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This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
28 November 2010: Recently, I found this poem by Maya Angelou. I think it pretty well summarizes how women should feel about themselves. Here it is, in case it benefits anyone. PHENOMENAL WOMAN by Maya Angelou Pretty women wonder where my secret lies I'm n...
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This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 December 2008: Something one of my aunts sent me: When I was born, the doctor went to the waiting room and told my father: "We did all we could, but he was born alive". My mom didn't know whether she should keep me or the placenta. Since I was born before ...
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My boyfriend has suddenly said he needs time to be sure that I'm the One
Q. My boyfirend of three years has asked for some time. We are supposed to move in together this December and i am starting school by his house this summer. He said that he loves me but just wants to be sure that this is it. We still talk a little on ...
A. 30 June 2007: I have come to dislike the man. I don't think he is doing the right thing with you. By now, he should not be asking for time to make up his mind. I think he already knows he doesn't want to be with you but he doesn't want to deal with the ... (read in full...)
Can the DearCupid men elaborate on their views on porn?
Q. Hi, I just read some answers to a question that was posted about porn and some answers from you guys were that men look at porn stars who are completely different for what they go for in real life and it's not a threat at all to their partner. ...
A. 29 June 2007: Thanks for waiting. Here are my thoughts on this issue: The lady who originally posted this subject wanted us to elaborate our views on porn. She could not understand why a woman should not think of her man "using" porn as a threat to her. ... (read in full...)
Will I ever be any more than my neighbour's friend?
Q. Next door neighbor - women and I have had a friendship/sexual relationship on and off for the past seven years. About 16 months ago she came to me and told me she loved me and wanted a relationship. At the time she was depressed and not happy with ...
A. 27 June 2007: I don't think she really loves you. On the basis of past mistakes of this sort, I can tell you this much: if I were you, I would simply walk away in silence. No harm done to either party, and you can still save the friendship if you're both ... (read in full...)
Do I talk about my feelings with her? Or just let it go and continue talking with her as we have before.
Q. I told my friend that I liked her a lot and she is okay about it. She says we're still friends. Is there a reason why she wouldn't be so freaked out by me telling her I like her more than a friend? I'm going nuts about what I did and even more so ...
A. 27 June 2007: If you told her you liked her and she said you're friends, that what you are. I know this isn't easy at all, but, don't push it. Continue to be her friend, just as usual, if you feel comfortable with it. If you don't, walk away in silence. ... (read in full...)
I don't know if he really likes me or wants me just for sex and I don't want to lose him. What should I do?
Q. I am a 16 year old virgin and don't know if I'm ready to have sex or not! I love my boyfriend to death, I've been with him for four months already and he's always asking me if I want to do it but I know I'm not ready. I'm scared if i don't do it ...
A. 27 June 2007: Well, I think I cannot know whether he wants you for the sex only, either. But I do believe that, if you're not ready for it, you shouldn't do it, no matter what. And, you should never have sex just to make someone happy.
... (read in full...)
I feel a chemistry with a man who isn't my husband--is it all in my head?
Q. dear cupid, i'm in a bit of a dilemma, to say the least. i've been married for nearly 7 years though cant say it's been any kind of relationship apart from co parenting for at least 4 and i am terribly lonely and miss love in my life and my husband ...
A. 26 June 2007: Thumbs up for Sweet-thing. She said it all.... (read in full...)
Could this older guy like me and just be shy?
Q. I am 28 yrs old and have been working w/ my co-worker who is 40 yrs old for the past year. In this year we have gotten to know each other better and we often go out with our boss and his girlfriend -a.k.a also our friend as a group. The first time ...
A. 26 June 2007: I think he might like you, and maybe he's too shy to tell you. If you like him, let him know. Now, if he's shy, he may not be able to take subtle hints, so, let him know in a way that can spare you an embarrasment, but also convey the message.
... (read in full...)
She wont tell me why we are breaking up!
Q. my girlfriend refuses to talk about why we are spliting up and i just can't live without her what can i do...
A. 26 June 2007: Brandi said it all.... (read in full...)
He ejaculated on the outside of me. Can I still get pregnant?
Q. I had unprotected sex with my boyfriend the other night, and although he didn't ejaculate inside of me...he did on the outside of my vagina. Immediately I took the sheet and wiped all of it off. Is it possible for me to get pregnant anyway? Any help ...
A. 26 June 2007: Yes, it is. There is a small discharge of semen before the actual ejaculation. That can make you pregnant, too.... (read in full...)
Is it safe to have unprotected sex during your period?
Q. this is so stupid but I have been having protected sex for months now but i wondered if you can have unprotected sex during your period?...
A. 26 June 2007: You should never have unprotected sex. Some girls have actually become pregnant while they were having their period -a matter of irregular ovulation. And, there's always the risk of disease.... (read in full...)
Really we are just roommates. Is it worth hanging on to?
Q. my boyfriend and I work different hours. He works night and I work day. For the first 2 years of our relationship it worked out fine, but the past two year have been a battle for me. We live together and spend a total of about 29 hours a week ...
A. 26 June 2007: In my opinion, this is worht it if you want someone who is just a roommate. If you want a boyfriend, I'm afraid this is much less than I would settle for. Seems to me that you're just used to each other.
Have you tried talking to him and aski... (read in full...)
I struggle to keep my erection during sex, but it comes back when I stop--help?
Q. My penis starts losing it's erection while i'm having sex, and if I pull out it starts erecting again. Any idea why it loses it's erection?...
A. 26 June 2007: Frank said it all, man.... (read in full...)
Do all men play games?
Q. Do all men play games? I realize I've been out of the dating scene for most of my adult life due to a long term relationship that ended. I am seeing a new guy, and we've been together for about a year but I still get the feeling at times, that he ...
A. 25 June 2007: Not all men play games, madam. Maybe your boyfriend is inconsiderate, or maybe he is indeed playing you. One third option could be that you're somewhat insecure about the relationship (I wouldn't know with the information I have available)
It is... (read in full...)
I visit prostitutes about once a week and it taking it's toll on me! Any advice?
Q. Hi! I´m a 27 years old guy who has a problem with prostitutes. I have not girlfriend for long time and everytime i feel the need of have sex i go to see prostitutes or i even call them to visit me to my house. I usually have sex with a prost...
A. 25 June 2007: All I can say is, if you notice it's taking a toll on you, stop it.... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant and my boyfriend sometimes denies it's his; I think he may be cheating too
Q. I am almost 8 months pregnant. Me and my boyfriend have been together for around 11 months. He has an ex who says that they are still having sex. One day I seen he had a hickey on his neck and I could still swear that i didn't do. If i did I don't ...
A. 25 June 2007: You're not bad for feeling this way. It's a tough situation you're going through. Your man is a bad man, dear. I do believe he's cheating on you. This is not the man you would like to have around. I agree with Myesha: If he should continue ... (read in full...)
Can the DearCupid men elaborate on their views on porn?
Q. Hi, I just read some answers to a question that was posted about porn and some answers from you guys were that men look at porn stars who are completely different for what they go for in real life and it's not a threat at all to their partner. ...
A. 25 June 2007: Well, I see your point, and it's VERY interesting. It had never occurred to me that women could feel this way. I have found this to be the case in many situations and I very much want to explore these things. So, since you girls were kind enough ... (read in full...)
I'm in a loveless marriage; should I leave?
Q. Do I abandon a passionless marriage? He loves me, I know -- but he's not in love with me, never has been. And he's trying, he knows we're in deep stuff here. But it's been 20+ years of little romance, an ever-decreasing amount of sex, and such a ...
A. 25 June 2007: Some of the issues you raise here are beyond me. But I think I can offer some help. A friend of mine was in a situation like yours and he decided to stay with his wife until his children were old enough. When he finally broke the news to them... (read in full...)
I have faded stretch marks on my breasts; is this a turn-off for men?
