New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login244988 questions, 1084410 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap
*yau agony aunt


New Zealand  (Male   XML/RSS

Like what he writes?
... Add *yau to your favourite agony aunts

Want to get in touch?
... Send *yau a private message

*yau's Ratings

Rating: 6.74

*yau's profile:


123456789Next > [9 pages, 333 answers]

Guy at work flirted with me but dropped me for another. Do I confront him?

Q.   There is a guy at work who I thought likes me, but now he behaves as though he hates me. He would always come and try to talk to me and flirt with me, but I realized he liked another girl as well,and because he was talking to me, the girl became ...

A.   10 May 2024: You are there to work. Not to engage in a pathetic teenage drama. Its get outside and start a hobby time for you.... (read in full...)

I am done and he won't grow up

Q.   I recently broke up with my partner of 6 yrs. We started dating and after a whirlwind I found out I was pregnant after my contraception failed. This was a huge shock to me as I had a child already with my precious husband and wasn't planning on ...

A.   9 May 2024: You are afraid to let him go. Admit it. The situations already resolved. Tell him bye, or don't. But at least be honest with yourself. ... (read in full...)

Am I weird for wanting this lifestyle?

Q.   My whole life I’ve never wanted the traditional family life - ie getting married and having children of my own. I’ve always wanted to marry an older man with grown up children and be part of their life, I guess I’ve always wanted a ready ma...

A.   9 May 2024: This is strange as I don't know why you care at this point what others think. They plain and simply don't get you. And probably never will. But it doesn't matter, you know what you want and need and trying to conform will just make you miserabl... (read in full...)

How can I let my Kenyan friend down without hurting him?

Q.   Hello, I used to communicate alot with someone from Kenya years ago. I considered him to be a good online friend. However, I got into a relationship with someone and we didn't talk as much. Recently he messaged me and I'm now single a...

A.   13 September 2023: The best way is quickly and directly. There is no nice way... (read in full...)

We both want to buy a house but I also want to travel

Q.   Hi cupids, I have a bit of a dilemma with my relationship when it comes to finances and matching up with what we both want for the future. For context, I had a turbulent upbringing with both of my parents addicts. I worked really hard an...

A.   13 September 2023: The answer seems to be offer him a deal: We buy a house but we are saving up for the holidays I always dreamed of. His no equals your no. End of story. Go on your holidays. ... (read in full...)

Dating for 2 months and I asked where this is headed

Q.   I’ve been dating this guy for 2 months now. I really like him and feel like things were going really well. I finally thought I’d met someone special. I however asked him where he saw this going and he said he didn’t know I feel really upset and ...

A.   9 September 2023: Way too soon for this. Relax and enjoy the relationship. You deserve to be happy.... (read in full...)

Should I seek therapy after this break up?

Q.   Should i go to therapy 2 months after my break up. Hi everyone, its sucks having to come back to this site cause it means im in trouble again. This time, i need help with coping with my feelings. Around april this year i met a very lovely gi...

A.   9 September 2023: Yes you desperately need therapy. But for your self loathing issues. You need to work on you before you can get involved in another relationship. ... (read in full...)

Partner cheated and I think he's back to cheating with the same girl

Q.   Myself and my partner of 10 years decided last week that we would separate. He slept with a colleague in December 2022 and we tried to move past it, work on the relationship etc but after 4 months he said he couldn’t try any more than what he was ...

A.   22 April 2023: I dont know what you want here? Do you want a relationship or for it to just be over? I think you need to figure out what you want and if you want him what your willing to give to make that happen. Can you trust him? Only you know the a... (read in full...)

What is this married man doing??

Q.   So, there is someone I know who I am NOT allowed to date. Think something like teacher and professor, or employee and superior. However, I don’t see him very frequently. I have a huge crush on him, which I know is awful on its own. Why do I fe...

A.   18 March 2023: I never do understand why people love misery. There are things you can have and things you cant have. The more time you waste on what you cant have the more miserable you will be. I think its time you met someone and started a proper relations... (read in full...)

Parter is making situations for us not to sleep together. I miss the cuddling

Q.   My partner, who I've lived with for many years, has started supposedly joking around by preventing me from getting into bed with him at night. When I tuck our dog into bed, brush my teeth etc and then go to get into my side of the bed, he's ei...

A.   18 March 2023: No your not over reacting. Slap him and make him sleep in the spare room next time.... (read in full...)

I have a crush on a female coworker

Q.   I am a female and have a crush on a female coworker. We have chatted at times through text but I’m unsure if she is interested in women which is fine because we could at least be friends. The problem is she seems cautious even when I mention hanging ...

A.   18 March 2023: She wants to be work friends. Stop making it weird.... (read in full...)

Friend wants her rude& spoilt daughter to attend my birthday weekend.

