A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:How do you move on from a broken heart when you don't even have the desire to find anyone new?It's been 3 and a half years since my last serious relationship ended and even though I've been with more women since then than in the whole rest of my life put together I can't find anyone that is even in the same atmosphere as my ex.She's moved on, about a week after we broke up she started dating a friend of hers (who clearly had a crush on her while we'd been dating) and she is still with him. I try not to look at her facebook and I try not to keep in touch with her at all. For the most part I'm successful in that. I haven't spoken to her in years and I only happen upon her social media when I have moments of weakness, but even then it's just a cursory glance.But even still, when I think about intimacy, when I think about caring about someone, she is still the end all be all. I've never felt closer to another human being in my entire life and it makes me sick to think about.The more I date the more I realize that I don't really care for random sex, I don't really enjoy casual dating, and I don't want a relationship just so I can have one. I miss intimacy. I miss caring about someone so much that I'd do anything for them. I miss being with someone and FEELING that they're in love with me and that they enjoy just being around me.I can't seem to shake these feelings and all it does is cause more and more heartache. I haven't been able to find a girl I'm even willing to call my girlfriend since her (even though I've had more than one girl fall for me since).How can I move on? How can I shed this pain when every time I think of being really happy the only things that come to mind are memories of her? How do I get over her?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2013): For what its worth, you are not alone. I'll see your 3 years, and raise you 4 more. That's right, 7 years on this end. I have been going through the same thing you have been. The only thing that has worked for me is complete cut off of communication of any kind. I tried just going with Facebook, but that would just make me feel worse. So, block her from FB so not to stir up any more feelings that you may have.
Hard? Absolutely. Especially when it's something you did not want. But, if you are out there dating, meeting new people, don't give up on it. You will find that one that will make you forget Her.
There is no need to beat yourself up. Hard as it is, it wasn't meant to be. THE ONE is out there. You will find her.
DON'T GIVE UP!!!!
Good Luck. To both us.
A
female
reader, Brokenv  +, writes (20 August 2013):
I think you are sweet. I think you put a lot of weight into your relationship with your ex.
Having a broken heart it terrible. It is like their is an empty space in our hearts that only she(he) can fill.
You have to stop having random sex/relationships. You need to wait for that connection with someone. She is out there for you but you need to open yourself up to see that. You maybe closing yourself off due to your emotions for the other girl. It all takes time.
I would delete her from facebook. Just having her on there for you to view is like opening a wound again....again. Sometimes having to see/hear about/hang around mutual friends is tough.
It is up to you to move on and move forward. You are wasting your time. There is so much out there for you. Take it on!!!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2013): You have to carry on dating and give other people a chance. I've had two relationships in the past, much shorter than your though that the same as happened to me. They have finished with me and immediately a 'good friend' takes my place. It's hard!
To be honest, it's a very tough thing to do, but delete her as a friend. Seeing the odd status update as though she is enjoying life and your stuck pining after her does not help and you will feel shit for longer.
All certain things about your ex that you may love, like her giggle, or the way she behaves and does certain things or whatever probably are unique to her. But, there are things to discover about new people that you don't even know about that you will love. Keep going and give others a chance! :-)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2013): Hi. I.m sorry you feel like that. I think you need to get it out of your system once and for all. Write her a private message on facebook,and tell her how you still feel. Tell her you know she.s in a relationship,and you hope you.re not laying it on her,but for keep sake,u had to tell her. Don.t wait for an answer. It doesn.t matter. What matters is that you finally close this chapter for yourself,and and by being really honest you will do that. Good luck. Let me know what happens. X
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2013): its just your imagination.
you guys are not programmed to behave as if your in love with a girl.
because most guys doesn't know the word love and they just forget girls after 5 mins. they have met them.
So i still stick to what i have said.
its just your silly imagination
But in case your really in love,
i suggest you read my article. maybe it will help you.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/-forget--someone-you-love--the.html
Good luck.
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