The man I love proposed to a woman back home. He is giving me mixed signals. Help!
Q. Hi everyone, I have posted similar questions to this issue, and this is somewhat of a followup question. I have fallen for a foreign-exchange student who loves another that may or may not return the feelings. It is a relationship from his past tha...
A. 2 March 2011: You should probably distance yourself and not try to remain friends with him until you are over him.
He sounds pretty messed up, and his reasons for wanting to marry his girlfriend sound pretty messed up too.
You say you want to remain his fr... (read in full...)
Discovered that my husband was cheating. Do I stay or go?
Q. Hello, looking for some advice, i have been with my husband for 9 years, married for 4, we have a 2 year old son together and i have 2 children from a previous marriage. I recently found out via a man coming to my door that my husband had been...
A. 2 March 2011: I'm so sorry to hear about your illness.
I think you know that your husband is pretty much "gone" from your relationship mentally and emotionally. He's a totally different person with her versus with you. He's only staying with you out of guilt... (read in full...)
Should I leave my wife? I'm more comfortable with my girlfriend!
Q. I have a rather lengthy question I will try to keep short.. I have been married for 4 years and I have began having an affair with a girl 17 years my jr.. My wife is 10 years my jr.. I feel like I really love this other woman.. I have been open...
A. 2 March 2011: has your wife been cruel or heartless to you thus making you feel emotionally "unsafe" around her? If so, don't stay with someone who is cruel to you, whether or not you have someone else to be with.
the fact that you feel comfortable with som... (read in full...)
She always wants her space!
Q. I guess I'm the type of person who needs to feel constantly loved. My girlfriend and I have been dating for 4 years now and it is just like that fire is gone. I found out she had feelings for another guy and she doesn't really try to hold my hand or ...
A. 1 March 2011: I hate to say it but it sounds like your girlfriend really can't stand you and wants nothing to do with you, i.e. she doesn't want to be in this relationship anymore. Why she doesn't break up with you, who knows. Maybe she's afraid of hurting you if ... (read in full...)
I can't convince her to leave her husband.
Q. I am having trouble coping with the guilt I feel about the relationship my girlfriend and I have. She is married and has been married for 8 years, her and I have been seeing each other for 3 years and I can seriously say I love that women. When...
A. 1 March 2011: It sounds like your married girlfriend is stringing you along while cheating on her husband. Are you sure this is someone you want to hold onto??
It sounds like she's either very selfish (not wanting to give up anything) or wishy-washy (can't d... (read in full...)
Discovered that my husband was cheating. Do I stay or go?
Q. Hello, looking for some advice, i have been with my husband for 9 years, married for 4, we have a 2 year old son together and i have 2 children from a previous marriage. I recently found out via a man coming to my door that my husband had been...
A. 1 March 2011: I'm so sorry that this has happened. I honestly think you should go. why?
Your wanting to stay is based largely on hoping that he's sincere in wanting you and no longer wanting her. of course that's natural for you to want this. but I really t... (read in full...)
We broke up over his emotional affair but I'm having a change of heart
Q. I can't get over my finace. I found out he was having emotional affair on Facebookand instead of talking he called our engavement off and wouldn't admit to this. ( I gave him space to think and told him if we were no longer together (2.5 years) then ...
A. 1 March 2011: well seeing as how he was the one who had the affair and he was the one who called off the engagement, I think this relationship is over at least as far as he's concerned. His two actions have spoken loud and clear...
... (read in full...)
Does losing temper really mean you care?
Q. Hi all, To start off we are both male Today I asked a friend of mine to stop playing his music up full volume while he was round mine as I had to concentrate on something. He had his other friends with him and he said no, this doesn't sound r...
A. 1 March 2011: Does losing your temper show you care? - I think it depends on how often someone loses their temper and how little it takes to trigger it and what it's about. People who lose their temper often, or over small things, are just throwing tantrums not ... (read in full...)
He says I'm crazy because I'm bipolar!?!?
Q. Me and my husband have been married a little over a year. I found out he had been talking to someone else for over 4 months. He swears nothing is going on. He says i'm crazy because i'm bipolar and it's all in my head. He hardly ever wants to have ...
A. 1 March 2011: Why did you marry this man?? You've been married just over a year - why did you take vows with him essentially promising to be with him forever until death do you part? Is this the kind of life you want??
One person - i.e. you - can't save a m... (read in full...)
The man I love proposed to a woman back home. He is giving me mixed signals. Help!
Q. Hi everyone, I have posted similar questions to this issue, and this is somewhat of a followup question. I have fallen for a foreign-exchange student who loves another that may or may not return the feelings. It is a relationship from his past tha...
A. 28 February 2011: I'm sorry but this guy does not sound the least bit logical to me!
Maybe it's due to cultural differences since you say he's not american but you are?
The facts that I can tell are:
1) you and him have had a secret relationship. He tel... (read in full...)
My boyfriend was losing interest, so I broke up with him. Later, we had sex, but now he is ignoring me! Why?
Q. My ex boyfiend and I broke up 6 weeks ago. It was my decision as he seemed to have lost interest, though he said he still liked me and wanted to still see me and occasionally go out! He started texting me almost straight away, it got dirty flirty ...
A. 28 February 2011: sounds like he's playing games with you. Maybe he's one of those people who's only interested in the thrill of the chase, then once they "have" someone they're no longer interested. Or maybe he was just keeping you around as a safety net while he ... (read in full...)
My husband flirts with other women, and it makes me feel terrible. How can I get the strength to leave this miserable marriage?
Q. I'm thinking of leaving my husband. We've been together for nearly 7 years and dated for 5 years before that, but I feel like my life revolves around him. My husband loves women, and the more attention he gives them, the less I feel about my...
A. 25 February 2011: Good for you for making the decision that you want to leave the marriage, it's just a matter of taking the next step of actually doing it. Many women are so dependent that they won't even think about leaving no matter how miserable they are.
... (read in full...)
We broke up and now have a FWB relationship. I don't get much sex, and I feel used! Should I end it?
Q. So my girlfriend and I broke up a few months back, but kept a FWB relationship till one of us meet someone else. The only problem is that we actually have only had sex once or twice, yet every night she comes to my room, eats my food, watches my ...
A. 25 February 2011: you're both really dependent on each other. You know that a real relationship isn't going to work so you break up. But you still want to sleep together without any strings attached , i.e. FWB....this is not a healthy situation even if you were ... (read in full...)
3 months ago I hadn’t looked at another women in 14 years, now all of a sudden we are planning on leaving our respective partners for each other!
Q. Hi, so this is my story…been married 14 years, have two boys aged 12 and a daughter from wife’s previous relationship aged 20. I thought everything was fine and loved my wife until a couple of months ago, and I am now so confused. I met a girl 2 y...
A. 24 February 2011: You've only known this new woman for 3 months, that's no basis on which to know if she is what you think she really is and if it's really worth leaving your wife and the life you have built with her.
For some people, leaving the marriage and bein... (read in full...)
Should I keep contact with my emotionally abusive ex?
Q. Can someone please give me advice on whether or not to keep in touch with my ex? We dated for 5 years he is 30 i am 25. Most say it was emotionally abusive from his part(calling me fat, no good, yelling) et but there were good times. He ended the ...
A. 24 February 2011: No don't go back to him. You already know what it's like to be with him. And don't stay in contact with him. Cut off all contact with him. You are NOT making a mistake by leaving him and wanting to stay away from him. Don't give in to his pressure, ... (read in full...)
How can I be there for him without getting his hopes up
Q. I was with a guy a while ago for about 4 months we got on well and seemed fine, but he then told me that his ex girlfriend was going to have his child. This was too much for me and I broke it off with him, lately we've been back talking and its all ...
A. 23 February 2011: You don't owe him a relationship just because he's having a rough life and may be destructive or self-destructive.
Tell him that you're not ready to be in a relationship, but you're OK with being just friends. Set clear boundaries and stick wi... (read in full...)
Should I end it with my long term lover(A), despite his objections, so I can be with (B)?
Q. I've been in a relationship for the past 5 years with (A). There's always fights and no understanding between us. It was a type of compromise. Even though we were planning to get married. A few months back one of my close friends (B) suggested a ...
