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I've been replying to problems for quite a while now and hope Ive helped make a difference in some way. Mostly I prefer answering questions relating to health and sex, as I feel these are the most important and I have a bit of background knowledge that I hope will be useful to others.
I tend not to answer questions I feel I'm not qualified to answer and put most of my energy into the ones I feel I am.
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| Latest articles: Unprotected Sex....never worth it!
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
2 September 2008: Almost every day it seems there is a post that pops up from someone who has had unprotected sex and is worried about the possibility of being pregnant or having caught a sexually tranmitted infection. Alot of the time, this is due to them being pr...
Teacher - Student Relations (Article)
This question has 9 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 May 2008: As an avid subject on Dear cupid I felt compelled to write an article on teacher and student relations and what becomes of them. Most of us has at one point been attracted to a teacher, whether it be that young fit sport teacher or that slightly...
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Itchy and red around my testicles. Is this dangerous?
Q. hi im 13 now the age is wrong, but around my testicles it is very itchy and red. its been like this for 1 week. i cant tell my parents. is it dangerous? thank you ...
A. 27 May 2008: In reply to my earlier post:
Either an anti-fungal cream or Biolanyn skin cream ... (read in full...)
Should I get a tummy tuck?
Q. I'm a plus size lady that has big tits and ass but the only thing is my stomach is also big. i've lost weight but my stomach didn't go anywhere. i don't have any problems with the guys but i want to get rid of it. should i get a tummy tuck?...
A. 27 May 2008: Well you could, but its risky and expensive. Besides it dosent sound like your short of attention!
Get down to the gym, do exercises that specifically target the stomach, crunches, abdominal trainers etc. If its possible get a coach who will be able... (read in full...)
Met online and I don't think he has a clue how I felt
Q. I've been chatting with this guy for about 8 months on AIM who I met through a movie forum. We're both from BC but live about an hour away from each other and have never met. I like him quite a bit, but we have only chatted as friends, although I ...
A. 27 May 2008: Meeting someone in the flesh is rarely ever the same as chatting online. Someone who seems your ideal man online isnt likely to live up to your expectations in real life so you should always treat these situations with caution.
As you've said, this... (read in full...)
Itchy and red around my testicles. Is this dangerous?
Q. hi im 13 now the age is wrong, but around my testicles it is very itchy and red. its been like this for 1 week. i cant tell my parents. is it dangerous? thank you ...
A. 27 May 2008: I cant think of any reason why it could be dangerous.
If its red then you may just have a skin complaint maybe from using a different soap or gel.It can be sorted out with lotion, such as camomile (always read the label to see if it can be used down... (read in full...)
We're both virgins and ready for sex...but don't know how to initiate it...any advice?
Q. Ive been with my boyfriend for nearly 2 years now. Were both virgins and we are both ready for sex but I dont no how to start. I dont really no what ive got to do. Help. I want my first time to be special aswell but i just dont no what to do. ...
A. 27 May 2008: Its your first time, so you're right, it should be special.
Make it romantic, maybe have a nice night in together, watching a film etc and just go with what feels right. It all starts with a kiss...
x... (read in full...)
How can I overcome my fear of approaching girls?
Q. HI, im 19 im male and live in the uk. i realy want to be able to approach girls confidently and know what to say. im a good looking lad and i cant understand why im to scared to approach. i fear the girl rejecting me coz i look to young or skinny. ...
A. 27 May 2008: This a pretty common problem and nobody wants to be rejected, but you wont get anywhere without trying, as hard as it may be.
Try and build up your confidence, maybe talk to girls online. You could even join a dating website, this should help you ... (read in full...)
3 days after losing my virginity I am sore, is this normal?
Q. i lost my virginity the other day, the guy i did it with didn't use a condom. now 3 days after sex my vagina has an odour and is sore. i also bled straighy after sex. is this normal? ...
A. 27 May 2008: That all sounds pretty normal to me. You are likely to be sore for a while afterwards. And many girls bleed on their first time. The odour you've described is likely to be because the natural bacteria that lives down there has been effectively ... (read in full...)
Is it possible to be pregnant if the second line is very very faint?
Q. is it possible to be pregnant if the second line is very very faint? i took a home pregnancy test and at first i thought it was negative but there is a VERY lightly colored blue line in the results window.i even thought maybe i was seeing things or ...
