unfaithful and it's killing me!
Q. I have been married for 10 years to the man I loved, and we have 2 wonderful children. After 4 happy years, a big issue based on my hubby's "unfair" suspicions, almost made our marriage collapse. We managed to overcome the matter but without going ...
A. 3 February 2011: "I tried to leave him but his pride was hurt and he took actions to avenge it, that almost caused a disaster. He was completely blinded in his reactions that even destroying the children didn't stop him. When I withdrew, he's back to be the soft ... (read in full...)
Why do these girls always take it out on other girls when it's the mans fault?
Q. I've been dateing this boy for a while. His other "girlfriend" has found out. Which I didn't evan know she existed around him, I didn't know who she was. I stopped dating him now. But why do these girls always take it out on other girls when it's ...
A. 3 February 2011: you're absolutely right it's not the other woman's fault it's the man's fault. I think the reason the main woman goes after the other woman is because she was under the impression until now that their relationship was perfect. So how could her ma... (read in full...)
My husband is sucking me dry... emotionally. Need advice!
Q. I don't even know why I am posting this here or how to phrase this so that I don't seem like the bad guy...but I am. And I know it. And yes, feel free to tell me so. I tried to tell my hubby that if he posted here with this problem you would all ...
A. 2 February 2011: Your husband needs to re-adjust his attitude and behavior because he's the one with the double standard. He is being controlling. You have no problem with his girl friends. But he has a massive problem with your ONE male friend. He wants you to give ... (read in full...)
I'm unfaithful and it's killing me!
Q. I have been married for 10 years to the man I loved, and we have 2 wonderful children. After 4 happy years, a big issue based on my hubby's "unfair" suspicions, almost made our marriage collapse. We managed to overcome the matter but without going ...
A. 2 February 2011: You need to end your affair and divorce your husband.
It's wrong to be in an affair while you're married. And if you were to leave your husband just to be with this man, you're doing so under false premises. you don't really know this guy because ... (read in full...)
Stuck with my current GF because its the easiest option, but my physical attraction for her is weaning and I'v cheated on her....
Q. Hi there, Im going to sound like the bad guy in this but hear me out, I would appreciate all opinions, good or bad. Thanks! So, Ive been with my girlfriend for 6 months now, and she is very much into me, almost infatuated and although I do li...
A. 2 February 2011: You should break up with your girlfriend, get strong and be able to handle being on your own, figure out who you are and THEN be open to meeting and dating new people. In that order. Right now you're hurting your girlfriend so you need to stop you... (read in full...)
My husband has delusional thoughts of me
Q. My husband has delusional thoughts of me. He asks certain questions and twists them into something totally different. He has always done this. He has always thought i am cheating on him, that i have or will. I cant stand defending myself against ...
A. 1 February 2011: it's good that you and him had an honest open discussion and that he admits that he needs to work on some things.
"He told me that he wants me to make him feel like I am his and only his. He really just needs alot of attention in my opinion,... (read in full...)
I have just found out that my ex was seeing another woman in the months before he left me, how do I deal with this?
Q. I'm not sure why I am writing this but, somehow I feel if I write about what I am feeling right now it will help. My ex fiance left me after 7 yrs. together basically for someone else. When he first ended it with me he told me after a huge argument ...
A. 1 February 2011: I think right now you're floundering in limbo with one foot still in your old relationship and another foot trying to move on. It doesn't help that he's still driving by your house and texting you and you're still in contact with his family even ... (read in full...)
Trust and loyalty towards family
Q. My daughter was married for 2 years. Overnight she turned into a quiet, withdrawn person. Talking to her, supporting her didnt draw her out of her shell. During the 2 years we (family/close friends) noticed that things between her and her husband ...
A. 1 February 2011: First of all, good for your daughter for having the strength and courage to protect herself and get out of her abusive marriage.
But if she is divorcing her abusive husband, why does she care if he slept with her ex-almost-sis-in-law (did i g... (read in full...)
Is it okay for a FWB, to flirt with your friends, should I discuss it??
Q. Do you think it's okay for a fuck buddy to flirt with your friends? Also, should you talk to him about it?...
A. 1 February 2011: if you're just FWB then yes it's appropriate to flirt with other people.
but human nature being what it is, this is why FWB relationships are rarely so simple and usually lead to a lot of complications and misunderstandings
so I guess my... (read in full...)
Am I crazy for staying?
