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This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
28 November 2010: Recently, I found this poem by Maya Angelou. I think it pretty well summarizes how women should feel about themselves. Here it is, in case it benefits anyone. PHENOMENAL WOMAN by Maya Angelou Pretty women wonder where my secret lies I'm n...
Just some fun!
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 December 2008: Something one of my aunts sent me: When I was born, the doctor went to the waiting room and told my father: "We did all we could, but he was born alive". My mom didn't know whether she should keep me or the placenta. Since I was born before ...
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I havent heard from him in a week, did he lose interest?
Q. I have been friends with a guy for a few years now, and he gave me his email and told me to keep in touch with him as I was leaving school for the summer. I emailed him a very quick message, just so he knows my email address, and he responded with ...
A. 14 July 2007: I've been in the exact situation as you, only I am the male. I think I can relate to you.
E-mail may not be very personal, but I don't see why it's inappropriate in this situation. You were trying to get close to him without making any mistakes... (read in full...)
I can't seem to stop thinking about her at home or at work and am starting to think I need to quit my job to stop me feeling so low.
Q. I've worked for a mobile phone company for 5 years and from the day I started I have always got on with a woman in my team who is 20 years older than me... I have always had feelings for her and found her very attractive, she has now left the team ...
A. 14 July 2007: Yes. My advice is, don't quit your job. If you did, your heart will feel broken for a long time, and, on top of that, you will not have money.... (read in full...)
I want to swing, but my wife doesnt
Q. My wife and I are still young, We are both 34 and we have been together for 17 years, highschool sweet hearts and I love her very much. But lately, I have been expressing to her how much I would like to be with another couple. She is a very ...
A. 13 July 2007: I'm with Irish49.... (read in full...)
What turns a guy on?
Q. Guys what turns you on? How can a girl make sex better for you?...
A. 13 July 2007: I like eyeswideopen's straightforward answers :-), but, as is often the case, I'm with Eddie.... (read in full...)
Is she running from something? if so, is she running from something in herself to where she occasionally runs into me and is reminded that we are a rock together?
Q. A THREE PART LOVE(?)STORY. I. I met her about four years ago, she was 19, I was 23. We began spending a lot of time together and within a few months we were living together happily. that lasted about 15 months. After about a year (give or ta...
A. 13 July 2007: I cannot say whether she's using you, she's fleeing from something, whatever; but whatever her reason, it's pretty obvious she doesn't want a real relationship with you, and, from what I see, she never will.
This might have one of three endings:... (read in full...)
I want my girlfriend to suck me off but she won't.
Q. I want my girlfriend to suck me off but she won't. How can I persuade her otherwise? I go down on her but she won't repay the offer....
A. 13 July 2007: Other people have already said you cannot (and must not) force her to do what she doesn't want to do. I agree with them. I would like to add that you should not see sex as "repayment". If you want to give her oral sex, well, do it because you ... (read in full...)
I am attracted to other girls. Does that mean I am not comitted to my girl?
Q. I am a 26 year old male. I have been with my girlfriend (who is the same age) for two years now, we rent a place together and it has got to the stage where we are looking to buy somewhere. Obviously this means more commitment. I am worried becau...
A. 13 July 2007: It's not wrong to find other women attractive. You have eyes. The problem is in following that attraction. You have cheated on your girlfriend with these girls because you have given in to the attraction.
I say, either stop this, or leave yo... (read in full...)
How can I sort out my situation, it's a mess.
Q. Dear Cupid I am with my boyfriend for a little over a year now. When we first start dating he would flirt, cyberchat with other girls, while still dating me. He dumped me once three months after being with me and we got back together a month...
A. 13 July 2007: My advice is that you do break up with this man. What you describe is an awful relationship. He doesn't respect you in the least. He doesn't loveyou: if he did, he wouldn't behave the way he does. And, I feel like he is keeping you hostage. ... (read in full...)
He says he doesn't trust me and therefore doesn't believe that I love him and most importantly he doesn't love me.
Q. I am 19 and have been with my same age boyfriend for a year. We had a thing four years ago when relationships didn't really matter. I emotionally cheated on him and broke up with him for this other guy. He loved me and I pretty much broke his heart. ...
A. 13 July 2007: I'm not sure if I understand your relationship.
a) Your boyfriend says he doesn't trust you, and he doesn't believe you love him, but he's still with you
b) Anyways, you define the relationship as "fantastic".
c) He doesn't believe you love... (read in full...)
What should I do? Does he really just want to be friends again?
Q. My ex and I were best friends. We started dating in high school. Recently we were together for about four years, but my ex broke up with me to marry one of his ex-girlfriends. They have a baby on the way. However, my ex calls me after five months ...
