Confused swinger?
Q. My husband wanted to swing and searched another couple. We started with our own partners in the same room and then went for a full swap when 3-4 mins into that my husband said this wasn't for him... But back at home he says he wants to try it again ...
A. 16 April 2012: Do not inform him of your plans until you're ready to act on them. He may decide to cause you even more trouble between now and then.
Giving yourself a date to review your situation is probably a good thing. You can measure your progress and dete... (read in full...)
Confused swinger?
Q. My husband wanted to swing and searched another couple. We started with our own partners in the same room and then went for a full swap when 3-4 mins into that my husband said this wasn't for him... But back at home he says he wants to try it again ...
A. 16 April 2012: After reading your subsequent posts I strongly believe the time for talking is over. There is nothing here to fix. Your husband is self absorbed to the detriment of his family. He's a womanizer and a former abuser and therefore a threat to the well ... (read in full...)
All his text said was nite nite sweet dreams. Why didn't he comment on our day?
Q. Am i over reacting here,seen my boyfriend yesterday,we spent a nice afternoon together,we had some great sex too,later he sent me a nite nite sweet dreams text.now usually when we say good nite or good morning to each other,we always have a few ...
A. 16 April 2012: I think you're over reacting. If he said that every time he saw you it would lose its value.... (read in full...)
Translations please of guy-speak? Not sure what my Bf is implying.
Q. Guys, what does it mean when a guy says you are amazing as a girlfriend, but when you try to be pretty you are stunning but when you don't try your blehh? What does this mean in guy speak?...
A. 16 April 2012: This is not guy speak. It's just plain rude.
You look great when you get dolled up, but without the fancy hair and make up you're below average. That's what he means. ... (read in full...)
My cheap boyfriend tries to make me feel guilty to pay for our meals out!
Q. Lately, my boyfriend of 2.5 years has been giving me a guilt trip about not "treating" him to dinners. I'll ask him if we can go out somewhere nice, implying that I'll pay half, and he says "if you're treating, sure." He earns the most money out of ...
A. 16 April 2012: Two things will solve your problem. 1. Re-evaulate your definition of 'fair' and 2. Learn to accept it.
'Fair' does NOT mean split everything 50/50 right down to the last decimal point. It DOES mean coming up with an arrangement that works co... (read in full...)
My boyfriend fantasizes and approaches someone I know.. is it ok?
Q. My boyfriend who has two kids with two different women is very charming and affectionate. I accepted the fact of his past (which is no easy for women). However, now I am finding that he write fantasies with my zumba instructor. I stopped going to ...
A. 16 April 2012: His behaviour is definitely NOT appropriate. He isn't just fantasizing. He's actively pursuing other women and obviously he's not that worried about hiding it from you.
There is nothing to fix or work out here. You're better off just leaving ... (read in full...)
Confused swinger?
Q. My husband wanted to swing and searched another couple. We started with our own partners in the same room and then went for a full swap when 3-4 mins into that my husband said this wasn't for him... But back at home he says he wants to try it again ...
A. 15 April 2012: I have to agree with you and the others.
He's cheating, not by swinging or having threesomes, but by concealing his real motives. This exploration isn't something you're doing as a couple. It's HIS fantasy fulfillment and the only reason you've b... (read in full...)
Confused swinger?
Q. My husband wanted to swing and searched another couple. We started with our own partners in the same room and then went for a full swap when 3-4 mins into that my husband said this wasn't for him... But back at home he says he wants to try it again ...
A. 14 April 2012: This is very, very common among new swingers. The man is the driving force behind trying it and the woman is the driving force behind keeping it going.
When a man fantasizies about swinging he is focused on how it will benefit HIM. He assumes ... (read in full...)
Guys, are women with big boobs more 'valuable' than the rest of us?
Q. I was talking to my BF and he said that he was more inclined to treat a woman with big boobs with more care, respect and spoil her than a woman with smaller boobs. Of course I have a small B cup, and I asked him why he was with me. He said that I ...
A. 14 April 2012: First off, did you ask your boyfriend for this information or did he volunteer it? This doesn't sound like something he would have said out of the blue.
Based on how many other women have asked their partners for honest opinions, gotten them and... (read in full...)
My heart says wait, even though he disappeared again, over three months ago!
Q. The last time I saw him we were expressing our emotions to one another and he had said that he felt that I was the one for him and that he felt that way for a long time he also told me to be patient for him he had this amazing smile on his face that ...
A. 14 April 2012: Always, always, always follow your head, not your heart.
Whatever feelings he may have for you, they aren't strong enough for his actions to match his words. He has no problem not seeing or hearing from you for months on end.
Do not wait f... (read in full...)
I feel I'm wasting my time telling him the good stuff!
Q. Hi,I would like some advice on how to really convince someone that they mean a great deal to you.everyday i don't see my guy i always tell him how much i miss him and his cuddles and kisses but he never believes me,he is always saying i just say ...
A. 9 April 2012: I agree with the advice you've been given, especially SVC's suggestion that you say nothing and reconsider sticking around.
The fact is he does believe you care for him or he'd have left long ago. He tells you he doesn't because he wants you to s... (read in full...)
I really love him and want to be with him but I haven't been able to ignore that online situation that he has going on, which I've tried so far.
Q. I have to make a final decision and was wondering if I can get some opinions/advice here. My boyfriend and I have been together for 1 year 5 months. Well, I recently (December) found out that he's been having an online relationship wit...
A. 8 April 2012: I'm afraid I don't believe his bologna story. Even if true it still doesn't say much for him.
The bottom line is he's been having an online affair for quite some time. If he has no feelings for the woman then he's been stringing her along. H... (read in full...)
Should I be worried about his meaning? He said "you better be worth seeing" randomly
Q. Hey guys. My boyfriend said some thing last night and its bugging me, i dont know what he ment by it. He said "you better be worth seeing" randomly. Then i said what? And then he just completly changed the topic. We been togather for almost a yea...
A. 8 April 2012: I agree. It sounds as though he was talking to someone else. ... (read in full...)
What do I do about an ex friend who doesn't take the hint that I don't want to be friends anymore?
Q. Hi everyone. I don't even know how to ask this, so i'll just start here. I had a friend (female) who was incredibly mean and rude to me. She hated my boyfriend and got mad at everything I've done. I've actually posted about her twice on here before. ...
A. 8 April 2012: This sounds vaguely familiar. Blocking her seems the most obvious solution. If she can't reach you, she can't annoy you.
Failing that ignoring will work eventually is you're willing to wait it out. Some people take a little longer than others b... (read in full...)
Why is b/f so terrible about responding only to my messages?
Q. My boyfriend and I use a texting app that shows when the other person has read your message. Many times, he has read them right away but takes very long to respond or doesn't respond at all. On Facebook, I will message him when I notice he is online ...
A. 8 April 2012: I'm inclined to think it's option #2, that you're texting and contacting him too often.
There is less at stake and far fewer obligations with casual friends than with a girlfriend. Text messages and Facebook comments are usually light and non ... (read in full...)
I am not ready for a relationship. Is it unfair to ask him to wait for me?
Q. Hello. I could sure use some advice about my situation. I have recently separated from my husband. I have a very good friend who cares about me. He's single. He would be interested in starting a relationship with me. But he tells me he cann...
A. 3 April 2012: Not wanting him to date is reasonable. Expecting him not to so he can wait for you is not.
Neither of you knows for certain how long this process will take, how messy it might be or how much time on your own you'll need afterward. And if he di... (read in full...)
Is this a game to keep me and three kids on a string, instead of us both moving on?
Q. Is this part of his emotional games? My ex and i have been broke up for 4 mts now. When we were in a retionship our sexlife was non exsistent, we would go months without any intimacy and when we did it was never intimate. We had a good xmas and new ...
A. 30 March 2012: I don't think he is deliberately toying with you, but I do think he's trying to have to best of both worlds and not considering the effect that has on others, namely you.
You represent comfort, security, companionship, 'home'. You also represen... (read in full...)
Boyfriend thinks of me as a breeding factory, if I can't have kids, he'd leave me!
