Am I being hypocritical about seeing married men?
Q. This is a question about the past... I'm just trying to understand if we're "born smart" or do we live and learn... I know I have learnt from my mistake. And if it is ok to forgive oneself at some point… When I was 19 years old I fell in love wit...
A. 28 April 2022: I think the first part of your question is impossible to answer as each and everyone is different and we all have a choice over the decisions that we make.
It's important to remember that no one is perfect, and we all make mistakes, we are all ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend and I broke up due to long distance. Did I dodge a bullet?
Q. My boyfriend (now ex) and I have been a couple for a couple of months, and have been dating for like a year and a half. (In person, I didn’t meet him online, I met him at uni) He went to an exchange program in February, and he isn’t returning ...
A. 27 April 2022: I think that he wanted the relationship over and done with but he is to weak to of stepped up to the plate and actually finished it.
Instead he was handing out glimmers of hope, keeping you hanging on, full of empty promises when he knows fu... (read in full...)
Boyfriend and I are back together but why has he still not told his mother?
Q. Hi everyone. Just some brief background. My boyfriend and I were together for 7 years before we took a relationship break to work on ourselves. We have not seen each other for 2 months but he will be back next month. We have been having FaceTime ...
A. 27 April 2022: I know you were both together seven years, then you took a break to work on yourselves which is a good thing. You have not seen him for two months in person only on face time so its almost like you are both starting again from scratch, as by your ... (read in full...)
Am I been taken for granted
Q. Hi there, I am hoping you guys can help me with something. I have been with my partner now for a few years now and we get on great. Last year, he got himself a dog and I genuinely love this dog a great deal myself. However, I can't help...
A. 26 April 2022: He is most certainly taking you for granted, it is his responsibility to look after the dog not yours, if he can't look after it he should never have got the dog in the first place.
As you say its an hours drive to go over and see him and you ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend does nothing but watch loud women on tv
Q. Hi there, I would like to know what others think about my problem. Firstly I would like to make it clear that in no way am I a jealous person but I do have my own morals and standards. I have been with my partner for about 10 months. In th...
A. 26 April 2022: To be honest there is really no nice way to end a relationship, breakups are always hard.
As far as compatibility is concerned you are both a million miles apart and i feel now you are just going through the motions which as a result is now caus... (read in full...)
Wasting my time with this guy?
Q. I met a guy and we texted back and forth for a few weeks, after we decided to go on a date. We kissed and everything went well, and we continued chatting and video calling. A week passed and he didnt text me following that I reached out to him and ...
A. 26 April 2022: I think there are a couple of red flags here OP, He is taking a while to respond, and he is going off radar for long periods of time.
He is either keeping his options open, or is just being a player and keeping you dangling telling you all the ... (read in full...)
Addicted to soda
Q. My mom reprimanded me again over my addiction to soda which she sells. i steal and drink alot of soda about five in a day or minimum of two and my parents have caution and corrected me alot. i have tried to stop i had gone weeks and months but i...
A. 26 April 2022: A lot of young people such as yourself become addicted to these sorts of drinks because of the high sugar content. Some of these energy drinks are the equivalent to around 8 cups of coffee which are dangerous as its speeds the heart rate up to an ... (read in full...)
What are signs of interest?
Q. I have been talking to a girl for the last 3 weeks. We met online and we have not talked about whether this is only friendship Or if we potentially want more. Some important information: - yes, we have met and hung out -we text each other e...
A. 26 April 2022: I think the fact that she is the one who is usually instigating the conversation is a good sign that she is into you.
Other than that its still really early days so its just a case of getting to know each other and see what unfolds between ... (read in full...)
Sister involved with married man. I am worried about her
Q. My sister who's 28 told me that she's been dating this guy since November (when lockdown had well ended by then, but Plan B was in the news) and that he's married but had been in the process of divorcing his wife since September yet she refuses to ...
A. 17 April 2022: I know it's hard because you feel that your sister is heading down the wrong path with this married guy. At the end of the day she is 28, so all you can really do is offer her advice and be her support network.
This guy is still married, he tell'... (read in full...)
Son found nude photos of me
Q. My 14-year-old son recently came across some pictures of me that his father took of me back when we were teens.we have been together for a long time and got married when I was pregnant with my son. The pictures were in an old shoebox filled with ...
A. 17 April 2022: I think than rather than letting your son think his father is a pervert you should step up to the plate and just be honest with him and tell him the pictures are of you and were taken by his father many years ago.
Ok he should not have looked i... (read in full...)
Needle play?
Q. My new boyfriend has introduced needle play and I'm wondering if anyone else has tried this. I am into new kinky things and actually enjoy needle play. He has done patterns on my belly, back, and my buttocks. It really is not that painful. He uses ...
A. 17 April 2022: I can't say i have ever heard of this to be honest
If you both enjoy it, and as you say its not that painful then carry on and enjoy it. ... (read in full...)
Why is husband so secretive about this restaurant?
Q. I've recently become fed up with my husband after he's been going to a new local restaurant for 5 nights a week last week and also 3 nights this week, he spends a lot of money there. We've only been to it once, and that was to check it out; it was g...
A. 15 April 2022: I have to be honest i find his evasive behaviour very concerning indeed. Not to mention the cost of eating out everynight, he is not divulging who he is with, and is even meeting new unknown people of the internet, which for all we know could be ... (read in full...)
Did the pandemic kill it?
Q. I am a British woman. In June 2019 I met a man during a very short trip to Hungary, a place I really love and was, at the time, thinking about moving to. I was interested in talking to the locals and the man (let's call him Janos, although ...
A. 14 April 2022: I think that you have received good advice from the Aunts and uncles here, so all i can do is mirror the already given advice.
This was never going to go any further than a holiday romance, you gave him what he was looking for and that's when thi... (read in full...)
Married and attracted to female coworker
Q. Help! I'm so confused about what I'm doing! I'm a 32 year old female who has been married to a man for the past 3 years. I've always identified as 100% straight. And now I just don't know what the heck I'm feeling anymore. I started working ...
A. 14 April 2022: I think this is to early to be called love, this is someone that you work with and are crushing on. Unlike love crushes don't last forever, infact can often be short lived.
I know these feeling's make you feel good, and its all you think about, b... (read in full...)
She and I have a crush on each other. How do I go from here?
Q. Hi A member of staff in my child's school has a crush on me ( I am married) and I also have a crush on her. She is in a senior position. I have known she has a crush on me because she kept checking me dropping time, trying to get my attention...
A. 14 April 2022: I think it would be rather extreme putting your child in another school over this, nothing bad has really happened has it.
Just be normal and go about your business, say hello, or just a smile, just like you would do with anyone else. If she choo... (read in full...)
Should I re-friend this old crush?
Q. I met a girl and we both were in relationships through school. The chemistry was so strong between us that I felt like I had to distance us, so I unfriended her. Couple years later I have broken up with my partner (which in hindsight should...
A. 13 April 2022: You unfriended her while you were at school, which according to your age bracket would have been some time ago.
Assuming that you have not seen her, or had contact with her since you were at school, a lot of water has gone under the bridge s... (read in full...)
She and I have a crush on each other. How do I go from here?
Q. Hi A member of staff in my child's school has a crush on me ( I am married) and I also have a crush on her. She is in a senior position. I have known she has a crush on me because she kept checking me dropping time, trying to get my attention...
A. 12 April 2022: I think that maybe she was just being friendly like she probably is with everyone. Maybe she found out that you had a crush on her and is her way of nipping it in the bud before things escalated and got out of hand.
You say you have a crush on... (read in full...)
He asked for my panties
Q. Hi so I'm seeing this guy, we started hanging out 2 weeks back. And then things escalated to a kiss and then cuddles, I am not sure if we're dating or not, I'm scared to ask him but he is now asking me for sexual favors like a handjob, even though I ...
A. 12 April 2022: I think that you are going to have to come to terms with the fact that he just wants you for sexual favours and nothing more.
You have said that you are not interested in anything sexual, but still he persists, another clue that he is just aft... (read in full...)
Should I go to the wedding of an ex best friend that I can't stand?
Q. I have a friend, Pamela, from highschool that I haven't seen in years. She wasn't a real friend, when I was being bullied, she prefered to stay friends with them and even acted as if she wasn't that close to me, which hurt me and I'm glad I went to ...
A. 12 April 2022: I agree with the other aunts here, just simply walk away. You can do exactly what you want to do, you are your own person, you are not in school anymore under the infuence of her and the bullies she was friends with.
By your own admissio... (read in full...)
My dad drove my car drunk
Q. My dad came to my area for a short vacation and is staying at my place. I have to work from home during the day so I let him borrow my car. Today he met up with a friend who works at a bar. The friend served him cocktails and then my dad drove home ...
A. 8 April 2022: I think he has disrespected you twice, i think that you really do have to set some boundries, its your place, and he is essentially a guest in your home.
Driving your car back drunk is a really stupid and careless thing to do, if he had an accid... (read in full...)
Might she still have feelings for me?
Q. Me and my ex still talk. We still have feelings. She still has a reaction if she thinks I’m dating so I guess there’s a possibility we could get together. Only thing I found odd was, we were talking about babies and how she doesn’t want them yet and ...
A. 8 April 2022: Its impossible to say if she still has feelings for you or not.
I don't know the reasons why you broke up in the first place, but the long and short of it is you have broken up, and she is now in a relationship with someone else.