Q. Um, well the thing is, is that im super insecure about my breasts. I have a nice set, or so Im told, but the have stretch marks on them because they grew so fast. The stretch marks arent that visible they are a white color but Im always afraid that ...
A. 25 June 2007: For some men, it is a big deal. For some others, it's not. For me, it wouldn't be a problem. I have stretch marks on my knees (my soccer years), and I know those marks are there through no fault of my own. And I don't think anyone has noticed ... (read in full...)
How do I say no to dating him without ruining our friendship?
Q. Okay one of my best friends, Cat, recently broke up with her boyfriend. Now he claims that he's in love with me and recently broke the news to Cat. She asked me if I had feelings for him and I said I obviously didnt. Now he wants to ask me out...how ...
A. 25 June 2007: He may be able to be just friends with you, and then he may not. However, that does not depend on you; it's a matter of what he feels. So, there is a chance you will ruin the friendship if you tell him you don't want to date him. But then, how ... (read in full...)
Can the DearCupid men elaborate on their views on porn?
Q. Hi, I just read some answers to a question that was posted about porn and some answers from you guys were that men look at porn stars who are completely different for what they go for in real life and it's not a threat at all to their partner. ...
A. 25 June 2007: It's difficult to give a general answer regarding porn. We men are all different, some of us are young and some old, and we all have different tastes. So, it is difficult to answer your question in a general way. I would say, though, that por... (read in full...)
I'm ready to have children but he keeps avoiding the issue
Q. Im 32 and im ready for a baby. my boyfriends lovely but avoids talking about the future and doesnt know when he'll be ready for children. i really am ready now and its hurting me by waiting. i don't think he's ready to grow up. i love him so much ...
A. 25 June 2007: It's nice of you to update on the subject. Well, I think three years of relationship, and the fact you're living together, should be enough for him to know whether he wants to settle down with you or not. He's old enough to figure what he wants ... (read in full...)
She slept with someone before I even met her and my jealousy is consuming me
Q. I have a girlfriend who I love very much, but before I met her she slept with a colleague of mine. I cant help thinking about it and everytime I go for a drink with friends I end up finishing with her for this one reason. I also get very angry and ...
A. 24 June 2007: Don't sweat it. You're plain wrong. What she did before you is not your business. You will get over it if you understand it so. ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for us to orgasm at the same time?
Q. Every time me boyfriend and I have sex, I am on top. Is this normal, I mean my friends always say they are never on top, and I know that usually the man is on top but my boyfriend doesn't like to be on top, and he doesn't seem to know how to ...
A. 24 June 2007: I don't see anything wrong with your being on top. It's all a matter of preferences. Things are fine between you two if you agree to it. Now, having an orgasm at the same time is what some people wish they had and don't. Enjoy!... (read in full...)
I'm ready to have children but he keeps avoiding the issue
Q. Im 32 and im ready for a baby. my boyfriends lovely but avoids talking about the future and doesnt know when he'll be ready for children. i really am ready now and its hurting me by waiting. i don't think he's ready to grow up. i love him so much ...
A. 24 June 2007: I think I would need to know how long you've been together before giving an answer. If you've been together for a year or so, maybe it's too early. If you've been together like ten years, well, that's a whole different situation. Would you update ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has suddenly said he needs time to be sure that I'm the One
Q. My boyfirend of three years has asked for some time. We are supposed to move in together this December and i am starting school by his house this summer. He said that he loves me but just wants to be sure that this is it. We still talk a little on ...
A. 24 June 2007: I'm not so sure whether he just wants to think things through. You've been together for three years already. I assume that the idea of moving in together did not come all of a sudden, but as a result of the time you've been with each other. I am ... (read in full...)
Does anyone think that telling my straight friend I fancy them is a good idea?
Q. A bit of an open question- do you people think that it is the right thing to do to tell a straight friend of the same sex that you fancy them, or to ignore your felings cos you know nothing will ever happen between the two of you?...