A. 23 February 2011: Ask (A) what good does it do if you physically stay with him but your heart and mind doesn't want to be there? Is that the kind of relationship he wants? Because that's what it will be if you stay with him. what's the purpose of being in such a ... (read in full...)
Husband blocked me on facebook because he was talking to another woman about having sex!
Q. I have been married for 10 years. I thought all was great, until I got a facebook acct. I wanted to put all my info in there, but to my surprise, I couldnt list my husband, because he has me blocked. When I confronted him he said he did it a ...
A. 23 February 2011: Even after he blatantly admits that he's soliciting sex from someone else, he refuses to stop doing it. This is extremely disrespectful to you and to your marriage. You're right that he does not care how much he hurts you.
The question is WHY d... (read in full...)
He left me for another woman while I was pregnant. I need advice. Has this happened to others?
Q. I feel like am going through an emotional hell just now and any advice would be welcome. I am 20 weeks pregnant and my ex broke up with me just when we found out. To cut a long story short, we have had a very close friendship for over a year. We...
A. 23 February 2011: This guy would have left you anyway. He's unstable, and has a history of cheating. He's just not life-partner material. Not everyone is. You have idealized him and made him out in your mind to be someone he really isn't. Don't waste any more of your ... (read in full...)
Is it worth leaving my job and friends to go back to my boyfriend and a rocky relationship?
Q. My partner and I have been together for 4 yrs. 9 months ago we broke up and i moved overseas. after leaving, he realised he misses me and would do anything to get me back and after a few weeks i decided to give it another go. Firstly i was VERY unh...
A. 21 February 2011: No I don't think it's worth it.
You say you love being where you are now.
You say that with him, you're frequently disappointed and upset.
And now you also feel guilty because he has cleaned up his act somewhat so you feel you "should" be... (read in full...)
My wife who is separated from me is now engaged to her ex...while we're technically still married!
Q. Well my wife and I been seperated for 8 months now. I still love her with all my heart. We have 1 child together which is 3 years old. Just recently she anounced that she is engaged to her x boyfriend that she dated twice in the past. The problem is ...
A. 21 February 2011: I think you should move on, it's clear that she doesn't want to be with you. Unfortunately you can't make someone want you. she has her reasons, and the healthiest thing for you is to accept that and get on with your life. In time you will get over ... (read in full...)
He's not ready for a relationship but he's sending mixed signals!
Q. The question is: "Does It Sound Serious?" I've written to you before and asked for advice on if I should stick it out and wait. You and one other told me to wait. Another told me to dump him. I've decided to wait and so far I'm glad I did. My guy ...
A. 21 February 2011: he should make up his mind if this has gone on for awhile, it's not fair to you. But if you're unable to walk away from him and would rather endure this limbo than not have him in your life, then he has you right where he wants and there will be no ... (read in full...)
Please help me, have I lost my mum and dad?
Q. Hi, I am really quite down and need some advice regarding the relationship with my parents. My parents came to spend xmas with me in Germany and it was difficult work having them with me, my dad is one of these people who has to be doing somet...
A. 21 February 2011: Don't give in if you feel you are being manipulated (which you obviously do). every time you give in to manipulation, it reinforces to them that this tactic works to get what they want. In other words, if you give in this time, you can bet your ... (read in full...)
I miss her everyday and want nothing more than be a family again
Q. I've been in love with my xwife for over 3 years. We are divorced. When I try to come forward she says Im crazy or scewed up. she wants nothing with me. We have a child of 3 years old together. I miss her everyday and want nothing more than be a ...
A. 21 February 2011: You need to move on. You are divorced and she wants nothing to do with you, for whatever reason. Not to judge you since I don't know you, but you may not have ever beat her but you probably did do something really bad to hurt her in the past to make ... (read in full...)
Husband isn't sure he can give up his "friendship" with woman he had an affair with!
Q. I discovered by husband was having an affair nearly two years ago. It nearly destroyed me and our marriage. He admitted he was in love with the other woman and was going to leave me for her. In the end we worked through it (or so I thought). For 6 ...
A. 21 February 2011: You've asked him yet again about the other woman and again he gives another non-answer which is basically saying yes he's still seeing her. He either has blatant disrespect for your marriage and you, which is a horrible way to live being married to ... (read in full...)
My husband is too close to a girl at work. So why am I being painted as the 'bad guy' in all this?
Q. So I have a problem. My husband has this girl at work who likes him. He admits now that she has a crush on him, and that they flirt. I found out about her a few months ago, and the fact that he had been having lunch with her (and sometimes s...
A. 21 February 2011: in light of your other details, I think now that this female friend is not the real problem. the real problem is that your husband has zero respect for you. No wonder he has complete disregard for your feelings, it's because he feels so contemptuous ... (read in full...)
My friend seems to consume every last bit of my energy and when I leave her I always feel depressed. How can I back away from her without her noticing and calling me out on it?
Q. I have a childhood friend who is is making me feel bad about myself. We started out being friends from around the age of 12 and we are both in our late 20s now. We werent so close for a few years while we lived in different cities for college. In ...
A. 20 February 2011: Can you make yourself less available, like say you have other prior commitments, like your job has changed and you have to work different hours, or you've taken up new activities or something similar?
Does she demand that you spend a lot of time ... (read in full...)
Husband of 12 years admitted to an affair and a child
Q. my husband of 12 years have an affair. i confronted him and he admitted. he have a child there. this is the worst thing. he asked for forgiveness from me. i love his so deeply and i want him back and lead a happy family life with our only son who is ...
A. 20 February 2011: I suggest you leave him. If your husband had an affair, that means there was already huge problems in the marriage which are pre-existing and still there.
but now on top of that there's the actual affair and that betrayal. Your husband didn't t... (read in full...)
My husband is too close to a girl at work. So why am I being painted as the 'bad guy' in all this?
Q. So I have a problem. My husband has this girl at work who likes him. He admits now that she has a crush on him, and that they flirt. I found out about her a few months ago, and the fact that he had been having lunch with her (and sometimes s...
A. 20 February 2011: I think you should try to work on your relationship with your husband. try and bring back a sense of closeness. Set aside the issue of this female friend of his, and just concentrate on rebuilding your relationship.
the point is that you can't fo... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is possessive and mean to me. Now he has told me about a woman he finds attractive. Is it time for me to move on?
Q. Hello, My boyfriend and I have been together a long time, around 3 years. He's always said "I'm it" he wants to marry me, etc. However, his actions speak differently. He put a deposit down on a ring, but later got a refund, which hurt immensel...
A. 20 February 2011: Yes it is time to walk out.
he has always had completely disrespect for you, and it is getting worse and worse.
... (read in full...)
I love him but I hate his guts!
Q. My ex-boyfriend damaged me. I have not moved on. I cried day in and day out behind the dirty way he dumped with a phone call at two in the morning telling me we were over and that he had moved in with his ex that previous day. There's no need to ...
A. 19 February 2011: You do NOT love him. You are just emotionally attached to the relationship and to how it felt to be with him before he left you. You are holding on to a past that can never be reclaimed because he forever changed things.
Let your feelings... (read in full...)
Filled with guilt and heartache...
Q. Well i have a major problem and would love any help or input. I have been married for 14 years next month and i suffer from bi polar so i am not easy to live with but my husband puts up with me and i have slowly pushed him away emotionaly, not ...
A. 19 February 2011: Both of you have really hurt each other, maybe beyond repair. He put up with your bipolar issues when you pushed him away. Maybe he shouldn't have, because in so doing he disengaged from the marriage and started an affair with more than just one ... (read in full...)
He's unmotivated, unemployed and I'm feeling emotionally detached from him. Should I break up with him?
Q. Hi everyone, I need some advise. I am 23 years old and I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 2 years now. He is such an amazing man. I have never been treated so well in a relationship. We do EVERYTHING together. If we are not working or in ...
A. 19 February 2011: I think you know that you should break up with him unless one or both of you undergoes a major personality change.
When it no longer feels right to say "I love you", that's a pretty telling sign...
a relationship can be worked through some iss... (read in full...)
I broke her heart and now I have to fix it because I love her
Q. Ii I'm having a hard time coming to grips with why my ex-girlfriend is treating me so bad and won't speak to me anymore. Grant it, I broke it off because I cheated on her to be with my first love which by the way didn't work out. I've done ...