Q. I've been in a relationship for about 2.5 years with someone who is wonderful, caring, supportive, etc. We have been through a lot, and I sincerely saw him as the one. He already considered us married but it doesn't work that way for me. ...
A. 30 March 2012: Oh, I forgot to include this...and this is very important. Stick to your guns about not having children before marriage. You're absolutely right on that one and don't budge an inch. THAT does come across as him expecting you to prove your value ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend thinks of me as a breeding factory, if I can't have kids, he'd leave me!
Q. I've been in a relationship for about 2.5 years with someone who is wonderful, caring, supportive, etc. We have been through a lot, and I sincerely saw him as the one. He already considered us married but it doesn't work that way for me. ...
A. 30 March 2012: I know I'm going against the grain here, but I don't think he sees you as a breeding factory. He's simply informed you that having children of his own is very important to him. He also told you that though hurt, he would understand if you had to ... (read in full...)
I just used her for sex so how do I end it and still look good?
Q. I started screwing, nothing serious, around with this chick from my job when I'm home from college. She was a rebound girl from my last relationship and i wasn't being to pick when i choose her. I'm not saying I'm a great catch but I'm way out of ...
A. 29 March 2012: 'Not too picky' is an understatement.
You said she is a coworker when you're back from college. Does that mean most of the year you neither see nor hear from her? If so you may not have to say anything.
In fact it might be better for both ... (read in full...)
I can't let it go that my b/f had sex with his ex
Q. Should I split up with my boyfriend? To give you a bit of background knowledge, I started seeing my boyfriend after a drunken works night out and it very quickly turned into a boyfriend/girlfriend situation. At the time I was living with my b...
A. 28 March 2012: In vino veritas.
That he woulc call up his ex and have sex with her tells me he has unfinished business with her (not to mention almost no class).
You're passing up other opportunities in life to be with a man who obviously isn't giving any... (read in full...)
He will kiss me on a Monday through to Friday but never on a weekend when its my day of rest!
Q. i love my boyfriend very much, but i dont understand something he does. we hang out every day, and everything goes well, but on my days off (weekends) he goes and does other things, for instance tonight he is at his inlaws. i did work today for the ...
A. 25 March 2012: It seems Susie and I both missed something in your post. I missed the bit about the in-laws and Susie missed the bit about you spending all but two days a week, every week together.
Is he married or are these former in laws with whom he keeps in... (read in full...)
How can I convince someone I love that I don't intend to look elsewhere, as he thinks I will?
Q. Please can you you help me out with a really difficult situation. I have a friend that i have been inn love with from school since I was 14yrs. He now works for me a a manager in a domestic care business. We work together closely on our own 40 hours ...
A. 25 March 2012: Unless we're talking about advanced calculus or the tax code, 'I'm confused' usually means 'I don't want to tell you what I really want because it might hurt or anger you.'
He may like you, but obviously not enough to leave his girlfriend and what... (read in full...)
He will kiss me on a Monday through to Friday but never on a weekend when its my day of rest!
Q. i love my boyfriend very much, but i dont understand something he does. we hang out every day, and everything goes well, but on my days off (weekends) he goes and does other things, for instance tonight he is at his inlaws. i did work today for the ...
A. 25 March 2012: I guess he figures that your days off are his as well. You do see each other every day, Monday to Friday, which is a bit much for most people. He has friends, family he'd also like to spend time with, surely. Not to mention chores and errands of his ... (read in full...)
I don't want anything serious, should ask my friend for something casual?
Q. There's a friend I met at college by the start of October 2011. We are not really close friends, but we hang out well in college. I'd say I'm the person she talks the most to in college, although the person I'm the closest to in college is another ...
A. 25 March 2012: Losing a good friend for something non essential isn't worth the risk in my book, but I'm not you and we're not talking about me.
If you ask her it may turn out to be great. For a while anyway, but more often than not someone develops feelings... (read in full...)
I just used her for sex so how do I end it and still look good?
Q. I started screwing, nothing serious, around with this chick from my job when I'm home from college. She was a rebound girl from my last relationship and i wasn't being to pick when i choose her. I'm not saying I'm a great catch but I'm way out of ...
A. 25 March 2012: Is she under the impression you're looking for a relationship? Does she know you just broke up with someone? Having a better idea of what her expectations might be would help to answer your question.
