A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I met a guy a few months ago. He started texting me me a short while after. Our texts became pretty steamy. But he seems to go hot and cold. He says he wants to meet up. Three attempts have been made and he chickens out. Late Friday night he texted me telling me he wanted to see me Saturday and he could pick me up. He made it clear what he wanted and I was the same. I had made other plans to see family so said no. I had made plans but later in the day so could possibly see him that morning as he had suggested. i suppose I thought he would mess me about and that was the real reason I said no.Saturday morning he messages me saying he wants to see me (he is going to do a quote for a job) and said i could go with him. i was surprised as we had messaged until 3am and his text actually woke me up. I said yes and got ready to meet him. I arrive at our meeting place as we were going in his van and he sends a message saying sorry he's bottled out of seeing me!! He has kids but hes not with their mother. He even swore on his kids lives Friday night that he would see me Saturday so I believed him. I don't understand him. I'm not in a relationship and as far as I know he isn't. He tells me in texts what he wants to do to me explicitly and we both fancy each other like mad. So why this?After the last text saying he bottled out and couldn't see me and had made part of the short journey to pick me up I told him not to ever contact me again. I'm puzzled to be honest. Why message me that morning, I didn't expect it so why? He tells me I look fantastic and always wants me to send nude pics but I don't. He asks me if I want to see nude pics of him and I said yes, so he has sent some. So he can't be shy about meeting me surely when I've seen parts of him naked! Do you think this is some kind of weird wind up?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (19 August 2013):
 I dont' much care why he's doing it.. but he is doing it and he's jerking your chain.
NOT only would I NOT meet him or suggest meeting him
I would only take texts or calls between 7 am and 11 pm and NOTHING gets responded to after that.
any meeting requests is met with NO
he'll disappear on his own... stop being a playtoy.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2013): I'm the OP of this post.
I'm convinced that he's with someone now. He's definitely not married though. As for him being shy, I can see why people would think that strange with him sending the pics he has.
Yes we've met and he did seem shy around me funnily enough but only after the texts started. Before that he was funny as in a laugh. . The first few times I saw him I didn't take much notice of him. Just chatted.
I've only seen him once since the texting started and he seemed eager to get away from me. I texted him the following evening and he said I looked gorgeous when he saw me and he felt he had embarrassed himself by revealing how he felt in those texts but slso wished he hadnt left and had kissed me. Then the texts became really intimate and have continued to do so with him begging me to send nude pics etc.
I'm thinking also what kind of person would swear on his kids lives that he will do something?? And then not follow through...weird!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (19 August 2013):
 to A male reader, human_male
Do you think a REALLY shy guy would send dick shots and THEN cancel a lot? Makes no sense.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (19 August 2013):
 Call him up and ask him:
'Why do you keep dropping me when we agree to meet up?'
Just ask him, or are you scared it will chase him off?
Something fishy going on here and just because he's messaging you at 3am, it doesn't mean he isn't involved with anyone else. He may be in a relationship with someone who does night shifts...like a nurse.
You are pinning your hopes on a loser!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2013): Sounds to me more like a catfish than someone being in a relationship. How much of him have you actually seen and can you be sure it's him? Do you have proof that he is who he claims he is? I think he might be scared to reveal himself, even though he wants to see you, which is why he backs out last minute.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2013): I think he's either involved with someone else or he is 'all talk and no action' as it were. It's easy to be a sexual stud via text message, but in reality things can be quite different. Basically, he could have psyched himself out.
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A
male
reader, human_male  +, writes (18 August 2013):
 Have you ever met in person? I see everyone has jumped on the he's married bandwagon, and it's a possibility. But I think it's certainly possible he might be shy about meeting. He might have anxiety issues and it would be a big step for someone like that to meet for the first time, even if you've sent photos.
Have you spoken on the phone before? You might tell him you want to do that and see what he says. If he is reluctant to talk, but it willing to text at all hours to me it suggests anxiety.
But it's moot anyway since you've told him not to contact you again. If you're finding his behavior really difficult to deal with it's probably for the best.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (18 August 2013):
He has someone. Only real reason I can see as to why he would cancel over and over.
He WANTS to cheat, but he doesn't want to get caught.
I'd say toss this one back in the pond.
Find someone, get to KNOW them (and I don't mean through sexy/smexcy texting, but go out on dates, DO stuff together.)that way you will have a better chance at seeing someone you KNOW for a fact is single.
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A
female
reader, Brokenv  +, writes (18 August 2013):
He is involved with someone....maybe his wife or a new girlfriend. Don't waste your time.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (18 August 2013):
 You sre "flirting" with BIG trouble(Anthony Wiener type trouble. change your phone number and run!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2013): I am the OP of this question.
I thought that about him being in a relationship. But on numerous times I've messaged him and vice versa. Our texts have always gone on till about 3am. He is clearly alone in bed as well from the pics he has sent me. I know he has definitely divorced his wife as I know someone who knows him and they split when the kids were quite young and she has since remarried. His kids are 18,15 and 10 and they live with their mother but stay with him also.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2013): I suspect you might be involved with a married man. If he keeps backing out, it's safe to assume it's because he has family responsibilities. Listen to your gut on this one.
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