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This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
28 November 2010: Recently, I found this poem by Maya Angelou. I think it pretty well summarizes how women should feel about themselves. Here it is, in case it benefits anyone. PHENOMENAL WOMAN by Maya Angelou Pretty women wonder where my secret lies I'm n...
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This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 December 2008: Something one of my aunts sent me: When I was born, the doctor went to the waiting room and told my father: "We did all we could, but he was born alive". My mom didn't know whether she should keep me or the placenta. Since I was born before ...
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It all seemed like a wonderful dream, now it's turning into a nightmare.
Q. Did I overreact? I've been with my boyfriend for seven weeks but because he lives quite far away we've only seen each other seven times. When we do meet it's only for a night and a bit of the morning as our work shifts clash. He told me he loved me ...
A. 10 July 2007: I do wish you luck. I hope I'm proved right, not for my own sake, but for yours. He does seem to have been raised too conservatively for you; I hope he isn't a bad guy.
I have a personal reason to say you should be patient: I was rejected... (read in full...)
I said I was going to leave. Now he won't talk to me. What can I do?
Q. My ex and I split up a year ago, we really like each other´s personalities and stayed friends. January, we ended up in bed, and I started to call him more often. He didn't like that and told me off. Then he wanted to be friends again. He started out ...
A. 8 July 2007: Thank you for updating on your question.
I do believe he picked up on your feelings; they are pretty obvious to anyone. He doesnt love you as a woman, but I don't think he was scared; rather, he was very upset. And my guess is he's not upse... (read in full...)
We were always friends but I want more. Is now my chance?
Q. I have a friend of 7 years whom I have always had feelings for. She often had boyfriends and i hadn't ever had the confidence to ask her out- as she was a friend and didn't want to spoil that. I had been just about to tell her my feelings, having ...
A. 7 July 2007: I'm with the ladies. I just want to add something about how I would find out about her interest: I would hint my love very carefully, instead of asking whether she feels something for you. Take this in consideration: it might have been just a ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend and I have been together for 10 months and we've started having sex. It's been great, but when I'm on top it doesn't work.
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 10 months and we've started having sex. It's been great, but when I'm on top it doesn't work. I don't know whether this is because I'm on top the second time we do it, but I really want to be able to achieve ...
A. 7 July 2007: Dixie is right. This is so unusual, though.... (read in full...)
How can I reduce my sexual desire?
Q. Hi I do not have as many time sex as I desire with my spouse, and I do not like to be disloyal to her. Would you please advise me on how to reduce my sex desire? Thanks...
A. 7 July 2007: I respect dixiegirl's opinion. She's even in my list of friends because I very much like what she writes. Hers is a perfectly valid point of view. If the sex drives don't match, well, let's solve the problem in a way that doesn't involve ... (read in full...)
I've been seeing a guy but I've been sleeping with his cousin.
Q. ive been seeing a guy for the past three weeks and hes great and treats me like a princess, but ive been sleeping with his cousinfor the past 2 weeks, this guy is also my best mates boyfriend, i do feel guilty but i think the fear of gettin cought ...
A. 7 July 2007: Are you worried about getting caught, but not about honesty?... (read in full...)
I said I was going to leave. Now he won't talk to me. What can I do?
Q. My ex and I split up a year ago, we really like each other´s personalities and stayed friends. January, we ended up in bed, and I started to call him more often. He didn't like that and told me off. Then he wanted to be friends again. He started out ...
A. 7 July 2007: We agony aunts are here to help. Sometimes, as Frank Kermit said, saying nice things is no help. If I need to choose between telling you the truth and giving you reassurance, I prefer to tell the truth. You see, you can't build anything if truth ... (read in full...)
How can I reduce my sexual desire?
Q. Hi I do not have as many time sex as I desire with my spouse, and I do not like to be disloyal to her. Would you please advise me on how to reduce my sex desire? Thanks...
A. 7 July 2007: I have some advice for the poster of the question. I don't think it's a good idea to "please yourself". This is something I learned here, as an agony aunt, from the ladies. If she should get to know you're "pleasing yourself", that would create a ... (read in full...)
