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Is my physician losing respect for me?

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Question - (15 May 2024) 4 Answers - (Newest, 18 May 2024)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

For the past 6 months I’ve been seeing a physician for some issues I’ve been having- he came highly recommended by a couple of friends who have been seeing him for several years.

He’s an older gentleman and all his reviews are excellent.

I cannot complain about him as he is very good as what he does but sometimes I feel he’s losing a bit of respect for me by what he says.

He always refers to his patients as “Mr/Mrs/Miss “ when he calls them from reception.

However recently he’s started calling me from my 1st name. I have not heard him do this to any other patient (he tends to run late so at least 1-2 patients tend to go in before he sees me ).

I never thought much of it until my husband came in with me once as noticed how he had called all the other patients previous to me by their surname and me by my first name- he thought it was rude.

I asked my friends who saw him he ever called them by their first name only as I assumed that maybe he may do with patients he’s had a while, however they both said they’ve always been called by their surname.

Also as I said he runs late- sometimes up to 45 minutes- he used to apologize for the wait but now he doesn’t, which I do find a little off and an apology would be nice. I know these things can’t be helped but isn’t it common courtesy to apologize for delays?

Then the other day he was discussing some alternative treatment (it’s a private practice) - I happened to say it was a little expensive and he responded “well you do like expensive things” I was surprised at his comment. I mean I like to dress well - so I may have the odd designer top or bag that he’s seen me but I think once again it’s a really odd and random comment to make.

I told my friends (who also see him) and they seemed surprised too.

I’m starting to feel like he’s losing some respect for me or am I just being over sensitive?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2024):

I think you need to be more assertive. Try saying 'I feel disrespected when you use my first name and also when you don't apologise for being late.'

It could also be, as another reader has suggested, that he is interested in you. If you assert yourself it might make him own up to this, if it's the case. Then you can gently tell him that you're married.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2024):

Either continue to pay him for his time and sitting around in his waiting room or stop going. Simple. Why make such a big issue and nit pick about every little thing? Get a life.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2024):

I don't know what is on his mind but doctors are also humans so I venture and say maybe he is interested in you in other ways . only you can judge through his behavior.

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom + , writes (16 May 2024):

kenny agony auntIt is rather odd your the only one he refers to on first name terms, and also a bit random that he should mention you like expensive things, seems strange coming from a mature person in a professional position.

He comes highly recommended by a couple of friends, all his reviews are excellent, and by your own admission you say you can't complain about him as he is good as what he does.

So I think you either continue to use him and accept the fact he uses first name terms with you and just try not to be as sensitive.

Or you don't use him anymore and find another physician.

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