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*ateyes

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*ateyes's profile:

Hi...I'm Norma!

I live in the great state of Texas - born and raised in Houston. I have been divorced for 13yrs and have no children.(nor any plans - giving birth that is!) I am 43yrs young and enjoy my everday life! I have an excellent career as a VP & Branch Manager.

I can only say that any advise coming from me, would be an honest one. Mostly, it's from the heart, added with a touch of brains, common sense and compassion. I think everyone has done "something" in their life and has learned from it. For those of us who have, if we can help someone else not make the same mistake or maybe we might have first hand experience in, what a blessing that can be.

http://www.myspace.com/cateyes622

Latest articles:

Till Death Do We Part - A True Story

This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

30 June 2007: Doesn't anybody stay together anymore? In this day and time, it is so easy to get a divorce or even better...just live together to "see if it works out" first. Don't get me wrong, I personally believe there are good reasons to divorce, and I know I ...

1234567Next > [7 pages, 246 answers]

Met online, had great time but now he says it won't work?

Q.   hi met this gut on line dating been out over past 5 weeks chemistry is there he said hed fallen in love with me from the moment he saw me now he says it wont work hes a lovely guy and id like it to work what advice can you give i miss him...

A.   23 March 2009: I wish you could have went into this a bit more...but it almost sounds like a dating scenrio I had last fall. I met a man online, we went out, hit it off...dated for 7 weeks. I knew something wasn't right in the 3rd week, just couldn't put my ... (read in full...)

Am I wrong to leave or should I stay for our youngest daughter, who also tells me to leave him.

Q.   Hi I've been married for over 21 years to the same man we have 2 children one is 21 the other is 12. I've found several signs of my husband cheating on me and I'm ready to leave but I just don't know if it's the right thing to do. I guess because ...

A.   23 March 2009: Wow...even your own daughter tells you to leave, that should say something to you. However, let me at least ask you this, when you first caught him cheating and or even the other times, did you forgive him and move forward to talk and better your ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend emotionally distances himself from me.

Q.   My bf emotionally distances himself from me. He takes a situation and makes if into something major and then hides for days or weeks. I think he does this to prevent himself from getting too close. Yes I know he loves me but I know he is fearful. ...

A.   22 March 2009: If someone truly loves you, I personally don't believe they would place distance between you...they would want to see you and everyday. Now, he really could be afraid of committment, however, if he is he is more then likely not going to change. ... (read in full...)

Nearly 35, single and child-less - HELP!!!!!

Q.   Hello there - I am typing this after yet another failed relationship! I am nearly 35 and can't seem to meet anyone to settle down with. I'm attractive, fun, have a wide circle of friends and generally love life, but after one failed relationship ...

A.   16 October 2008: First of all, don't panic! I understand EXACTLY what you are saying and I am even older then you. I'm 42. Failed marriage by the time I hit 30, and 2 other relationships that failed as well...repeat of number 1 and you would have thought I'd had ... (read in full...)

The married man I'm seeing wants to work at his marriage but also have me

Q.   I have been with married man for approx. 1 year, we fell in love with each other within 2 months. In the past couple of months he has had tough times in his marriage once she found out about me. he has decided to work on his marriage, but he still ...

A.   12 October 2008: He is only telling you this so if it doesn't work out with his wife, he has you to fall back on. He made his decision to stay with his wife, you just have not accepted it. He will say whatever he wants to you in hopes that you will hang on incase ... (read in full...)

Should I kiss it off, or fight for her?

Q.   I am not well. I have trouble with the drink, and have spent many years sober, in fact, all but seven of the last seventeen years I was able to stay clean. I have a great job, and by most accounts I am doing okay, but have a tendency to go o...

A.   7 October 2008: I can only say that all what was said below is to be very true and I don't think it needs to be repeated. What I will say is that going on these binges, even if every once in a while does not make you clean, your just starting back over from the ... (read in full...)

Should my wife mourn me for the rest of her life or move on? I'm terminally ill.

Q.   I don't know how to start, but I've been diagnosed with a 'potentialy terminal illness'. There is about a 50% chance I won't live more than a year. If I go into remission, then I guess we take it month by month from there on. We have 3 kids, alm...

A.   2 October 2008: First let me say I am so sorry to hear of your terminal illness. Second, I commend you for thinking so much of your wife and her well being, however, remember, NO ONE knows for sure how long ANYONE has on this earth. Personally, I feel you should ... (read in full...)

He sleeps separately from his wife and I've waited 2 years! Why won't he give me a time frame?

Q.   I've been in love with a man for 2 years who is married. He loves me very much, wants to marry me, and plans to move out of home. I believe him - don't think it's just another married man has an affair episode. He sleeps separately from his wife ...

A.   20 July 2008: I know you want to hear all the "good" stuff, a good possible out come - and there could be, but quite frankly, if he hasn't left, then I feel there is more to it then what he is telling you and he has kept you still hanging on for his reasons and ... (read in full...)

I need some ideas for my anniversary book, please.

Q.   I'm gonna do a coupon book for our anniversary and all i have in it is a message. Any ideas of what to put in there? Thanks....

A.   30 June 2008: With your "coupons", I think it would be nice to throw some pictures in from when you got married, maybe before, during and after...if you have any love letters or notes that you kept, even something from your honey moon...just not All about ... (read in full...)

I think I have committment problems, I really need advice!!!

Q.   Hi I think I have commitment problems but really need advice as it could be something else. I was very unhappily married for 10 years with a man who used to be emotionally abusive but felt really stuck and trapped in that marriage - I married young ...

A.   28 June 2008: A part of me says in a way I can relate from one of my past relationships. What I think is, that you are still feeling and viewing things from your past. I don't feel you ever REALLY let go of them. I think because you were emotionally abused, it's ... (read in full...)

Is he messing around with his old girlfriend?

Q.   I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years and have never really thought he would ever cheat on me, but the other night he forgot his cell phone when he went to work so I peeked. I found a text message to an old girlfriend that he had sent stating " ...

A.   5 June 2008: Only thing...time and keep yourself occupied with ANYTHING that you like to do! That's really about it. Best of luck to you...and I mean it! :)... (read in full...)

When the person you love lies and cheats on you...

Q.   Love is like playing Russian Roulette, and nobody ever wins. When you fall for a guy/girl, it feels like euphoria. Your heart is pounding, sweaty palms, butterflies in your stomach, and you experience fantasies in your mind about what you want to do ...

A.   4 June 2008: I can relate in SO MANY ways, and I understand the hurt you are going through. I can only wish that GOD will heal your heart soon. There is more to love, then love. However, I also believe that you should truly enjoy being with the one you are ... (read in full...)

I can't let go of my ex now we are just friends

Q.   hey, broke up with my boyfriend about 8 months ago, and I have constantly texted him I dont know why. Think I still want to feel close to him as he has moved away. I have wished him best for the future and have not tried to get him back, just wanted ...

A.   4 June 2008: I think it's true what they say...If you love something set it free, and if it comes back to you it's yours. BELIEVE me, I know it's hard and I know it hurts when they may not call, however, it's better to know the truth then have someone around ... (read in full...)

I've been seeing a married man but now when he wants to move in with me I get cold feet, what do you think I should do?

Q.   i have been seeing a married man for eight years and now he tells me he wants to leave home and move in with me. problem is i dont want him to i know if he cheated on his wife with me for years i cant expect anything but the worse from him but at ...

A.   3 June 2008: If his wife caught him cheating with other "women", not just you...I would hope you wouldn't let him move in with you and why are you concerned about his feelings? Sounds like all he wants to do is see other women, not just you. With you as the ... (read in full...)

Is he messing around with his old girlfriend?

Q.   I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years and have never really thought he would ever cheat on me, but the other night he forgot his cell phone when he went to work so I peeked. I found a text message to an old girlfriend that he had sent stating " ...

A.   3 June 2008: The first thing I think is what made you "peek"...was there signs prior to make you want to look at his phone? I'm not saying what you did was wrong, but it does make me think "something". What did he do for Memorial Day weekend, did he spend them ... (read in full...)

Should I make a stand that he stop drinking so heavily?

Q.   My husband and I have been married 13 years. When dating, we both liked to drink and party quite a bit. Now our children 12 year old twins) are older, and I find that I am not as interested in drinking nearly as much as he. Yes, I have changed,...

A.   3 June 2008: I agree very much with what Irish49 has stated. Once being married to an alcoholic, there drinking ONLY becomes progressive with time. The ONLY thing I can say, is that YOU cannot make him quit. He has to want to, otherwise, he has to face his ... (read in full...)

Married and confused, I'm falling out of love with my husband and in love with my ex!

Q.   Please Help... I am 29 years old and have been married for 6 years. I have recently had 2 children and my marriage is totally boring. My husband and I do not see eye to eye on almost every issue. We were raised and grew up completely opposite of one ...

A.   27 May 2008: It's easy to talk to someone else other then your spouse. If your spouse loves and cares for you, he will listen and will make the time to listen to what all is bothering you and what changes can take place for the both of you to make...I'm sure ... (read in full...)

Should I get a tummy tuck?

Q.   I'm a plus size lady that has big tits and ass but the only thing is my stomach is also big. i've lost weight but my stomach didn't go anywhere. i don't have any problems with the guys but i want to get rid of it. should i get a tummy tuck?...

A.   27 May 2008: If you have the money, I would say great, HOWEVER, I wouldn't do anything until you have done all you can do to transform your body to the best you can. That takes alot of control and determination in doing it. Remember, even getting surgery, you ... (read in full...)

Do we confront her about our uncomfortableness and leave my wife alone?

Q.   My wife and I have been married for quite a few years. We have a great marriage, great house, great kids, great dog and cat..... Anyway, her friend of a few years (I think they are friends about 5 years, it's way after we were married) is gett...

A.   22 May 2008: Personally, if I was in your wife's shoes I would have let this "friend" know that this is not something I would like to do or even frequent, meaning the strip clubs. (an exception because she is getting married - party) If I love my husband, future ... (read in full...)

Ok to use something like certain dry even if you are not diagnosed with a condition such as axillary hyperhidrosis?

Q.   hey i DONT have mega sweating problems and dont sweat an awful lot, however no deodorants seem to work on me. I asked about this a cou[ple of months ago and was advised by several to get certain dri anti-perspirant. i am only just getting round ...

A.   19 April 2008: I know I mentioned this product to someone on here....and I have used it especially if I was wearing like a silky blouse. What I had stated was, that you NEVER want to put it on right after you shave. IT WILL BURN LIKE CRAZY and really make your ... (read in full...)

Desperately seeking good deodorant recommendations!

Q.   Hey I am not a very sweaty person and I don't think I stin kof Bo. However, I always feel a tiny bit sweaty in my arm pits and this causes me great discomfort especially now in the winter as it causes me to feel very cold. I have tried ma...

A.   5 March 2008: I understand what you are going through...and there is a brand that really works. It's called Certain Dri, and you used to have to get it from the dermatoligist, however, it is now over the counter. Being that you are in the UK, I'm not sure where ... (read in full...)

Does anyone in the UK know of a website offering(advice/sharing of information) available for adults who have a permanent split with one of their parents following the others death?

Q.   I split permanently with my Mother and sister/brother in law one year ago. I am single with no other family. Does anyone in the UK know of a website offering(advice/sharing of information) available for adults who have a permanent split with one...

A.   2 March 2008: My father passed 15yrs ago and mother passed almost 4yrs ago...and I feel I can relate in some ways. My father was a man who showed loved to all of us with his kind touch. When my mother passed, she left no will. My mother was a Christian woman, had ... (read in full...)

Obesity: an issue to overlook or batchelor - beware?

Q.   I am interested in pursuing a relationship with a woman (a real-life woman, not a hypothetical person)who has the following qualities: beautiful, honest, trustworthy, smart, funny, creative, would be a great mother and caring wife, shares my values, ...

A.   2 March 2008: Needless to say, physical attraction is a must...and you've already said that. However, IF you really feel that SHE is THE ONE because of all that you mentioned and you know that is what you adore about her the most, I would feel that you would ... (read in full...)

Do I risk my childrens' sake by returning to my abusive ex whom I still love?

Q.   Last october i got out of a 8yr relationship 18months of it i was married....my husband was violent towards me...he could be the most wounderful man and also be very nasty...i walked out in last year not looking back...i have managed to set up my ...

A.   2 March 2008: I'm sure in your marriage there were good times and bad times and the times that you put up with that you shouldn't have!!!...and if he is the father of your children, of course you will always have a special place in your heart for him even with ... (read in full...)

Would you take an ex back a second time, after they left you for the same person twice?

Q.   Would you take an ex back? If he left you after 6 years together and went off with someone else. A year later his relationship ended, he went back to you for a couple of weeks, then went back with the girl he went off with in the first place. A...

A.   2 March 2008: Your his mat on the door step, and you are letting him walk all over you. You are convenience now because you are letting him do this to you....LET HIM GO! You know the song "Gold" by Beverly Knight? Listen to it..over and over and over! His ... (read in full...)

Once in a while I come home late after drinking which leads my wife to believe I had been cheating. How to prove her wrong?

Q.   I want to know how to prove to my wife that I do not cheat on her. I go out once in a while on Fridays and get way too drunk. I want to stop, but that is another issue. I love my wife and do not cheat on here, but when I come home late after dri...

A.   2 March 2008: I think your wife feels as if your not interested in her, that other outside activities are more important...think about it. Even the possiblities of meeting other women are there...even if you are merely seeking a drink with the good ole boys for a ... (read in full...)

Does anyone know any good sex songs?

Q.   does anyone know any good sex songs (non romantic) that would be fun to play at a party?...

A.   2 March 2008: I guess it depends on what you like...so? Closer - Nine Inch Nails Enjoy!!! Let us all know when it is!!!! Have fun!!... (read in full...)

Could I be going through a mid life crisis already?

Q.   I don't know what's wrong with me lately. I'm starting to feel worthless, like I should be doing something more with my life. I'm in my early 30's, I am married and I have 2 kids (6 and 4) I have a full time job. My marriage is rocky right n...

A.   16 February 2008: First of all you are NOT worthless! Your just tired and frustrated with your husband's drinking, and THAT is what is bringing you down. Being married once to an alcoholic, I can relate to many of the things they do and say. However, each alcoholic ... (read in full...)

Site News: We hit another milestone :-)

Q.   For the first time we broke the 400,000 visitors mark over the past month! We had 412,222 people visit the site from Jan 13th 08 - Feb 14th 08 according to google analytics! Thanks to all the mods, the aunts and everyone who shares their pro...

A.   15 February 2008: Congratulations Andrew!! I don't know how you do it, but I for one am so glad you do. I know there are so many others who appreciate all that you do and especially your time. Like many others, I came here myself seeking answers...and, because of a... (read in full...)

Is there such a thing as a curse or bad karma?

Q.   I wonder if there is any chance , that there is such a thing as curse or karma? I try to live this life ,with the best intentions, yet everything falls apart on me. I thought, you make your own luck. It really does not happen in my life. I was nev...

A.   12 February 2008: I don't believe myself in curses or karma..I am a Christian and believe in God Almighty. I believe all things good or bad are sent from above, however, it's what we do with the situation, our choice with it, that determines the outcome. Sometimes, ... (read in full...)

He's going through a divorce, but he finds me intriguing, what does that mean?

Q.   This is a question I haven't found addressed on the site before, so here I go seeking further knowledge, and the members of this board have never let me down! A man I met recently is someone I find incredibly attractive, but he's going through a ...

A.   12 February 2008: He finds you curious and interesting...per Webster dictionary. There is something about you that facinates him, and I am sure he does want to get to know you better. When the time is right, and I'm sure you will know when, he will be asking you ... (read in full...)

My mother still thinks I am young enough to have a child, I'm 47 and don't want one, how do I get her off my back?

Q.   I just posted a question and i forgot to include this: My Mother does not accept the fact that i never had children and that at my age I most likely won't have children. She had my youngest brother at the age of 51 and she is constantly telling me ...

A.   12 February 2008: You sound exactly like me. I am 41, almost 42 to be truthful and at this time in my life, I do not wish to give birth to any child. Had I been married or even with someone "I thought" the possiblities might have been there, well, at least before ... (read in full...)

Can't live with him or without him...which option is the lesser of two evils??

Q.   Hello I've been browsing this site recently to see if I can get an answer to my problem. I'm in a relationship with someone I love I guess I would call him the love of my life so far. I've been with him a few years now but it is very up and down...

A.   10 February 2008: I'm not sure how long it was before he met you after divorcing his spouse, but, it almost sounds as if he is still sore about the whole past issue...because he "had" to give up half his assets. That is "normally" what happens when people divorce ... (read in full...)

How do I tell her I want to make love to her?

Q.   how do i tell her i want to make love to her...............i feel realy stupid about this because i'm 45 and should no what i'm doing.i no she considers me more then just a boy friend we are even going on a trip to newyork in a few weeks same room ...

A.   8 February 2008: First off, no your not stupid...because you have no idea what's probably going on in her mind and all what she has been thinking. Calm down...it will be great!! I think it's actually awesome that you both have waited so long..meaning, you nor her ... (read in full...)

For 35 years, I have loved my husband's best friend!

Q.   I am totally in love with my husbands best friend. This has been going on for the past 35 years. He was in our wedding, but I even loved him several years before that. We have been intimate on many many occasions. He says he feels the same way I ...

A.   17 January 2008: I have to agree with everyone here who posted, however, what I wonder then is why you even married him? Why didn't you marry the other guy since you had seemed to know him prior to your marriage? Something was there with your husband I am sure ... (read in full...)

What makes a guy a virgin?

Q.   In the thread, "What makes you are Virgin?" at http://www.dearcupid.org/question/what-makes-you-are-virgin.html , a girl asked how "virgin" was defined for women. How about a FOLLOW-UP QUESTION: Girls, how do you define a virgin guy? Does h...

A.   17 January 2008: I personally would like to thank you for this question...merely because many of us will have different views on how we think and what we believe or even how we grew up. Because time has changed, and this world seems to just "go with the flow", many ... (read in full...)

I have all the qualities you would want in a friend and in an employee.So why am I having job problems?

Q.   In the past 7 years I've had the career from HELL. I would love to know if there are any of you out there who have had similar experiences. At the moment, I feel ashamed of myself and that this has all been my own fault somehow. After finishin...

A.   17 January 2008: In any type of job, there will ALWAYS be "some" type or form of different personalities, the way a person views how to climb the corporate ladder, how something should be done (normally their way - not a group thought), the one's who stab you in the ... (read in full...)

I am afraid of being alone!

Q.   I think this is a very normal problem but I am trying to work at keeping it all in perspective and any advice would be gratefully received! I am a 33 year old man who has been married (for 7 years) from age 21 and that finished 5 years back and then...

A.   17 January 2008: If I thought the same way you have been thinking...then I guess I must be an "old bag"!!! I divorced right before my 30th birthday. One year later, got in another relationship that lasted 6 yrs (mind you..it was a lesson because it was the same ... (read in full...)

What can I do to help him get through his divorce?

Q.   This year I met a man with whom I have become quite close. We have shared a bed on two occasions but nothing happens; we woke up on Christmas morning together with nowhere to go but he just got up and started washing up! I felt really demoralis...

A.   15 January 2008: From my "past" experience, it sounds as if he is missing the one he slept with (his exwife) and at the moment, you are filling those shoe's...even tho no sex. He's not ready to move on, not in the "right" way that is. Sounds as if she left him and ... (read in full...)

I always "freeze" when having to take the conclusive steps to end my marriage, because of the abuses. What to do about the indecisiveness?

Q.   I really need help to make a very big decision - that is to leave my husband. I am 35 - no children. What I guess I am asking is why I have deliberated over it for so long when the evidence that we are not right for each other is so obvious. I ha...

A.   12 January 2008: Dear Annon, I wish I knew why he emotionally abuses you. Emotional abuse is wrong, however you look at it, however, I'm wondering if there are other factors that play in to this that he may not even realize. Making a marriage work is a two way ... (read in full...)

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