I need space from him, he's smothering me wanting to be with me all the time!
Q. Me and this guy have been dating for the past 2 1/2 months and he is deeply in love with me already. At first I thought I was in love but I'm not. I love him but not the way he loves me. For the past 1 1/2 months while we were dating I've been ...
A. 7 July 2007: Flower girl has the words of wisdom.... (read in full...)
I'm unable to come at all when I'm with a woman - by myself I can do it.
Q. I'm 22 years old now, had this problem since I first started having sex. I'm unable to come at all when I'm with a woman- by myself I can do it, but I've never come during sex or other wholesome activities. However, I can orgasm-a little trick I ...
A. 7 July 2007: Flower girl is right.... (read in full...)
How can I reduce my sexual desire?
Q. Hi I do not have as many time sex as I desire with my spouse, and I do not like to be disloyal to her. Would you please advise me on how to reduce my sex desire? Thanks...
A. 7 July 2007: I say, you can't. But you can adjust to what she will give you.... (read in full...)
It all seemed like a wonderful dream, now it's turning into a nightmare.
Q. Did I overreact? I've been with my boyfriend for seven weeks but because he lives quite far away we've only seen each other seven times. When we do meet it's only for a night and a bit of the morning as our work shifts clash. He told me he loved me ...
A. 7 July 2007: I think you've done the right thing, madam, which is talking. Honest, direct conversation is the key to solving this differences, as love and willingness to solve problems are important, too.
I see I failed to convey my point of view. Cultural... (read in full...)
I love my husband even though we've had our bad times but I feel I've missed out on other parts of my life.
Q. I've been married 5 years and got together when I was only 16, I love my husband even though we've had our bad times but I feel I've missed out on other parts of my life. I know I'm being selfish but I can't shake this feeling that there's more to ...
A. 7 July 2007: I followed the link you posted and from it I see the situation is very different from what you describe here. I would say that the advice we have given, so far, is no good, because we didn't have the chance to look at the whole picture.
I see... (read in full...)
I really like him but have no true sense of whether it is just a casual thing for him or if there is any potential in it developing into something more serious.
Q. I have been dating a guy for 4 months now. He is incredibly busy and travels away a lot so we have only actually had 10ish dates. The dates are always great but we never speak or text between then and I generally initiate the meeting up. I really ...
A. 6 July 2007: AskEve said it all.... (read in full...)
I love my husband even though we've had our bad times but I feel I've missed out on other parts of my life.
Q. I've been married 5 years and got together when I was only 16, I love my husband even though we've had our bad times but I feel I've missed out on other parts of my life. I know I'm being selfish but I can't shake this feeling that there's more to ...
A. 6 July 2007: I understand your feelings. You are very young and it's only natural that you want to see the world. However, you are now a married person. I think you should think things very carefully. Perhaps you can work something out with your husband.
... (read in full...)
According to my friends I should just go round, get all my stuff out, and post keys through letter box.
Q. My boyfriend and I have been having problems recently - he's been backing off because of trust issues, problems with his daughter etc - but we were supposed to be going on holiday this week to sort things out. He backtracked a couple of weeks ag...
A. 6 July 2007: If I were you, I would follow your friends' advice.
I don't think a confrontation would give you closure or do any good. The man will avoid it. A confrontation would only add pain. Now, I understand that you want to hold your own with him, but... (read in full...)
How do I know if I really love him or if it is just a convenient way for me to have a house and live closer to my job.
Q. I have been with my other for 5 years. We now have a kid together. I have left my boyfriend on 3 different occasions in the past years. We are being civil now since the last break in March - how do I know if I really love him or if it is just a ...
A. 6 July 2007: I'm afraid only you can tell why you do this.
I think your son could find it beneficial to have his father living close by. But, it would be more beneficial if his/her parents had a clear relationship between them.
Madam, you're not too o... (read in full...)
Recently she has started taking things further, she asked me last night if I would do her with a fish!!!
