New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login245011 questions, 1084534 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap

Why won't he apologise?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Cheating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 April 2017) 8 Answers - (Newest, 3 May 2017)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I recently posted a question a few weeks ago. My bf and I both live in the UK and we had big argument on his birthday and he refused to accept my card and gifts for him and told me is done. I saw on his Facebook he had been sexting and sending money to a girl whole lives thousand of miles away. When I confronted him he said he's not cheating and she's someone who consoles him when he's stressed here. He showed no remorse about it. I asked if he loves her and he insists she's just a friend. I asked if he Ever loved and cared about me he said he has moved on and believe that I was in contact with my ex when we were together. (That's a lie, he only rang me once, and my ex never hurt me so why not be friends) Anyway I stopped all contact with him. He started ringing me. I deactivated my whatsapp, he texted me asking why I've left whatsapp and didn't change my number when my ex was ring me but I've changed it now. I wasted his time. Blah blah. Is this guy serious? He's the one that has been looking at this other girls naked body, sending her money and talking to her whenever I'm not around the whole time we were together and he wants to turn it around on me?!! (The girl knows about me) I'm so angry!??. He texted me he misses me, I have done my crying and I'm moving on because I really loved him, treated this guy like a king and turned every other guy down, we were planning our wedding. But clearly he didn't love me enough. When we broke up he blocked my mums number disrespectful! My mum always liked him and always defended him. Why won't he start by calling my mother to apologise and say sorry to me for disrespecting me like that? Why is he not sorry and remorseful for what he has done? I feel so numb and I only see all his flaws now does that mean this guy aren't shit and I don't love him anymore? Help me aunties. I want to send him a text that will get him thinking. What should I do and say in my situation? I've picked myself up, he has hurt me so much and I want him to regret it. Why is he so selfish??? Thanks everyone for listening and for your advice in advance..x????

View related questions: broke up, facebook, money, my ex, text, wedding

<-- Rate this Question

Reply to this Question


Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!

A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (3 May 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntI remember your other post. You are not over him because you are not letting him go. It is a terrible idea to contact him. He is more than likely not sorry for what he has done, and you getting angry at him won't change that. Even if he does send a message saying sorry after your rant it doesn't mean that he is being honest, and it won't make you feel any better.

It is time to let go. Keep him blocked from everything, including being able to call or message your mobile phone. Carry on with your life and let him go, you will soon learn he was not the one for you. You are far from over him yet, but you will get their just stay strong.

<-- Rate this answer

A reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2017):

He does not apology's because in his brain he feels he's done no wrong... that's his narcissistic streak appearing. No doubt this trait has appeared in your relationship from the beginning of time? There's no remorse, no wrong doing, no apologies to be given by these people. I wouldn't don't hold my breath waiting or expecting respect from this type either.

Of course (as mentioned) if you text him it'll give him satisfaction. So why not go all out and consider a pile of dog doings, place it under the welcome mat at his front door and dream of him stepping in shyte.

<-- Rate this answer


A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2017):

Sounds like you have seen him for his true colours. He isn't apologising because a/ he doesn't think he's really done anything wrong, or b/ he just wants back in with you or wants to now you still want him.

You are split up, he dumped you and prior to hat you found out he's been unfaithful with some woman the other side of the world who he's seen naked?? That isn't any kind of friend I ever had!

I wouldn't bother with him anymore. The fact that he's noticing your not on whatsapp etc he's clearly looking to see where you are at as e likely expected you to continue attempting contact.

The idea that you want to send a text to get him thinking... ? What does this mean? Looks like you want back with him?otherwise why bother ?

<-- Rate this answer


A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2017):

Don't kid yourself you still love him or you wouldn't be angry is a strange thing. ..but you deserve better so go out have fun and let it go ...he was talking to another woman when it got bad here!! Why could he not talk to you or a bloke mate ...move on he's a plonker

<-- Rate this answer


A reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2017):

Wow, you've said a lot about your situation. You are obviously dealing with someone whose behaviour goes to the extreme when they are angry in the relationship. You are seeing the true colours of this man. With the age of social media today, removing someone from your contact list, blocking, etc signifies the end/it's all over?? That is so fickle and simple-minded way of thinking on his part. Not being able to get a text from him or have access to see what's he's up to on social media does not define who you are as a person. Who cares about that!! Focus on you and what you want as an individual. The back and forth that men impose today on relationships is tiring. Be glad you're not married to him because this would be one painful situation to sort out being a newly wed. If you can have the conversation with him to sort out that he needs to hone up and be a man in the relationship and that the immature behaviour will drive you away, more power to you. Let him know clearly where you stand, whether you are going to attempt another go at it or you simply cannot deal with him being so 'all over the map'. A strong relationship with someone you have feelings for takes work on both sides. You will get out of it what you invest in it. All I know is that it will be lots of conversations on both sides and coming to an agreeable end wil make this work out for you both. All the best!!

<-- Rate this answer


A male reader, Myau New Zealand +, writes (30 April 2017):

Myau agony auntThis is unfortunately one of those situations.

You cant win and will just make yourself miserable trying. I know its hard but you need to move on and leave him behind.

Cut all contact.

<-- Rate this answer


A male reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2017):

"Why won't he start by calling my mother to apologise and say sorry to me for disrespecting me like that?"

Because he's not.

"Why is he not sorry and remorseful for what he has done?"

Because he is an amoral, cowardly, lying, cheating scumbag.

"I want to send him a text that will get him thinking. What should I do and say in my situation? I've picked myself up, he has hurt me so much and I want him to regret it. Why is he so selfish???"

Do nothing. Your ego wants the satisfaction of him admitting you're right and he's wrong but that's never going to happen because he doesn't care. If you contact him, all you will be doing is giving him the satisfaction of knowing he's still under his skin. He's selfish because he cares only about himself.

<-- Rate this answer


A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2017):

The choice is yours but I would suggest not texting at all!

This guy backed up his option (you) with his second option and he has called you names and got nasty because you minded.

Also I expect he saw the wedding as an unnecessary expense.

No amount of his soft soaping your mum will alter that.

So keep your dignity and you will find that if he thinks you have seriously had enough then he will be back for more.

If you text he can tell people "Oh she couldnt live without me!"

So show him you have a right to life without a cheapskate who cheats and you will find new guys will come to you like flies around warm meat!

If it ever gets that far!

Because there is a strong chance he is wishing he never put his foot in his mouth as much as he did!

But whats done is done! rappers say, so hold your corner and try to realise your own self worth!

<-- Rate this answer


Add your answer to the question "Why won't he apologise?"

Already have an account? Login first
Don't have an account? Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended!

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft