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I've been replying to problems for quite a while now and hope Ive helped make a difference in some way. Mostly I prefer answering questions relating to health and sex, as I feel these are the most important and I have a bit of background knowledge that I hope will be useful to others.
I tend not to answer questions I feel I'm not qualified to answer and put most of my energy into the ones I feel I am.
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| Latest articles: Unprotected Sex....never worth it!
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
2 September 2008: Almost every day it seems there is a post that pops up from someone who has had unprotected sex and is worried about the possibility of being pregnant or having caught a sexually tranmitted infection. Alot of the time, this is due to them being pr...
Teacher - Student Relations (Article)
This question has 9 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 May 2008: As an avid subject on Dear cupid I felt compelled to write an article on teacher and student relations and what becomes of them. Most of us has at one point been attracted to a teacher, whether it be that young fit sport teacher or that slightly...
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He hates my whole past...so why does he say he loves me?
Q. My boyfriend dislikes my past... actually hates it. He just hates every aspect of it, he hates every guy I kissed, every guy I liked, every guy who liked me... he even dislikes some of my classmates just because we were good friends and used to hug. ...
A. 7 June 2008: You've done nothing to be ashamed of, everyone has a past and yours dosent seem like a bad one.
He should be able to accept this as your past, not your present.
You must be firm and tell him whats done is done and if he isnt happy then you must rec... (read in full...)
I have some spots 'down below', what could this be?
Q. I don't really know how to put this nicely but ive got spots 'down below' and i donn't have a clue what it could be - maybe something to do with the heat ???...
A. 7 June 2008: I cant think of any STD that causes just spots.
As the other aunt previously said, shaving can cause indgrowing hairs which look like spots, they will eventually go once the hair has grown back.
The heat may also be the cause- keep cool, where co... (read in full...)
He likes me.. he likes me not.. what do you think?
Q. Need both a girl's view and a boy's view on this. I've known this boy for about 9 years and we were friends for about 8. Im 14 and he is 15. For the last 2 years i've fancied him. He found out last year (about September) and after that he sto...
A. 7 June 2008: Welcome to the confusing world of dating. Unfortunately this probably wont be the last time a man will confuse you.
This situation has been going on for a while so its best you know where you stand as soon as you can.
He could have meant what he ... (read in full...)
I'm having sex with my best friend but he doesn't want a relationship. Should I end the friendship?
Q. im in love with my guy best friend, we have a sex relationship, i dont want just that, he dosent want to be in a relationship right now. should i end our friendship for good?...
A. 7 June 2008: It would be a shame to lose a frienship over this. Don't end your friendship- end your 'no strings relationship.'
If it carries on you will eventually feel used and end up hurt.
IF he is a true friend, he'll accept sex is off limits and your fri... (read in full...)
I blocked him on facebook but I'm still worried about my safety! Should I notify the police?
Q. alright so there's this boy who was really socially awkward so I tried to talk to him every now and then to help him out of it. Then he asks me out through facebook so I say that I'm not interested but he hunts me down and tells me in person, I tell ...
A. 7 June 2008: It seems this boy isnt used to attention, so isnt sure how to handle someone being nice to him.
You made the right decision cutting contact with him. If all his messages and poems have been fairly innocent then give him the benefit of the doub... (read in full...)
I feel really abnormal because I have never been kissed! I'm 15.
Q. Ok, so Im 15 - 16 in a few months time - and Ive only ever had 1 boyfriend and never been kissed. All my friends have got boyfriends or have had them in the last year and all of them, with the exception of 1, have been kissed, so I feel really ...
A. 7 June 2008: You should be proud of yourself! Nowadays there are so many girls who go and have unprotected sex and all sorts. The fact you havent kissed anyone, makes you a very respectable person. It may not feel like it now, but in another ten years you'll... (read in full...)
I need both guys and girls points of view!
Q. I need both guys and girls points of view! Basically,I am 14 and have given and recieved oral and today at school i stupidley let it slip. None of my friends have even given a hand job. i am very old in my year (year 9)as my b'day is in sep and wi...
A. 7 June 2008: I think everybodys said more than they meant to at some point!
So, your the first in your year, but somebody has to be the first.
Learn from this and make sure your private life is private, between you and your partner.
As long as your careful... (read in full...)
Is it over? What should I do?
Q. Hey, Im 16 and ive been in love with this girl for almost 2 years now. She gives me so many signs that she loves me and then so many that she doesnt. Well last night I told her everything and she didnt really care at all but I was so sure that she ...
A. 6 June 2008: Sometimes when we become infactuated with somebody, we search for signals they feel the same way, without even knowing.
Its good that she accepted your feelings but if she dosnet feel the same way there isnt much you can do.
It may feel like she... (read in full...)
What are the first signs of pregnancy - in the first days / weeks?
Q. what are the first signs of being pregnant? an i mean literally in the first few days or weeks!!...
A. 6 June 2008: You wont experience anything in the first few days, but early symptoms may be tender breasts and nausea, especially in the morning.
A test will read accurately after only 2/3 weeks so if you're worried, it would be a good idea. You can buy them from... (read in full...)
Are these signs of pregnancy by any chance?
Q. My last period was on 15 may and lasted for 5 days. I had unprotected sex on 27 May. Yesterday I noticed spotting of blood in my knickers, and slight spotting today as well. My left breast is very sore. I am not due on for another 9 days, but could ...
A. 6 June 2008: Its hard to give a clear reason for the spotting.
If you had sex on the 27th of May, then you would be close to ovulating, which would increase you're chances of becoming pregnant slightly.
It could just be you're body messing about, as they see... (read in full...)
Why do they ejaculate on my belly? Is this normal?
Q. I am on the pill and recently started having sex. Even though I am supposed to be safe, the boys I've been with still pull out and ejaculate on my belly. My friend tells me all guys like to do this. Is this normal? Is it necessary at all?...
A. 2 June 2008: Well I havent come across anyone doing this to me before lol but when it comes to sex there isnt really a right and wrong way of doing anything.
If you don't like it, tell them not to, other than that I cant really see a problem with it.
xxx... (read in full...)
Just found out my ex is going to be a dad, I'm gutted and regret that we ever broke up!
Q. I went out with a guy for about 13 months about 3 years ago but i finished it, i was kinda pushed into it with everyone telling me i shud be single at my age (17) so i never really fell out of love and we have kissed a few times since but we always ...
A. 2 June 2008: I think anyone in your position would find it difficult. But this is your big chance to move on and meet other people. You've spent so much time thinking about him and this has stopped you focusing on yourself and other relationships. It may be ... (read in full...)
The problem with my bff is that I want to go out with him! Help!
Q. i really love my best friend. he is so cute, he's sweet and i'd totally go out with him. except he doesn't like me back. he did once, but now he acts like i'm his sister. i don't know what i should say or feel. can anyone help me here?...
A. 2 June 2008: You have a great friendship, it would be a shame to ruin it otherwise. Stay friends and wait and see if he changes his mind in time.
x... (read in full...)
Do you think my wanting a baby is a good idea?
Q. Hi im 13 and really wnat to have a baby i know im young but i could handle it my sister had a baby at 16 and she is an amazing mom i wanted to know if you think this is a good idea or not?...
A. 2 June 2008: I think you know what answers you're going to get here!
Its normal to get maternal but please think about what it wouldmean. You'd have to give up your education, you wouldnt be able to be live a normal teenage life, no partying.
You should b... (read in full...)
Attempted sex with a new person for the first time in 2 years, and it hurt. Is it menopause or nervousness? Any idea?
Q. Hope someone can help. I broke up with my boyfriend about two years ago. I have messed aroung with a few guys from time to time since then but have not gone all the way. Well, I tried to go all the way with someone a couple of nights ago and it ...
A. 31 May 2008: If you havent had sex in a while then it isnt suprising that it wasnt comfortable.
It could just be you werent fully aroused and needed more time on foreplay. It may also be, as you say, being nervous as this will tense your body up.
Vagin... (read in full...)
He's going to Peru for a year, should I wait for him or not?
Q. well my boyfriend is going to peru for a year becuase he needs to learn better spanish (he's hispanic) and his grandmother is sick or something. im 13 and weve been together for 4 months now. i dont know if i can wait for him like that. cuz im going ...