A. 13 July 2007: I agree with Been There Done That (Donna). He doesn't want to be friends. He wants to get into your pants. I think you shouldn't let him.... (read in full...)
I love my guy but when we are away from each other over summer break I feel its ok to have sex with other guys.
Q. ok so been with my man for almost 3yrs and we have gone our seperate ways on holiday for the summer i am completely in love with him and would never wanna lose him but wen ppl go away im a believer in the theory that different rules apply!i met a ...
A. 13 July 2007: I disagree with the poster.... (read in full...)
We talk, we cuddle, we have sex. But he says we are just friends!
Q. I met this guy online. We met, had a couple of dates then he said it wouldn't work. A few weeks later he contacted me again to see how I was and to apologize for hurting me. We now get together and see each other. He says we are just friends and ...
A. 13 July 2007: I agree with Lisag.... (read in full...)
We dated, she left. We dated, she left. Now she's started speaking to me, but she's backing off again!! I'm so confused!!
Q. Hey! Sorry for such a long post. But I really need some advice. The problem I’m having is to do with my ex girlfriend. We were together for around 4 months, and split up 6 months ago. It wasn’t my choice and was the last thing I wanted, as I had ...
A. 13 July 2007: I know it hurts like hell. And, I know that we all think we should give it just one more try and perhaps things will work.
With my heart, I see why things are very hard for you. You slept with her only a few days ago. Now that is the sort of ... (read in full...)
He broke up with me because he doesnt think we have time for each other
Q. Hey people. My boyfriend and I have been dating since the 24th of March and I've become really attached to him, however we had sex on the first date, and we have rarely met up to do anything other than lie in his bed other than maybe once or twice. ...
A. 12 July 2007: In my opinion, he wants to end it. He's very logical if you base your thoughts on this. He won't listen to you about the time together because he doesn't want to.
In my opinion, it was also very bad that he finished with you on MSN. I don't th... (read in full...)
Does anyone have any advice about overcoming your lover's past?
Q. I have been dating this girl for almost a year now and I know that she is the one... I feel it deep down inside and I am not ignorant to the desires of my heart or soul. However, there is a slight problem, and that is with her past actions wit...
A. 12 July 2007: Listen to Eddie, man. That's all you need.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is studying overseas and we barely get to see each other, how do I handle it?
Q. I don't want to make this long so here's the deal. I met my bf in December of 2005. We have been dating since. In September of last year (2006) he went away to med school in Israel for 4 years. The first year is almost up and it has been one of the ...
A. 12 July 2007: Where I live, I saw the case of two people who were apart for an indefinite period of time. You know, he was an American citizen who married a Nicaraguan girl, and they were waiting for her resident visa. It took her something like five years to ... (read in full...)
2 years and 2 kids later... I feel bored and think he is cheating!
Q. Dear Cupid, I have been with my boyfriend for about 2 years and our relationship has got boring. All we ever do is work and then see each other at night and we do the same thing over and over we dont do anything and we dont go out anywhere. We...
A. 12 July 2007: In my opinion, routine is killing you two. You two need to agree on new things to try.
If you have no evidence of his cheating, then you need to act as there is none. I think you wish there was a way out of this routine and cheating would be... (read in full...)
We're on a break but I think she's just keeping me handy until she finds a new guy
Q. ok so she wants space, i wanna know what that means exactly. we've been together for a year now, recently we have had a few fights. the other week she broke it off with me and she says she wants space. i ask if its a break or a break up, she says a ...
A. 12 July 2007: I like flower girl's response better, because it goes right to the point, but I also like flyingskirt's, because she conveys the idea that your girl does not necessarily need to be a monster who is playing you. All people have conflicting ideas ... (read in full...)
Why did she break up with me out of the blue?
Q. My girlfriend of 1yr 1/2 broke up with me after 1 big dance that we both had fun at not directly after but the dance was friday she broke up with me with a note that she didn't even had me herself on monday anyone got any suggestions how i could ask ...
A. 12 July 2007: I'm with love-him, and I have something to add: this didn't happen out of the blue. You don't fall out of love in a second. There were problems and this was her way to deal with them.... (read in full...)
I've just broken up with a player, I'm not devastated and I didn't love the bloke, but I soooooo want to teach him a lesson!
Q. Ok ok, for starters I don't want do gooders here! I don't want comments or advice from people who think I'm sad and bitter and I should move on and forget and forgive ok? I've just broken up with a player, I'm not devastated and I didn't love the ...