A. 24 June 2007: I agree with flowergirl.... (read in full...)
We're on a break to make or relationship even stronger. I'm scared she'll go off with someone else.
Q. Hi I've been dating this girl for about 4 years, and things were going pretty good, we had our ups and downs but we always got through everything. we even could laugh at ourselves in any argument. Recently she just decided that she wanted a break to...
A. 24 June 2007: When anyone you're with asks you for "space", it's always a bad sign. I fail to see how a relationship can grow stronger if you put an end to it. She says she'll let you know her decision "in a few months". How many months is that? What if, ... (read in full...)
She's not against the idea of her and me but the fact that it's a long distance relationship.
Q. Right! Met this girl about 7 months ago.... got on really well, very heated and all that. She tells me she was only here (where we were) for the weekend, then she went back. We stayed friends and a week later shes going out with someone where she ...
A. 24 June 2007: Yes. If I were you, I would let her know, politely, that you want her to "take the leap". If she's interested in you, she will come your way. However, I don't think she is: she has a boyfriend. Maybe the long distance thing makes her think ... (read in full...)
He's being off with me and I feel very unloved. What should I do when all he does is blame me?!
Q. HI, Please help me. Me and my boyfriend have been going through a bit of S*** latley. Im really In love with him. But yet recently I think he's being off with me. I've asked him and he denies it. A few close friends of ours agree he is being off ...
A. 24 June 2007: This sounds like there are problems which are not being addressed. Maybe you can get to talk to him and tell him that there's a problem. Don't tell him that you FEEL there is a problem, because he will take the easy exit and deny there is a ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is 17 years older than I--I worry about how other people see us!
Q. I'm dating a man 17 years older than me. I really like this guy but sometimes I wonder how people view us as a couple. I think it personally doesn't matter but I would like to know what other peoples' views on this are? ...
A. 24 June 2007: Fully agree with DV1 and Carina.... (read in full...)
I'm afraid of getting my heart broken!
Q. Boy trouble! I really like this boy and I think he likes me to, but I don't want my heart to be broken again. If you were in this situation what would you do? Please help! ...
A. 24 June 2007: If I were you, I would take my chances, dear. Otherwise, true love will never come your way because you will keep your door closed. Just be careful.
I wish you good luck.... (read in full...)
We agreed to try for a baby--now he wants me to get rid of it!
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 5 years we are also living together. We both agreed to try for a baby--then last week when I found out I was pregnant I told him and he was so disappointed and told me to get rid of it. I was so confused...
A. 24 June 2007: There's good reason for you to be confused. Reaching out to people is the reason why we come here, so I'll try to help you.
Maybe you see this situation as "do I keep the baby, or do I keep him?" Now this is a decision you should not need to ... (read in full...)
We have a connection but he also has other women
Q. I was divorced 10 years ago, and have not had a relationship since then. I am not desparate, and am quite happy and content. But I have now met a lovely man who seems crazy about me. The feeling is mutual. The problem seems to be that he has seve...
A. 24 June 2007: Now you are a classy lady!
I wish he could appreciate you for what you're worth, which is pretty much.... (read in full...)
I said we could be friends...but I don't believe that anymore--is that wrong of me?
Q. I am hoping that one of the agony aunts can help me sort this out. I had a bit of a fling with a guy and then found out he had a girlfriend. I had known him for a long time before anything happened and was hurt when I found out but we maintain...
A. 24 June 2007: You have done no wrong.
To me, you had this "fling" with him because you were sincerely interest in him. If he had been honest with you -and his girl-, he either would not have had the fling, or would not have kept his girl. His saying that he ... (read in full...)
Blow jobs concerns. Help!
Q. My bf wants me to give him a blow job, and I'm quite happy to, to say the truth I'm quite excited for the occasion. Just a quick question however, I've promised him that I will not spit and I intend to keep that promise, it is safe to swal...