Q.   ?If anyone can offer any advice I’d appreciate it. My friend has a 13 year old daughter who is very spoilt and has a very bad attitude towards everyone and everything. Before everyone starts ranting sticking up for her- I’ve know h...

A.   18 March 2023: Say no. And tell your friend to send her to her grandparents or whoever. Not your problem.... (read in full...)

After years of putting up with my wife's drunken behavior, she gets sober and 6 months later she is getting righteous on me!

Q.   I first met my wife in college. I drank once in a blue moon, but not really. If was before I met her, but she told me she was a binge drinker who was hospitalized because she threw up blood from an ulcer after a lot of drinking. When we dated we...

A.   24 October 2018: I dont really see the problem here. It seems to be self correcting. You are already cutting back on the drinking. Just switch to cola or whatever earlier. As for her attitude. This is what I would do. I would say. I dont have a problem at all a... (read in full...)

I have a question about porn.

Q.   I have a question about porn. My grandparents are pretty strict and almost never leave the house. Well, they do but Grandma works part time and Grandpa is retired and is actually a Deacon but they are never gone at the same time unless I'm in ...

A.   22 October 2018: There's nothing wrong with wanting help with your urges. Please don't ever think there is. The urges at your age can be annoying and you do need to relieve the stress. If your 18, you can buy a magazine and hide it in your room. Penthouse has fun ... (read in full...)

Can I just turn off some thoughts?

Q.   I have very strong romantic feelings for my cousin and I know its wrong even if she is my step cousin I know its wrong. The problem is I suspect she feels the same way. She plays with her hair when she speaks to me, tries to get closer to me whe...

A.   21 October 2018: This is the sort of thing that blows up in your face and people remind you of 20 years later. Just saying. Adult works, try it.... (read in full...)

Why does every girl that I like want to be "just friends"?

Q.   So I m now 29, for the last several years I haven t been able to start or get a relationship. Every girl I ve shown interest in has turned out to be asexual, gay, not interested and only wants to be "friends". In the last 7+ years I ve asked...

A.   3 September 2017: Need a lot more information here. If your being honest: Are you needy? Desperate? And a bit clingy? Women don't like that. Men don't either btw. Are the women happy to be with you in the beginning? Are you listening to them or just spouti... (read in full...)

Is it common for a man to steal and wear his partner's panties?

Q.   Ok I was with my long distance lover three Months ago.He told Me over the phone that he stole a pair of my Panties ...did I realize they were missing? No... he said When He put them On he got hard... said he liked that the Panties were ...

A.   22 August 2017: Is it common? ..............No. Oddly I did end up with my first 2 gfs panties.... They left them over I assure you. But if you like him, then tell him he owes you a pair back. have fun. ... (read in full...)

How do stop my self from being so nervous before a date.

Q.   How do stop my self from being so nervous before a date. Iv recently started seeing some one new and the first time we meet I'll admit I was pretty drunk. He has looked me up and we are goin on a date. I feel lik the first time I brought him home I ...

A.   22 August 2017: Did you ever see "Theres something about Mary"? There's a scene where a guy advises Ben Stiller's character to masturbate before the date so he wont be nervous. ....Its worth a try. Other than that. Set a time you have to be back so the d... (read in full...)

Should I be concerned about my erratic behavior?

Q.   Should I be concerned about my erratic behavior? A little brief background I am 32 and most of my life I have battled just depression and going to these deep waves of misery. I must admit through therapy and for the first time trying to LISTEN I am ...

A.   22 August 2017: As long as you keep your friendship casual. ie just hang out. Then your fine. You know who you are and what you want. I think you need different therapist. One who is positive and will help you move forward with your life and deal with your i... (read in full...)

Didnt cheat but feel guilty ?

Q.   Me and my gf have dated for about a year and a half. A few months ago. I've never flirted or talked to or tried to cheat on her (never even thought about it. Me and her were going through an extremely rough patch, constantly arguing, and bei...

A.   22 August 2017: Short answer: No you shouldn't feel guilty. Why are you over thinking this? You are allowed to talk to people and ask advice.... (read in full...)

Have I missed my chance to find a man, settle down and have a family?

Q.   What do you do if you want to find someone to share your life with and get married so much that your heart hurts, but you are in your thirties and feel like you missed your chance? I've had lousy luck with guys all of my life. All I want is to...

A.   23 July 2017: I tend to give a lot of guys this advice on how to meet girls. And I think it would help you. Its not where the guys are. Its where you are. If you are going to stay where you are than you are never going to meet the man you want to be with. ... (read in full...)

Why can't my wife understand my need to cross-dress? Why is she so upset that I wore her clothes?