A. 12 July 2007: Tellulah is right. Don't put yourself at risk. I had missed this possibility.... (read in full...)
We dated, she left. We dated, she left. Now she's started speaking to me, but she's backing off again!! I'm so confused!!
Q. Hey! Sorry for such a long post. But I really need some advice. The problem I’m having is to do with my ex girlfriend. We were together for around 4 months, and split up 6 months ago. It wasn’t my choice and was the last thing I wanted, as I had ...
A. 12 July 2007: Guys, I know this hurts. But, THIS IS THE WAY TO GO. All the other options are futile and hurt a lot. Believe me, I've been there and made all the mistakes; I put myself on your shoes with my advice.... (read in full...)
Am I a lesbian or am I just curious?
Q. Ok. I know that quite a few people am probably going to say I'm too young to really know what I'm feeling but whilst I understand that and know my feelings may change as I get older right now this is impossible. I'd begun to suspect I might be gay/ ...
A. 12 July 2007: Good luck, dear.... (read in full...)
The new guy I'm seeing is amazing! The problem is my friends - they say he's too ugly for me and that I'll end up hurting him!
Q. i have being seeing a guy who i think is amazing. We seem to get on so well, and have such a connection. All the past guys i have dated have all been boring and i he just makes me laugh so much. I love spending time with him, but problem is none of ...
A. 11 July 2007: You know, love is a very personal thing. If you feel happy with this guy, you are the one who counts. It is a gross mistake to go for a person on the basis of what other people say we should do. You need to have an opinion of your own, as this is ... (read in full...)
Back to square one in getting over my ex after listening to a song she told me to listen to.
Q. I have a problem regarding my ex, basically the backstory is we were together for 7 years, lived together for 2 and two months ago i proposed to her in paris as we had talked about it for years and i felt ready to pop the question, she accepted and ...
A. 11 July 2007: I am with Jendorset, but I would like to say things in more detail than she did.
We need to be fair to all parties, even those who don't come to us for help, but we also need to bear in mind the needs of agony nieces and nephews. So, my basic in... (read in full...)
He has a girlfriend, but we have feelings for each other. He kissed me, too. Is this considered cheating? Is he using me?
Q. Thers's this guy i know who works in at my local gym. He's 25 and I'm 16 but i really have feelings for him and he has for me. He has a girlfriend but the other day we kissed. Is this regarded as cheating? Or should i be worried that he is using me ...
A. 11 July 2007: Yep, I think you should be careful here. He is cheating on his girlfriend. And you don't really know how serious he can be about you. I'm afraid he might not.
I have advice for you. Never, ever, date someone who has a relationship, whatever... (read in full...)
My job sucks and I'm just unhappy in general. What can I do?
Q. I'm not satisfied with my life. I never am happy- well not for long. I only want little things in my life to be right but they never do and other people always have it easier- they get things handed to them on a plate or get things easier for ...
A. 11 July 2007: Many of us are not satisfied with our lives, and we work to change that. This is the mindset you need. Some people get things the easiest of ways; most people don't, and this is fine. Whatever you get, you'll have gotten yourself, despite all ... (read in full...)
She asked for a break...but is she stringing me along?
Q. So I'm really confused. About 2 months ago my girlfriend of about a year and a half told me that we needed to take a break. At that time, I was working a lot and going through some roommate issues and I was not really there for her. When we first...
A. 11 July 2007: I think you are right: you are not moving in a positive direction. You are not this girl back. You know why I know? Because I've been there.
If you could put your feelings aside, you'd notice that the relationship is sliding down, not up. If ... (read in full...)
To all the women who AREN'T bothered by their partner watching porn; why?
Q. Wow, this porn issue is huge and obviously we women are bothered a lot by it. But there are women out there who AREN'T, and it is to these impressive women that I go to for advice: Why aren't you bothered by it, and what can you suggest to help ...
A. 11 July 2007: I take notice of all this :-). I've been doing a lot of the answering myself.
Poster, would you want to discuss this issue with me, one on one? I think you have more pending issues. And, this is interesting.
Take care,... (read in full...)
My wife wants me to sleep with her sister...is that wrong?
Q. Dear Cupid, I have a good relationship with my wife even though there was some infidelity on my wife's part a few years ago. Her sister has also been a victim of infidelity, and hasn't had sex in years with her husband who is just not interested in ...
A. 11 July 2007: I'm with Eddie.... (read in full...)
What is the key to have great sex? The one time we did, she told me what to do. But she said she doesn't like giving orders!
Q. I have been in a relationship for a few months with someone that I am very serious about and I am very much attracted to. I have not had a lot of experience with sex but even less experience in serious relationships. My partner complains that I ...
