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This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
28 November 2010: Recently, I found this poem by Maya Angelou. I think it pretty well summarizes how women should feel about themselves. Here it is, in case it benefits anyone. PHENOMENAL WOMAN by Maya Angelou Pretty women wonder where my secret lies I'm n...
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This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 December 2008: Something one of my aunts sent me: When I was born, the doctor went to the waiting room and told my father: "We did all we could, but he was born alive". My mom didn't know whether she should keep me or the placenta. Since I was born before ...
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She says she loves me but needs time; I don't know how to handle it
Q. Please help me i just want to die. My girlfriend that im mad about just broke it off between us. she says she just needs to find out what she really wants, but she doesn't know. she doesn't know if she wants to be in a relationship but she still lo...
A. 4 July 2007: I can only give you the same advice as before. Nothing has really changed.... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant and it's sent my sex drive through the roof! Problem is that my partner seems to be satisfied with porn instead. Help!
Q. Help - He Doesn't Want to Have Sex with me but Watches Porn at every opportunity!! I live with my partner and we have been together about 6 years. For at least 2 years possibly 3 we have seldom had sex. However, by some miracle I am now pregnan...
A. 4 July 2007: Dear anonymous, I'd hate to leave the problem just as it was before. We're here to help. I know pregnancy is a special period and I think this is when you are in a deeper need of support. If you should decide to, you can send me a private e-mail. ... (read in full...)
Is it in his kiss?
Q. If your boyfriend says he loves you but doesn't show it... is he saying it cause he means it or just cause he thinks you want to hear it?...
A. 3 July 2007: Pinkie, I've seen several posts by you. I see you have an important issue to deal with, but you have divided it into pieces. I wonder if you could give us the whole picture, so we can help you better.... (read in full...)
Is it in his kiss?
Q. If your boyfriend says he loves you but doesn't show it... is he saying it cause he means it or just cause he thinks you want to hear it?...
A. 3 July 2007: Sometimes people show they love us in ways we fail to appreciate. Some men are not into "I love you" thing, but they will do things for you to show they care. I wonder if this is the case here.... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant and it's sent my sex drive through the roof! Problem is that my partner seems to be satisfied with porn instead. Help!
Q. Help - He Doesn't Want to Have Sex with me but Watches Porn at every opportunity!! I live with my partner and we have been together about 6 years. For at least 2 years possibly 3 we have seldom had sex. However, by some miracle I am now pregnan...
A. 3 July 2007: I was tempted to say that some men feel it's inappropriate to have sex during pregnancy, but this is not the case, since you mention that during the past two-three years you've seldom had sex. So your pregnancy is not the issue.
There is obviousl... (read in full...)
What does a comfortable man look like?
Q. What are signs that a man is comfortable in his relationship and how soon into the relationship should this happen?...
A. 3 July 2007: I am with DV1.... (read in full...)
My marriage in on the rocks and now she is going to go out with her ex, and I am not invited!
Q. my wife and i have been together for near 5 yrs and married for near 2. since then alot has hapend that would put any1 under stress, had a baby, moved home 3 times, i have started my own business that is taking its time getting off the ground, ...
A. 3 July 2007: It seems there are serious problems in your marriage. I'm pessimistic about a "happy" solution, as I think she is not motivated to it.
I agree with you in that, whatever happens, the quicker, the better. So, try to get that to happen: have a s... (read in full...)
Two months into a perfect relationship he has turned cold and says he needs time
Q. Hi there My boyfriend is in a wheelchair, it has been 6 years since his accident. We have only been together for 2 months, but the relationship has been 100% perfect, sexually and emotionally. Recently he has turned cold and says he needs time to...
A. 3 July 2007: I hate to be a killjoy, but I think we're here, among other things, to provide different points of view. I agree that he may be out of the infatuation stage, and that maybe he needs time to solve a personal issue.
Now, I would add somethin... (read in full...)
Been married for 20 years, but feel it's over....what can I do?
Q. i need help been married for 20yrs, and i feel like its over what do i do next?...
A. 3 July 2007: I think we would need more information to help you, madam.... (read in full...)
I didnt like him all that much when we were together, but now that we are apart I am obsessed!
Q. Why am I thinking about him ALL the time (when I wake up / go to sleep, in dreams, eating, driving etc!) I used to kind of date this guy, and we really liked eachother but no way loved eachother / werent that affectionate, didn't last very long. ...
A. 3 July 2007: The only way to get over someone is to start a life where that someone plays no part.
However, I'm always in favor of love. Why don't you contact him and see if you can work things out?... (read in full...)
Husband knows my one-night stand from 10 years ago!
Q. just told husband about one night stand i had 10 years before i met him. he seems upset because he also knows this person. what should i do?...
A. 3 July 2007: I'm with Penta. Why should he worry about something that happened ten years BEFORE you met him?
However, irrational behavior sometimes has very rational motives. Why don't you ask him why he finds that upsetting?... (read in full...)
I am new to the whole relationship thing and have some questions
Q. I am just going to post a few questions at once... just cause i have so many... i am rookie to this relationship stuff so thanks in advance for all your advice... 1. Does a man like to hear I love you often? 2. How can you talk to your bf abou...
A. 3 July 2007: Long-distance relationships are hard in the sense that you don't have the physical presence of the person, so you need more reassurance. I wouldn't take it for granted that men need less; I think it's a matter of circumstances.
I'm not sure to ... (read in full...)
Gonna dress up in heels and fishnets and show up at his door
Q. Just had a relationship breakup. Thinking of showing up at his place in heels and fishnet tights and showing him a side he never saw. Sex between us was almost nonexistent and now I just want to dominate him in a sexual way. He has never seen this ...
A. 3 July 2007: I agree with the ladies.
I don't know the man, but there's a chance he would sleep with you after your coming with high heels and that, and then he would still tell you that you broke up.
Bad idea, madam.... (read in full...)
Is it still possible to fall in love after a year of dating?
Q. for you men out there, is it possible for you to fall in love with a women that you dated for a year if you haven't felt it by now?...
A. 3 July 2007: Yes, madam, it sure is. Sometimes it takes time to notice the good things in a person. In my experience, this kind of love has a better foundation. This means the attraction is not only physical.
Good luck!... (read in full...)
I am new to the whole relationship thing and have some questions
Q. I am just going to post a few questions at once... just cause i have so many... i am rookie to this relationship stuff so thanks in advance for all your advice... 1. Does a man like to hear I love you often? 2. How can you talk to your bf abou...
A. 3 July 2007: I respect the ladies' opinions. They have had their experiences, too, and there are differences in men. However, if I were a girl, I would follow the advice of men. You see, as of this moment, there are four posts: two by women and two by men. ... (read in full...)
If women cheat on a man, could it be that something is missing in what he is able to give a relationship?
Q. If a man has had two women who he loved who cheated on him would you assume something is missing in what he is able to give to a relationship? This guy seems so emotionally detached....
A. 3 July 2007: I wouldn't assume that, either.... (read in full...)
I want to hide the fact that I'm not a virgin.
Q. hy i had sex with my boy friend for 8 to 12 time, now i am going to marry a man of my parents choice, i want to start a good life, i want to hide that am not virgin. how can i do this pleas help me. pleas...
A. 3 July 2007: I see you're from Pakistan. I suppose you're moslem and, if you are, then I understand how important this is for you. I'm afraid that people from other societies do not really understand what is at stake here. Honesty would not be appreciated. ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is driving me crazy with her clingy behaviour
Q. My girlfriend is really clingy, and lately it's been doing my head in more than usual. She wants to see me 4-5 times a week... I can't remember the last time I just got a night to myself guilt-free to chill, but she says she can't understand why I ...
A. 3 July 2007: I think your girlfriend is very insecure about something. Maybe it would help if you found out what it is.... (read in full...)
We're on a break but I'm afraid it will turn into a break up!
Q. My girlfriend and I nearly broke up last week, and I've never been so depressed in my entire life. Instead we've decided to go on a break. She said for a few weeks, maybe a month, and I said I was ok with that. But I'm not. It is SO hard. I miss her ...
A. 3 July 2007: Don't lose it, man.
I think I understand how you feel. You see, we all have been there, more than one time. You're young and you'll go through several situations like this one. May our experiences help you on this one.
If you were happy w... (read in full...)
She says she wants space, should I break it off?
Q. Hey all, A quick question for ya, my gf and I have been having a bunch of problems lately and we broke up, we both love eachother lots but now she says she needs time think if she wants to be with me, should i take that as a very rude thing to do...
A. 3 July 2007: I'm with YummyMummy.... (read in full...)
Should I tell the guy I just slept with I have genital warts?
Q. i was treated for genital warts a few months ago and i recently slept with my ex should i tell him as i think they are comin back...
A. 3 July 2007: Definitely yes.... (read in full...)
He wont commit. Arent I worth it?
Q. I am little confused with my boyfriend's meaning. He said, he wants me in his life, he adores me, and he likes to call me as his girlfriend, but he isn't sure about commitment and he doesnt know what he wants. Is it not worth it for me?...
A. 3 July 2007: I'm not sure I understand your question. Are you asking whether the relationship is worth for you?
If this is your question, well, I'm not sure whether this is worth, but I do think your boyfriend should be able to commit to you. How long hav... (read in full...)
