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This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
28 November 2010: Recently, I found this poem by Maya Angelou. I think it pretty well summarizes how women should feel about themselves. Here it is, in case it benefits anyone. PHENOMENAL WOMAN by Maya Angelou Pretty women wonder where my secret lies I'm n...
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This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 December 2008: Something one of my aunts sent me: When I was born, the doctor went to the waiting room and told my father: "We did all we could, but he was born alive". My mom didn't know whether she should keep me or the placenta. Since I was born before ...
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She says she loves me but needs time; I don't know how to handle it
Q. Please help me i just want to die. My girlfriend that im mad about just broke it off between us. she says she just needs to find out what she really wants, but she doesn't know. she doesn't know if she wants to be in a relationship but she still lo...
A. 4 July 2007: I can only give you the same advice as before. Nothing has really changed.... (read in full...)
She says she loves me but needs time; I don't know how to handle it
Q. Please help me i just want to die. My girlfriend that im mad about just broke it off between us. she says she just needs to find out what she really wants, but she doesn't know. she doesn't know if she wants to be in a relationship but she still lo...
A. 2 July 2007: You see?... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is being put off by my family's doubts
Q. Hi I am 7 months pregnant by my boyfriend of 9 months. The problem is my parents are not very supportive of me bringing this child into the world with someone they hardly know plus the fact that the relationship is long distance but I reason I have ...
A. 2 July 2007: I would find it difficult to forgive him, too, and the reason is not strange at all: you need him the most, and the man goes away. I think it's a bad sign that he left Saturday but said he was leaving Sunday. And, maybe he cannot handle your ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my new girl the details of my last relationship?
Q. Hey, am wondering if you could help me please. A few months ago, I was with a girl for all of 8 hours before she told me she wasn't sure if it was what she wanted. nothing more than a kiss ever happened, and that was the end of it. Tried to be f...
A. 2 July 2007: You should never mention any previous affair. Why? If she asks, well, then do. But, otherwise, why do you want to upset her?... (read in full...)
He left me as he felt I was pressuring him but he's the only man I've ever wanted to commit to
Q. For the first time in my life I found the man I wanted to marry. I am a successful attractive 38 year old female with a history of dating many nice men in the past but this one in particular stole my heart like no other. He has ended the ...
A. 2 July 2007: It is very, very difficult. As you very correctly said, madam, this break-up is not the same as when you're 25. This means a hell of a lot more. Generally you should avoid being pushy or needy, but, in this case, you have nothing to lose.... (read in full...)
We want to take things further without having sex; what do we do?
Q. Yesterday my girlfreind slept over at my house and when my parents went to bed we watched a DVD and when it finished we snuggeled on the sofa and all night she hinted and told me she wanted to take the relationship further without having sex. This...
A. 2 July 2007: I think you should go for her. But, don't forget to use contraception. None of you wants a baby at this moment.... (read in full...)
Should I play it cool or forget the whole thing?
Q. Hello all im new to this site and im really in need of some advice. I recently looked up a girl i dated when i was 15 and we fell hard for each other but the sad thing is she moved a short time later while we were together and then i seen her again ...
A. 2 July 2007: If I were you, I would go for her. 'Tis better to have loved and lost...... (read in full...)
I am a single guy and i think i have fallen in love with a married woman.
Q. I am a single guy and i think i have fallen in love with a married woman who i work with. She has been with us about four months now and she is a very attractive sophisticated lady, and i have total respect that she is married. However i do sence a ...
A. 2 July 2007: Well, dating a married woman does a damage to the husband, whether you like it or not. In this light, you are not doing the right thing. Also, what if she has children? I know these things happen, but, as a rule, you should never flirt or t... (read in full...)
She says she loves me but needs time; I don't know how to handle it
Q. Please help me i just want to die. My girlfriend that im mad about just broke it off between us. she says she just needs to find out what she really wants, but she doesn't know. she doesn't know if she wants to be in a relationship but she still lo...
A. 2 July 2007: We've all been there. If she's not sure whether she loves you, well, let her go. Give her time to make her mind up. No matter how bad this seems to you, or much it hurts, DON'T contact her; that will make things worse. If she loves you, she will ... (read in full...)
How will I know when he's climaxed if I go on top?
Q. My boyfriend wants me to go on top during sex. But if I'm on top when we're having sex, how do I know when he's climaxed?...
A. 2 July 2007: That's no problem: if the physical signs are not there, he can tell you.... (read in full...)
Till Death Do We Part - A True Story
Q. Doesn't anybody stay together anymore? In this day and time, it is so easy to get a divorce or even better...just live together to "see if it works out" first. Don't get me wrong, I personally believe there are good reasons to divorce, and I know I ...
A. 1 July 2007: Cateyes, I think I understand you better than other people, as I am Latin American myself and saw many of the things you described. Yes, it would be nice to have the sort of relationship your parents had. Not easy these days, isn't it? I know ... (read in full...)
Can a person find love if they suffer from anxiety and depression?
Q. Can a person find love if they suffer from anxiety and depression? Hi, I am a 25 year old male who suffers with anxiety and depression. My main goal in life is to sort out all the problems I have and get my life back on track. Because I have ...
A. 1 July 2007: Yes, man, as long as you keep trying. You know, your problems are not that uncommon. You will need a lot of will power to overcome your problems, but that's the good part of it, if you care to see it this way: You'll achieve a lot more than ... (read in full...)
I told him to keep my number incase things didn't work out between him and his girl. He said yes. Does he still like me?
Q. please help, i have met a really nice guy problem is now i am single he has been seeing someone for a couple of months, i know he fancys me still becouse he keeps looking at me, so i had a bit to much to drink the other night and text him, i wrote ...
A. 1 July 2007: I'm not sure he still likes you. Maybe he just wanted to be considerate to your feelings. In any case, time will tell. Keep your spirits up.... (read in full...)
I'm 13 years older than him... Is that bad?
Q. is 13 years older bad? Ive got chatting to a really sweet man but problem is he is 18 and im in my 30's, he wants to met up, im a bit unsure because of the age gap but he looks older then his age. any advice?...
A. 1 July 2007: In principle, age differences should not matter. In this case, I think it does. You're an adult and he's still in his teens. I think his perspective in life is very different from yours. He is not in the same stage of life you are, either. So, ... (read in full...)
Where do you met people in their 30's?
Q. Where do you met people in their 30's?? I have had a enough of internet dating it hasn't worked me and just getting fed up and losing faith that there is a mr right for everyone. I'm 31, have a good job quite good looking but I just cant see...
A. 1 July 2007: I've never been to Britain, so I cannot help you as to location :-). In your post, you don't mentioning going to bars, but, all the same, let me give you this piece of advice: if you want significant company, it's unlikely you'll find it in bars ... (read in full...)
My husband still says 'I love you' to his ex!
Q. My husband still tells his ex-girlfriend that he loves her. Am I wrong to fell up-set about this? I don't mind them still being friends, I find it very disrespectul that he contiues to tell her he loves her after I have told him how I feel about the ...
A. 1 July 2007: I don't think that his telling her he still loves her is a good sign. However, I would proceed the way AskEve recommends.... (read in full...)
She cheated on me but I still love her
Q. Hi i am a 16 year old male i have just broke up with my girlfrend she got blind drunk at a party and had sex with another man. she said she didnt meen for that to happen i do believe that. We broke up that night she told me, she said she had lost ...
A. 1 July 2007: No, there is nothing you can do to change her feelings. All you can do is accept what she is telling you and walk away in silence. Picture this: if you lost feelings for this girl, would anything she did make you change your mind? There's the ... (read in full...)
My husband kissed another man and he and I don't have sex
Q. People might find this question funny or stupid but I'll go ask anyway. How will you feel if you see your husband kissed another man... on lips. Will it occur to you that he's gay? I was disturbed and I confronted him about it and he said it's a j...
A. 1 July 2007: Well, I come from macho Latin America, and, among us, we never kiss a man in the lips. We may kiss our fathers, or our children, but never another man.
I know that things are different in other parts of the world, but, to me, the man might be... (read in full...)
Is it worth telling my ex how I still feel about her?