A. 11 July 2007: I have this question for you, man. If she didn't have the experience, would you be willing to help her learn?
I say, if she doesn't want to help, well, no sex then. I would suppose she cares for you and doesn't want to make you feel hurt, as... (read in full...)
We dated, she left. We dated, she left. Now she's started speaking to me, but she's backing off again!! I'm so confused!!
Q. Hey! Sorry for such a long post. But I really need some advice. The problem I’m having is to do with my ex girlfriend. We were together for around 4 months, and split up 6 months ago. It wasn’t my choice and was the last thing I wanted, as I had ...
A. 11 July 2007: KJ, I've been there. If you didn't live in Britain and I didn't live in Latin America, I would think it's the same girl. My advice, from the bottom of my heart, and from the best of my mind, is that you need to move on.
I know how hard this is;... (read in full...)
Never had an orgasm! Is there something wrong with me?
Q. please help me im 35 with 2 kids and have never had an orgasam been married 13 years why is this is there something wrong with me...
A. 11 July 2007: I hope you do solve this issue with him.
You know, I understand that you're not the only woman to never have an orgasm. I recently saw a post by another lady who said she never orgasms through intercourse alone. Many women need other forms of... (read in full...)
My husband to be says that in the past month my vagina feels much larger and he is finding it difficult to have an orgasm
Q. My husband to be says that in the past month my vagina feels much larger and he is finding it difficult to have an orgasm.... We have been making love for the past 3 months and I have one child aged 19, I am 46 my partner is 44. Why is this ...
A. 11 July 2007: I believe the marijuana has a lot to do here. And the situation you describe suggests he has some psychological issues to solve, which make him lose his erection. Also, his saying that you're "loose" suggests that he doesn't get as much ... (read in full...)
I want to last longer sexually
Q. I was in a long distance relationship until very recently. We used to only have Sex a few times every 7 weeks or so and I found that I was ejaculating way too quick when having Sex. While she loved the "warmth" of me finishing inside her, I still ...
A. 11 July 2007: Carry on, man. You're doing the right thing for your future girl and yourself.... (read in full...)
He broke up with me, but we still love each other
Q. My boyfriend and I broke up a month ago, but I don't think either one of us is really over it and I want him back... He dumped me because he said he couldn't do it (not sure what that means). Although, he comes from not such a great family backgrou...
A. 11 July 2007: I don't think this is a mindgame. From what you've told us, he seems very much in love but very insecure.
I don't think he doesn't love himself. He is in bad need of improving his self-esteem, though.
If I were you, I would try one more tim... (read in full...)
I don't know what changed within me - I felt our relationship was a habit more than anything.
Q. My partner and I split up in February after just over 4 years of being together. I have a son (12) from my previous marriage and he has two sons 13 and 17). We didn't live together so the split wasn't messy. My feelings for him changed last summer ...
A. 11 July 2007: Yep. It's completely natural. Some people fall out of love.
If this is what you feel, you'd make a mistake if you went back to him; it would only add to the pain later. If you're civil to each other as things are now, well, apply the old prin... (read in full...)
How can I get her back into my life?
Q. I love her with my whole life. At the initial stage she agree to be my friend and had been loving too. But of recent, she just changed and had never being same again. All my effort to bring back the first love had been futile. Trying to forget her ...
A. 11 July 2007: I'm sorry, but you can't change this. All you can do is accept it. I wish I could say otherwise, but I can't.
Keep your spirits up, man.... (read in full...)
Will my body piercings turn a guy off?
Q. This is directed mostly to guys. I was wondering if body piercings turn guys off? I have six piercings on one ear and five on the other, and I want to get my belly button and tongue pierced. I just don't want to lose my chance with a guy, because ...
A. 11 July 2007: Some guys will be turned off, and some others won't.
However, if you like the piercings, you have a right to have them. I assume that the guys who wouldn't be turned off would happen to have similar interests with you.
If it's a specific guy y... (read in full...)
Should I tell her that I like her or will it makes things awkward?
Q. I have been good friends with a girl for a quite a while now. When we met, I wanted to take our relationship farther, but just then she started dating my good friend. I don't think she got a lot out the relationship, and they recently broke up. Now, ...
A. 11 July 2007: Seems to me that you'd be taking a lot of chances. If she is interested in this second best friend, maybe she will prefer him over you. I'm afraid that she sees you as a friend only. If she had feelings for you, she would have let you know. ... (read in full...)
Who agrees that a man really would choose a porn star over the woman he's with?
Q. I have read the many of the posts about porn and was interested in asking a question. One of the agony aunts (incidently who I think is excellent and gives very insghtful adice btw). said the following in response to a question about porn..I have ...