If i wa... (read in full...)
My boyfriend contacted his ex during a trip
Q. Hi DC Aunts and Uncles. I have come here for some advice. Maybe I myself already know the answer but I want to get some input from you. So my boyfriend of 2 mths went on a trip with his friends and just returned home. During his trip away he was...
A. 8 April 2022: He has with her for a decade, he has been with you for two months, so you relationship with him is pretty much still in its infancy, and its very clear he is rebounding.
He clearly still has feelings for her, so the he should never have got into... (read in full...)
What's the deal with my husband and his sexual preferences?
Q. I'm 40, married for 7 years, one child who's 5 years old. I have a wonderful relationship with my husband; we're very happy with our daughter and our life. We have a good sex life. My husband in his day-to-day life is the very serious professo...
A. 29 March 2022: I guess this has always been a fantasy of his, and it seems to come to the forefront of his mind during sex. Although having sexual fantasy's is often a good thing and can be beneficial in a relationship. However in this case when the word violence ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend told me he tried swinging two years into our relationship. Is this a dealbreaker?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years. I love him. I thought I knew all there was to know about his history when he revealed to me he had taken part in a swinger's party when he was younger. Whoa, hold on a minute Fred!!! I was tongue tied and...
A. 29 March 2022: I think that swinging or bringing a third party into a relationship never ends well, just look back on previous posts here at DC and you will see it always ends in a bad way.
I am not saying that this is going to happen in your case. This is ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says he’s not bothered that I cheated, is he just playing mind games?
Q. I told my boyfriend last week that I cheated on him and he didn’t get upset or angry, or even seem the slightest bit bothered at all. Ever since he’s just carried on as normal and says we should just forget about it and move on. Now I can’t tell if ...
A. 25 March 2022: His actions have baffled me as well. Finding out a partner has cheated is not normally something you just brush off and say lets just forget about it.
I don't think many men would be ok with their partners going with someone else, and even wor... (read in full...)
I have a crush on my friend's older brother
Q. Hi so I have a best friend and I absolutely love her brother but he a. Has never acknowledged me once and b. Is like 4 years older c. He might by dating someone but I don’t know. What should I do should I try to get closer to him or should I just m...
A. 24 March 2022: Like the other's told you, i agree i don't think that you should act on this at all. Its just a crush, and crushes tend to be short lived and fizzle away.
Just enjoy crushing on him, but don't act on it. If you still have this crush in 3 or 4 yea... (read in full...)
My husband's former mistress now lives across the street
Q. My fiancé and I have been together for almost 5 years. 2 years ago we bought our first house together. Now, 4 years before we met he was married and cheated on his wife. He never kept this from me and was always honest about it. He was unha...
A. 24 March 2022: Is the only reason that you want to sell is because you don't want to keep seeing her every time you open your front door. Or partly because you are worried that he will get with her again when you are not around.
If its more the latter then is ... (read in full...)
I found emails between my boyfriend and his ex
Q. Hi all. I have a question. I am not sure if it's something I should be worried about. My boyfriend moved to my area a month ago and we have been exclusively dating. We enjoy each other's company and get on well. When we have sex, he doesn't reall...
A. 24 March 2022: At the end of the day ex's are ex's for a reason. I think that unless there is something of a financial nature, or they had children together there is no reason to be in a new relationship and still keep up communications with an ex.
I think at... (read in full...)
My friend always seems to land on her feet
Q. Okay so I expect there will be judgement my way on this but the subject I'm writing in about it really bothering me. I know a woman for over thirty years since we was seventeen years old, I guess in those years I would say a friend. I'm not ...
A. 17 March 2022: You are only getting a snippet of what her life is really like. You could say she puts on a face, in person and on social media, and she may come across as the most confident person in the world, and always lands on her feet, but the reality is ... (read in full...)
Is my straight friend flirting with me or is she just joking?
Q. Curious for some opinions here. I'm an out gay female. A new girl started working at my job recently. She's roughly my age and straight. Seemingly the boy-crazy type of straight. Never been with a woman before. Which is what is so confusing to me ...
A. 17 March 2022: I think she sounds a bit full on in my opinion, especially as you both work together.
She asked for your number straight away, she has not left you alone texting you constantly texting you, then say's she is jealous of other woman in your lif... (read in full...)
My ex is sending me mixed messages
Q. I come out of 4 year relationship. It’s been a few months break in meeting although we spoken daily by phone. Recently she made contact, and we have been speaking about our issues after things have calmed down. However I feel she does not giv...
A. 17 March 2022: I think if you try to give it everything it will be wasted energy as this relationship is over. I feel by keeping up this contact is not healthy for anyone as its just dragging things out. I think that someone has got to step up to the plate and ... (read in full...)
Is this a normal relationship
Q. We have great chemistry and have a really good vibe but sometimes things are just weird with us. Like today we had what felt like an argument about something that happen a while along. The thing is he literally wasn't going to say anything about it ...
A. 17 March 2022: Well all relationships have their ups and downs, its about accepting that no one is perfect, and we all have our own funny ways and quirks, its about accepting these things, then trying to focus on the positives of them instead of dwelling on the ... (read in full...)
Dating for six weeks, and now he thinks he was too eager
Q. I’ve been dating a guy for about 6 weeks. We’ve had some good dates and get on really well. On our last date he asked me if I wanted to be his girlfriend and make it official. I said yes but I wasn’t 100% sure in my head. I stayed over at his home ...
A. 15 March 2022: He was the one who instigated it all, he was the one who asked you to be his girlfriend which you accepted. He was blowing hot, now he is blowing cold, i get the feeling if you keep him around he is going to be constantly blowing hot and cold and ... (read in full...)
He touches me, but does he like me?
Q. I have a best friend who is a guy. We were together for a long time since the time we met. Since sometime we were sitting together for classes and when he or i feel asleep we stroke each other with our hands. just rubbing the hands together was ...
A. 13 March 2022: Personally this is a very weird and creep way of letting someone know you like them, but that in my opinion is exactly what he is, weird and creepy.
If you if you really like someone a respectable person will date for a while and wait to do all t... (read in full...)
Baby mom won’t leave him alone!
Q. His baby mom won’t leave him alone. His baby mother told him she will never allow him to happily be with someone else and has been tormenting us ever since. She’s in another country. What I’m upset is about the fact that I have given 200 p...
A. 11 March 2022: It's an awkward situation to be in, i don't know how old the child is, but if he/she is still very young then you could be dealing with this for a number of years.
My son is older now, but when he was younger she was similar to your boyfrien... (read in full...)
My girlfriend wants to experiment with my friend
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together since we met in high school. It’s been 6 great years, but the value of our relationship I’d say is that we’re best friends. Our chemistry, our humour, our bond has never failed us. But sexually, we have ...
A. 10 March 2022: Bringing a third party into a relationship is never a good idea and they more often than not never work out, just have a look over some of the other older posts here on DC and you will see.
It could spell the end of your relationship if she star... (read in full...)
Should I be suspicious of his reason for standing me up?
Q. Should I be suspicious? I had a date set for Friday. Then I never hear from him until Sunday night. He claims his coworker has a stroke and was busy with that. I said sorry to hear it but declined to reschedule. Now I’m the bad guy. I don’t see how ...
A. 10 March 2022: This happened on the Friday, i don't believe that he was in ER from Friday all the way to Sunday so if he could not have told you on the Friday he surely could have on Saturday.
I think if it was me and i was at ER with a co-worker and i knew i h... (read in full...)
Should we end it?
Q. Hi all, I've been with my partner almost 2 years (2years in may) we are both 38. I have a 4 year old boy from a previous relationship. He has no kids. I've made it known to him that I would take our relationship to the next level. I.e living t...
A. 9 March 2022: It seems to me that you have got more negative things to say about this relationship than positive, and neither of you are on the same page with regards to what you want and future plans.
By you own admission you say your on your own paths, a... (read in full...)
It's been so many years and this guy still continues to pursue me.
Q. I met this guy in 2014 at an academic international conference. We were both representing our country in our respective disciplines. I was in a deadbeat relationship at that time and this guy was married. We hit it off really well and at time at ...
A. 8 March 2022: I'm going to cut to the chase here, you say should you meet him if he comes back?. Well i'm suprised that you even have to ask that question to be honest, it should be a big fat NO without even having to think about it.
He is married, or at least... (read in full...)
My long term boyfriend left me a year ago and came back, saying he'd never leave me again. And he just left me again!!!! I am devastated!!!
Q. My boyfriend left me and went down to the US to see his mother alone. We had planned to go together in two weeks but he went ahead and left without even telling me. We were having issues and were on the phone the day before and the next morning when ...
A. 8 March 2022: I know its hard, break ups are never easy, especially as you have been messed around and let down twice by him.
He let you down once, you forgave him the second time because you believed his lies about how he has changed and how he is going to... (read in full...)
My teacher kiss me
Q. Hi, i am 15 and i was kissed by my teacher. He wrote a poem to me which i got confused about as a cooperation to write poem but it was a love letter. I don't know his age but he is the range of late 20's to early 30's he is a flirt he hugs some ...
A. 8 March 2022: If this post is genuine then you have to report this immediately. You need to tell your Mum, and hopefully your Mum will know the correct channels to go down.
He is in a position of trust, a position of power, and you are a child. He must be repor... (read in full...)
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