Q. I used to see this girl we dated for eight months then one night she calls me and tells me that she wants to take a brake from us because our relationship was getting to serious for her “the whole sex thing”. So she broke it off with me and she ...
A. 1 July 2007: No, it isn't. She already knows how you feel.
I have a horrible question to ask: How long will you continue to wait?... (read in full...)
I have this dreadful feeling that she has made her choice, and it's not me. Can the friendship be saved at this point? Can I make this work?
Q. I'm in a very confused spot right now. Over the past year or so, I met a great girl in college and we became close friends right away. Over the time we've known each other, I developed a pretty heavy crush on her. She had a boyfriend for as long as ...
A. 1 July 2007: What you saw on her MySpace was wat HE said, not what SHE said. I wouldn't worry about what the boyfriend says.
I do want to stop in what she says. She said she needed to think things through. Give her the time she needs. Don't contact ... (read in full...)
I like a guy who is only 10 years younger than my mum. Could this work?
Q. Hi, I hope you can give me some advice. I am a single mum and I've been single since I split from my daughter's father 3 years ago. My ex and I get along well and he still is a fantastic Dad and my daughter loves his gilfriend, so I have no problems...
A. 1 July 2007: A lonely person cannot be abused or hurt, but she can't be loved, either. I think you're too young to swear off men. I would understand it if you became pickier; but, though nobody is perfect, there is someone out there who would truly love you. ... (read in full...)
I am having a few problems trying to overcome an abusive relationship and wondered if anyone can help?
Q. I am having a few problems trying to overcome an abusive relationship and wondered if anyone can help. We split almost a couple of months ago. Within our relationship, though on occasion he could be thoughtful, intelligent and caring, he also had...
A. 1 July 2007: This is a complex situation. I wouldn't like to be in your shoes.
In view of all the things you have gone through, I don't think keeping in touch with him would be a good idea. If I were you, I would simply try to live a life in which he will ... (read in full...)
He couldn't get an erection, now I'm afraid to bring it up--help!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 months and are in love with each other. The problem is, each time we have tried to have sex, he couldn't obtain an erection. He said he wanted nothing more than to 'be with me' and I could tell he was ...
A. 1 July 2007: The man is nervous. If he stops thinking about it...... (read in full...)
I've broken up with my married lover...any help?
Q. I know this sounds like the old cliche, I'm going with a married man, and it is but ... how do I deal with this. I'm single\divorced. Ive been seeing a married man for 17 months. I live in London and he lives in Manchester however he lives...
A. 1 July 2007: rythmandblues said it all. But, I understand your pain, madam.... (read in full...)
My ex is back in my life...is it possible to try again?
Q. Hoping that someone can give me some advice here. My ex and I broke up two years ago as he moved back to his home city and I did not go as I could not relocate with him. I was pretty gutted for awhile as we had been together for ten years but I am ...
A. 1 July 2007: I think we should never close the door to love. If I were you, I would become his friend -if he wants that, and he's not just resorting to you at this particular moment- and, if he should hint he wants something deeper, then I would let him know ... (read in full...)
He wants me to get a brazilian, but I dont think I want to
Q. My boyfriend wants me to get rid of my hair in the genital region. I'm not too sure about this. I feel like I have to because he won't find me atrractive if I don't but at the same time, why should I HAVE to do it? The main reasons why I don't want ...
A. 30 June 2007: I don't think you should shave just because he wants you to. I understand your wanting to be attractive to him, but, aren't you already? My opinion is, if you don't want to, don't.... (read in full...)
We were f*** budies, but now I want something more
Q. dear cupid, i've been seeing a guy unofficially for about 18 months- we're good friends and really fancy each other but recently i've realised i've completely fallen for him. we both promised each other that aside from our friendship it was...
A. 30 June 2007: If I were you, I would tell him what you want. My opinion is, you should always try; if you fail, at least you tried.
Good luck.... (read in full...)
He broke up with me, but is still sleeping with me
Q. I think i already know the answer to this but i wanted advice anyway... i came out of a 4 year relationship a few months ago. My boyfriend dumped me because i'd slept with someone else at uni. He was very understanding but still couldn't be with me. ...
