| A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I am a single guy and have formed a habit of visualizing having sex with some girls i find attractive. I mimic it in my mind and masturbate. This has been a source of my pleasure in absence of real sex. Now i am planning to have a committed relationship with a girl. My question is, is it wrong to get attracted to some other girl once you are in a committed relationship or visualize having sex with her. Most would probably not find any problems with it unless i am not having an affair or betraying my girl. But the question is more to do with emotions. I have a belief that even looking at other women with a sexual interest would be detrimental.Do i loose the interest in my partner, the more i fantasize about others or take some interest in external beauties? I mean there will be a sense of disappointment resulting from comparison that occupies the mind, is this true?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2007): No, it's definitely not wrong.
I think of my Sister in law when I am licking and having initial intercourse with my gf.
With that said, keep THINKING!!
A
female
reader, vina_101  +, writes (10 February 2007):
 Ok well it is your mind and it is your imagination, therefore you control it. Your girfriend doesn't know what you are thinking and what she doesn't know won't hurt her.
However...if she could read your mind and if she was aware of your thoughts of other women then I can almost gaurantee that she would be hurt by it. And for that reason it is wrong.
But like I said before what she doesn't know will not hurt her. Let me ask you this, would you mind if your girlfriend was thinking about other men while having sex with you? For instance if she called out some other guys name while having sex with you. Would it bother you at all? If not then I admire your confidence but if it would bother you then do you see what I mean when I say it is not right?
Yes I do believe that you may loose interest in her if you let the fantasies take over your mind, you will be so caught up in the imaginary world that you will no longer be satisfied with the girlfriend you have in the real world. Now don't get me wrong here, I am not condeming you at all because I have been in your exact situation before but I'm just trying to get you to look at it in a different way.
In my view, when you're alone and masturbating then fantasisng is not so bad but when you're with your girlfriend then its not really the done thing. Fantasising about other woomen while having sex with your girlfriend shows to some degree that you are not entirely satisfied with her and maybe you'd prefer someone else over her. Your girlfriend would interpret your fantasies in this negative way and she would be hurt.
But luckily for you, she is not psychic! lol. I wouldn't encourage you to keep fantasisng but you're not directly hurting anyone so its not so bad. As long as the fantasies don't become a reality then there shouldn't be a problem.
By the way, under NO circumstances should you tell her about this! lol
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2007): The occasional fantasy or visualising is ok but this sounds like it is going too far.I wouldnt like my man to be imagining someone else when he is with me.
Obviously you will find others attractive but to compare your girlfriend to other women and how you imagine their bodies and how they would be in bed will just lead to disappointment. How can she live up to your fantasies?
Live in the real world with your real girlfriend, not in a fantasy.
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (10 February 2007):
 No it's not wrong but I wouldn't tell your girlfriend you're doing it and obviously be very careful if you're the kind of guy who shouts out your girl's name during sex. If this tactic keeps you faithful to your girlfriend then you should absolutely carry on!
CD
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A
female
reader, here_2_help +, writes (10 February 2007):
 god no its so not wrong. women often think about someone they fancy when having sex.it is a good part of sex life to have strong fantasies its normal and natural. its only when you fantasies turn to reality you have a problem otherwise your in the clear.hope this helps xx
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