A. 29 May 2008: Ah this is a difficult time for you.
No-one knows what the future holds so dont make any quick assumptions.
Stay in touch with this boy and agree to be friends.
When he comes home, you can then re-address the sitauation and see if you both fee... (read in full...)
Talking about sex embarrasses me, any advice?
Q. hi im in my late 20s and have been in a relationship for the past three years but when im out with the lads and any talk of sex comes up anything at all relating to the subject i get really embarrassed and my face turns bright red i also ge...
A. 29 May 2008: Simply, some people just arent very comfortable talking about sex in public.
Maybe you had a strict upbringing where sex was a taboo subject?
If you dont want to talk about it, you dont have to. It dosent make you any less a person.
If you wa... (read in full...)
I love her but my friends think she is ugly, shall I go out with her or leave it?
Q. I love a girl and im 90% sure she fancies me. All my friends are friends with her but they think she is ugly. If i go out with her they will probably take the piss. Shall I go out with her or leave it?...
A. 29 May 2008: Who cares what they think about her? They're probably jealous that she likes you and not them.
Ask her out if you like her, if they say anything nasty, just say some quick comment of 'I cant exactly see girls throwing themselves at you' or some... (read in full...)
Why does my girlfriend role play?
Q. This may seem like an odd question but it deals with the relationship I am in. My question is, why do people Role play? More specifically online role playing with other people. My girlfriend does it like routine every night and she always seems...
A. 29 May 2008: Ahh right, assumed you talking about a different type of roleplay ;)
Well I guess the escapism bit is still true, but it could just be a bit of a habit, I bet she dosent know shes even doing it half the time!
If its a problem, make a joke of it to... (read in full...)
Bi and confused!
Q. I am a 16 year old guy who is Bi. I have a Girlfriend and i have recently started seeing this guy. I dont know what to do, i know i am cheating before anyone says it, and i know i am a horrible person. But what should i do. I am very confused...
A. 29 May 2008: Either make a decision as soon as possible and let the other one down gently.
Or break up with both and clear your head before you start new relationships.
Its difficult but there isnt any other way, other than leading them both on.
x... (read in full...)
My sister cashed a check in my name, what may happen as a result?
Q. ok, my sister wrote a check in my name and she close her account but cash the check at a bank that i have a acount at. i don't want her to get in trouble but thats so wrong to sign my name and CASH it. please tell me what is going to happen...
A. 29 May 2008: I couldnt reall understand you're post properly, some more details would be useful.
Report it as fraudulent to the bank or the police. You dont have to say it was your sister. Hopefully they'll be able to stop the cheque clearing.
x... (read in full...)
Why does my girlfriend role play?
Q. This may seem like an odd question but it deals with the relationship I am in. My question is, why do people Role play? More specifically online role playing with other people. My girlfriend does it like routine every night and she always seems...
A. 29 May 2008: Its an escape, a chance to be someone else. Maybe your girlfriend feels more confident when she is in role play, as lots of other people do.
If this isnt causing any problem to your relationship, then theres nothing to worry about.
xxx... (read in full...)
"Yipee my son is going to be a womaniser". Why do they talk like that?
Q. Why is it i constantly hear women with young male children, speaking to another woman. OOOH he's a proper lad he's going to be a bit of a one with the women, then a beaming smile. Like whats this all about? Yipee my son is going to be a womaniser?...
A. 29 May 2008: I think its just another way of saying 'My sons going to be good looking and popular'
Though it would be alot more encouraging to see them saying 'my sons going to be a genius'... (read in full...)
He wants to try a new sex position. Is he bored with me?
Q. me and my partner of 9 months have only recently started to have sex. about 2 months but we use the same positions. He wants to try a new postioion does this mean he is bored? x...
A. 29 May 2008: No, hes not bored or else he wouldnt want to do it in any positions! He just wants to try new things, thats all. xxx... (read in full...)
What can I say that will get their attention and not just ignore or delete my message?
Q. I joined this online dating site a few weeks ago, and i have messaged like 6 or 7 different girls saying something like, i would love to get to know you more" and they usually read my message and never respond (it says when they read your ...