Q.   My wife knows I am a crossdresser so why was she so angry at me when I came home the other night. I was completely dressed, with a full make over, my eyebrows plucked super thin with a high arch in them and my ears pierced. She said she knows t...

A.   10 June 2017: Wow. Just wow. You want her to be ok with your sex change and cheating and eventual divorce. Not to mention stealing her clothes? She should just smile and take it as her life shatters all around her? Yeah, what is her problem? Its not lik... (read in full...)

Man lacks motivation... help!

Q.   Hi guys! So I've been with my boyfriend for almost 6 years now and everything is great.. we'll kind of. He is everything I want in a man, except for one thing, he lacks drive and motivation. As someone who is the complete opposite, it drives me ...

A.   2 June 2017: Have you heard the expression: "Don't push your luck"? Think about that a bit.... (read in full...)

I'm worried how rude the nurses will be

Q.   Im going into hospital tomorrow for a minor procedure and the nurses are known to be nasty, what can i do? Am staying overnight and on the ward im going to overnight on the nurses are well known to be sarcastic and cold... I have spoken to s...

A.   18 May 2017: I mastered the art of letting it go in one ear and out the other. They cant upset you if you dont care. So just no sell them. And be nice Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd get well soon :)... (read in full...)

Do many females masturbate ? I feel ashamed when I do so.

Q.   Do lots of girls/ladies masterbate? I get so paranoid that I'm abnormal for doing it because my friends never talk about it and sometimes someone will make a comment that it's more of a boy thing and I'll feel ashamed. ...

A.   18 May 2017: I feel I need to dispell a myth here. I am not ashamed of masturbating. Ever. Its no big deal and I have no idea why women are so hung up on it. I do not talk about it though and have never spoken to friends about it. Why would I? Its no b... (read in full...)

I hate that I don't want sex

Q.   Hi Everyone! I don't really know where to turn or who to ask for advice. I'm a 24 year old female- have been with my current partner for 6 and a half years. With our up's and downs admittedly. I love this man, I look forward to seeing him eve...

A.   17 May 2017: Your selfish, plain and simple. A relationship is GIVE and take. Not just take. You are only thinking about yourself. Even with Vaginal problems you could easily give him a hand job or oral. But you don't. why? Because your selfish.... (read in full...)

Why won't he apologise?

Q.   I recently posted a question a few weeks ago. My bf and I both live in the UK and we had big argument on his birthday and he refused to accept my card and gifts for him and told me is done. I saw on his Facebook he had been sexting and ...

A.   30 April 2017: This is unfortunately one of those situations. You cant win and will just make yourself miserable trying. I know its hard but you need to move on and leave him behind. Cut all contact.... (read in full...)

What will restore my faith in love?

Q.   Dear Aunts, I got out of a relationship with my ex narcissist. I didnt know he was a narcissist until we broke up and he called me all kinds of names "fat, stupid, not sexy or attractive enough, sperm dish, boring etc" you name it. He humiliat...

A.   30 April 2017: I've heard this from both men and women. I wont lie, its a very selfish world out there. People these days dont really consider their actions and do tend to try things on they shouldn't. Is love real? Yes. It is. Take your time, meet ... (read in full...)

Advice on how women feel about orgasms please?

Q.   My question is for the ladies out there - do you need an orgasm to enjoy sex? Most women I've ever been with have said they don't so I always took that to be true, but the one I'm with now says she does want and expect an O every time... Now I fee...

A.   30 April 2017: Do the 20 minutes of foreplay. This isn't rocket science. Roles reversed you would want he to do it. I think a lot of people forget that a happy relationship is about taking care of each other.... (read in full...)

Is this something to stick with?

Q.   Now just so you know my partner does not want to leave me ....however should I leave him??? I have been through a lot in life I grew up with a compulsive liar for a mother (not spoke to parents for 2yrs)..I have also lost a child when he was 11yrs ...

A.   30 April 2017: Your not really clear on what your angry about. Your sons health is a huge issue and I hope he will be ok. Also I'm sorry about your other child. I only have one daughter and would be miserable if anything ever happened to her. As for your p... (read in full...)

Does this man care?

Q.   I recently returned back from Australia to Ireland to look after a sick relative. My WHV was almost up and I have plans to go back in the near future to some touring that I didn't get to do this time round. 3 months before returning I started a "no ...

A.   30 April 2017: Hi From the Hills in Sydney!!! I would say that he does ant to be with you. You need to be honest with him about what you want though. Do you want a relationship with him is the real question.... (read in full...)

My husband and his co-worker have feelings for each other. What should I do?

Q.   Let me start from the beginning if I may. About 2 weeks ago my husband said one of his supervisors at the factory where he works 3rd shift came up to him while he was loading a truck and harassed him about being too close to a girl who has a bad re...