Whatever the situation, I recommend you keep... (read in full...)
What are a man's intentions when he says this?
Q. what does a guy really mean, if he says " you looked pretty fine to me last night?" He has a gf, but they only been going out 2 months, and me and him were emailing b4 they started going out. anyway i turned up to his gig where he was playing ...
A. 25 March 2012: I don't know for certain what his intentions are or were, but the compliment, as he phrased it, was very forward and inappropriate whether he had a girlfriend or not.
Please don't waste precious hours of your life analysing this. At the end of t... (read in full...)
What can I say to make him understand?
Q. i went to the beach with my friends and we took pictures of the day. I posted them on facebook like i normally do when i have an event that i want to share with friends. My boyfriend is a jealous person, he's trying to fix it but he believe he could ...
A. 25 March 2012: The challenge isn't how to make HIM understand but how to make YOU understand that 'I demand' and 'If you loved me' amount to the same thing. You don't try to convince him. You train him. By completely ignoring his unreasonable expectations (o... (read in full...)
I blocked him on Facebook without telling him why, but I don't want to burn bridges because he could be useful in the future. Should I explain my actions? Or forget about it?
Q. Hi agony aunts. I was seeing a guy for about 2 months. It started out with us hanging out casually and then one night out of the blue he we made out no sex. (worst kisser i have ever had). After that the friendship bit got hazy, i tried to ask him ...
A. 23 March 2012: Don't announce that you've deleted/blocked him on Facebook, so no apology either.
Continue to be friendly, but formal. Keep a polite distance.... (read in full...)
People give me nasty looks, so when they get one back they don't like it! Why is this?
Q. I dont get it, People are rude to me give me nasty looks but then when i do it to them they dont like it. Well what do you expect? What you put out you will get back? If your nice people will be nice back. Why are people like that if they dont ...
A. 23 March 2012: People don't give me nasty looks. I find most quite friendly with me. Even strangers. Why are they so nasty to you? Could you be giving out something yourself that you're not aware of, or reading something into nothing?... (read in full...)
My wife is matron of honor, and the best man is her ex!
Q. My wife and I have a question about weddings and what to do. My wife has this very good friend. After me, I guess you could say she was her 2nd best friend. She's getting married this summer. She asked my wife to be her matron of honor. My wi...
A. 23 March 2012: I don't agree with your approach either. The wedding is not about you or your wife or even the ex boyfriend, but about the couple getting married. Surely you could both set aside your discomfort and allow a valued friend a few hours of your time and ... (read in full...)
Do I unleash that animal inside me that was there before we met and do I be myself
Q. i have been dating a russian girl (27YO) for 8 months.she is studying here and is looking for permanent residency. i consider myself and have been stereotyped in the bad boy category. during the time we have spent together she has tamed me somewhat ...
A. 22 March 2012: It seems your lady friend is fond of you but not quite ready to settle down. She did tell her family about you and had plans for you to meet them (assuming this is true).
There is nothing wrong with a man being the first to declare love if the r... (read in full...)
I think my son stole money from me, how do I approach him about this?
Q. I noticed money being missing, two £50 notes were missing. I live alone with my 18 year old son. today, I found a receipt for Tesco and it says £50 was paid, this was in my son's room. How do I approach him? Do I set a trap again or ignore...
A. 22 March 2012: You could address this issue indirectly or directly. Indirectly: Ask your son if he BORROWED any money from you (this allows him a face saving chance to come clean). If he denies it, tell him you know exactly what you had in your wallet and are c... (read in full...)
Dry humping and pregnancy?
Q. Im curious is it possible for someone to fall pregnant from dry humping. At first I thought it wasnt possible until someone said it happened to them. The thing is my friend and i were making out and he was dry humping me in just our underwear and he ...
A. 22 March 2012: Assuming, for starters, that your underwear was saturated with enough ejaculate, it is so highly unlikely that any viable sperm would enter the body and travel far enough up to impregnate, that I would say it is statistically negligible. Whom... (read in full...)
Should I change my hair colour for him?