A. 27 May 2008: All preganancy tests are about as effective as each other so dont worry about buying an expensive one.
Occasionally tests dont give a clear answer.
What you must do is, do another test, maybe even two to make sure.
Its best you take the test in ... (read in full...)
Please help! Could I be pregnant??
Q. right im 15 years old and female, and last night i lost my virginity. stupidly i was drunk and he didnt use a condom, but before he was about to cum he took his penis out. i am not on the pill, nor did i take the morning after pill. i am scared that ...
A. 27 May 2008: It depends where you go on whether you have to pay. A friend of mine went to Boots and they gave it her for free so that could be a good bet. x... (read in full...)
What should I do with my boyfriend's alcohol problem?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been dating for a year now. Our relationship is GREAT! We are so in love. BUT when he drinks, everything goes down hill. He just turned 21, and is now legal and I worry about what kind of trouble that may get him in. When h...
A. 27 May 2008: It sounds as if you've been understanding and have asked him to curb his drinking nicely. Which he obviously hasnt done.
Be firm, explain why you dont like it and that it upsets you. Tell him this has to stop right now and he must start being resp... (read in full...)
Am I just an obsessed teenager that magnifies and thinks about everything he does?
Q. I really like this guy and he's my best friend's step brother. I live with my best friend, her mom, and her step dad. The guy I like's name is Jack. Jack comes up every weekend from college and we talk to eachother at night for a really long time. ...
A. 27 May 2008: Well, it does sound like he likes you. Touching someones hair is a classic sign that you are close to someone.
He is quite a bit older than you though and he maybe feels the gap is a bit too big.
Flirt back, if he is interested in a relation... (read in full...)
Suggestions I've read just do NOT turn me on - maybe I just don't like it, but I might be missing the point...
Q. Hey, I'm 18. How do you turn on a girl, as in, sex-wise?! I don't really know how to kiss a girl either, like I do, but tongue or not tongue or how much tongue or what?! And what the should I do about dirty talk over the phone?! Suggestions I'...
A. 27 May 2008: I think most people find talking dirty over the phone a bit uncomfortable. If it isnt for you, then dont do it.
There isnt a wrong or right way to kiss, just do what feels right.
And last but not least, all girls are turned on my different things, ... (read in full...)
Is 15 and 21 a big age gap for a relationship?
Q. Is 15 and 21 a big age gap for a girlfriend and boyfriend relationship?...
A. 27 May 2008: Its bigger than usual but not neccessarily too big.It all depends on what you both want from a relationship. Especially as you are just shy of 16. (the minimum legal age to have sex)
I met my last boyfriend when I was 16 and he was 21 and we were... (read in full...)
She says she wants to get back together when she is ready. Do you guys think I should wait for her?
Q. Hi, Can anyone help me? Me and my girlfriend split up at the end of January as she got depressed because of her home life, and wanted a break from me as she was pushing me away, and she didn't want to hurt me. We have stayed in contact mainly thro...
A. 27 May 2008: Wait for her if:
She has made it clear she sees a future for the two of you.
You still have feelings for her.
The reasons you split up are justified.
Dont wait for her if:
You think she is just stringing you along.
Your trust in her is begi... (read in full...)
I met this guy on the internet...should I see him again and can I trust him?
Q. I am 15 year old female. I recently met up with this guy i had been talking to on the internet. I know it sounds stupid and that I shouldn't trust someone off the internet, but I really like this guy and I was wondering whether I should see him ...
A. 26 May 2008: Not everybody you meet on the internet is who they say they are so be very vigilant.
If you like this guy and got on well, the its ok to see him again, as long as it is in a public place, e.g. cinema, town centre... and always let a friend know... (read in full...)
We have great sex, however I would like a bit of attention. Is it bad that I feel like this?
Q. Hey everyone, just found the site and it looks interesting. I have a question about my girlfriend. We have been together for just over 6 months now and we have had sex. Thing is she hasn't done anything to me. It doesn't bother me much, however so...
A. 26 May 2008: It isnt bad, everybody has their preferences on what they like and what they dont.
Ask her what turns her on and what she would like you to do to her then assuming you dont mind, do these things for her. Its pretty likely she'll ask you back and ... (read in full...)