I used to like to have sex with fat girls, but now I want to move on
Q. I'm a cute guy but I hung out with FAT chicks and I invested so much on them to have sex with them and my question is: how do I get rid of them and find new friends?...
A. 3 July 2007: We agony aunts should not be judgmental. We're here to help. However, I need to say this: you're selfish, man. People are not things you can "get rid of". If you "invested" time on them, well, no one forced you to. If you want to give them ... (read in full...)
He broke my heart and I am devestated
Q. It's been nearly 7 months since I split up with my ex, and whilst I am gradually feeling happier, I still go through the odd occasion where I am filled with so much anger toward him and I don't know how to get rid of it. I feel like he completely ...
A. 3 July 2007: You fell into the hands of a very bad man, and I understand your feeling bitter. Also, I think you're right about being used. I would find it very difficult not to feel the way you're feeling now.
As to getting rid of the bitterness, I may soun... (read in full...)
Is he losing interest, or just getting confortable?
Q. I am in a new relationship and well this is really my first time in a relationship so I have so many questions .... the man I am with now has changed how he is with me ... he has gone from sending text messages and emails... and telling me he cares ...
A. 3 July 2007: I think he's in the "comfortable" stage. This should be good news, though.... (read in full...)
He wont have sex with me!
Q. I'm in a serious relationship..or we say it is.. we talk of it being forever yet he is unable to touch me.. we hold hands.. sleep in the same bed.. but there is no sexual attraction.. none from him.. he's rejected my moves for six months now and so ...
A. 3 July 2007: Wow.
If he rejects your moves, I don't think there is much you can do. I suppose you have tried asking him what is going on.
If I were you, I would deal with this right away. If he won't give a satisfactory answer, well, I think you would ... (read in full...)
I am new to the whole relationship thing and have some questions
Q. I am just going to post a few questions at once... just cause i have so many... i am rookie to this relationship stuff so thanks in advance for all your advice... 1. Does a man like to hear I love you often? 2. How can you talk to your bf abou...
A. 3 July 2007: I come from Latin America, so my answers may be a bit different from those a Canadian would give. But, here they are:
1. We don't usually need to be told you love us. We do like to feel you do, and that is usually shown in actions. So, if y... (read in full...)
I wake up in the night and he's pleasing himself... !
Q. hi i have been with partner for 3 years we have a good sex life but over the past few months he has become distant towards sex we still have it but not as often and i often wake through the night and he will be masterbating he does not know i am ...
A. 3 July 2007: I see you updated on your situation. I am sure there is a problem here, but I'm also absolutely sure you are not it. If he can have sex with you sometimes, after he sees the porn, well, then he can obviously function well. The thing is, he ... (read in full...)
He let me "do" him... and I think it made him feel guilty - how can I convince him it's a guilty pleasure?
Q. My boyfriend and I were fooling around, when we tried anal stimulation for the first time. He did it to me, and it didn't really do much other than make me come quicker. But when I did it to him, it was like turning on a sex-switch. I'll...
A. 2 July 2007: I think that the golden rule here is, "if he SAYS he doesn't like it, don't try to do it". He may be associating anal stimulation with being gay, and obviously he doesn't feel comfortable with it. Let him have his way in this one.... (read in full...)
Is it ok to get random erections... or not?
Q. Is it ok to get an erection at random times? I've always had a prblem gettting erections at random times. is this normal...
A. 2 July 2007: Yes. I suppose there is a "random" cause behind them.... (read in full...)
I wake up in the night and he's pleasing himself... !
Q. hi i have been with partner for 3 years we have a good sex life but over the past few months he has become distant towards sex we still have it but not as often and i often wake through the night and he will be masterbating he does not know i am ...
A. 2 July 2007: Oops! When I say "your sex life", I mean "yours and his"; "the sex life of the couple".... (read in full...)
I wake up in the night and he's pleasing himself... !
Q. hi i have been with partner for 3 years we have a good sex life but over the past few months he has become distant towards sex we still have it but not as often and i often wake through the night and he will be masterbating he does not know i am ...
A. 2 July 2007: My guess is, there is a problem in your sex life. The masturbation is a secondary issue; the important part is why you have become distant. Maybe you can talk to him.... (read in full...)
We've been together over five years, but it still feels like a one-night stand...what do I do?
Q. I usually wake up with my girlfriend feeling wonderful and wanting to cuddle - almost in a child like way - but by the time we've left for work I have doubts about our relationship. This is becoming very commonplace. This morning for example, she ...
A. 2 July 2007: I'm with Dr Pete and flower.... (read in full...)
I have always liked a girl who is now pregnant--should I chase her?
Q. Ok I'm new to this site but I was looking to see what people thought about this situation that has me trippin'. I met this one girl and I always liked her, but we never talked. I never tryed getting with her because she's my friend's little s...