Q. Me and my girlfriend have a very close relationship and when we first went out we both had a very high sex drive. I would play with all her sex toys with her. We started experimenting with fruit and other shaft looking objects. it kinda turned me ...
A. 6 July 2007: I suppose she means it. Now, if you don't want that, don't do it.... (read in full...)
I find it very hard to trust him on the internet.
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for just over 2 years, but I find it very hard to trust him on the internet... We met each other on a dating site 2years ago and I left my partner to be with him. Things were going well, but I have a bad case of p...
A. 6 July 2007: I don't think you are being silly. This could be a red flag. I don't believe his excuse for the profile. I suppose, however, that you've met this person and perhaps you know what he is like.... (read in full...)
It all seemed like a wonderful dream, now it's turning into a nightmare.
Q. Did I overreact? I've been with my boyfriend for seven weeks but because he lives quite far away we've only seen each other seven times. When we do meet it's only for a night and a bit of the morning as our work shifts clash. He told me he loved me ...
A. 6 July 2007: I was the Latin in a previous relationship and I understand both you and him.
I'm sorry he's unavailable to read this. I think you two should take things easy. Latin and Anglo souls are very different, and, as you can only judge things in the f... (read in full...)
Afraid my small weiner will put her off!
Q. This is really urgent i am new to ths so i hope it gets sent out. I have a really small penis it is roughly 5 inches when erect. Can anyone tell me what the average size is? But thats not all my girl wants us to masturbate each other this SATURDAY. ...
A. 6 July 2007: I know this Saturday will be special for you, and I assume you're having these questions in anticipation for it. Man, everyone has had those concerns, and in the end we all learn to enjoy ourselves. Whatever the size of your penis, that's what ... (read in full...)
Do I stay put or emigrate to be with my bf? What is the best thing to do?
Q. I am 35, separated (after 13 years of marriage) and have no children. I have wanted to change career for years and have just taken the plunge now to start on a degree course as I regretted not doing a degree in my late teens / early twenties - many ...
A. 6 July 2007: First, I would like to talk about mistakes. I agree you don't have time left for them. However, I'm sure you know no one can really expect not to make mistakes ever. So, I think you should approach this situation trying to make the best decision, ... (read in full...)
I have a hard time trusting people so does my bf want me or just the sex?
Q. do my boyfriend really cares deeply about and love me. are just wanting to have sex with me? it's hard for me to trust people. what should i Do? ...
A. 6 July 2007: I think you should provide us with more information before we could give an opinion. Maybe you can update on this?... (read in full...)
Not sure if I'm ready for marriage and kids with this guy! Does that make me weird?
Q. I don`t know whether I am in love with my boyfriend. I dont know whether I am in love with my boyfriend , I think I love him. We firstly moved in together when we were just mates and he kept asking me out and asking me out and I said no unti...
A. 6 July 2007: An excellent answer from LauraE.... (read in full...)
How do I get someone out of my head?
Q. Hi, I am from the US; I work full time (40hrs/week), I go to the gym, I read, I go out to the bars on the weekends, I watch movies, I volunteer at a children's hospital on the weekends, etc... But even with doing all this, I still feel overwhelmed ...
A. 6 July 2007: All the posters have given valuable opinions. I just would like to say that, in my opinion, you are past someone when 1) you understand, with your mind, that the relationship is over and 2) you accept, with your heart, that, yes, it's over. I ... (read in full...)
I want to have sex with my girlfriend to bring us closer but she wants to wait
Q. Hi there. Im a 17year old virgin. Well... ive been with my girlfriend for 5 months now. I love her so much but i wanna feel so much more. And we were discussing sex. And she says shes going to wait til she gets married. I heard sex takes your ...
A. 6 July 2007: rk06 has the words of wisdom.... (read in full...)
My straight friend who has a girlfriend made out with me; I like him but I don't want to hurt anyone
Q. I am a comfortably gay 24 year old male. Recently I met a 23 year old straight male that I have hung out with a couple times and really have come to like (both as a friend but also am strongly attracted to him). We were out late last weekend and he ...