How should I go about appologizing to her parents
Q. I've known my gf now for over 2 going on 3 years and we've been dating for going on 2, and i'm so in love with her and she feels the same for me. High school sweethearts, planning to get married the whole 9 yards. Well on problem...her mother d...
A. 26 May 2008: As a catholic family I would have thought they been able to forgive you, but it seems they are still hurt with what you have said.
I have a friend with bipolar disorder and understand what a difficult illness it can be.
If they refuse to see you ... (read in full...)
He got sick after sleeping with me and now won't have anything to do with me, am I sick?
Q. Hi My boyfriend want nothing to do with me cause he slept with me and got sick( had Drop).now he says i sleep aroud. i've never cheated on him, please help what wrong with me.Am i sick? where to ge help?...
A. 26 May 2008: The aunt below is right. More information would let us help you more.
If 'drop' is a sexually tranmitted infection then you should really get checked out just in case. You can do this at a family planning clinic or a GUM clinic. look through your... (read in full...)
I feel he is not treating me as he would a new GF, he's too relaxed with me and does not put effort into our relationship...
Q. This is kinda hard for me to explain... I've been with my bf almost 2 years, but recently, we've been fighting more and more. It's hard to explain, but instead of treating me like he'd treat a new girlfriend (sweet, caring, gentle), he's getting ...
A. 26 May 2008: Most relationships cool down after a while once the 'honeymoon period' is over.
Is the relationship worth fighting for? You are obviously becoming stressed and it is likely to get worse if you stay in this situation. Self-harming can be lethal and ... (read in full...)
He is my ideal man but I really want to experiment with other men as I was a virgin before I'd met him!
Q. Hello, I am really confused at the momment, since I do not know if I want to be in a relationship, even though I am quite happy with my boyfriend. He is my ideal husband, but I want to experiement with other men before settling down, since my b...
A. 26 May 2008: This is such a common dilemma and no solution seems perfect.
The temptation of other men will always be there, even when your in a stable happy relationship, its just in our nature. It only causes problems when we act on it.
Going three and a ha... (read in full...)
Does this make me gay? If I am one of a kind, does that mean I'll be lonely?
Q. Hey! I am not attracted to genetalia of men nor women. The only thing I find sexually attractive in women are eyes and running my hands through their hair. The thing that really excites me is the thought of a man sitting on my face and ...
A. 26 May 2008: Plenty of men get confused about what they really want its just part of life. Everyone has fantasies and fetishes, as long as they dont do anyone any harm then its fine.
You dont have to choose to be straight or gay, just do what feels right and ... (read in full...)
My ex's cheating has left me insecure and worried about the size of my chest, can you help?
Q. i've been with my boyfriend now for almost a month and we really like eachother, i have never had a good relationship before. the last boyfriend i had, he was my first serious relationship, the first boy i felt i honestly loved.i lost my virginity ...
A. 26 May 2008: Smaller boobs are much more fashionable now, look at kate Moss! At 34B, you arent flat chested at all, you are a perfectly normal size. And at least you wont have to worry about big sagging boobs when you get older lol. Your ex boyfriend was an i... (read in full...)
How do I talk to a guy online without giving the wrong impression?
Q. How do I talk to a guy over the internet without giving the wrong impresson? ?...
A. 26 May 2008: From the beginning,let them know that you arent interested in relationships at the moment. Any guy who still responds will be clear of this and happy to talk to you regardless.
If someone offends you or are says something you are uncomfortable with... (read in full...)
Is my wife attracted to her best friend who is male?
Q. I want to know if my wife is attracted to her best friend who is male? They have been friends for awhile know and I didn't really think anything of there relationship till we got drunk one night. All her attention was on him all night and they even ...
A. 26 May 2008: I think this would bother any married man!
It could be just a harmless frienship and your wife had just drank a bit too much, but then again maybe not.
Talk about that night, tell her what she said and ask her if she has any feelings for this man... (read in full...)
I have feelings for him but am not sure if he is gay, should I ignore it?
Q. i am a 17 year old male and have been very attratced to another male at college for the past two or three months. the dilema is that i don't even know his name, of whether he is definately gay (his clothing does not show particular masculinity). a ...
A. 26 May 2008: Well if you're sure these feelings for him are of a sexual nature and not just admiration, then I guess it works like straight realtionships.
We never know if the person we like, likes us back but the only way of knowing is by finding out!
Try a... (read in full...)
Please help! Could I be pregnant??
Q. right im 15 years old and female, and last night i lost my virginity. stupidly i was drunk and he didnt use a condom, but before he was about to cum he took his penis out. i am not on the pill, nor did i take the morning after pill. i am scared that ...
A. 26 May 2008: Well the good news is, the morning after-pill can be taken up to 72 hours after having sex (3 days) so hurry up and see your doctor or a chemist. It may be embarrassing but they deal with this almost every day.
You might want to think about gett... (read in full...)
I want to lose my virginity to him but he has a girlfriend!
Q. hey... im 14 and still a virgin... im scared to loose my virginity but my mate says its fine... i really want to do it with this lad who i no... hes told me he wants to do it aswell but hes with another girl... i know that people say when your 14 ...
A. 26 May 2008: Ofcourse you know who you like, whatever age you are.
But the fact is he is seeing this other girl and splitting them up wont make you feel good.
I know how easy it is to see a few other people you're age losing their virginity and feeling ... (read in full...)
I don't love my wife anymore, please help.
Q. Dear all, I know my wife thru internet. I live in US and she is in other country. After almost one year chatting and went there to see her. We got married. Because of the situation, she can't live with me or come here to stay with me. So she stud...
A. 26 May 2008: You are both living seperate lives, it isnt suprising you have grown apart.
If you really feel that you no longer love her you should let her know.
The sooner you let her know, the sooner you can both move on with your lives.
xxx... (read in full...)
Should I date my brother's friend?
Q. I went to prom with my friend's brother. We hungout before and had a lot of fun. He's implied he wants more. We've played strip games, although I'm not a slut. He's had to show more so he keeps saying I owe it to him to lose. It's like our joke. ...
A. 26 May 2008: You like him, he likes you, you're both single. What are you waiting for girl? Nevermind him being your friends brother (at least you wont have to worry about meeting the family!) go for it!
xxx... (read in full...)
Is he stringing me along or really sorting out "issues" with the mother of his kid?
Q. I met a man whom i feel madly inlove with and for a while i thought he loved me too.Our problem is that he's still seeing the mother of his six yr old son.He told me that he is willing to break it up with her so we can have a proper relationship.But ...
A. 26 May 2008: Ok this is a complicated situation, this man dosent want to break up his family but is happy seeing you on the side.
It may be difficult but you must really give him a deadline about how long you will wait for him and stick to it.
But do you real... (read in full...)
I'm 16 and very hairy. Advice, please.
Q. Right this is pretty embarising to ask. But im pretty damn hairy down there (if you know what i mean) and i need to know if thats right or not. I mean i know you can get bikini's and brazilians and that, but im only 16. I should be saying well no o...
A. 26 May 2008: You would be worrying if it wasnt there! Everyone is different and a bit of excess hair shouldnt cause you any problems. If you want to, wax and trim occasionally, but dont do it because you think you have to.
I think your future boyfriends will... (read in full...)
What can I do to get rid of facial hair?
Q. Hi, I have an unsightly problem because I have a female moustache. I bleach the hairs so they are less visible. But if i didn't bleach they'd be a dark colour. What can I do to get rid of the hairs? Laser hair removal has its dangers, and it sounds ...
A. 26 May 2008: Have you thought about electrolysis? It is virtually pain free and risk free though it is quite expensive but the results are permanent so it would save you alot in creams and waxes! Another idea is a 'silky mit' which is basically as it says, a ... (read in full...)
I'm trying so hard to get over him and move on but I need my things back!-Help
Q. My boyfriend and I recently broke up. He said he needed to take care of some things and I should keep in mind that he has to do what he has to do. Don't really know what that means cos' if he was to break up, he should have said so and that he ...
A. 26 May 2008: The sooner you collect your stuff, the sooner you can move on. Try texting him again, if he dosent reply, call at his house, preferably with a friend. xxx... (read in full...)
Please help me, I found out my fiance slept with a girl of 17! We have a child and I'm trying to keep myself together!
