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I've been replying to problems for quite a while now and hope Ive helped make a difference in some way. Mostly I prefer answering questions relating to health and sex, as I feel these are the most important and I have a bit of background knowledge that I hope will be useful to others.
I tend not to answer questions I feel I'm not qualified to answer and put most of my energy into the ones I feel I am.
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| Latest articles: Unprotected Sex....never worth it!
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
2 September 2008: Almost every day it seems there is a post that pops up from someone who has had unprotected sex and is worried about the possibility of being pregnant or having caught a sexually tranmitted infection. Alot of the time, this is due to them being pr...
Teacher - Student Relations (Article)
This question has 9 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 May 2008: As an avid subject on Dear cupid I felt compelled to write an article on teacher and student relations and what becomes of them. Most of us has at one point been attracted to a teacher, whether it be that young fit sport teacher or that slightly...
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I've always gone for "bad boys" so should I give this "nice guy" a chance?
Q. I'm a single woman in my fifties. I would really like to have a partner, and have had various relationships over the last few years. The problem is that the guys I usually go for are the ones who have a spark of danger about them. And I have got ...
A. 5 May 2008: Alot of women are attracted to 'bad boys' as they bring a sense of excitement and are unpredictable. But as someone once told me 'bad boys are great for flings nothing more.'
Once that dangerous spark has fizzled out your left with nothing.
If yp... (read in full...)
I don't know if I'll ever get over her and will I love someone else as much ?
Q. Ok, when I met this girl she had just broken up with her long term boyfriend but I was't aware of this, we then went on to have the most amazing 3 months together, then she began going back and forth breaking up with me to be with the ex and then ...
A. 5 May 2008: She has no respect for you if she keeps doing this. This isnt fair on you or the other man in her life, you deserve better.
It seems she knows you care for her and that you will welcome her back into your life whenever she wants.
If you truly fe... (read in full...)
I feel I look awful without any make-up on and makes me feel too self-conscious about spending the night with guys!
Q. Hi, I have never been lucky in love but recently I met someone really nice.We have been on dates. The problem is that i feel i look awful without any make-up on. He thinks i look really beautiful but i feel when he sees the real me he will run ...
A. 5 May 2008: Your ex-boyfriend is an ex for a reason, dont let his problem become yours too.
If a man is happy enough to get intimate with you the last thing on his mind is whether your mascara has run or if you arent wearing any foundation!
You cou;d always '... (read in full...)
Please please help, I need reassurance badly!
Q. Please please, i need major reassurance! Well last March i had an abortion because my baby was diagnosed with Downs Syndrome. Me and my partner were all set 2 go ahead with the pregnancy until we were told the baby wouldn't survive, as it had leaky ...
A. 5 May 2008: Well you've already established that you are both healthy and fertile so that shouldnt be an issue.
Yes there can be complications of abortion procedures but this is very rare.
Approximately 85% of couples actively trying for a baby get pregnant... (read in full...)
Where can I hide my "toy" from Mum?
Q. Hello, I am trying to find a place to put my vibrator.do u know where the most unlikley Place that my Mom whould find it? Post thanks...
A. 5 May 2008: I love reading the answers to this question lol If Im trying to hide something I put it in one of my boots in my wardrobe and it seems to work affectively!
Other places could be under a set of drawers or a wardrobe.An old box (say for a mobile phon... (read in full...)
I'm 23 and still a virgin. I don't know much about sex.
Q. i'm 23 and still a virgin. I don't know much about sex. i am looking for someone to tell me about sex. never had a girlfriend and never even fooled around with one. Please Help me!!!!!!...
A. 5 May 2008: Many people get the impression that there a certain things that need to be done, but truth is there isnt.There isnt a manual given to everyone, its all just down your natural instincts, what feels right.Once you're in the position to have sex it ... (read in full...)
I can't sleep because my friend is constantly on my mind!
Q. Basically i'm in love with my friend, i have been for 8 months. I'm not bisexual or lesbian, it's just a one off (i think). My friend is straight and i have told her my feelings for her. She's fine with it. But i just don't know what to do, i can...
A. 5 May 2008: Theres not much you can do. I can only suggest you go out and see different people and experience relationships with others. Not only will this take your mind off of your friend but it will also allow you to more time to see if the situation changes ... (read in full...)
I'm 5 weeks pregnant...am I miscarrying?
Q. Hi everyone i have a question, i'm a little freaked out, i think i might be miscarring! I've looked online for the symptoms of miscarring and you have cramps like your on your period, sharp pains in your lower abdomin, and bleed alot for 4 days - up ...
A. 4 May 2008: Please get help immediately.
Its not easy to say what exactly is happening as stomach cramping can be a symptom of a variety of things.
At the moment you're health is the priority, please go and see a doctor as soon as you can.When you're pregnant... (read in full...)
How do I talk with my husband about our terrible sexlife without breaking his proud?
Q. I have a question, I am 24 and my husband is 34, I know that he has passed the age where sex is a must, but I am just barely reaching that age, and my sex life is terrible. It never lasts longer than 10 minutes, what can he do, I refuse to cheat on ...
A. 4 May 2008: At 34, your man is far from past it!
I understand you dont want to hurt his pride, so you should be as responsive as possible about the things you do like so he will learn what turns you on and what doesnt.
Lengthen sex by participating in more ... (read in full...)
I can't read my coworker's signals. We flirted, but is there more?
Q. Recently a coworker and I have become very close. We are both in marriages that are very rocky and we are of the opposite sex. I am posting just hear what other people think might be going on here. Before I begin, I realize I am still married ...
A. 4 May 2008: Working in a close enviroment is always going to draw people closer together and in this case maybe a little to close. It does seem she enjoys being in your company very much so and vice versa.
However as both of you already have strong ties, she ... (read in full...)
Help! I have two lumps on my penis
Q. Im 15 and a few nights ago i went to bed and my penis hurt so i thought it was nothing i just bumped it or something but yesterday i pulled my foreskin back and saw two small lumps that look like mouth ulcers any idea what i should do? p.s: im a...
A. 3 May 2008: Hi, your penis is like any other part of your body if it gets bumped it will swell up slightly. Dont worry yet, wait and see if it heals itself after a week or so and if it hasn't see a doctor. xxx... (read in full...)
All guys adore me and find me the hottest, but would not approach me...are they totally crazy?!
Q. Well i am 19 years old and i am studying in this highly prestigious university in the United Kingdom. I am the most popular girl in class and my classmates think that i am a stuck up, attitude carrying show off. All this is said behind my back. ...
A. 3 May 2008: It doesnt matter if the guys think you are hottest. Its
personality what attracts people to others.
If you were the most popular girl you wouldnt feel lonely.
Popularity doesnt get you grades.
Show them that your not stuck up girl they think ... (read in full...)
I'm 14 and pregnant, my mum's single and disabled, please advise me what to do.
Q. I'm 14 and i'm pregnant. The boy doesn't want me to have the baby he's only 16. My mom doesn't think i should either. My mom is a disabled single mom and we are having a hard time. She takes care of me and my 10 yr old sister by herself. Is it fair...
A. 3 May 2008: Honey, only you can make that decision.
You must consider how a baby will change your life.
Your education,how it will be financially supported.
Your mum is just looking out for you and wants whats best for you.
You're not selfish to want ... (read in full...)
What should I do about this girl in church? I think she may have a boyfriend.
Q. okay, iv'e met this really pretty cuban girl about 2 months ago while we were preaching. Her cousin and her kept whispering and looking at me and well im not sure but i think she likes me, but im stressing out cause i can't figure her out. In ...
A. 3 May 2008: It does seem that she likes you. Maybe shes too shy to tell you or not sure whether you like her too.
You should get to know her, become her friend, find out all about her. It can start with just the odd 'hello'.
You have nothing to lose,... (read in full...)
I've only stopped having feelings for men recently and I do not want to reveal my inclinations until I am sure, how do I go about this?
Q. Hi there, im 19, and female. i have been having feelings for other girls for around 3 years now but ive only stopped having feelings for men recently. I just don't find them attractive anymore, but the female sex is intriging me. I don't know if ...