Q. My wife and I share 2 gorgeous children and we are coming up to 12 faithful years together. Over the past fortnight she has revealed to me that she has fallen for a female work colleague. My wife has had a very sordid past with many men and women. I ...
A. 1 February 2011: "I cannot help but think that she stays with me because I am safe, we have 2 children, and she feels that our families and friends will disown her."
Lots of people stay married for these reasons. However if these are the only reasons, then the... (read in full...)
My husband has delusional thoughts of me
Q. My husband has delusional thoughts of me. He asks certain questions and twists them into something totally different. He has always done this. He has always thought i am cheating on him, that i have or will. I cant stand defending myself against ...
A. 1 February 2011: "I am getting tired of defending myself and saying words that are not nessesarily true or how i feel to make him feel better about himself. I feel un trusted and not valued. I keep telling him that our probelms have alot to do with his own ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is still married, living with his wife and having a baby with her!
Q. my boyfriend of 5 months is married but seperated and has a baby due anyday now. He lives in another city with his mom and dad and wife. He come to see me when ever he can. So many times I've tried to end it because of the situation but we just ...
A. 1 February 2011: realize that he's in a bad position. Let's say he truly doesn't love his wife and he truly loves you instead (as you claim). But if he were to leave her when she's due to give birth to his kid any day now, how does that make him look? everyone w... (read in full...)
My husband has delusional thoughts of me
Q. My husband has delusional thoughts of me. He asks certain questions and twists them into something totally different. He has always done this. He has always thought i am cheating on him, that i have or will. I cant stand defending myself against ...
A. 1 February 2011: I agree with other female anon, he has insecurity and control issues. Most controlling people are that way due to insecurity.
You can't change him. you can only hope he'll realize the problem is in his head and he needs to deal with it on his own.... (read in full...)
Should I confront this crazy coworker and tell her to stop stalking my husband?
Q. I discovered that one of my husbands much younger employees was sending him "I love you type" text messages. When I confronted him, he told me I misunderstood the context. He says the girl admitted to him that she was contemplating suicide and he ...
A. 31 January 2011: I think your husband is either weak and naive, or he's hiding something.
if the girl really is suicidal and your husband knows this and he's her boss then it's his responsibility to send her to professional help. She needs to call a suicide ... (read in full...)
Was naked with my ex...should I tell my girlfriend?
Q. So last night was my ex's 22nd birthday, so since we're still on good terms I went out with her and some of my old mutual friends. The night started off fairly well but as the night progressed I got more and more drunk (more so than I've gotten in ...
A. 30 January 2011: I know it's hard but I think you should tell your girlfriend for a few reasons:
1. even if you don't, she might find out about it on her own later, like if your ex said something to someone, who said something to someone else and then somehow ... (read in full...)
How can I bridge this terrible predicament?
Q. I am a middle-aged man, I have a daughter who was born when I was in my teens. Her mother and I were High school sweet hearts and I loved her very much. My daughters mother was unfaithful to me many times, I tried to make it work but I could no ...
A. 30 January 2011: sorry to hear of this awful situation. Unfortunately I think the best you can do is try to contact your daughter to tell your side of the story, and just leave it at that even if she doesn't believe you.
As your kid's dad you have always had lega... (read in full...)
If I give my married lover an ultimatum is it likely that she will leave her impotent husband for me?
Q. I'm a 25 year old male, and have been in love for 1 yr with a married woman aged 26. She has been married for 3 years and never had sex with her husband, because her husband is impotent and even denies he has a problem, and considers not having sex ...
A. 29 January 2011: good for you for moving on.
Good luck!... (read in full...)
I hit my girlfriend, is it my fault or hers?
Q. im 15 ma girlfriends 14 were in the same year but im not proud of what i did but i need some advice me and my girlfriend were arguing after something that happened at school i kinda said she was flirting with my bestmate because she was hugging him ...
A. 29 January 2011: It is your fault. Being extremely upset and angry at her is natural and that part is not your fault. She did provoke to into a high level of anger with her hurtful words and her behavior, after all. HOWEVER that is no excuse to raise your hand to ... (read in full...)
She has a profile on a website designed for married people to cheat....I'm not sure if I can be with her anymore knowing she could do this
Q. I have just discovered (or rather the computer repairer told me) that during a period where we broke up, my girlfriend had joined a site that is there for married people to cheat on each other . She`s down as single but seeking attached or married ...