A. 6 July 2007: If you don't want to hurt anyone, stop seeing this guy. He's taken; you'll find someone else.... (read in full...)
How can my boyfriend beef up and put on some weight?
Q. My boyfriend is very skinny. It was natural because it was INBORN. When he was born, he is very vulnerable because he is so skinny. But when he grew up, he had some fats. But not much. Now he wants to Have more body to please me. I feel sorry for ...
A. 6 July 2007: If you are with him twenty years from now, you will complain about how fat he's become. As the other poster said, love him for who he is.... (read in full...)
Is first time sex painful for men??
Q. dunno why im gonna ask this question so here goes when ur havin sex for da first time it might be painful women but is it painful for a man...
A. 6 July 2007: Gee. I didn't know this.... (read in full...)
My mum told me of how they live on £4.50 a week when she was younger and I think jeez I almost get twice that an hour lol.. does anyone else feel the same ?
Q. I work over 50hr weeks and my jobs very physical so I'm tired all the time and I find myself day dreaming most of the time when I have the time during work whilst waiting for the next task.. jeez my day dreams seem better than anything else in life ...
A. 6 July 2007: I agree with Dixie, but I have something to add myself.
You know, many people around the world live with less than one dollar (0.5 pounds) a day. That's 3.50 pounds a week. And many of those lives are happy and worth living.
I think your ... (read in full...)
I've got low self-esteem and am afraid of rejection
Q. There's this guy I really like but I've no idea whether he feels the same way. I'm really scared of rejection because I'm shy and have really low self esteem, so i really don't know what to do. ...
A. 6 July 2007: I say, when you close the door to pain, you also close it to love. Loving someone means taking chances. Eventually you'll get rejected. But, that won't be the end of the world. At some point, you'll have something wonderful going. Cheer up and ... (read in full...)
We've broken up a couple of times and there's no real spark; should I try once more anyway?
Q. Hi Everyone. Your help is needed - again! My partner and I split up in February after just over 4 years of being together. I have a son (12) from my previous marriage and he has two lads (13 and 17). We didn't live together so the split wasn't ...
A. 6 July 2007: I don't see how two people who don't love each other anymore might still want to restart a relationship, particularly if we consider that you found it to be a habit. So, I think there's more than just "caring" here; maybe you did have a good thing ... (read in full...)
My gf and I can't go a day without arguing! She says being around me makes her angry. What should we do?
Q. My girlfriend of 2 years and I have been fighting alot lately. We can't seem to get along and not argue for more than a day. She says lately being around me makes her angry and in a bad mood. I really want this to work but I am not sure on what to ...
A. 6 July 2007: Well, I don't think there's hope in this one. If you cannot be together anymore, I guess the logical step is to finish the relationship.
If I were you, I would walk away for a while, not telling her anything. If she doesn't show up, well, yo... (read in full...)
How can I tell him no, I've changed my mind about a 3-some?
Q. My boyfriend is also Bi, so he loves the idea of a threesome. Me on the other hand I'm not a fan. I find it wrong, because when you make love it's a bond between the two of you and a third party just ruins it for me, but lately I thought about it ...
A. 6 July 2007: Listen to the ladies. They have told you what you need to know.... (read in full...)
I've lost my sex drive; any ideas why or how to get it back?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for three years but over the past 9 months or so I seem to have lost my sex drive as well as anything physical. Any ideas how to make this come back or why maybe?...
A. 6 July 2007: I understand women sometimes do lose some of their sex drive. I've heard it can be considered "normal". I offer this information as I received it, as I am a male.... (read in full...)
I want my ex back; should I contact her or wait to see if she'll contact me?
Q. I have been broken up with my ex girlfriend (we dated for roughly six months) for 15 days now. Afew weeks before the breakup, she backpacked in Europe with a girlfriend of hers, and stated she felt a sense of independence upon returning. She ...