A. 3 May 2008: Hi honey, most people are attracted to the same sex at some point in their lives, sometimes for a short period of time sometimes for longer.You dont have to choose your sexuality now or put yourself in a box.
Go with your instincts, be true to your... (read in full...)
Is she cheating, or am I just being paranoid?
Q. I need some advice guys. My g/f is working lots of over time at work. She makes an extra effort to look good for work. eg. spends about 2hrs getting ready. She's gone on a diet. She went bowling on works nite out last week. The place shuts at 11pm ...
A. 1 May 2008: Your girl may have pressure on her to look good for work.Many employers emphazise appearence. However if she stays out she should really let you know, for her own safety aswell as your peace of mind. There are usually obvious signs people are ... (read in full...)
Could my friend be pregnant??
Q. My friend who i love sooo much kind of makes some stupid decisions sometimes. She's on birth control and that usually is enough to keep someone from getting pregnant, but if you have a condom why not use it to make sure you are protecting yourself ...
A. 1 May 2008: Vomitting usually passes within two days, so she should definitly see a doctor if the test turns out to be negative.Hasnt she mentioned her periods and whether shes missed one yet? She should also look out for tiredness and breast tenderness. As ... (read in full...)
My husband will not stop looking at porn. How can I make him understand?
Q. My husband will not stop looking at porn. i have asked him to stop but he does it behind my back. when i catch him he turns the argument around on me. i am a heavy woman and i am trying to lose weight. it hurts me because i believe he thinks i am ...
A. 30 April 2008: Most of the girls in the porn industry are unnaturually thin and in magazines-airbrushed.They dont represent real women. Most men look at porn from time to time and it doesnt mean to loves you any less.He wouldnt be with you if he didnt find you ... (read in full...)
My period is late and I haven't had sex. Could I have a tumor?
Q. Ok well my last period was March 17-24 witch is my normal cycle I havent had sex I am still young but I watched a tv show and a girl have a brain tumor and missed her periods well now it is May 1st and I still didnt get my April period tumors dont...
A. 30 April 2008: It is very very very unlikely. Tumours are pretty rare. As its only just over a week late I wouldnt start worrying quite yet.People who have regular cycles can sometimes be a bit late, usually down to stress.So try not to worry for now! xxx ... (read in full...)
I stupidly told my friends I was goin out with this guy when I wasnt-How do I get out this mess?
Q. dear cupid, ive done somethin really stupid, i told my friends i was goin out with this guy when i really wasnt because i was so sick of them bragging about there own love lives, now my friend added the guy i sed i was goin out with on msn and shes ...
A. 30 April 2008: Babe, it'll be ok.Hes done what hes done and you dont have to worry anymore.If your friends say anything then they're not good enough to be your friends. Hold your head up high, everyone makes mistakes xxx... (read in full...)
Should I be concerned that my boyfriend visits local dating sites? Is he bored with me?
Q. So one day my boyfriend asks me to go onto his computer and check to see if he had gotten any new emails, so I went onto his computer and checked it for him. Also he had his internet up and so I just clicked on it. I noticed that his history ...
A. 29 April 2008: It could just be that he was curious what these websites were like or they may just have been pop ups he'd clicked on randomly.Does he not share a computer? If so, it could have been someone else who had accessed these sites. Try not to worry, lots ... (read in full...)
How do I know for sure if he loves me?
Q. hi! there is this guy i've known for almost two years.no we are not dating and he has a girlfriend. i love him,and somehow i cant shake the feeling that he loves me too.he hasnt said it but he actually seems to be very happy around me. how do i kn...
A. 29 April 2008: I'd wait until he was single to make a move as it could get complicated if he was still in a relationship. In the mean time, go out and meet other guys and have fun and if you are meant to be together it will happen eventually. x... (read in full...)
My boyfriend said he wants space -Help!
Q. Help. My boyfriend said he wants space i leave him alone for a few days then hes textin me sayin he loves me and all that. But then Says Ill Never Change he thinks im a complete bitch. And Doesnt want me no more. I think Somethings up co...
A. 29 April 2008: He's messing you about. He seems to think you'll drop everything and be with him when he wants. It may hurt now but maybe its best you end things. You deserve to be happy x... (read in full...)