A. 30 June 2007: His behavior IS out of order. I don't think you need to pass through this to "pay" for sleeping with someone else. You deserve respect as well, madam. If I were you, I would tell him that you know you did was wrong but you want a relationship. ... (read in full...)
She broke my heart but wants to be friends
Q. hi again plz read my other question:posted on 28th june She went away for 4 months and I missed her terribly. Now she's dumped me. What can I do? we have been together for 5 years iv tryed giving her space but she txt me last ...
A. 30 June 2007: I agree with Aunt Audrey. There is no use in trying to win her heart again, as her mind is made up. Pay attention to the fact that first she went away and then SHE dumped you. Now, all you can do is move on. If I were you, the next time she se... (read in full...)
I want to help him but I can't take much more
Q. BoyFriend Lives with EX WIFE who cheated while they were married. I know in my heart he has not dealt with these feelings of infidelity and I feel like I am caught in the middle. 1 1/2 ago he introduced me to her as she was a bartender at the time. ...
A. 30 June 2007: I don't think you can help your boyfriend. He wants to be with that woman. Let him deal with his own problems. Now, if I were you, I would stay away from him. Move on and be happy.... (read in full...)
What are some effective ways to beat boredom?
Q. Is w**king the only way out for people who are burned out / depressed / bored? What are the other effective ways to deal with this feelings?...
A. 30 June 2007: Going out with friends?... (read in full...)
Can a man's penis get smaller from excercise? Or is it steroid use?
Q. I know this sounds a ridiculous question but I have been doing weights and exercise at the gym and I heard that sometimes mens penises get smaller because they exercise. Is this true or is it linked to some of them using steroids?...
A. 30 June 2007: I don't think that exercise alone will reduce the size of your penis. I've never known that to be the case. Now, I don't know about steroids. But I wouldn't use them anyways.... (read in full...)
What will it taste like if I ejaculate in his mouth?
Q. ive been with my boyfriend for 6 weeks i have been divorced for 5 years but never done adventrose things with my ex, with my new fella it great but he wants me to cum in his mouth an i not sure ??? can anyone tell me what it taste like?????please ...
A. 30 June 2007: I agree with flower girl. Let the man have what he wants.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has suddenly said he needs time to be sure that I'm the One
Q. My boyfirend of three years has asked for some time. We are supposed to move in together this December and i am starting school by his house this summer. He said that he loves me but just wants to be sure that this is it. We still talk a little on ...
A. 30 June 2007: I have come to dislike the man. I don't think he is doing the right thing with you. By now, he should not be asking for time to make up his mind. I think he already knows he doesn't want to be with you but he doesn't want to deal with the ... (read in full...)
How can I help him get over the feelings he still harbours for his ex, so I can date him?
Q. Is there any way to help the guy I like, who was recently dumped, get over his ex so we can date? He really loves/d her, and I know he likes me and wants to see what could happen with him and I... but he needs time to deal with his other confusing, ...
A. 30 June 2007: I would do what flower_girl recommends, but I would also hint him that you are very much interested in him. I say a hint because maybe he would reject you if you were too open about your feelings. Be around, do nice things for him, and he might, ... (read in full...)
I can't stop thinking about him. I tell myself, I need to move on. I don't deserve him for all he's done to us.
Q. I want to be able to love again and be loved. The father of my child emotionally hurt me after all I've done for us to maintain a stable living situation. Our relationship at that time was rocky because I couldn't trust him (he's cheated on me), ...
A. 29 June 2007: I guess the problem is, you have committed a lot to this relationship and then it's so difficult to let go of it. Maybe you think that if you just wait a little longer he will change. It's easier to move on when you can get mad at the person, but, ... (read in full...)
My wife and I are increasingly sneaking off for 'quickies'; I think we're becoming addicted!
Q. Hi im 33 and have been maried to my wife for 7 yrs. Our sex life has always been great and dispite having a teenager and a baby. Well this all started a wekk last thursday so about 9 days ago the baby was asleep and our teenage daughter was out with ...
