A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:im 15 ma girlfriends 14 were in the same year but im not proud of what i did but i need some advice me and my girlfriend were arguing after something that happened at school i kinda said she was flirting with my bestmate because she was hugging him and every thing but now my bestmates not very happy with me and me and my gf were arguing all the way home and when we finally got outside her house she said that i couldnt hold down a relationship just like my dad and my mum and dad got divorced about 3 months ago and at this point we were at the verge of breaking up and about a second after she said that i slapped her in the face really hard it was a split second thing i didnt mean to do it and i was wondering if its her fault or mine ?
View related questions:
divorce, flirt Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (29 January 2011):
 The OP has had quite a few responses here, and there is a very clear consensus. The question is closed to further answers.
A
female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (29 January 2011):
 hi
definitely your fault and you need to learn how to WALK AWAY when someone is winding you up. do not let hitting women become a habit. i do not believe it was a split second thing; you were angry coz you were jealous and then you both continued to argue all the way home.
did your mum and dad have problems like this in their marriage and that's why they split up? i only ask because if you have grown up seeing this sort of thing it can have this can have an effect on you.
i hope you can tell your parents, or a least one of them, what you have done and that they can help you. ok, so your girlfriend said something that upset you (you don't mention what you had been saying to her) but next time a girl does that; you can make her feel bad by just shutting up and walking away, and walk yourself home, it will take you out of the explosive situation and help you to calm down.
as it is now, your girlfriend has probably not reflected on what she has done ('flirting' with your mate and commenting on your parents divorce) all she will be thinking about is the fact that you have hit her, and she will probably go around telling everyone too, so you might end up with a horrible reputation.
NEVER do this again. it is not the answer - seriously - you CAN learn ways to deal with your emotions that don't involve smacking someone in the face
xx
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2011): It is your fault, you can not blame others for your actions. The good thing is that you know you did wrong, therefore you know that you need to stop. Never hit a woman, a girl, it is not right even when she says hurtful things. If I were you I would find some kind of counselinng or speak to your parents to help you out. The counseling should address your temper and the way you act out when you are angry. I think you are smart enough to know that you should NEVER do that again. Good Luck!
...............................
A
male
reader, Illithid  +, writes (29 January 2011):
 There's a simple rule to determine whose fault it is when a man hits a woman. If she was pointing a knife/gun at you, it's her fault. If not, it's your fault. Period.
...............................
A
male
reader, Capri2  +, writes (29 January 2011):
She was very mean. But nothing justifies slapping her. It's your fault for not being able to control yourself.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2011): What she said was cruel. When people talk about my family, I go ape-shit inside too.
But you can't hit people. You really can't. I suggest you apologize for what you did. Even if she sneers at you and rubs it in your nose or whatever...she might mock you with with words, but please take it as an opportunity to be a bigger person.
You are worried about this, so I suspect that you are a in a conscientious person. A conscientious person would apologize to her.
...............................
A
female
reader, chocoholicforever +, writes (29 January 2011):
It is your fault. Being extremely upset and angry at her is natural and that part is not your fault. She did provoke to into a high level of anger with her hurtful words and her behavior, after all. HOWEVER that is no excuse to raise your hand to her.
You need to develop more restraint and self-control. It's alright and normal to feel angry when someone says or does things that hurt your feelings. But hitting someone out of anger or revenge or even as a gut reaction is not acceptable no matter how angry or hurt you are.
You need to apologize to her.
If you find this happening again, you should talk to your parents or a teacher or school counselor or a trusted adult about it because if it happens again it would mean you have anger management issue and this can really ruin your future relationships if it doesn't get addressed.
...............................
A
female
reader, samismiles +, writes (29 January 2011):
It's your fault. You're old enough to know what's right and wrong! If I were you I'd seriously think about your behviour and apologise. There's no way that what you did could be seen as her fault, there's no excuse for violence. If she said something you didn't like you could have just walked away from the argument. You're too young to get that serious about a relationship, holding down a relationship at age 15 shouldn't be difficult. If it is it isn't worth the hassle, no one I know (including myself) that were in a relationship at that age is with the same person now. Generally that's because we live in a society that allows us to be in relationships whenever we want. Try apologising, but make sure you understand that it is just not acceptable behaviour to physically hurt anyone, no matter who they are, it is not your right.
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (29 January 2011):
You hit her. Your fault.
...............................
A
female
reader, mystiquek + ♥, writes (29 January 2011):
 Yes, it is your fault and since you're on here asking you already know you did something wrong. You have a conscious, so thats good. Its never alright to hit someone, especially not a woman, or a child. They are weaker under most circumstances and cannot easily defend against a young boy/man. Please realize that you could be starting a pattern of abuse and violence and STOP it RIGHT NOW. Either learn to control your anger or seek help to do so. Violence is never the answer. Walk away before striking out. Your girlfriend wasn't acting very nicely, but you need to be mature enough to walk away. Please think over the answers you have been given and learn from your mistake. Relationships are never easy, but just keep in mind that there will be disagreements from time to time, and frustration and you must seek out better ways to handle your emotions.
...............................
A
female
reader, LostInMyself +, writes (28 January 2011):
 OBVIOUSLY is just fault. There is NO REASON to hit a woman. On the future one of them will be smart take it to the police and make you pay.
DONT ever do it. Would YOU LIKE ANOTHER MAN SLAPPING YOUR MOM?
Think about it.
...............................
A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice + ♥, writes (28 January 2011):
 Fault?
Of course it is your fault. Her face did not slap your hand. Your responsibility is to control your temper. At your age it is going to be hard and you are going to make mistakes. Making excuses and blaming the other person will not help you to become the responsible man you want to become.
Now, this is not the whole story. There are more kinds of abuse than hitting. You girl friend dealt you a blow every bit as stinging as yours. That is called emotional abuse. Your trying to control her is another form of abuse. When two people get into a fight like that people will get hurt.
My advice to you at your tender age is to let it go. Learn your lessons. You should apologize to her for losing your temper, without making any excuses or passing the blame. Then you should go ahead and break up. At your age there is plenty of time for new relations. If she wants to pursue your best friend let them enjoy the time.
FA
...............................
A
female
reader, SweetSmoochy +, writes (28 January 2011):
 That was a terrible thing for her to say, but physical violence is NEVER okay from either partner. You should have told her to go away, broken up with her, even cussed her out. The best thing would have been, in my poinion, to call her a heartless bitch for saying such a horrible thing to you, and walked away. It was absolutely completely NOT okay to hit her. That is NEVER an option in a relationship.
...............................
A
female
reader, island_babe  +, writes (28 January 2011):
 No matter dah situation u DONOT at any circumstances HIT A GIRL ever but in your defence she went overboard with what she said !! no good she shouldnt of said it
...............................
|