Q. I am dating a new guy and his type is brunette with olive skin. I am blonde, which i dye. My natural color is dark brown. Should I go back to my natural color? He asked me to but acted like he was joking but i dont think he was. So stay blond or go ...
A. 21 March 2012: Do whatever makes YOU happiest. You're the one who has to live with it. He can walk away at any time.
And accomodating him like this so soon in the game sets a bad precedent. He will learn that you're prepared to go to considerable lengths ... (read in full...)
How can people compare porn to a romance novel?
Q. How can people compare porn to a romance novel? A romance novel is harmless words on a page, porn is a picture of a real person with no clothes on who exists who can easily be compared. Same with a vibrator it's a piece of plastic....
A. 20 March 2012: 'Fact: The majority of American women currently do better than men in most of the ways you can measure quality-of-life. Education, careers, satisfaction, health, legal/prison, dangerous jobs, control of spending money, etc. Women still have it hard ... (read in full...)
How can people compare porn to a romance novel?
Q. How can people compare porn to a romance novel? A romance novel is harmless words on a page, porn is a picture of a real person with no clothes on who exists who can easily be compared. Same with a vibrator it's a piece of plastic....
A. 19 March 2012: In a nutshell the reason porn is compared to romance novels is because they both allow the viewer/reader to become aroused by someone else. And the only time men even think to mention it is to justify their use of porn.
As person1234 eloquent... (read in full...)
How to get over his porn use?
Q. Does anybody have any tips on how to get over your boyfriend's porn use? I know some women aren't bothered or used to be and aren't now, I want to be one of these women to move on....
A. 19 March 2012: I agree that you should to overcome your insecurity about your boyfriend's porn use (assuming you were the anonymous female who said she felt more put out by the women she thought were more attractive than she is), but that does not mean ... (read in full...)
I think he's married but he denied and now has little contact with me!
Q. I've been dating my boyfriend for a few months now! i have asked him from the start if he was married he has repeatedly denied that he was! the other day another woman sent me a pic of him and his so called wife. When i asked he said it was his ex. ...
A. 19 March 2012: I think your trust has been misplaced. Another woman tells you he is married, you confront him and he withdraws. That sounds a bit suspicious to me.
... (read in full...)
My wife wants the woman I cheated with to tell her about things before she can let it go!
Q. hi there i had an affair 11 years ago and my wife found out 14 months ago .The affair lasted 2 a half years and my wife was devastated i have tried every thing possible to win her back.we have been on holidays i buy her flowers all the time and ...
A. 19 March 2012: Telling your wife it was just sex and it meant nothing won't help because it isn't true. We understand, as your wife does, that you're not in love with that other woman, but she was obviously worth the risk of losing your family so being with her ... (read in full...)
I feel like I am just an unimportant add on to his life.
Q. Okay so I have been dating my boyfriend for almost a year and a half and I have been very happy up until the last 3 months. I love him and still love seeing him etc. But I have been worrying about his lack of seriousness towards our relationship. ...
A. 18 March 2012: I hate to say this but I have to agree with your assessment of the situation. Clearly he is more a priority for you than you are for him. He has made it obvious where his true interest lies and it isn't with you. He's not ready to settle down yet,... (read in full...)
My cousin has been gloomy since I broke up with him
Q. Some time ago I fooled around with my cousin. I can't exactly call it fooling around because at the time we were both pretty serious about it. I know that dating between cousins is probably a big taboo but I honestly didn't care. He's a little ...
A. 18 March 2012: Don't tell me you're so naive you can't see what's going on here.
Your cousin is upset because he is still attracted to you and wants to keep dating, but can't. He's angry that he was dumped and he isn't mature enough to handle it appropri... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is upset that I lost my virginity to another during our break up
Q. I am in a long distance relationship because he is goes to college in washington and i live in florida. So we live on oppsite sides of the country. He is turning 20 this year and im 18. We were together for over a year when we broke up. He just sto...
A. 18 March 2012: I have to agree. Pampering his hurt feelings will only prolong them. HE broke up with you and very poorly, I might add. To end a relationship by simply ignoring his girlfriend until she goes away makes your boyfriend a cad.
And ditching another ... (read in full...)
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