A. 29 June 2007: Irish49 said it all.... (read in full...)
I cannot get my girlfriends number of sex partners out of my mind
Q. Well, firstly this is a great forum. Hi, My problem is that I cannot get my girlfriends number of sex partners out of my mind..:( I Try though.. I would appreciate very much answers from women and don't be ruff on me. I know I shouldn't care,...
A. 29 June 2007: The anonymous answerer is absolutely right. Now, I want to add some male perspective. Doesnt't her previous experience make her a better lovemaker? What if YOU had more sexual experience than her? Maybe you feel that somewhat you won't be up to ... (read in full...)
I became obsessive over him. Now that we've broken up, I can't stop thinking about him.
Q. Please help. Im sorry if this question drags on a little but I really need help. I had a long distance relationship for two and a half years. My boyfriend and I had initially an amazing, intense relationship, then became quite unhealth...
A. 29 June 2007: I don't think you're obsessed, but heartbroken. When we're heartbroken, we want someone to give us a magic formula that will work as a charm for us to get over the person we loved. But, what we really want is someone to bring that person back to ... (read in full...)
I love her but she's left me twice for other men
Q. I dated this girl for just under two years, and in that two years we've lived together, shared our lives, and it seemed to be going perfect. Thats about when she left me for another man, for really no absolute reason, hence she came back to me. I...
A. 29 June 2007: I guess you'll find it extremely difficult to do, but you need to forget her. You say she left you for no reason the first time; well, I don't think someone takes a different partner "for no reason". And then, there must be a reason for her l... (read in full...)
Can the DearCupid men elaborate on their views on porn?
Q. Hi, I just read some answers to a question that was posted about porn and some answers from you guys were that men look at porn stars who are completely different for what they go for in real life and it's not a threat at all to their partner. ...
A. 29 June 2007: Thanks for waiting. Here are my thoughts on this issue: The lady who originally posted this subject wanted us to elaborate our views on porn. She could not understand why a woman should not think of her man "using" porn as a threat to her. ... (read in full...)
Why am I always attracted to guys much older than myself?
Q. Hi, I've always been attracted and have dated pretty much always older guys, far older than me. Like I'm 18 but the guys I date are around 30 of age. Why is that? Is there a reason why I'm attracted to older guys?...
A. 27 June 2007: There can be many reasons, and I think I would have to know you personally to be able to tell. I assume that younger men have indeed tried to date you. What has happened then?... (read in full...)
Will I ever be any more than my neighbour's friend?
Q. Next door neighbor - women and I have had a friendship/sexual relationship on and off for the past seven years. About 16 months ago she came to me and told me she loved me and wanted a relationship. At the time she was depressed and not happy with ...
A. 27 June 2007: I don't think she really loves you. On the basis of past mistakes of this sort, I can tell you this much: if I were you, I would simply walk away in silence. No harm done to either party, and you can still save the friendship if you're both ... (read in full...)
Can the DearCupid men elaborate on their views on porn?
Q. Hi, I just read some answers to a question that was posted about porn and some answers from you guys were that men look at porn stars who are completely different for what they go for in real life and it's not a threat at all to their partner. ...
A. 25 June 2007: Well, I see your point, and it's VERY interesting. It had never occurred to me that women could feel this way. I have found this to be the case in many situations and I very much want to explore these things. So, since you girls were kind enough ... (read in full...)
Can the DearCupid men elaborate on their views on porn?
Q. Hi, I just read some answers to a question that was posted about porn and some answers from you guys were that men look at porn stars who are completely different for what they go for in real life and it's not a threat at all to their partner. ...
A. 25 June 2007: It's difficult to give a general answer regarding porn. We men are all different, some of us are young and some old, and we all have different tastes. So, it is difficult to answer your question in a general way. I would say, though, that por... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has suddenly said he needs time to be sure that I'm the One
Q. My boyfirend of three years has asked for some time. We are supposed to move in together this December and i am starting school by his house this summer. He said that he loves me but just wants to be sure that this is it. We still talk a little on ...
A. 24 June 2007: I'm not so sure whether he just wants to think things through. You've been together for three years already. I assume that the idea of moving in together did not come all of a sudden, but as a result of the time you've been with each other. I am ... (read in full...)
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