A. 6 July 2007: I think it's best if you wait for her to make the move. My experience is, NEVER push it. She decided to end things; I don't think she has changed her mind. If she had, well, she would have contacted you.
You're not apathetic towards her. Yo... (read in full...)
I think I might be pregnant; my boyfriend and I are happy but I'm worried about how others may react
Q. Hey guys. My name is Gemma and I am 18 years old. At the minute I am worrying about whether I could be pregnant or not and I don't know what to do. Me and my Boyfriend would love to have a child together and feel ready and committed to have a child ...
A. 6 July 2007: I assume you're not married to Boyfriend, or you wouldn't worry about your family's reaction.
I say, whatever their reaction of what people think, if you want to have family, well, do. It's time you make your own decisions.... (read in full...)
I don't want to leave him but he's getting violent because I don't feel like having sex
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for two years, and we have been engaged for five months. Although he's eleven years older than me, we've always gotten along together really well, with no problems. We have arguments every now and again, that don't ...
A. 6 July 2007: You have your answer, lady. Leave him now.... (read in full...)
What's the average penis size?
Q. what is the average penis length and girth im 6.5 in lenght and 5.5 in girth iv read so many websites and suryes and im still as confused as before as to what the average is iv never had any complaints and always asked women who iv been with how ...
A. 6 July 2007: Well, I think you got the best answer possible. A lady has just told you you should focus on other issues. She should know better.
Also, I need to tell you that, whatever the size or the average or whatever, you've only got what you've got. If... (read in full...)
I ended an affair with the brother of my baby's dad but now I regret it
Q. I am 22 and I have a 3 year old child with this guy...but I am in love with his brother, and the feelings are mutal, and we've been seeing each other for about 7 years. Our relationship has been a secret since I got pregnant with his brother's ...
A. 6 July 2007: Well, this is a very difficult situation. I think I didn't get it right the first time. I understand that
1) You've been seeing Brother 1 for seven years.
2) However, you got pregnant, on a fling, by Brother 2, three years ago.
3) Many... (read in full...)
Maybe the reason why I find my boyfriend's best friend attractive is because I am unhappy with our relationship
Q. I have this problem. Maybe the reason why I find my boyfriend's best friend attractive is because I am unhappy with our relationship, because of my boyfriend's attitude: Sometimes, he so immature. He can't understand the reason why I am always ...
A. 5 July 2007: You should try to do three things: Try to have a better relationship, try to stop lecturing the guy, and ignore your feeling. If your relationship doesn't work at all after you try the first two, well, it would still be awkward to have something ... (read in full...)
I tend to get major erections in the presence of my SISTER-IN-LAW in our house
Q. I tend to get major erections in the presence of my SISTER-IN-LAW in our house. I know this is wrong, but I do it to test her reaction. So far, she hasn't said anything to me. My wife told me to stop walking around the house in my boxers, but I st...
A. 5 July 2007: I'm with the ladies. Do you really think anything good can come out of this?... (read in full...)
We don't choose to be attracted to people. It just happens. When it does, should we just dismiss these feelings under the aegis of "respect"?
Q. I recently posted regarding my problem, that is, I have very strong feelings for a married female co-worker. I got the expected responses (i.e. stay away from her!!!) but my feelings persist. I simply cannot stop thinking about her. I won't bore ...
A. 5 July 2007: No, pal, there is NO way to respect this marriage and your feelings, too.
You mention a point that is way, way important: You don't think she shares your feelings. You also say you have never been good at reading women. Well, then, proceed ... (read in full...)
I ended an affair with the brother of my baby's dad but now I regret it
Q. I am 22 and I have a 3 year old child with this guy...but I am in love with his brother, and the feelings are mutal, and we've been seeing each other for about 7 years. Our relationship has been a secret since I got pregnant with his brother's ...
A. 4 July 2007: You got yourself in a hell of a mess. You should never have anything to do with in-laws.
I don't think any of you loves each other. If you did, you wouldn't be seeing any other people.
Suppose you stay with this man. How are you going to exp... (read in full...)
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