A. 2 July 2007: I agree with the ladies. In any case, you need to know what she thinks. I also want to add some male perspective, because I've been there.
You're young and maybe you think that taking care of a child is easy. No, it isn't. And, you need to ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is always off with friends--should I leave him?
Q. I've been dating a man for more than 2.5 years, but have known him for more than 3 years. I met him when I was 25 years old, a week or so after I got laid off from my prevous employer. He's 1.5 years younger than me, and was 23 at the time, turning ...
A. 2 July 2007: I think I would need more information on this one.
It seems to me that your only reason to complain is his leaving the state. Do you feel neglected? How good is your relationship with him, if you leave out his frequent trips? Does he seem rel... (read in full...)
How do I ask where the relationship is going without scaring him off?
Q. I have been seeing a guy for 6weeks and want to ask him where he thinks the relationship is going but I'm afraid I'll spoil things or push him away. How should I approach the subject with him?...
A. 2 July 2007: I'm with carebearer.... (read in full...)
Is the perfect man out there for me?
Q. I'm 21 and got the perfect job and soon to be getting a lovely little cottage, hopefully.. only thing I'm missing is the man of my dreams. I'm not hunting for one but when I look around all i find is Unsuccessfuls. Is he out there? I'm beginnin...
A. 2 July 2007: I'm with the ladies.... (read in full...)
Was forgiving her a mistake?
Q. Dear cupid, my girlfriend slept with another man behind my back but i slept behind her back when we had only just started seeing each other. I have forgiven her, have i made a big mistake? ...
A. 2 July 2007: I'm with the ladies.... (read in full...)
Should I ask her to choose?
Q. Hi. There's this girl I'm starting to fall for and she's given me strong signs that she wants me to, like text messages saying she loves me and misses me, but she already has a boyfriend and she's recently left comments on his Myspace saying she ...
A. 2 July 2007: If I were you, I would wait. Just don't wait for too long.
Cheer up.... (read in full...)
the day he left.
Q. ok i might just be seventeen years old but i have had some bad experiences in my life and i wish to share it with you. I was born on Monday 25 th june 1990 my real biological father didn't believe i was his so he had a bloo test it was proven i ...
A. 2 July 2007: I'm impressed. You chose a wrong nickname, dear: Instead of "I might be a girl", you should have chosen "I'm a hell of a person". I'm moved.
Leave the past behind and be happy from now on. This is the best you can do.
I reserve my hugs ... (read in full...)
I want to tell her in a way that says I love you with all my heart, and make her feel really special that she is the chosen girl kind of thing but I just don't know how to put it all together.
Q. Hey everyone, Sooo my girlfriend and I recently had sex for the first time. She is not a virgin. However I WAS but she does not know this. I would happily tell her but she has never asked and also I am a few years older than her so I thought it ...
A. 2 July 2007: I would have my doubts whether she didn't know you were a virgin. That isn't exactly something that you can hide. So, she knows and she doesn't care. Is there anything better?
Now, onto the important matter, if you show her how importan... (read in full...)
She says she loves me but needs time; I don't know how to handle it
Q. Please help me i just want to die. My girlfriend that im mad about just broke it off between us. she says she just needs to find out what she really wants, but she doesn't know. she doesn't know if she wants to be in a relationship but she still lo...
A. 2 July 2007: You see?... (read in full...)
He says he doesn't want to live and is destroying himself with booze
Q. My boyfriend finished with me 2 weeks ago then we spoke about things and got back together because both of us wanted to be with each other. we have been together for 4 and a half years. He ended it again today stating that the only way we can be ...
A. 2 July 2007: Your boyfriend seems to be very deep into problems, and I don't think a young girl like yourself can pull him out of that. I think this is very difficult with anyone. He needs to get the courage to stand up. Moving somewhere else will not solve ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is being put off by my family's doubts
Q. Hi I am 7 months pregnant by my boyfriend of 9 months. The problem is my parents are not very supportive of me bringing this child into the world with someone they hardly know plus the fact that the relationship is long distance but I reason I have ...
A. 2 July 2007: I would find it difficult to forgive him, too, and the reason is not strange at all: you need him the most, and the man goes away. I think it's a bad sign that he left Saturday but said he was leaving Sunday. And, maybe he cannot handle your ... (read in full...)
She says she loves me but needs time; I don't know how to handle it
Q. Please help me i just want to die. My girlfriend that im mad about just broke it off between us. she says she just needs to find out what she really wants, but she doesn't know. she doesn't know if she wants to be in a relationship but she still lo...
A. 2 July 2007: We've all been there. If she's not sure whether she loves you, well, let her go. Give her time to make her mind up. No matter how bad this seems to you, or much it hurts, DON'T contact her; that will make things worse. If she loves you, she will ... (read in full...)
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