A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend has genital herpes and now the fun beginning part of our relationship is over, I'm starting to think I'm missing out. I enjoy sex without a condom, obviously we can't do this, and I also love the intimacy of just making love whenever and wherever but we can't do this either. We can't even have a bath or something together, as we're very careful I don't catch it! I know lot's of people have to use condoms but I suppose I'm resentful because I feel he's making his problem mine through all this? What do you think?
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female
reader, willywombat +, writes (15 February 2007):
 Oh and a vaccine to help prevent the spread of HPV.
A
female
reader, willywombat +, writes (12 February 2007):
There are NO treatments that 'cure' HSV. There are however treatments which will shorten the duration of an attck. If this is very new research I would like to know about it...this is not (by the way) me being sarcastic!! I would really like to know more!!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2007): Actually this is EVERYONE's "problem." There are several potential treatments taht if just funded for the short term will result in a cure for herpes 9just like there has been for HPV). At least your boyfriend cares enough about you to TELL you that he has H - most guys would not bother - I think that's a sign of how good a companion he will be.
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A
female
reader, willywombat +, writes (12 February 2007):
PLUS.....
You are greater risk from viral encephalitis during an attack of HSV, I think iot is during the first attack....but NOT a 100% sure. Will find out and get back to you.
In other words, please don't risk your health!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2007): You are very lucky that your boyfriend has been honest with you and is trying to protect you. 80% of people with genital herpes don't know they have it, so you could have been involved with one of them, and since 'safe sex' doesn't appear important to you, you could have easily been exposed to herpes unknowingly (not to mention whatever esle either of yo might be carrying).
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A
male
reader, maxsteel86 +, writes (11 February 2007):
 To go your own way I meant
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A
male
reader, maxsteel86 +, writes (11 February 2007):
Do you want a future with him? Can you see one with him? If not, then you already know how this relationship will end. And lets not forget, technically he did make this herpes thing your problem (condoms have been around for 100s of years. I'm pretty sure he didn't get the herpes before the days of the condoms!:-P) sure he's trying to prevent you from getting this thing. But just ask yourself, how much longer can you tolerate all these restrcitions? If you can manage permanently, then great cos no one gets hurt. But if you cant, it'll be hard but fair on you both
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A
female
reader, melschatbox  +, writes (11 February 2007):
 Well, it is your problem as it is his. That's the way all sexual relations should be thought as. IF he would have kept this to himself and infected you...you would be writing us another question ..more like "how could he not tell me"! He's doing the responsible and honorable thing...If you cant' handle the Herpes...(and, that's fair..you don't have to) then stop having sex with him. Then you won't be bothered w/condoms etc. Something I'm sure your b/f is kicking himself over now...he should have used condoms. Anyway...you know your choices...suck it up and act like a big girl.
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (11 February 2007):
 Then I guess you have to make a choice.... do you stay with this amazing guy who you love lots and who obviously cares about you with all the measures he's taking to make sure that the herpes remains his problem and not yours or do you break up with him and move onto some random guy just for the pleasure of being able to have random sex? I guess for me the choice would be obvious but I can't speak for you.
CD
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A
female
reader, willywombat +, writes (11 February 2007):
This guy is looking after your sexual health even if you don't think it is very important, and for that you should be thanking him!! NOT complaining about having to use condoms.
have you the slightest idea of how painful an acute attack of genital herpes can be? Have you ever had a cold sore? Well think about having cold sores all over your genitals, not being able to pee or sit down properly, nerve pain etc. Please go and read up on this and get an idea of what your obviously caring and loving boyfriend is trying to protect you from.
Genital herpes can cause recurrent painful genital sores in many adults, and herpes infection can be severe in people with suppressed immune systems. Regardless of severity of symptoms, genital herpes frequently causes psychological distress in people who know they are infected.
In addition, genital HSV can cause potentially fatal infections in babies. It is important that women avoid contracting herpes during pregnancy because a first episode during pregnancy causes a greater risk of transmission to the baby. If a woman has active genital herpes at delivery, a caesarean delivery is usually performed.
Herpes may also play a role in the spread of HIV, the virus that causes AIDS. Herpes can make people more susceptible to HIV infection, and it can make HIV-infected individuals more infectious. Using condoms is one way to attempt to prevent the spread of STD's and pregnancy. To try to persuade your BF to not use them would be playing with your health. Fancy a game of Russian roulette? Because that is the game you will be playing if you chose to make love without a condom and he is infected.
The surest way to avoid catching genital herpes, is to abstain from sexual contact, or to be in a long-term mutually monogamous relationship with a partner who has been tested and is known to be uninfected.
Herpes can occur in both male and female genital areas that are covered or protected by condoms, as well as in areas that are not covered. Correct and consistent use of latex condoms can reduce the risk of genital herpes only when the infected area or site of potential exposure is protected. Since a condom may not cover all infected areas, even correct and consistent use of latex condoms cannot guarantee protection from genital herpes.
If your BF is having an acute episode of herpes you should abstain from sexual activity with uninfected partners!!
*** It is important to know that even if a person does not have any symptoms he or she can still infect sex partners.***
Stop being a fool with your sexual health. Continue to use condoms!!
http://www.cdc.gov/std/Herpes/default.htm
http://www.niaid.nih.gov/factsheets/stdherp.htm
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