A. 29 May 2008: You havent really been messaging long enough to get worried yet!
It may just be that you havent found the right person out there.
Keep your messages short, even just 'Hi, how are you?' will break the ice.
Don't give up yet!
Good luck
xxx... (read in full...)
Teacher - Student Relations (Article)
Q. As an avid subject on Dear cupid I felt compelled to write an article on teacher and student relations and what becomes of them. Most of us has at one point been attracted to a teacher, whether it be that young fit sport teacher or that slightly...
A. 29 May 2008: Thanks for the link Tisha, I think thats the first time I've seen the situation from a teachers side of things!
Thanks for all the feedback!
xxx... (read in full...)
How can I ask her out without making myself look too 'easy?'
Q. I got to know this girl who i started texting. Over time she said she really liked me n we saw each other about. So we finally went on a date to watch a movie. We kissed n all went well. But after few weeks we was showing signs of likin someone ...
A. 28 May 2008: Do you really want to get back with someone who dumped you for someone else? She could do it again.
If you really like her, wait a while to ask her. But if I was you I'd look for someone who would treat you with more respect. You derserve bett... (read in full...)
A boy I went out with has completely bumed me out and blames it on tests... is he trying to get rid of me?
Q. Well.. A Boy That Took Me Out On A Date And That I Texted Alot Has Completely Bumed Me Out :( He Said Its Because He Has Loads Of Exams And Stuff At The Moment..But I Don't Know If He's Just Saying That To Get Rid Of Me Or Not.! And I Went To A...
A. 28 May 2008: I recently split up with my boyfriend due to my impending exams. It is a very stressful time and sometimes the best thing is to stop other commitments in order to fully concentrate.
If you like him, be patient,exam period is over by the end of June... (read in full...)
My dreams are even filled with this teacher and this love is taking over my life. What should I do??
Q. Hey guys I,m in a real situation here. I seriously need help getting over my MARRIED male teacher. It all started when I moved to this new school about two years ago. He was one of my teachers and I took an instant liking to him but then this inn...
A. 28 May 2008: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/teacher---student-relations-article.html
xxx... (read in full...)
I'm getting a little frustrated, there's nothing worse than sex with a mooshy penis! Will this get better with time?
Q. hello...i took my boyfriends virginity .... and he is having trouble getting a good hard on and lasting more than 3 min.. it has been abt 4 months now and it is still an issue ... i have tried everything alot of fore play, he went to the doctor and ...
A. 28 May 2008: It is almost definitly psychological.
It happens once = he's embarrased = is anxious next time = no erection.
A vicious cycle. The best thing you can do is tell him that it dosent matter and be understanding. Even a massage bfore you get started ... (read in full...)
Do I choose the jailbird or my boyfriend?
Q. I have a dilemma, I have had this pen pal since 1995 I was 18 at the time, we've continued writing and became like best friends, he's 9 years older than me, anyway, this past February 2008, he sent me a ring and a card asking if I'd marry him, its ...
A. 28 May 2008: Being unsure shows you arent 100% sure either of these men are the one you want to marry, which you should be if you want a happy marriage. The first man is in prison for a lengthly sentence, are you sure you would be safe with this man? You may ... (read in full...)
I think I might have an infection! Just started having sex and now have a slight stinging sensation when I pee...
Q. I suspect iI have some sort of infection in my private part. I have recently started having pleasureble sex with a guy on campus. During and after sex I become very aroused and as a result I get dripping wet! Although we always use protection and I ...
A. 28 May 2008: Its almost certainly cystitis, a very common infection in women, especially younger women, like yourself. Symptoms of cystitis include: Pain, burning or stinging sensations when passing urine. Needing to urinate frequently and urgently, but onl... (read in full...)
My husbands parents hate me and I'm pregnant, what should I do?
Q. My husbands parents hate me. His mother accused me of being a witch because I did Tarot for fun.They even offered him money not to marry me. Well we were married on June 23rd of last year, and it was wonderful. except for his parents, who even at ...
A. 27 May 2008: Don't worry, its probably not personal, some parents can just be over protective of their children. Your in-laws just want their son to be happy and in doing so are being slightly invasive.