Q. I don't really know where to start, here goes! i have been in a relationship for almost 5years and myself and my fiance hit a rough patch and it had been hard for a little while and neither of us where happy. i kept it together as we have a 2year ...
A. 25 May 2008: You have every right to be upset and confused honey you really didnt derserve this, but dont hate yourself, you did nothing wrong and you are being a great mother. But I guess it all boils down to what happens next. What he did was wrong and Im very ... (read in full...)
How can I effectively ignore his efforts to hurt me, as to not let my self esteem get hurt?
Q. Ok, here's the thing. My ex broke up with me a week ago. He was very controlling and hurtful, during most of the relationship, although it probably was more of my fault as I lied. But he intimidated me, as he's always been so aggressive, and he some...
A. 24 May 2008: You must realise that this man was controlling you and thinks he can do the same now. Ignore his calls, dont even open the emails he sends, its time for you to move forward and get your life back on track.
Try and reconnect with old friends, expl... (read in full...)
I like this guy, but I can't talk to him because it makes me nervous!
Q. My question won't be the first like this to be asked. Infact it's really quite a common question. I started a new job roughly 4 months ago and I love it, but their is a guy who works with me who is the same age, and i really like him. The problem is ...
A. 24 May 2008: You're right this is a very common question on here!
If telling him is too nerve racking, try hinting subtly that you are interested in him or even ask a friend to hint to him!
As you say, he is moving soon, which could cause a few problems... (read in full...)
Information about the first time needed!
Q. Dear Cupid, Ive been with my boyfriend for a year and a half now and we haven't been sexually active. We are both virgins and plan on having sex together soon. My problem is, since I've never had sex, I dont know much about it. So I wan...
A. 24 May 2008: Firstly well done for waiting till your in a happy relationship,now for the techincal side of things...
The first time isnt likely to be great and can be a bit uncomfortable but with more practise and time it definitly improves!
Its pretty difficul... (read in full...)
He's hurting me with his fickle behaviour!
Q. Hello. Recently I was out with friends. The boy I like was there. But that night he was acting macho and being nasty around his friends. He said some awful things to me and it hurt alot. I got in my home and began to cry over this. When we are on o...
A. 24 May 2008: He is obviously very immature if he plays up to his friends by making you feel bad. He may very well like you but if he clearly puts himself before you.
Dont waste your time with someone so selfish, you deserve much better.
xxx... (read in full...)
Does she still love me, or is she looking to play around?
Q. Ok, my ex and I broke up 4 months ago and had a really good relationship. We looked so good together and had a lot in common. When we broke up it was like we shouldn't have because there was nothing wrong, we just broke up. But now we are best ...
A. 24 May 2008: I think the term 'dosent want you but dosent want anyone else to have you' comes into play here. It does sound as if she values your friendship and cares about you but dosent want to commit fully. The fact she suddenly became interested once again ... (read in full...)
I need my fun loving self back, instead of being stressed out and overworked.!
Q. Hey family. I've noticed lately that I am more of an uptight person than I used to be. I have 2 kids, and it seems like I do most if not all the work in my house, including earning the bread. My partner does the minimum, and he knows and admits to ...
A. 24 May 2008: Forget worrying about damaging him, all this work is having a damaging effect on you! If you are the one who goes and works to provide for your family it is only fair he does his share of household work. Tell him firmly that you are tired and ... (read in full...)
How do I make my boobs bigger, and will that attract a boyfriend?
Q. I have tiny boobs and i have no boyfriend, how do i make my boobs bigger, and will that attract a boyfriend?...
A. 22 May 2008: Theres not really anything you can do about you're boobs, but at your age you have plenty of time for them to grow! At least if you have small breasts you know someone is more interested in you than your boobs!
Don't worry
xxx... (read in full...)
He uses a wedding ring... is he married?
Q. Started seeing a guy lately and whilst we have been flirting with each other I have noticed he has a wedding ring. I asked him if he was married, and he said he was separated - why then would still wear a ring?...
A. 21 May 2008: I'd imagine most divorcees would remove their ring as soon as their marriage was over. However he could still be wearing it out of habit and mean nothing by it.
Get to know him a bit better before you begin to act on your feelings, maybe sugg... (read in full...)
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