I'm ready for sex after having our baby, but he says he wants to wait for a while. He says he can't look at me the same way!
Q. Hi I had my first baby (10th april) she was a girl and is stunning, perfect the birth was pretty easy and im fine now. My boyfriend was at the birth and very suportive i live with him. And im really horny and want to have sex with him. But he cant ...
A. 29 April 2008: Firstly Congratulations on your baby! And secondly, this is a fairly common problem. His primary concern is for you and the baby and this has maybe somewhat sidetracked sex.He'll most probably come round soon once hes got used to the idea that you ... (read in full...)
Is it true going on the pill makes you put on weight?
Q. hey i was just wonderin my mum has suggested i go onto the pill and at first i thought this could be a good idea but some people have told me it makes u put on weight..is this true?...
A. 29 April 2008: It totally depends on the person and what pill it is. However it will only ever me a couple of lbs at the most and you'd definitly gain more weight if you were pregnant! Talk to your family planning clinic and they can advise you on whats right for ... (read in full...)
How should I tell my teacher that he made my life worth living?
Q. My chorus teacher (who I'm in love with, but forget about that right now) is the reason why I'm still here today. I was suicidal in eighth grade and was going to follow through with it if ninth grade didn't go well. Obviously since I'm in twelfth ...
A. 29 April 2008: Hey glad to hear your out of your dark zone. Maybe you could just buy him a thankyou card.
Dont worry whatever you say or write, Im sure he'll just be glad that he was some help to you when you needed it the most. xxx... (read in full...)
My friends have turned against me for apparently no reason! I've no one to turn to, any advice?
Q. I feel so alone. Most of my friends left school and didnt stay on at college. The ones that have, have suddenly turned against me for no reason at all.I have no-one to turn to. ...
A. 29 April 2008: Thankyou for your replies! I am going to uni in september, so look forward to meeting people then. I think maybe Ive outgrown them. Anyway thanks for your replies, made me feel alot better. xxxxxxxxxxxxxx... (read in full...)
I want him back, but can we make it work?
Q. My ex and I broke up a month ago, which I know is not a long time to let it heal, but the problem is that I don't want to move on and get over him - I want him back! When we broke up he told me it was because he needed time and space to sort ou...
A. 29 April 2008: Hi sorry to hear your going through a hard time. It sounds to me like he feels you will grow apart once you go to university, not just because of the distance but because you'll be socialising with different people and generally living a different ... (read in full...)
The teahcer says I will fail my medic school exam..and I'm scared he's right!
Q. i am in med school and today was my oral exam where i had to do some practical stuff in front of the respective teacher and then answer questions..i kinda screwed up in my oral exam and practical although i worked really really hard.i left out the ...
A. 29 April 2008: Your teacher was probably just trying to scare you into working harder. If you work hard, as you say you do, then you'll pass fine. Show your teacher they are wrong! xxx... (read in full...)
Help! I lost my erection!
Q. I have recently started seeing a girl, this is the first girl i have been dating for several months now. She is extremely nice and sexually stunning. After seeing her a few times we decided to make the next step to the bedroom. Unfortunately ha...
A. 29 April 2008: Hi, this is alot more common than you'd think and is almost always down to the pressure of having sex. Maybe wanting to impress her the first time left you stressed? And now everytime you are getting ready you subconcsiously worry that it will ... (read in full...)
Sometimes he hurts me when he gives me oral sex
Q. My boyfriend sucks too hard while performing oral sex...Sometimes i gets really painful and I am not able to reach an orgasm. I dont want to emberrass him and complain...What should I do???...
A. 2 August 2007: Be more responsive when hes been gentle so he knows that you prefer it to when hes being full on and hopefully he will carry on being careful in future... (read in full...)
She made fun of my cousin and I felt it was bang out of order.
Q. A few days ago whilst out with friends [one of which is my cousin]. My girlfriend embarrassed me by making fun about my youngest cousin. As we were discussing family she brought up my youngest cousin and started dissing him by calling him a 't**t' ...
