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I've been replying to problems for quite a while now and hope Ive helped make a difference in some way. Mostly I prefer answering questions relating to health and sex, as I feel these are the most important and I have a bit of background knowledge that I hope will be useful to others.
I tend not to answer questions I feel I'm not qualified to answer and put most of my energy into the ones I feel I am.
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| Latest articles: Unprotected Sex....never worth it!
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
2 September 2008: Almost every day it seems there is a post that pops up from someone who has had unprotected sex and is worried about the possibility of being pregnant or having caught a sexually tranmitted infection. Alot of the time, this is due to them being pr...
Teacher - Student Relations (Article)
This question has 9 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 May 2008: As an avid subject on Dear cupid I felt compelled to write an article on teacher and student relations and what becomes of them. Most of us has at one point been attracted to a teacher, whether it be that young fit sport teacher or that slightly...
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He uses a wedding ring... is he married?
Q. Started seeing a guy lately and whilst we have been flirting with each other I have noticed he has a wedding ring. I asked him if he was married, and he said he was separated - why then would still wear a ring?...
A. 21 May 2008: I'd imagine most divorcees would remove their ring as soon as their marriage was over. However he could still be wearing it out of habit and mean nothing by it.
Get to know him a bit better before you begin to act on your feelings, maybe sugg... (read in full...)
Should I feel guilty for wanting to sleep with him before marriage?
Q. Hi, i would like some advice.Im a 25 year old catholic virgin and have been with my boyfriend for 4 years now-we are both in love and plan to marry.I have always wanted to wait i was married before having sex and my boyfriend is so loving and unde...
A. 21 May 2008: You shouldnt feel bad about being tempted. It is human instinct to have sexual urges and there isnt anything you can do to stop that.
However as you are catholic, sex before marriage isnt approved of and you have waited four years. I think you shou... (read in full...)
I dreamt that I made out with my best girl friend!! What does it mean?
Q. i had a really bad dream..but before that let me tell u that i think i am bi..i want to have sex with a woman although i havent yet done it!!!comimg back to my dream..i dreamt of making out with my best girl friend..it totally grossed me out..i ...
A. 21 May 2008: Dreams dont always mean anything, if they did it would make me a very sick individual! lol most people are curious about the opposite sex, it dosent mean you're gay or bisexual as such. Dont worry about it, everyone has odd dreams every so often! x... (read in full...)
Any tips on how to say you're not interested in pursuing anything further after a blind date?
Q. Hiya I have recently started using online dating sites and have been meeting girls off there (yes of course always make sure we are both careful in meeting at public place etc) Anyway because these are sort of blind dates, what is the best an...
A. 17 May 2008: Well I wish more men were as thoughtful as you! If there isnt a spark between the two of you, then most women would realise and not ask for another date.
For the unlucky few who do, be polite and say you enjoyed the evening but felt you bonded more... (read in full...)
The situation with my married teacher has intensified, please help me!
Q. A few months ago I posted a question on this site about the close relationship between myself and my married art teacher http://www.dearcupid.org/question/if-he-was-not-married-would-he-see.html Since then it is becoming more serious, althoug...
A. 17 May 2008: He is putting his career and marriage first, which is the right thing to do.
As you've said, when you dated another man, he slipped your mind, which just shows you that it isnt HIM you want in particular, you just want someone there for you. Ther... (read in full...)
Strange discharge? Should I go back to the doctors?
Q. i was repllyiin in respect to d last responce i got concernin my case. am a 20yr old girl who experince discharge of blood from my vagina any time am sexually aroussd, after like 1week or 2wks after ,my period pls wot iswrong and ...
A. 17 May 2008: Please see a doctor as soon as you can. The bleeding could be due to a number of reasons, such as abnormality in the womb or simply an infection or cut.
If you feel your doctor hasnt taken your situation seriously asked to be referred for a seco... (read in full...)
Do I need to worry about STDs even though we're both virgins?
Q. I've been dating a guy for almost 13 months. I'm a virgin and so is my boyfriend, but I give him blowjobs and handjobs. We're not going to have sex, because we've agreed that we're too young and not ready. We don't use condoms when I blow him, but I ...