A. 11 July 2007: You may be right about some men, but not about all. If you were, it would basically mean that NO MAN in the world would think twice before hurting his wife, partner, girlfriend, et cetera; I hope you can see that this is at least statistically ... (read in full...)
How can I learn to be apart from my boyfriend without it driving me nuts?
Q. i dont know what to do. I have been with my b/f for over 2 years and i think i have changed since meeting him. He is my first serious relationship so i never really got attached to a guy before. But for a long time now--i found myself thinkin...
A. 11 July 2007: It's pretty obvious that you're insecure about him. You should talk to him to clear any doubts you may have. However, if you can see him 3-4 times a week, I think you should be sure he does love you and is committed to you.... (read in full...)
My husband to be says that in the past month my vagina feels much larger and he is finding it difficult to have an orgasm
Q. My husband to be says that in the past month my vagina feels much larger and he is finding it difficult to have an orgasm.... We have been making love for the past 3 months and I have one child aged 19, I am 46 my partner is 44. Why is this ...
A. 11 July 2007: I learned that the penis loses sensitivity as we age. Maybe this plays a role, too?... (read in full...)
Am I a lesbian or am I just curious?
Q. Ok. I know that quite a few people am probably going to say I'm too young to really know what I'm feeling but whilst I understand that and know my feelings may change as I get older right now this is impossible. I'd begun to suspect I might be gay/ ...
A. 11 July 2007: There can be doubt only about whether you're a lesbian. There is none about your friend not reciprocating, and about the need that you stop any advances or you'll destroy the friendship.... (read in full...)
He broke up with me, but we still love each other
Q. My boyfriend and I broke up a month ago, but I don't think either one of us is really over it and I want him back... He dumped me because he said he couldn't do it (not sure what that means). Although, he comes from not such a great family backgrou...
A. 10 July 2007: You know, maybe the low self-esteem is killing him. You have done a lot, certainly, but perhaps the man needs more. If you continue (for a while) to show him you do love him very much, he might just get the confidence he needs.
I honestly... (read in full...)
I want to last longer sexually
Q. I was in a long distance relationship until very recently. We used to only have Sex a few times every 7 weeks or so and I found that I was ejaculating way too quick when having Sex. While she loved the "warmth" of me finishing inside her, I still ...
A. 10 July 2007: Yep, she's right. There are many ways to last longer, and one of them is wanting to. I think a good search in Google will give you a lot of help, in a detail we should not present here.... (read in full...)
He broke up with me, but we still love each other
Q. My boyfriend and I broke up a month ago, but I don't think either one of us is really over it and I want him back... He dumped me because he said he couldn't do it (not sure what that means). Although, he comes from not such a great family backgrou...
A. 10 July 2007: He loves you a hell of a lot but he feels the relationship will not work out. And he's torn between his feelings and his fears.
You seem to want him back, too. I would try talking to him. Telling him exactly that, that you want him back, an... (read in full...)
Never had an orgasm! Is there something wrong with me?
Q. please help me im 35 with 2 kids and have never had an orgasam been married 13 years why is this is there something wrong with me...
A. 10 July 2007: I don't think so.
This you should solve with your husband, and he should be understanding and cooperative. I think he doesn't take you in consideration.... (read in full...)
Am I a lesbian or am I just curious?
Q. Ok. I know that quite a few people am probably going to say I'm too young to really know what I'm feeling but whilst I understand that and know my feelings may change as I get older right now this is impossible. I'd begun to suspect I might be gay/ ...
A. 10 July 2007: I see two different issues here. One is whether you're a lesbian; the other is getting over her.
Maybe you're a lesbian, yes. If you're not sure by now, time will tell for sure.
About your friend: if she says she doesn't reciprocate, wel... (read in full...)
I've just broken up with a player, I'm not devastated and I didn't love the bloke, but I soooooo want to teach him a lesson!
Q. Ok ok, for starters I don't want do gooders here! I don't want comments or advice from people who think I'm sad and bitter and I should move on and forget and forgive ok? I've just broken up with a player, I'm not devastated and I didn't love the ...
A. 9 July 2007: Sorry: "to make love to you". Do this more than once and that will hurt.... (read in full...)
I've just broken up with a player, I'm not devastated and I didn't love the bloke, but I soooooo want to teach him a lesson!
Q. Ok ok, for starters I don't want do gooders here! I don't want comments or advice from people who think I'm sad and bitter and I should move on and forget and forgive ok? I've just broken up with a player, I'm not devastated and I didn't love the ...
A. 9 July 2007: Tell him to come to your place to make love you to, and then change your mind at the very last minute.... (read in full...)
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