A. 28 January 2011: Your girlfriend sounds like a real piece of work. I'm sorry but that's the truth from what you've written about her. I don't know why nice guys like you get involved with and stay with women like her. And you even write "I know that I have no right ... (read in full...)
If I give my married lover an ultimatum is it likely that she will leave her impotent husband for me?
Q. I'm a 25 year old male, and have been in love for 1 yr with a married woman aged 26. She has been married for 3 years and never had sex with her husband, because her husband is impotent and even denies he has a problem, and considers not having sex ...
A. 28 January 2011: Does she have friends or other people she knows who have gone through divorce and later remarried and are living much happier lives? Does she know people who have parents similar to hers and who managed to get out from under the parents' control... (read in full...)
If I give my married lover an ultimatum is it likely that she will leave her impotent husband for me?
Q. I'm a 25 year old male, and have been in love for 1 yr with a married woman aged 26. She has been married for 3 years and never had sex with her husband, because her husband is impotent and even denies he has a problem, and considers not having sex ...
A. 27 January 2011: You're taking a step in the right direction of realizing how damaging and unhealthy it is to be in an extramarital affair, and trying to take action to get out of this situation.
But you can't control other people's feelings. If she feels a ... (read in full...)
My husband wants a quick divorce but then why does he call me every day and talk?
Q. my husband left me almost a month ago said he didnt love me and that he wanted to be friends after the divorce and then maybe more, i dont know about all of that but he acts as if he doesnt know if he is sure of himself or if he isnt,my mom and ...
A. 27 January 2011:
I have a couple of interpretations but you know him better than anyone else so you be the judge
one is he's emotionally weak and afraid of being alone so he's clinging to you, even though he's the one who initiated the divorce.
he wants to... (read in full...)
Why does she still want to talk when she ended our affair?
Q. I have been seeing a married woman for about 8 months. I’m single. She decided to stay where she. I do love this gal and have for years before this started. I love talking with her. We have weekend places very close to each other. Before we got done ...
A. 27 January 2011: it sounds like she is too weak to make a choice between you or her marriage. she wants both because she's getting something different from both. Probably with her husband she gets security and status of being a normal married woman. but with you she ... (read in full...)
I need an outsiders prospective...Does my husband just want out of this marriage?
Q. I have been married to my husband almost 5 years, and been with him for almost 12 years. Up until 10 days ago, if anyone would have asked, I would have told them that I have a very happy marriage. But that all changed. My husband blows up on me o...
A. 27 January 2011: so you've been together for 12 years, married for 5 years, and up until 10 days ago everything was fine and normal. To you at least. Then suddenly 10 days ago he turned into this raging monster?? it's this sudden extreme change that's very dist... (read in full...)
Does my husband have the right to be upset about a one night stand when we were separated?
Q. I'm so confused and need some advice. Let me start out by saying I am married, I love my husband and I have no intention on leaving him. Basically my question right now is does my husband have the right to be mad and upset at me for having a one ...
A. 27 January 2011: He has no right to be upset at you. The facts: 1) he cheated on you first. And not just one time, but he actually having an ongoing affair. Then he left you to go live with his mistress. 2) then while living with her, he was cheating on her ... (read in full...)
Married and have feelings for another man
Q. I am a married woman. I have been married to the same man for almost 20 years. He loves me with all his heart. He is loyal, a good father to our kids, and he does everything for me. He puts up with me even when I am not nice to him. Any woman would ...
A. 26 January 2011: OP, don't compare the other guy with your husband to decide who you should be with. Put the other guy aside first and examine your marriage, on its own grounds, without anyone else being available as an alternative. If you would be OK stayin... (read in full...)
If I give my married lover an ultimatum is it likely that she will leave her impotent husband for me?
Q. I'm a 25 year old male, and have been in love for 1 yr with a married woman aged 26. She has been married for 3 years and never had sex with her husband, because her husband is impotent and even denies he has a problem, and considers not having sex ...
A. 26 January 2011: If you give her an ultimatum, you have to be prepared to back up your words and break up with her if she says no. Otherwise, your word means nothing. Are you prepared to walk away from her, if she were to say no? If not, then you should use ot... (read in full...)
Married and have feelings for another man
Q. I am a married woman. I have been married to the same man for almost 20 years. He loves me with all his heart. He is loyal, a good father to our kids, and he does everything for me. He puts up with me even when I am not nice to him. Any woman would ...