A. 2 August 2007: Is she close to her family is not she might be jealous that you have a good relationship with yours. Next time she says anything tell her that its unfair for her to judge someone she barely knows and that you wouldnt expect this from her, hopefull... (read in full...)
He broke up with me and said someday he will come back to me begging, but he hardly contacts me!
Q. ok i met my ex b/f through the internet and i moved to the city he was studying to live together.It was the best year of my life.he was telling me all the time how much he loves me and he was showing it in many ways and promised after graduating and ...
A. 2 August 2007: Don't send him letters, its the least he deserves. He knew fully well what he was doing when he suggested you split up and implied that he'd come back, maybe this was so he always has you to come back to when he chooses, you deserve much better than ... (read in full...)
36, still a virgin and have no desire for sex! Am I strange?
Q. I am 36 years old and still a virgin! I have never had any desire to have sex with anybody! I have never seen a real life woman naked (and have no desire to do so, and I am definitely not Gay!!!) Please can you tell me why people have a deisre for ...
A. 2 August 2007: Ever considered you may be Asexual?... (read in full...)
It there any way my sister can stop talking in her sleep?
Q. dear cupid my sister sleep talks in her sleep and does not know what she saying. is their any way of stoping this?...
A. 28 July 2007: Most people talk in their sleep at some point, Its supposedly more common in people with big imaginations (thats whys its more common in children) all i can suggest is to relax more before she goes to sleep and try not to sleep with a lot of ... (read in full...)
I had unprotected sex twice, what are the chances I might be pregnant?
Q. Hi, I stupidly had unprotected sex twice when I was ovulatating, two weeks ago and I'm due my preiod next week. I'm 17 I just wondered what the likliness is that I could be pregnant? and how long would I have to wait to find out for sure? I wont be ...
A. 25 July 2007: Thanks for the answers, well it was twice in a row and I really wasn't thinking.I don't have any excuses and will not definitly take any chances in future.I'll take a test in a couple of weeks.Thankyou.... (read in full...)
Is it ok to spend the night at my girlfriends house?
Q. My special lady owns a house, so i sometime on weekends spend in her house, i live with my cousin, now my cousin is all over me saying am doing it wrong, me i dont find it wrong, my girl too does not find it wrong too. Am asking for advise about th...
A. 25 July 2007: I suspect your cousin is maybe a bit lonely and missing your company.However I don't think theres anything wrong and staying over at your girlfriends place is a good basis to see if you could live together in the long term. If this is botherin... (read in full...)
Would it be a sin or illegal to be with my first cousin?
Q. Ok, over the past few years me and my first cousin and i have gone really close and want to go further she lives kind of far and we talk time to time but i am afrain my family will not accept me. What should i do? and also is this a sin if we have ...
A. 25 July 2007: I believe it is legal in the UK nt sure about in the US however there could be certain genetic problems if you have children and it would more than likely cause alot of upset amongst your family members. Some religions fully approve cousin relation... (read in full...)
My parents signed forms claiming custody of my kids so they could go to school in their district; now they won't let me have my kids back because they don't like my new partner's nationality
Q. I have had very controlling parents all of my life. I now have two children ages 10 and 15. In 2005 my children were attending a school that was in my parents school district. The principal found out and would not let my children go back to school ...
A. 25 July 2007: I'd advise you go straight to see a solicitor and explain you werent fully aware of what you signed, I think this would be a enough ground to have a "tribunal" type thing and have all concerns and factors addressed properly Also how do your kids fee... (read in full...)
How can I subtly as my boyfriend what he enjoys during sex?
Q. How can I ask a guy what he really likes during sex without just asking "what do you like during sex". anyone got some subtle questions that might help?...
A. 25 July 2007: If your really embarrased just try different things and try to read his responses to see what he likes... (read in full...)
Sometimes I feel unattractive and stupid during sex; how can I feel more confident?
Q. How can I be more relaxed and confident when I'm having sex? Sometimes during sex I just feel really stupid with what I'm doing even though I like it and sometimes I feel very unattractive. how can I just "let go"?...
A. 25 July 2007: Well firstly he must be attracted to you to be in bed with you in the first place! But if you feel that way, you could boost your confidence by having your hair done and pamper yourself :)... (read in full...)
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