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*adzia1127 agony aunt


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*adzia1127's profile:

I guess you could count the seven years I spent at university as my qualifications. Yet as I have gotten older, my life has given me a lot more insight into people and how life plays out then all the professors combined.

I work in the community I live, where I also volunteer, run a local jogging group, work with the Hispanic community with my husband, and I am a soccer, track, swim mom.

Yet I like a good laugh and my icon is one of them. If you look closely you can see the big hair, puffy sleeves and shoulder pads of the 80's, hey a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do to pay for school and modelling is a good way to do it. Now my family and I get a good laugh over some of the pictures, they are a riot.

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He says my daughter and I provoke him-we make him take things out on us! What should I do?

Q.   My husband and I are both in our mid 30's and have been married almost a year. Prior to getting married, we dated for 7 years. He works in law enforcement and I believe that is the root of his temper. He gets upset over many different things and ...

A.   25 February 2007:  To lay blame on the feet of the person taking the verbal or physical assault is a classic abuse technique. It is denial and it is a two way street. He can deny his control over the abuse and you can deny that it is abuse. If fear and lack of ... (read in full...)

I find it hard to get the bigger picture when forming some kind of opinion about people.

Q.   I find it hard to get the bigger picture when forming some kind of opinion about people. Like i notice an imperfection in someone that is hard to tolerate, for example -fat women. Similarly, people who don't use their own brain and instead use ...

A.   25 February 2007:  To judge a person by their physical appearance just shows that you are insecure with your own appearance and lash out on to others. You know as well as everyone else judging people will not change what they look like or what you look like. The ... (read in full...)

Is the terrible relationship w/ my parents worth salvaging?

Q.   My parents and I have a terrible relationship. They always criticize me for everything - be it what I'm wearing, how the furniture in my house is arranged, learning foreign languages, traveling, ANYTHING. They also dislike my husband and even make ...

A.   22 February 2007:  I am very happy that you are taking a stride in the right direction for your mental health and self-esteem. Stick to the no contact no matter what they say, even if that means throwing away any email, letter, phone call unopened, unan... (read in full...)

Why is my girlfriend so open? She knows all about her Aunt's fanny, her brother's sex life, and more!!

Q.   Why is my girlfriend so open? She told me once that her auntie had a vaginal problem and went into detail about it. She knows all about her brothers private lifes and is so open about sex and pregnancy that it really really irritates me. I think it ...

A.   8 February 2007:  What you described is a lack of manners. It is not proper for a family member to air the dirty laundry of others. Many find this irratating, and your only recourse with this kind of slandering gossip is to refuse to listen. If she keeps it up t... (read in full...)

Is the terrible relationship w/ my parents worth salvaging?

Q.   My parents and I have a terrible relationship. They always criticize me for everything - be it what I'm wearing, how the furniture in my house is arranged, learning foreign languages, traveling, ANYTHING. They also dislike my husband and even make ...

A.   16 January 2007:  It is usually one parent that is the actual abuser and the other is the enabler backing the other up. Both are abusive and both hurt. It is often one child in a group of siblings that will be the scapegoat and get the full load of abuse. This is ... (read in full...)

Should I tell my boyfriend to shave off his pubes?

Q.   GUYS! do you shave your pubes? whenever i give my boyfriend a bj i get a lot of hairs in my mouth. i said he should shave but i was kidding. should i tell him to for real? i just want to know if he is just extra hairy or what?...

A.   15 January 2007:  When a man keeps his hair trim and tidy it often allows for more sensation. Many men don't even think of shaving or trimming until asked to. It might be easier to make a mention of this increased sensation to get him excited to try a decr... (read in full...)

He assumed I was on the pill... do I tell him about the abortion that I thought affected my ability to conceive?

Q.   I withheld information from my ex. We began having sex, using condoms, then he stopped wearing them and didn't withdraw. I didn't care because I had cervical scarring from an abortion (age 23) that was performed too early. My doctor said it was ...

A.   12 January 2007:  First off, CONGRATULATIONS, many women go through what you have and never are able to have children. Your baby is a miracle and I hope you know how blessed you are. There are hundreds if not thousands of women who wish for exactly what your going ... (read in full...)

Why are girls who sleep around called sluts, but guys who sleep around called studs? Is this fair?

Q.   Why are girls who sleep around called sluts, but guys who sleep around called studs? And why do women enforce this stereotype? I mean when a woman sleeps around she is called a slut and looked down upon by men and women. Men love her because they...

A.   1 January 2007:  In past generations what you have said might have been true but now with STD's, AIDS, internet gossip, and virginity being valued, a slut is a slut, male or female. Some youth are being taught the old generations prejudices, but many are breaking ... (read in full...)

I moved to Spain with my nasty second husband. I want to move back to England, but all my ties are in Spain.

Q.   I live in Spain with my second husband and all my ties are here. My husand turns very nasty when he has had a drink. He dos´nt hit me but he says very horrible things about me and my two daughters. I am now getting to a point I am so fed up of it. I ...

A.   20 December 2006:  As I understand what you're saying, Your husband is being verbally abusive towards you and your children. For reasons you listed you're not protecting yourself or your daughters from this abuse. Facts of abuse, it only gets worse. It is only... (read in full...)

Why is it that men split with women and don't really give them a reason why?

Q.   Hi Cupids, Why is it that men split with women and don't really give them a reason why? I am 25. It doesn't happen to me often but it has done recently. I really liked a guy and he tried to avoid me for nearly a month then we did meet up he said ...

A.   20 December 2006:  This is a cowards way out of a relationship. Cowards have problems with resolving conflicts and being truthful. Just be thankful you got any type of resolution from him, but don't put too much weight in his words. Cowards often say all sort... (read in full...)

Im 34 and have never had a boyfriend, what the hell am I doing wrong!!!?

Q.   I'm 34 and have never had a boyfriend. I have a very good full-time job, a lucrative business on the side, spend a lot on my clothes, hair and appearance, have interesting hobbies, read newspapers and books, go to the gym and generally take care of ...

A.   20 December 2006:  The women that date all the time and seem to have a different guy every night if they want it, have taken control of their dating. These are the women that ask the guy they are talking to if they want to go get coffee later. The worse that can ... (read in full...)

Student Nurse with eyes for another, what shall I do?

Q.   I'm an 18 year old student nurse and I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years. I started my course in September and I met a really sweet doctor who asked me out. Although I like him alot, I said no but now I've come home from uni for the holidays I ...

A.   18 December 2006:  To live life is to live with regrets just choose the regret that won't haunt you. If you think this doctor could be your one true love, how much will you kick yourself for letting him go? Or if your BF and you have a perfect relation... (read in full...)

I always go for the bad there nothing I can do to make more sensible decisions?

Q.   This is no doubt a very common problem, but I always fall for the 'bad boy', and as I result I always end up getting hurt. There are guys I know who are totally into me who are really nice guys, and that are very compatable with me, but I'm just not ...

A.   9 December 2006:  You choose who you fall for. It's a lie that is perpetuated as an excuse that love is an accident and not a choice. Now to why your choosing wrong: 95% of women have been victimized by a man in their life (mentally, verbally, physically, sexu... (read in full...)

I know I want to be with her

Q.   Hi. I know a lot of people ask these types of questions here, but every one of us has an experience that is just a tad different. For starters, I am a 24 year old male, married with a 5 year old little boy and a little girl on the way. I have been ...

A.   8 December 2006:  You know the right thing to do and it sounds like you don't feel you can do it, so at least do your absolute best for your little family in making sure they will be great without you. Set a date months after the birth of your baby, tell your... (read in full...)

How can I control my temper more and just ignore the little things about him that bother me?

Q.   I have been with my partner for nearly 3 years now. I love him very much but I seem to have strange urge to destroy our relationship by letting little things about him get to me and, instead of just mentioning what is annoying me once I will get ...

A.   7 December 2006:  You didn't list any of the things that annoy you, one way to help with anger control is to think it all out. This would be a good exercise for you. Keep an anger journal and when he does something you can list the whole incident in detail. Then ... (read in full...)

The only way his sister can come here is if he divorced me and married her. I don't know what to do. Help!!

Q.   my husband sister lives in india. she is bedridden for the past 10 years due to an accident. her family have tried to bring her to london but no luck. now there are saying that there is only one way possible. my husband surname is different to her ...

A.   7 December 2006:  It has already been pointed out that this is illegal and many things can go wrong. Yet I know how pushy family can get and they will make you feel like the bad guy. If you do get pushed into this, make sure you have a legal documents stat... (read in full...)

I have the ability to read people and it's affected my relationships!

Q.   I've had a problem since i was a kid. I have the ability to read people, know when someone close is in trouble, what is in their hearts. This affected my relationship with my mum and boyfriends. As a kid i had a bestfriend. Anytime she is about to ...

A.   7 December 2006:  Your mum was wrong in trying to keep friends away from you. No matter what you can do, you need people around you to learn how to handle it socially. Just go slow with your boyfriend and no matter what you 'read' about him don't do anything you ... (read in full...)

Can anyone tell me how to keep a conversation going? Tips appreciated!

Q.   hi can anyone tell me how to keep a conversation going? in school i have a free period and go to a spare class where a girl i like goes. we are good friends and get on well but i never know what to say to her. i will ask her a few questions and...

A.   3 December 2006:  Keep updated on news, entertainment, music, movies, wierd news Expand what you know and you wil... (read in full...)

What should I get my 6month boyfriend for xmas?

Q.   It is my first xmas with a boyfriend. by that time we will have been dating for almost 6 months, but i dont know what on earth to get him for xmas? Any ideas? The only thing i have thought of is terribly unromantic (a wireless keyboard ...

A.   1 December 2006:  If you want an x-mas that both of you will never forget, do something in the spirit of christmas. Instead of giving gifts to each other you get gifts for needy children or a family. You can shop together and wrap the gifts together. You can ... (read in full...)

Why am I still single?

Q.   why am i still single? ...

A.   1 December 2006:  Rhythmandblues2 has it right, you are single by choice. There are plenty of fish in the sea that would love to date you, but for one reason or another you're ignoring them. It is not a bad thing to have high standards in dating it just ... (read in full...)

Is dating guys from the internet a good idea?

Q.   Is it a good idea to date guys on the internet if you find difficult to meet new people?...

A.   29 November 2006:  ?You old? You're only 29 years old. Most women don't even start their sexual peaks until in their thirties. Online is a path to dating others but don't sell yourself short. The secret to attracting men isn't age, hair color, breast size, or w... (read in full...)

I want to confront my friend about her having an affair with one of our teachers!

Q.   I'm really suspicious of one of my friends because i think she having an affair with one of the teachers at our school! Before you think its my over active imagination consider this: 1.she nearly called him by his first name (we aren't even in his c...

A.   28 November 2006:  If you had a secret to hide would you flaunt it as your friend is doing? Is your friend stupid enough to risk a teacher's career by publicly flirting with the teacher she is sleeping with? Is this teacher that stupid to risk his career, with... (read in full...)

I want kids but he does not. We're very happy otherwise, so should we split?

Q.   Hi everyone, I have just read questions very similar to my own but I still feel compelled to write. I have been with my partner for nearly 3yrs and I have to say that he is the most kind, sincere and funny man I have ever met. I am very much in ...

A.   28 November 2006:  Love and relationships are an investment of your time, talents, trust, and heart. Youth see love as something that gets dumped on you, but Love is something you work long and hard on. With all that investment it is hard to end a relationship ... (read in full...)

I'm auditioning for a play. Any tips on how to calm my nerves?

Q.   Im 16 and have this huge ambition to be a succesful film actor. I really believe I can do it. The dream fills me with adrenaline and I cant stop thinking about it. But Im scared of leaving the security of home to do it, and my parents dont have ...

A.   19 November 2006:  The best way for nerves is to be prepared, and in acting that is your auditioning skills. Your skills do not vary from Day to day, luck does. You can twist luck in your favor by being prepared and working on the skills that the director will... (read in full...)

I'm a shy teenager and all my friends are dating! I'm something wrong with me?

Q.   hi, im a 16 yr old teenager whos very shy and at the moment feeling quite alone. All my friends are now couples and never have time go out because they are always with their other halfs. I have never had a proper boyfriend there something ...

A.   10 November 2006:  Broaden your social and educational horizons, join a club at school, join the newspaper, learn a musical instrument, try-out for a play. As for your friends the teens that become the most successful are the ones that didn't get all caught up i... (read in full...)

Is she and her Mom hinting that I get an engagement ring? Am I paranoid or what?

Q.   Okay this may sound paranoid but, It has almost been a year since me and girlfriend have been together and too mark the occasion we have both decided too buy each other something that we can wear / keep. While I was unsure what too buy her sh...

A.   10 November 2006:  It does sound like she wants a ring. At your age I doubt an engagement ring, maybe a promise ring if you need to put a meaning behind a piece of jewelery. ... (read in full...)

Bad hair days for me! Does anyone know of good websites that show good hairstyles? Help!

Q.   I'm 18 so I'm going out with my friends tomorrow. I think I look ok facially and physically but I have one problem - my hair. Even when I gel it after a haircut, it looks terrible and I try and copy how the hairdressers did it in the salon. Even the...

A.   7 November 2006:  If you have a lot of trouble with your hair accepting styling you can get a very short cut and style it right out of the shower when it's still wet, by combing it. If your really worried you can go to a stylist and get your hair styled by a pro ... (read in full...)

Sex before marriage? Opinions please....

Q.   Someone once told me that it would be better if I slept with a few guys before finding the one to marry. They told me that way I would really get to know men before I settle and get out of the lust stage. I'm almost 19 and I haven't slept with ...

A.   4 November 2006:  You sound like a very smart girl. As for options: I could list the pro's and cons of everything listed already and give you other scenarios and reasons why and why not to, that haven't even been mentioned. The question for you is how w... (read in full...)

Do women have sex with someone even though they do not want to?

Q.   do wemon have sex sometimes because they feel trapped, and cant get out of it? Do they have sex with someone even though they do not want to? My friend told me she had sex with this guy because she could not find a way out of it. She did this twice ...

A.   4 November 2006:  Date rape, Marital rape are both examples of women not wanting sex. Date rape is hard to get a conviction even when a girl says no. Marital rape is even harder to prove. Just because a woman didn't say no, doesn't mean she wants to have sex.... (read in full...)

Saw him goofing off at school with 2 other girls! I'm pretty I over-reacting??

Q.   saw him with 2 other girls!! okay I know I dont own him and all but when A guy says he likes you and shit and always wants to hang out and have sex with you and shit means he really likes you right?? after we talked on msn and the phone for ...

A.   4 November 2006:  Trust your gut feeling on this one. It does sound like your getting played. A man should respect and love you and you him, before you even consider any sexual relations with him. Mom's tell this to their children to try to keep them from the ... (read in full...)

I want to be more than friends with him! How do I do this?

Q.   There is this guy in my art class who I have gotten feelings for. He is athletic, funny, sweet and artistic. We only really talk in that class but I see him in the halls. He is single and so am I. His last gf cheated on him. I wanted to go to ...

A.   4 November 2006:  Try asking him over to help you with homework, or a project. Ask if he wants to attend a future function (dance, party, etc.) with you. The only thing that changes friend status is time and developing the friendship beyond just friends. So... (read in full...)

He told me how great the sex was, with his ex gf! Now I feel that he doesn't enjoy sex with me! What can I do?

Q. boyfriend and I were talking the other day about how I never have an orgasm from intercourse. He always has to go down on me to make me have one. So, anyway, we were talking and he told me that his ex used to orgasm from intercourse and that ...

A.   4 November 2006:  All women are different, but your boyfriend is deluding himself. I will let you in on a secret; Your boyfriend's ex was FAKING it every time except that one time and when he went down on her. Women who have a discharge when they come have a ha... (read in full...)

Does he like me or is he just being polite and doesn't want to hurt me?

Q.   I need some advice please. Some friends and i went interstate a couple of years ago and i met a guy. We clearly had an attraction to each other, even though we didn't talk. I had a crush on him. My last trip, he got my number from a friend o...

A.   4 November 2006:  The chances of a long distance relationship working are extremely slim. Texts and phone calls are nice but they don't hold a candle to a long embrace or a loving kiss. It is obvious he liked you when he took so much effort getting your numb... (read in full...)

I love him but he doesn't really like kids...and I have three children from my past marriage. What should I do?

Q.   Hi I'v been dating my bf for 2 yrs now and i love him very very much. we get along great we share all our deepest thoughts and dreams. we go out all the time for meals and meet up with friends after for a drink, we often just stay in and enjoy each ...

A.   4 November 2006:  This is not where your answers lie. Your answers are in your boyfriend. Ask him if he has a problem with kids, with your kids, with you having kids. Tell him you're asking these questions because of what he said. Be open and honest with him.... (read in full...)

We have this wonderful relationship, but there's no sex! Should I plan a future with this man?

Q.   Can a man (after 3 and half yrs) love you, want to live rest of his life with you (as he does) but not necessarily want too much sex? If you love someone, doesnt sex and intimacy follow? We can cuddle in bed. Not too much out of bed tho. Not much ...

A.   4 November 2006:  His sex drive could have lowered as he got older. He might see you as something special, not just another sex toy as previous girlfriends, and not know how to deal with it. He might think your too special to do the things he did with oth... (read in full...)

I'm stuck in this dead end relationship with a man I don't love! Help!

Q.   I have been with a guy who is 15 years older than me for 6 years. I got with him when I was 17, and I ended up moving in with him within 3 months of us seeing each other, it was a complicated situation, I felt like I was being forced into it. ...

A.   4 November 2006:  You need time to stand on your own two feet before you get married. You went from being a teenager to an adult relationship before trying out the adult world yourself. You skipped this step in growing up by getting involved with this olde... (read in full...)

Brotherly love

Q.   I have been involved in a sexual relationship with my younger brother for nearly twenty years now. We first had sex when he was twelve and I sixteen. I became pregnant with his child and gave birth to a healthy baby boy. Unsure as to what I should ...

A.   28 October 2006:  I tried to figure out the math of your age and your brother's age and find you both a bit young (especially your brother) to be considering such a serious decision. Anyone involved with someone under the age of 21, loves them and wants what is b... (read in full...)

I can't compliment his penis now

Q.   Help please. My partner has somehow got it in to his head that I am not satified with his male anatomy. He believes this because I haven't specifically commented on his anatomy directly over the course of our relationship. I have always told him ...

A.   28 October 2006:  Most men see their penis as not as much a part of their body but as a separate entity with it's own reactions and impulses. It is like a beloved friend and for you not to notice it, would hurt a man's feelings. Most women have NO clue the rela... (read in full...)

All we do revolves around sex

Q.   I am 'meeting' up with this older guy (31) we met a year ago (i am 18) but all we do revolves around sex. We meet up every couple of monthes when he is working near me, he'll call me when he is horny to talk about sex we never had a proper ...

A.   28 October 2006:  If you haven't met his family or friends and he hasn't met yours, it is a huge sign that this is not going anywhere for him but into your panties. If he hasn't talked of a future with you then it's a huge sign this is going nowhere. If your future ... (read in full...)

She wants her space and freedom but still wants my money

Q.   ok now i really don't know what is going on... Me and my gf (ex now...) broke up 2 months ago, she said she wanted some space and that she doesn't have feelings for me anymore. I love her dearly, and treated her with all my love when we were tog...

A.   28 October 2006:  There is no romantic future for the two of you as long as she doesn't respect you. You know she is using you that is obvious. If she cared about you at all she would never think of taking your uni money. You're just an OPEN WALLET TO HER. A woman ... (read in full...)

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