A. 17 May 2008: If you're both virgins then neither of you will have an STI, but you might still want to think about using a condom as other types of infections can stem from these.
When you decide to have sex though,(preferably when you are of age) you must use ... (read in full...)
My friends say he took my virginity - did someone spike my drink?
Q. im 15 and i went to a party last week end and i think some body spiked my drink because i only had a shandy. my mates told me he tooked me up stairs and i think he took my virginity can some body help me through this dificult time please?...
A. 17 May 2008: Usually when someone is spiked they will suffer from nausea, vomitting and hallucinations. Has anyone mentioned you suffering from these that night?
Do you remember leaving the party and returning home? If you can recall this then its unlikely your... (read in full...)
We 'switched' partners but weren't supposed to have sex and I did! Now my fiance can't trust me.
Q. ok, me and my fiancee of 2 yrs. had a wild and crazy night w/his best friend and his girl. well we were switchin partners but the deal was no sex. me and his bf didn't really stick to that. it wasn't much but i feel awful and can't beleive it ...
A. 17 May 2008: By switching partners, he generally gave you permission to become sexual with his friend. Although you both agreed not to have sex, it is very easy to get carried away.
Agree with each other not to switch partners in the future as this will ulti... (read in full...)
Used to always get 'wet' and now I'm always dry - why?
Q. why can't i 'get wet' anymore? i used to and when i had orgasm you could definitely tell, but now, i'm always really dry. what could this be?...
A. 17 May 2008: Are you sure you are still getting aroused as much as you used to? Take time on foreplay, dont rush in, this should help you become more 'lubricated.'
Often people become drier with age, but at your age this isnt an issue.
If you still feel as ... (read in full...)
I think I'm properly in love with myself!
Q. I have a problem....it's serious. Don't laugh when I say this cos it might sound a little wierd. I think I'm properly in love with myself. I just can't stop thinking about me. Nobody seems to be anywhere near as good as me and even when I tell mys...
A. 16 May 2008: Maybe someone in your past, possibly a parent has showered praise and compliments on you and as a result you have a very high opinion of yourself. At least you wont ever have self-confidence issues! If you feel that your feelings may cause problems... (read in full...)
How do I even out this body fat?
Q. dear cupid i have the follwing issue with my body. since i strted losing weight, i have recently saw that my left lower side of my stomach has a bit more fat than my right side, i went to the doctors but all he said was theirs nothing to worry ...
A. 16 May 2008: Firstly, you are looking at your stomach from your perspective, this isnt what the rest of the world sees, so other people wont see what you see. The one thing i feel could make a difference to you're situation is exercise. Do excerises that wil... (read in full...)
This former friend is taking all my mates away from me! Help!
Q. My questions to do with a relationship but not love, it's a friendship question. Well i have these mates and one in particular was really close with me like we were good mates but all of a sudden she has changed always being mean and really hates...
A. 16 May 2008: Your 'friend' may be jealous of you and be turning other friends against you to make her feel better about herself.
She knows how much her comments make you angry and that you will retaliate, making her look like the 'victim'.
The next time she... (read in full...)
Girls only, please! I'm having a heavier than normal period...
Q. Girls (only plz) i been havin periods for a while now and they havnt been bad i never had pain or anything like that. however this time its alot heavier and i dont know why ? Is this normal for it to change or does it does depend on the perso...
A. 15 May 2008: It can change occasionally, especially when you are young and you're body is getting used to being a woman. Unless the bleeding is causing an inconvience to your life or carries on for more than 4 or 5 days, dont worry.
Otherwise pay a trip to the ... (read in full...)
Embarassing question, I seem to have lost a vibrator...
Q. okay, this is embarrassing. About 2 weeks ago, I came home from a night out (yes, alcohol was involved). I fell asleep with my cordless "bullett" (a small vibrator) and have not been able to find it since. Is it possible that it is lost inside of ...
A. 15 May 2008: For a guess, you have just lost it elsewhere.
the average vaginal depth is 3 inches so you would definitly be able to feel it.