A. 19 February 2011: You can't fix someone else's heart for them after you have betrayed them. At this point you need to leave her alone, give her space, and respect her feelings which right now are very negative toward you. You need to accept that this is how she ... (read in full...)
Husband isn't sure he can give up his "friendship" with woman he had an affair with!
Q. I discovered by husband was having an affair nearly two years ago. It nearly destroyed me and our marriage. He admitted he was in love with the other woman and was going to leave me for her. In the end we worked through it (or so I thought). For 6 ...
A. 18 February 2011: You asked 'Should I end the marriage or accept their friendship (if that is what it is)?"
The big question is CAN you accept their "friendship"? Is that even feasible? Really ask if your truly accepting their friendship is even a viable option o... (read in full...)
Husband says he loves me and that should be enough!
Q. I have been trying different things in my marriage to make things better and I am tired and just do not want to deal with more rejection from him, so what do I do? Here is a little info on our relationship... We have been together for 6 years and ...
A. 18 February 2011: you sound very self-aware, which is good. Maybe you could see a counselor to help you decide what to do.
I understand that you are not just hurt but also confused because he wasn't always like this. it's not fair to marry someone under false pr... (read in full...)
Why DOESN’T my boyfriend take issue with anything I do?
Q. *Dave is great. We’ve been together for two years, and we’ve had a pretty smooth ride so far. He’s my first guy, and I’m thankful for the relationship I have with him. I love him dearly, and definitely see more years by his side. What stumps me, ...
A. 18 February 2011: well no one here can know if you're over-reactive or not since we don't know you (you could ask your friends and family or your ex's if you're on good terms with them)....so assuming that you're not, it sounds like he's conflict-avoidant, or else ... (read in full...)
Is there any way that I can save this relationship? I've really messed up...
Q. I really messed up and I need some advice. I have been with my boyfriend a little over a year. We have a 2 month old son and are very much in love. I have never cheated on him or even thought about cheating on him since the day I met him. We had ...
A. 18 February 2011: If he's willing to save the relationship you could try couples counseling, but if he's adamant about never forgiving you then there's nothing you can do and you just have to accept that. Why not see a counselor for yourself, to help you cope with ... (read in full...)
Husband says he loves me and that should be enough!
Q. I have been trying different things in my marriage to make things better and I am tired and just do not want to deal with more rejection from him, so what do I do? Here is a little info on our relationship... We have been together for 6 years and ...
A. 18 February 2011: He sounds, to put it bluntly, totally selfish and uninterested in you as a person and in this relationship.
Maybe you two just have very different ideas of what marriage should be, and very different needs for the marriage. You obviously want and... (read in full...)
If he truly wanted out wouldn't he use this as his out???
Q. I have been involved in a relationship for 17 months with the most amazing man. We talk daily, see each other minimum of once a week and I'm totally head over heals for him. Here's the issue, 3 moths ago I discovered he is married. He admitted to ...
A. 18 February 2011: this man is a proven liar. You've been dating him for 17 months yet only 3 months ago did you find out he was married??
and it's not because he willingly decided to tell you (even though that too would be a big red flag if he waited 14 months t... (read in full...)
I'm trying so hard to change myself and do everything she's asked, but I feel like it's not good enough. What should I do?
Q. So I've dated this girl P for 5 years. We dated for 3 years, got engaged 2 years ago and had planned our wedding. We did have some problems mostly my family and P didn't get along. In addition we did have some personality conflicts (I'm stubborn and ...
A. 17 February 2011: this may not be what you want to hear, but I think you should leave her and move on with your life.
There's a lot of things coming between you two - your family and her family both seem to have a lot of control over you both. A relation... (read in full...)
How do I get over a guy I see five days a week at work?
Q. I'm 18 and head over heels in love with a co worker (24yrs old). We used to be really close friends, going out to the pub on lunch breaks always giggling and chatting - two great personality matches, it was perfect. He is a flirt, not just with me ...
A. 17 February 2011: "he says he's happy but I don't know if he is just comfortable and settled or of he daren't take the risk of leaving her and would be bothered about what our colleagues think."
It shouldn't matter to you what he's thinking or how his relation... (read in full...)
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