Once you have your baby and see how protective you feel... (read in full...)
I think about blowjobs all the time!
Q. whenever i look at a girl, i just imagine getting a blowjob off her or shagging her mouth. it happens all the time and i dont know why. nothing else works for me but i just think about blow jobs all the time. especially when they are weraing shiny ...
A. 27 May 2008: Your just a normal young boy! Dont worry, you are definitly not the only one out there who feels this way.
x... (read in full...)
Do people who get engaged young have lasting relationships?
Q. Ok. i just got engaged to my bf of 3 years and many people have criticised this. so i want to ask you ppl do you think a relationship wer u fall in love in a young age and then get married wen they are older will last??? like we started goin...
A. 27 May 2008: Getting engaged at a young age probably holds more of a risk of breaking up, as younger people tend to be a bit more impulsive and are still becoming who they are.
But ofcourse they can still work, when each partner is devoted to the other. You ... (read in full...)
I give relationships my all but always end up feeling used, should I get tougher?
Q. i'm the type of lady thats stick to one guy if i care about him even if we are not in a relationship. well , i don't know how to get out of this habit. i feel stupid when i put my all into someone and they just use me because they know that i will ...
A. 27 May 2008: In a short answer- Yes.
Its nice that you put so much effort into your relationships, but unfortunately there is a great proportion of people who take advantage of it. Make sure you completely trust a partner before you let yourself fall for them... (read in full...)
My mother is hanging out with this guy all the time... what do I do?
Q. My mother hangs out with this guy all the time and my dad doesn't relly mind a lot.But i swear they are more than just friends.Like yesterday when i walked through the door they were hugging but when i walked in they walked away like nothing ...
A. 27 May 2008: I can understand your concern. Its most likely that they just share a close friendship, even if they are of a different sex.
If they acted like nothing happened, then its probably because it didnt.
Its good that you have got it off your chest an... (read in full...)
Is my guy gay?
Q. hi i really need some good advice, Ive been dating a good friend, we have been on and off for a year, nothing serious but decided 3 months ago to make a proper go of it, we get on so well and really enjoy each others company, we split up last week ...
A. 27 May 2008: He isnt neccessarily gay he could be bisexual or even just a bicurious.Alot of people experiment at some point in their lives and its likely that this was his time.
Sex addiction is an illness and he can be treated for it, look in your local phon... (read in full...)
Itchy and red around my testicles. Is this dangerous?
Q. hi im 13 now the age is wrong, but around my testicles it is very itchy and red. its been like this for 1 week. i cant tell my parents. is it dangerous? thank you ...
A. 27 May 2008: In reply to my earlier post:
Either an anti-fungal cream or Biolanyn skin cream ... (read in full...)
Whats the time span for having sex with someone else, after a break up with a boyfriend?
Q. Whats the time span for having sex with someone else, after a break up with a boyfriend. im curious? thanks! ...
A. 27 May 2008: The aunt below is right, it depends on each individual case. I remember reading some psychologists advice of waiting whatever length the relationship was. (e.g a 4 month relationship= wait 4 months) But I guess its all down to how you feel and what ... (read in full...)
Should I get a tummy tuck?
Q. I'm a plus size lady that has big tits and ass but the only thing is my stomach is also big. i've lost weight but my stomach didn't go anywhere. i don't have any problems with the guys but i want to get rid of it. should i get a tummy tuck?...
A. 27 May 2008: Well you could, but its risky and expensive. Besides it dosent sound like your short of attention!
Get down to the gym, do exercises that specifically target the stomach, crunches, abdominal trainers etc. If its possible get a coach who will be able... (read in full...)
Itchy and red around my testicles. Is this dangerous?
Q. hi im 13 now the age is wrong, but around my testicles it is very itchy and red. its been like this for 1 week. i cant tell my parents. is it dangerous? thank you ...
A. 27 May 2008: I cant think of any reason why it could be dangerous.
If its red then you may just have a skin complaint maybe from using a different soap or gel.It can be sorted out with lotion, such as camomile (always read the label to see if it can be used down... (read in full...)
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