Have you had a period since? If it really was lodged up there you'd know when you were using a tampon.
Don't wor... (read in full...)
Could it be his baby? He never went back after his vasectomy to have his semen checked!
Q. I'm 16 weeks pregnant but boyfriend had a vasectomy, but says he never went back to have his semen checked, can it be his baby? help me, please!...
A. 15 May 2008: It all depends on how the surgery was performed, surgeons have different levels of success.
Work out your day of conception, who were you seeing at this time?
It is unlikely to get pregnant after a vasectomy but there is a small chance.
You shoul... (read in full...)
Does anyone else just feel run down?
Q. I feel like I have no purpose, im tired all the time and i find im short tempered all the time....I am happy i have a great boyfreind i just feel like im missing something in my life and i dunno what it is....Does anyone else just feel run down? ...
A. 15 May 2008: I think everyone feels like that at some point. Especially at your age, you have the mind of an adult but you get treated like a child still. It should soon pass, just keep thinking about all the positive things in your life.
If this goes on for ... (read in full...)
What is a normal vaginal depth?
Q. My question is about vaginal depth. You see. I met this guy last week and well, yesterday I asked him to my place. We were getting down to but when he . . .inserted his phallus it wouldn't go in all the way. [I wish I could articulate this better.] ...
A. 14 May 2008: You're completely normal. The average 'depth' is approximately 3 to 4 inches. I dare say forcing him any deeper would be pretty painful! x... (read in full...)
He's asked me to have sex with him and I don't know what to say!
Q. I recently just turned 16 and I really like this boy in my year. He is not the nicest looking but he is very nice to me and always complimenting me. I have liked him for a while and now he has asked me to have sex with him. I don't know what to say ...
A. 14 May 2008: No! As tempting as it may be, you should really be in a relationship before you have sex. News travels fast in schools and you don't want to risk your reputation. Get to know him better first or you'll end up regretting it.
Good luck
xxx... (read in full...)
Girl problems... no periods since January!
Q. Towards the end of last year and at the beginning of this year, I have been experiencing periods. At first they seemed to be fairly regular - I'd usaully come on every other month at the beginning of the month. I was always organised, and wore a ...
A. 14 May 2008: As you have mentioned, you only started your periods last year. It is very common for them to be irregular and all over the place for months and in some cases years. It will most probably settle down eventually.
The only other reasons why your peri... (read in full...)
I'm feeling ignored and unpopular at school, and my parents don't believe me when I say I'm unhappy.
Q. Hi, I no I write to you a lot about this kind of thing. You have given me great advice in the past so I hope you can do so again. I'm getting really down. At school, No-one wants to work with me on group work. I never get in a group with anyone I...
A. 14 May 2008: Parents don't always understand. School isnt the same now as it was for them, keep telling them, they'll soon understand you're serious. School can be a tough time, are you sure you cant be moved? Have you spoken to a teacher about your situation?
M... (read in full...)
I don't want to give into temptation! Help!
Q. why am i turned on by sleeping with another guy i met twice when i am perfectly happy in the relationship im in now? i hate myself for it!!!! and i dont want to give into temptation!! help!!!!...
A. 14 May 2008: You're just a perfectly normal woman! Everyone has fantasies about other people, even if they're in a relationship. As long as it stays a fantasy, then it isnt a problem. If this other man really is tempting, just try and stay out of his way or ... (read in full...)
Help my bf is going too fast, how do I slow him down!!!! DESPERATE FOR ANSWER
Q. i am 12 and am dating a 14 year old he is really cool and i like him but he is moving to fast for me weve been together for about 1 week and he already wants to kiss and makeout and maybe even see me naked but says he doesnt want to "ball" me until ...
A. 14 May 2008: Just tell him, if he sosent like it then hes not a very good boyfriend is he? And you have lots of time to have boyfriends in the future. Do't do anything you don't want to do
xxx... (read in full...)
Any help from girls! Help, is this a period?
Q. hey hey, I started bleeding today from my vagina and methinks it may be periods but i thought id get your opinion.. my blood varys in colour from brownish to bright red is this right?? and i seem to have a continuous flow of blood.. is this normal ...