A. 26 January 2011: However, OP, despite the fact that I think it's not wrong for you to ask the other man if he shares your feelings, I still stand by my first post which is that since you have stated that there's nothing "wrong" with your marriage, that therefore you ... (read in full...)
Married and have feelings for another man
Q. I am a married woman. I have been married to the same man for almost 20 years. He loves me with all his heart. He is loyal, a good father to our kids, and he does everything for me. He puts up with me even when I am not nice to him. Any woman would ...
A. 26 January 2011: I don't think it's wrong for the OP to ask the other man if he shares her feelings. She's clear that she will not get into an affair and that if they are to start a relationship they would have to first leave their spouses. She just wants to know ... (read in full...)
Should I keep my married boyfriend's baby?
Q. I have been seeing a married man for almost 4 years he has been married 6 yrs. I know I will be judged and for the most part for what I have read on this topic, answers seem to be one sided. Always blaming the mistress. It takes two selfish,cheaters ...
A. 26 January 2011: He doesn't love you, he is just using you and manipulating you to get his selfish needs met. His wife should be pitied for being married to a scum like him. No woman deserves a husband like this. Not only is he cheating on her and betraying her, but ... (read in full...)
Married and have feelings for another man
Q. I am a married woman. I have been married to the same man for almost 20 years. He loves me with all his heart. He is loyal, a good father to our kids, and he does everything for me. He puts up with me even when I am not nice to him. Any woman would ...
A. 25 January 2011: Since you state that you love your husband, you are satisfied with your marriage, there's nothing "wrong" with your marriage, then I would say that you should cut this other man out of your life so you can stay faithful to your marriage.
well ... (read in full...)
I do want to be with him but there's no trust due to her getting pregnant and him leaving me again.
Q. Please dont judge! I need advice! My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year and a half now. We broke up for about 2 months from April-June last year and he started talking to this girl, I always believed in if you love something let it ...
A. 25 January 2011: Sometimes we have to give up what we want, in order to live a peaceful life... some times having what you want, creates so much drama and heart ache that it poisons whatever good you had or thought would have in it and so in the end you are not ... (read in full...)
If he will not use this separation to work on our marriage then why should I hold out hope that we'll ever get back together?
Q. My husband and I have been separated a couple weeks now. We decided we needed to separate when it didn't seem like things were getting better at home. He is not sure what he wants and I have been willing and ready to work through our problems. He ...
A. 23 January 2011: I think the ultimatum is good only if it turns out that you end up walking away from this marriage. It makes it definite and clear cut, no ambiguities and I think it's healthy for you to walk out of this marriage with your head held high.
But i... (read in full...)
I cant have children but would like to date a woman who has children so I can be a role model
Q. I'm 32 years old and recently divorced 11 months ago after a 3 year marriage. My ex left me after we were trying to have a child, she couldn't get pregnant and after numerous tests it came back that I'm sterile and unable to father a child, she ...
A. 23 January 2011: I'm sorry to hear that your ex-wife chose to leave you rather than explore adoption. I have to admit I never understood why it is so important for some (or many?) people to have their own DNA walking around, as opposed to bringing a new life into ... (read in full...)
What are the boundaries between a friendship and an emotional affair?
Q. most people do their jobs with male or female..definatly they became friends..what are the boundries? why most people have emotional affair with co.workers...although they say they are just friends but they have love feelings for each ...
A. 23 January 2011: It crosses boundaries when you start saying or doing things around this friend that you wouldn't say or do if your spouse or significant other was in the room or heard/saw everything. ... (read in full...)
I think my in laws are stalking me online
Q. I think my inlaws are stalking me online. A few years ago I posted a story about how awful a certain in-law had behaved towards me and how upset I was and asked what I could do about it got a few replies but the in-law it was regarding found out and ...
A. 23 January 2011: what exactly are your in laws upset at you for? Are they upset because you aired the family's dirty laundry in public? Or are they upset because you disagree with them over whatever the issue of the conflict is?
IMO if no names or identify... (read in full...)
My married man just let me go with no reason. I'm trying to get over him
Q. help! Im still in love with my married man. How can i comlpetely forget him? We have not contacted for 2 months now.i dont know the reason why. He just let me go without saying a word. Im trying to move on. I have been dating with other guys and ...
A. 23 January 2011: Healing from a break up is always tough. But feelings will fade with time PROVIDED that it's truly over and nothing 'new' happens like you don't get back in contact with him. Because if you do, even once, then that resets the clock for getting over ... (read in full...)
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