A. 24 June 2007: Oral sex can give you a disease. Check this out: http://aids.about.com/cs/safesex/a/oralsex.htm Are you sure he's healthy? If he is healthy indeed, then there's no health problems to worry about. Would he agree to oral sex with a condom?... (read in full...)
We have a connection but he also has other women
Q. I was divorced 10 years ago, and have not had a relationship since then. I am not desparate, and am quite happy and content. But I have now met a lovely man who seems crazy about me. The feeling is mutual. The problem seems to be that he has seve...
A. 24 June 2007: I don't think the woman is at his home as a friend only. And I don't think he will be leaving them, either. We agony aunts may misjudge people, but I feel that, since he knows how you feel about him, he shouldn't be bringing people into his home, ... (read in full...)
How do I move on when I still love him?
Q. I'm not really sure what to say...well here it is. My long term, long distance b/f and I realised that it wasn't going to work out. There is just too much distance, money and difference in culture involved. But there is also a lot of love and there ...
A. 23 June 2007: If I were you, I would still contact him and, at the same time, I would try to move on. Now this is hell, but it's also the right thing to do. You are not parting ways because you want to, but because life has put you on different paths. That ... (read in full...)
Am I average height?
Q. i am 16 and a half years old, and 5 foot 9.74 inches. i feel that all of the boys that i know are taller than me. i know that i am not VERY small, but i can't help but feel that i am below 90% of the boys that i know. Am i of average height?,...
A. 23 June 2007: I understand your worries about your height, as I used to worry, too, when I was your age. Now, time has taught me that your height isn't important. I should add that I'm 5 feet 7 inches :-). Where does that leave me? I don't care. Most girl... (read in full...)
I'm in love with my closest male friend.
Q. I'm in love with my closest male friend. For about 4 years now i've felt realy realy close to him and for the past year i've been wanting more that his friendship. he knows i like him because one night i got drunk and told him. he told me that he ...
A. 23 June 2007: I don't think you should stop being his friend. I do think, however, that you should move on. I bet he knows you very well, and maybe he finds that you two would not work as a couple. I don't think that insisting would do any good. Sometimes... (read in full...)
He broke up with me out of the blue and he's already dating other women
Q. I had a long distance relationship for 6 months. I thought we loved each other very much.he had never been in a committed relationship before. we were getting so close to moving in together. we even started planning for a baby, looked at rings, ...
A. 23 June 2007: I agree with Yos and Aunty Sarah, and I would combine their answers into one. So, I don't think you should try to win him back. And, I don't think you should wait for him to come back to you.... (read in full...)
I'm in a secret relationship with an older man--should I be afraid of the law?
Q. Please help me--I am in a 1 year 7 month secret relationship with a 31 year old man. We love each other to bits. Can he get in trouble with the police if my parents go to the police? And we both want to try for a baby--can he get in trouble ...
A. 23 June 2007: I don't know what the age of consent is in Britain, but I'm afraid that he's doing something illegal. Where I live, in Latin America, sex with someone younger than 18 is statutory rape. So, yes, he may be in legal trouble.
Now, my dear, I think ... (read in full...)
Secrets damage the relationship and are not about space....
Q. My partner of 5 yrs has been wonderful,he's a great dad and even a great partner,however just bout a week ago, he decided to "claim his own space"with a account with a website...not porn. I tried to make him realize we shouldnt have secrets(...
A. 23 June 2007: From what you say, I don't think you should worry about his cheating or something. Maybe he's just telling the truth: he wants some "space" of his own, some interest you don't share and he wants to have for himself.
Secrets sometimes do damage r... (read in full...)
I hate porn and no guy I am with is going to look at it!
Q. Are there an men who would be satisfied with one female sexualy? Is this too much to ask? I mean not be interested in porn etc...I ask this because I am considering whether to start dating again..Frankly Im very against porn for political and ...
A. 23 June 2007: Yes, there are men who would be satisfied with one woman only. Many of us would. However, most of us do watch porn until a significant one comes along. I think I would not lose a lot of money (quite the opposite) if I bet a teenager he's lo... (read in full...)
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