A. 14 May 2008: Yeah, sounds like a period to me. What you've described sounds perfectly normal and healthy.
xxx... (read in full...)
He's never cum with me at all, and we've been together for 6 months!
Q. I've been with my boyfriend now for a good sixth months and we've had sex and I've given him oral and hand jobs but he just doesn't cum at all. He's been close but it's never happened once. I feel like maybe I'm not doing the best I could...
A. 14 May 2008: Men can often 'stop' on the brink of coming as a result of psychological issues. Subconciouslly he may feel that by coming he is completely vulnerable.
Try not to pressure him as this may be making things even more difficult for him. Give it time... (read in full...)
Is he interested or not?
Q. Hiya, im 18 and at the weekend me and my friends went away for the weekend. My friend brought this lad along with him and we started chatting. Im going to list what he said and did and i would love if someone could tell me if they think he's ...
A. 14 May 2008: Three words: Yes he is... (read in full...)
What are the chances that I'm pregnant?
Q. Okay, just a quick question. I understand none of you are going to be able to give a definite yes or no answer, I'd just like your opinions. So, last night just before I went to bed, I went to the toilet and noticed that there was a little circle ...
A. 14 May 2008: I'd say it was unlikely you're pregnant. Sometimes our bodies can act out of sync. As you mentioned you also had a regular period two weeks ago so you probably arent. If the bleeding carries on, you should see a doctor just in case.
Good luck with... (read in full...)
Can I delay my period?
Q. Hi I am going on holiday this summer and I don't want to be on my period as I will be in a bikini alot, maybe even skinny dipping, and will be having fun with guys. I have heard that I can postpone my period using the pill so I don't have i...
A. 14 May 2008: Yeah, You just keep taking the rest of your pills right through your break then carry on as normal after that x... (read in full...)
My wife has a fetish for firemen and is causing 'accidents' because of it. What can I do?
Q. I'm 25, and my wife is 24, we've been married for 2 years now. In the past few months and weeks she's recently been causing "accidents" - and I know why. I found a note in the kitchen when tidying up one day saying "must cause accident so hunk...
A. 13 May 2008: This really is bizarre! Its good that you're concerned from her, as it seems this apparent fetish has gone too far.
Have you considered that her behaviour may be 'attention seeking' as opposed to satiisfying her fetish?
Have you told her how much... (read in full...)
My periods aren't normal, but the test was negative.
Q. Im 16 i was late on my last period it eventually came but wasnt like normal. im now late again, i took a test earlier today and it was negative. But im kind of dissapointed, i know i wouldnt be able to support it but i guess part of me wanted a ...
A. 13 May 2008: Part of you got used to the idea that you 'could' be pregnant, now you've found out otherwise it may feel like you've lost something as such.
Don't worry its perfectly natural to get these feelings. And most importantly you recognise that a baby... (read in full...)
What are these stretch marks? Will they fade?
Q. Roughly about 6 months ago i started noticing white stretch marks on my breasts, on my bigger breast ive noticed that the marks arnt that noticible anymore but on my smaller one i find them very noticible and am very worried that they wont fade. ...
A. 13 May 2008: This is much more common than you think, girls just don't generally want to discuss this with their friends. You're a teengaer therefore you're growing and as with this stretch marks do often appear. They can take a while to disappear but they will ... (read in full...)
I got a sore throat from giving a blowjob. Is it a problem?
Q. i recently gave my boyfriend a blowjob for quite a long time. the following day i had a sore throat and put it down to the night of fun before. but when i checked, the top of mouth looked like my blood vessles had burst (like a lovebite but inside ...
A. 13 May 2008: Without sounding disgusting, when sucking excessively does cause blood vessels to burst, so this is probably the reason in your case for the sore throat. It shouldnt be any problem and will go away in a few weeks. In the meantime don't try so ... (read in full...)
What do men like? I feel I am socially awkward.
Q. im a 20 year old woman and have never been on a date before. i wouldnt say that i am unattractive physically however i am very socially awkward and can come across as 'standoffish'. so any tips on how i can come across more likeable, confident...
A. 13 May 2008: It might sound like a cliche, but be yourself. If men find you 'standoffish' then its probably because you're trying to fit a socially acceptable image and are not being yourself and relaxed. If a man dosent appreaciate you as yourself then he ... (read in full...)
My wife discusses our personal problems with friends. I can't face them now.
Q. Can you help? I've been married for three years and everything as been going pretty well, but recently i've found out my wife as been discussing our personal problems with her friends, some of which are married to friends of mine. Now i can barely f...
A. 13 May 2008: Women do talk to their friends about relationships in alot more detail than men. But don't worry, you're friends wives will also be swapping stories about their husbands and they are also in the same position as you and are probably worrying in the ... (read in full...)
I think he is head over heels in love with me, what about u?
Q. Iam dating this guy he really likes me,infact I think he is head over heels in love with me.Iam starting to think he is obsessed with me.At night when Iam sleeping he sleeps really close to me and rubs against me and rubs my back or couresses me in ...
A. 13 May 2008: Yeah he is definitly mad about you! If it seems a bit much, tell him so. Otherwise enjoy being with someone so devoted to you xxx... (read in full...)
I'm 15 and I think I'm pregnant
Q. Can anyone help me? Im 15 and I think im pregnant! my boyfriend is 18 and ive told him but he says I should do what I think is right but last month I was 2weeks late and when I came on my period it wasent even a propa period and ive not come on this ...
A. 13 May 2008: Its best you find out as soon as possible. Are you on the pill? a change in you're periods and mood swings are often a side effect. I see you're from the UK, you can buy tests from home bargains and pound shops in most places and there isnt an age ... (read in full...)
I like a boy...but how can I talk to him?
Q. there is this boy who i realy like we started talking in january and then met (are schools are right by each other) he said to my freind that he liked me and i seemed like a nice person.but we have barely spoken since and i dont know really what to ...
A. 10 May 2008: Why don't you ask him for his phone number?... (read in full...)
My girlfriend wants to move on but how do I get her back?
Q. My girlfriend of 3 and a half years just recently broke up with me. We started dating right when she got out of highschool she is now 22 and i am 25. We were each others first love and now she says she wants to be alone. She says she doesnt really ...
A. 10 May 2008: It isnt neccessarily something you did wrong that made her break up with you. As you have said, you got together at a young age and havent experienced other relationships. Its probable that she feels you both need more life experience before ... (read in full...)
Are there side effects to contraceptive pills?
Q. Hi, my doctor prescribed me some contraceptive pills to ease my stomach pain and shorten periods. I was just wondering if there's any side-effects? I need a bit of reassurance because i'm rather hesitant to take them. Thanks!...
A. 10 May 2008: 60% of women have no side effects at all. However side effects include headaches, nausea, mood swings and tender breasts. There is also a higher chance of deep vein thrombosis, though this is extremly rare and more common in older women.
All pack... (read in full...)
Am I bi-sexual? Why was my girlfriend so understanding? Should I confront my friend?
Q. Recently whilst sleeping around my friends, after a night of drinking, I awoke to discover him fondling me. I didn't say anything and just pretended to be asleep. The fondling progressed into him giving me oral sex whilst rubbing himself up against ...
A. 10 May 2008: Firstly, the fact he did this to you whilst he thought you were asleep is slightly disturbing. It sounds as if he is in denial of what happened and is scared you'll bring this up. If you enjoyed this experience, it doesnt mean you're neccessar... (read in full...)
I'm 5 months pregnant and he's with another girl and he still comes round to sleep with me.
Q. I am so hurt. My ex boyfriend is with another girl even though he knows i'm 5 months pregnant from him. He tells me he loves this girl. He phones me all the time and tells me he will be there for the baby, but he doesn't want to be with me. I feel...
A. 10 May 2008: You deserve so much better than this. He is irresponsible and selfish. It may be difficult, but you must stop allowing him to come back to you when he wants. Giving in and sleeping with him is giving him permission walk all over you. You're primary... (read in full...)
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