A.   13 April 2017: I'm disgusted with your husband. The fact that you are pregnant with his second child clearly means nothing to him. Also your daughter also clearly is less important to him that where he can put his dick. He doesn't seem to care about you at all a... (read in full...)

Large wedding or an intimate wedding that we can afford? How can this be resolved?

Q.   “Dan” and I are both 27, living together, and recently engaged and married. We plan to have our wedding in 10 months time however have different approaches on costs and guest list, so we are brainstorming having two celebrations. I prefer an in...

A.   13 April 2017: I've always thought that there are certain days in your life that you should go all out for. Your wedding day is special and thus it should be special. I think if you scale it back you will regret it in the long run.... (read in full...)

My unidentified online friend has reappeared on line. It is him. Should I reveal who I am to him?

Q.   Hi I have a difficult situation. A year ago I met a guy online. All was good but then he stopped texting. Last month we matched on a different website. Neither of us have a photo up. From what he has told me I know this guy is the one who I m...

A.   13 April 2017: Whats the point of not revealing who you are? If any kind of relationship is going to happen, you are going to have to fess up.... (read in full...)

How can we solve our relationship and jealousy issues?

Q.   I've been dealing with jealousy as one of the problems in my relationship lately. I try to ignore and keep it together but nothing is working. A few weeks ago, a girl randomly chatted with my boyfriend through Facebook and I got jealous because ...

A.   13 April 2017: I would say no. As its clear you both want to be together. But maybe its time to give each other a bit of space. By focusing on "you stuff" you will be happier in your life and thus less possessive of him.... (read in full...)

How can I stop ruining every prospective relationship with anxiety?

Q.   I have been single for nearly a year now. In that time through one reason or another I have spoken to and got to know 3 different men (romantically) that I have began to like. It always starts off well in that they are attracted to me, we have a g...

A.   6 September 2016: I cant help but think that you might just need some time to get your head straight. Maybe take a break from men for a month or two and just develop some new interests. For anxiety and low self esteem. I usually recommend trying something creati... (read in full...)

Why? All my life people have taken an instant dislike towards me and I don't know why. What needs to change?

Q.   All through my life I have struggled getting people to like me, people take an instant dislike to me and I don't know why. I'm not rude, I'm polite, I can be painfully shy at times and I think people mistake this as being rude or stuck up. Been ...

A.   6 September 2016: Well I tend to make friends easily so I will try and help. I guess my secret is that I smile and listen. I don't tend to share opinions with people till I'm comfortable with them. Sharing an interest is also great and will help you out with you... (read in full...)

Help with confidence in a relationship

Q.   Hi, the last boyfriend i had took drugs and smoked. Also i had suspicions he cheated on me with his girl best friend. He was nice to me until i dumped him because my parents thought he was bad news. When i dumped him he started saying he wad going ...

A.   11 August 2016: Teens say stupid things all the time, he was just being an ass. Since he was into smoking and drugs, your parents were right, he was bad news. Maybe this time try someone nice and you'll find you have a lot more fun. ... (read in full...)

I am falling for her hard, but I have a boyfriend!

Q.   So I'll get straight to the point...I met this chick on snapchat...I tell her everything and she tells me everything...well we have known each other two months but we talked everyday all day even give the kiss emoji with heart when we went to ...

A.   11 August 2016: This is what I call a "loose, loose" situation. You can continue to make a fool of yourself or accept the reality of the situation. Ditch the girl, she isn't interested in you and since he clearly means nothing to you, ditch your boyfriend t... (read in full...)

I'm unnaturally anxious around boys

Q.   Hi all, I am a 24 yr old girl, single. My mum is a divorcee, a single parent. I have an elder sister who is,now, married... I don't remember my father. I used to go to girls highschool. I had some of guy friends in my college life,but I used to talk ...

A.   26 July 2016: To answer this properly, I would have to ask: What are you afraid will happen with these guys? Do you think they will hurt you or leave you alone and pregnant like your mother? I'll be honest, some will. They will push you for sex and seem to ... (read in full...)

*yau's friends

These are mutual friends, so *yau has added them and they have added *yau!

a_maldita agony aunta_maldita
Abella agony auntAbella
BettyBoup agony auntBettyBoup
BloggerChick agony auntBloggerChick
celtic_tiger agony auntceltic_tiger
EeshaTZ agony auntEeshaTZ
Gauntlet agony auntGauntlet
melanie01 agony auntmelanie01
MONI227 agony auntMONI227
Myau agony auntMyau
Polaroid93 agony auntPolaroid93
SirenaBlusera agony auntSirenaBlusera
skullmaster333 agony auntskullmaster333
soul83 agony auntsoul83
wolfred bane agony auntwolfred bane

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft