My boyfriend is upset that I lost my virginity to another during our break up
Q. I am in a long distance relationship because he is goes to college in washington and i live in florida. So we live on oppsite sides of the country. He is turning 20 this year and im 18. We were together for over a year when we broke up. He just sto...
A. 18 March 2012: I have to agree. Pampering his hurt feelings will only prolong them. HE broke up with you and very poorly, I might add. To end a relationship by simply ignoring his girlfriend until she goes away makes your boyfriend a cad.
And ditching another ... (read in full...)
He unfriended me, and I found him on another site and sent him a message
Q. I have fallen in love with a guy I met online. I have only spoken to him online. I really liked him and a few weeks ago I wrote to him on IM and he asked me would I write to him in a few days. He said if we kept writing to each other everyday...
A. 18 March 2012: No, you should not have done that.
Is your stated age correct?
When someone tells you they don't want to talk to you every day, you accept it whether you like it or not. You don't argue or push for more. Just because you like someone doesn't ... (read in full...)
Answers required ASAP - I need to know how to show her I am the right guy for her
Q. Ok i have a really complicated situation. I was going out with this girl and we were both madly in love with eachother but i started to slip away and i broke up with her. our relationship lasted a year and 2 months. About a week later i realized i ...
A. 18 March 2012: The way to show her you're the right guy is to BE the right guy day in day out every day. Not just long enough to woo her away from some other guy. Even then there are no guarantees. There just aren't any magical words or actions anyone can give ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend wont spend mothers day with me - am I overreacting?
Q. This time last year my grandmother died and it is mothers day weekend as everyone knows and my mum is working all day today and tomorrow. My boyfriend knows how upset i am, i was crying yesterday because I am just feeling quite lonely. At Christmas ...
A. 18 March 2012: I agree with the others. I do think you're over reacting. Your post does indeed make you sound childish and needy. It's very sad that your grandmother died, but others are just as sad about her passing as you are and they seem to be getting on with ... (read in full...)
What did I do wrong to make a problem in our relationship?
Q. Dear Cupids Here is some background: Bf and I were together 2 1/2 years, he went away to boot camp for two months, he was supposed to be away for four but got medically discharged. While there he met a girl and they started sexting each oth...
A. 18 March 2012: What makes you think you did anything to make this problem in the relationship? Believing you are responsible for another's actions places a huge burden on you, gives them a free pass to do as they please and it denies them the chance to learn from ... (read in full...)
Is this cheating? should I say anything to her or let it go?
Q. I NEED SO MUCH HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!A couple weeks ago my GF and I broke up. We broke up for the weekend. She thought/thinks I am not the type to go hook up with other girls. Just because of my past and just who I am.. Well dating her I changed....
A. 18 March 2012: Thanks for the follow up (and clarification). I must have overlooked the opening line in which you said you and she had broken up a couple of weeks ago.
Technically you did not cheat if you really believed it was over, but you've broken up befor... (read in full...)
I'm not sure if my b/f of 7 years is ever going to totally commit to me
Q. Hi everyone, I would realy appreciate your thoughts on my situation as I am very confused. I have been with my boyfreind for seven years, I have two children and he has two grown up and a seven yr old. He proposed to me early on giving me a ...
A. 16 March 2012: That 'something' is the 7 years you've been together with nothing to show for it.
Do NOT sell your house. It would be a very bad idea to leave a position of security for one of uncertainty. Especially when you know it will be even easier for him ... (read in full...)
Am I in the wrong for worrying about my friend? Or is he misinterpreting it as controlling?
Q. O.K simple question. My friend and I were asking each other random questions about each other. It was mostly about favourite things and stuff, then it was three things you dislike about the other one. He said he only has one thing about me that he ...
A. 16 March 2012: It's not so much controlling as it is nagging. He already knows, like everyone else, that smoking and drinking are not the healthiest of activities so it really is unnecessary and repetitive of you to point it out to him.
Your disappro... (read in full...)
Is this cheating? should I say anything to her or let it go?
Q. I NEED SO MUCH HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!A couple weeks ago my GF and I broke up. We broke up for the weekend. She thought/thinks I am not the type to go hook up with other girls. Just because of my past and just who I am.. Well dating her I changed....
A. 13 March 2012: You didn't cheat. The ink may still have been wet but you were indeed single, especially if the break up lasted 5 months (though I first thought this all happened over a weekend from what you wrote). I don't see the value in volunteering tha... (read in full...)
My husband just up and left and told me to keep my rings and don't date. HUH?
Q. ive been with my husband off and on for 5yrs 8months married and he left last week while i was at work and only took a few outfits. yes we argued but that is normal especially when i was the only one working and trying to pay for everything and take ...
A. 13 March 2012: You don't have to rush out and get divorced. Many people remain officially 'separated' for years. Not the ideal perhaps, but it happens for various reasons. If you've been on and off for the past few years I think it's time to finally call it ... (read in full...)
Why cant my husband forgive me for lying about fiancial matters? I have been a devoted wife in every other way!
Q. I lied to my husband of 7 years about bills I was paying for my adult/college daugther (her car payment and cell phone)who is 1000 miles away from home,and credit cards I had that I paid for my husband found out and now it has turned into all out ...
A. 13 March 2012: The money was not your husband's so in my opinion you did nothing wrong. You used funds on the children that were already earmarked for them. If I were you I'd speak to an attorney and plan your exit strategy. You may not have to use it and thing... (read in full...)
Why cant my husband forgive me for lying about fiancial matters? I have been a devoted wife in every other way!
Q. I lied to my husband of 7 years about bills I was paying for my adult/college daugther (her car payment and cell phone)who is 1000 miles away from home,and credit cards I had that I paid for my husband found out and now it has turned into all out ...
A. 13 March 2012: What kind of money are we talking about? A couple of hundred here and there or in the tens of thousands? Did you two have plans for that money before you spent it? Is he on the verge of losing his job or retiring or something? Have you had serious ... (read in full...)
Should I break up with my boyfriend so he can experience the life he wants?
Q. I am 27 and my boyfriend is 22. We've been together a year and a half. Recently we have been arguing because he's starting to feel like he's been missing out on his youth. I've had more partners than him and got to party and enjoy my 20s and he says ...
A. 13 March 2012: As a matter of fact I have been in his shoes. I've been with partners a little older and much more experienced than I and had to sit and listen to them regale me with stories of their wild and adventurous youths (sexual and non sexual), knowing that ... (read in full...)
Do women just naturally need or want less from their marriages as they get older?
Q. Do women in their mid-40's just naturally start reverting back to who they were before marriage? My wife and I have been togethernfor many years. It was always me and her, the two of us together, no matter what. However, now that our kids are a l...
A. 13 March 2012: It isn't women who have a deep connection with and reliance on their husbands. It's the other way round. We can create connections and intimacy anywhere so we don't need to rely on a husband for that. You may have made some sacrifices along... (read in full...)
He will not marry me until I am submissive. What should I do?
Q. After a long four hours discussion with my man yesterday, I found out the reason he is having fear in proposing to me is because he feels I am somewhat of a dictator in a relationship. He feels like I like to be the man in the relationship. And he ...
A. 13 March 2012: If you have to legislate and enforce his conduct with other women then you're already with someone with cheating tendancies. You're creating a lot of work for yourself and sowing the seeds of rebellion in others.
Establishing limits and boundari... (read in full...)
Should I break up with my boyfriend so he can experience the life he wants?
Q. I am 27 and my boyfriend is 22. We've been together a year and a half. Recently we have been arguing because he's starting to feel like he's been missing out on his youth. I've had more partners than him and got to party and enjoy my 20s and he says ...
A. 13 March 2012: Sadly, yes, I do think you should let him go.
Your boyfriend may be fond of you but he's revealed a glaring incompatibility. He values short term gratification over long term happiness. Hook ups with strangers are as important to him as time spe... (read in full...)
Health, family issues are putting a strain on our relationship
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for a year. We were good friends for several years prior to this however. We are both in out 20s with promising careers. Recently things haven't been so good in my life, after being unwell and fainting several times i ...
A. 13 March 2012: The anemia is easily cured with iron pills and perhaps a few changes to your diet. I am prone to anemia as well and take ferrous gluconate.
What do you normally do when you get home from work? If you reserve specific nights of the week for laun... (read in full...)
Girls Texting My BF Is Pissing Me Off....... HELP!!!!
Q. How do I tell my bf that I do not want a specific girl (maybe 2 now) to text him the way that they do. No I do not know what is said during the conversations because I do not look at his phone. I do know that the main one in particular has deeper ...
A. 13 March 2012: You have valid reason to be concerned, especially if one of the girls has feelings for him (and I suspect both of them do). He may not reciprocate those feelings now, but affairs usually start as 'friendships'. At the very least he enjoys the ... (read in full...)
He will not marry me until I am submissive. What should I do?
Q. After a long four hours discussion with my man yesterday, I found out the reason he is having fear in proposing to me is because he feels I am somewhat of a dictator in a relationship. He feels like I like to be the man in the relationship. And he ...
A. 12 March 2012: Did he actually say he wants you to be submissive or is that your interpretation? Submitting to a man is a bad idea. Too many women throughout the ages have tried that only to end up overworked, unsatusfied, exhausted and resentful.
He does hav... (read in full...)
I regret the awful texts I sent to this guy I like, while I was drunk. Do I have any chance of working things out with him?
Q. I did an awful thing last night. I got drunk, I'm sorry HAMMERED and decided to text mean things to a boy that I really like. We met last weekend and we've been communicating via text message and were planning on seeing each other soon. ...
A. 12 March 2012: I know this isn't what you want to hear but if this guy has any self respect, any standards at all, then you've blown your chance with him. You're best to just apologise and leave him alone. Consider it a lesson learned.
... (read in full...)
He wants a FWB relationship and I don't think I can do that
Q. Hi, I have just come out of a relationship and my man told me he wanted to be friends as he just isn't in the right head space for a relationship. He then said he wanted to get to know me more sexually. I asked if that meant friends with benefits, ...
A. 12 March 2012: Butterfly, I haven't read all of the responses but enough of them to see that most of us understand you've already declined him and have no intention of being used. It is wise choices like that and time that heal.
Just give it time is all. ... (read in full...)
Am I over reacting? He's chatting to other women and telling them he loves them!
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 8 1/2 yrs and I recently discovered he is chatting with women from the Phillippines via webcam again. This is something we got into several arguments about 4 years ago (and he promised to stop) and now I've discovered ...
A. 11 March 2012: Over reacting? I'd say you were under reacting. I'm not recommending an explosive confrontation, but that you pack your bags and be on your way. Whether his agenda is to use these women as masturbation fodder or to seek out a foreign wife, th... (read in full...)
I want to leave my girlfriend because she is not a virgin, advice?
Q. Me and my girlfriend have been dating for a year now and we both love eachother. When I met her she was in a relationship and we started off as friends and she ended up leaving her ex boyfriend for me, She's never done anything bad, she's faithful, ...
A. 11 March 2012: I'm not going to suggest you learn to overcome it, because you probably never will. You've already decided your girlfriend is defined not by what is between her ears, but by who might have been between her legs and that only you are entitled to ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my LDR boyfriend that I don't like what he gets me? He doesn't know what I like
Q. im in a ldr. we always communinicate and have ups and down but this valentines day he send flowers and cake, but he forget my bday, and he didnt give me pressies. which is ok.but it really upset me.. and this next month, his comming over but i ...
A. 11 March 2012: '...which is ok.but it really upset me' Which one is it?
It's not up to your boyfriend to ask what you want. It's up to you to state it. If you're as unclear with him as you are here it's hardly a wonder you're dissatisfied.
Straight forw... (read in full...)
He wants a FWB relationship and I don't think I can do that
Q. Hi, I have just come out of a relationship and my man told me he wanted to be friends as he just isn't in the right head space for a relationship. He then said he wanted to get to know me more sexually. I asked if that meant friends with benefits, ...
A. 11 March 2012: You're single and he's made it clear he doesn't want a relationship. Just the benefits. That's where you stand.
It doesn't mean you've done anything wrong, so please don't jump to that conclusion. It just means he wants to be free to do his own ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong for me to ask boyfriend what he was doing when he asks if he can call me back?
Q. This is a small thing, but it's driving me crazy and I need some outside perspective. I am in an LDR and we talk on the phone every night before bed usually for about a half hour to an hour, sometimes longer. We both sometimes have to hang up for ...
A. 9 March 2012: You're 'boyfriend' is right. Asking what he was doing is a bit nosy. It's also in very poor taste to announce to someone that you're going to or have just been to the washroom. Too much information.
The others are right. Don't ask for an explanat... (read in full...)
Why do men go in their caves?
Q. I am hoping some other people understand what I am going through as it seems to be a common problem for me and also some of my friends... I had a tiff with my boyfriend on Mondaynight, over something ridiculous....he woke me up when I was aslee...
A. 8 March 2012: Trying to resolve it is really just forcing the issue, like picking at a scab instead of letting it heal naturally.
The best and only thing for you to do is go about your business, keep busy, keep your chin up, leave it alone and let time sor... (read in full...)
Jealousy and insecurity... how to deal with the sexual past of my girlfriend?
Q. I've been in a relationship with this girl for a little more than 4 months. Although we have some differences, the feelings we are growing for each other seem to be very strong. I'm aware that 4 months is not that much time but we spend a lot of ...
A. 8 March 2012: Seeking detailed information and trying to look at photos of her sexual exploits is a very, very bad idea.
You're jealous because you feel excluded from something and the fact that she won't relive those events for you excludes you even more. Na... (read in full...)
Is he testing the sexual boundaries?
Q. I started seeing this guy about 3 weeks ago. I have seen him 3 times. I'm confused though as Ive had bad judgement when it comes to guys before. Im not sure if my gut is telling the truth or I am just relating back to previous heartache. The first ...
A. 7 March 2012: What exactly are your sexual boundaries?
If you haven't made them clear to him, he can hardly be suspected of testing them.
I usually recommend you only become sexual once you have establieshed something solid and exclusive. Right now you've... (read in full...)
I kept pictures of my ex that still turn me on! Should I tell my husband?
Q. I know what I did was wrong, but don't know what to do now. I have some pictures of an ex-boyfriend. Some of them are not very appropriate, like he's naked in some, and even a close-up of his 'thing'. My husband knows about the pictures, and as...
A. 7 March 2012: Since more harm than good will come from telling your husband I agree with the others in recommending you keep this to yourself. That and destroy any trace of the pictures.
... (read in full...)
I don't know if I can believe him after I heard he'd made a bet that he could make me fall in love with him in 6 months!
Q. i became friends wih a guy on phone who was one of my friend's acquaintance. he told me that he's commited but i dont know how but i started liking him. he's flirty and often says i love you to me and i always took it as a friend. later he told me ...
A. 7 March 2012: You gave him a chance and look what he did with it. No need to give him another. Bet or no bet, he has a girlfriend, yet he's been flirty with you. That alone says a lot.
Write him off and forget about him. If he's that sorry, he'll treat his girl... (read in full...)
My wife has moved out and made a list of demands, what do I do? There's a child involved!
Q. Dont know what to do. I married this girl 4 years back. I had kept myself virgin. I had a dream of being one woman man. So I got married to this girl four years back in traditional marriage. My family selected this girl and when I met her I told her ...
A. 7 March 2012: Reconcile with your family and speak to an attorney who specializes in family law. You have more rights than you think and she cannot use your child as leverage.... (read in full...)
I slept with a married man thinking he was single and now he won't explain himself!
Q. I slept with a married man he acted single but now I fell for him a he is ignoring me he doesn't email, text or anything not even to apologize to me. How do I get closure? I feel so low and guilty about this plus I like him all @ the same time. I ...
A. 6 March 2012: He hasn't any answers to give you. None worth hearing anyway.
It isn't closure you need, it's acceptance and that is something you come to on your own. In that way you have full power and control and you're not at his or anyone else's mercy.
... (read in full...)
Depressed if boyfriend moves on, but he isn't seeing both sides so what do I do?
Q. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place and desperately need help. I've been with my boyfriend for well over 2 years and the last 6 months, things have been very rough. To sum up, there are major trust issues with him emotionally cheating and also ...
A. 6 March 2012: What difference does it make why you pulled back if you're bills are piling up around your ears? Are you expecting him to carry the load himself? Are the bank and utility companies supposed to just wait while you sort yourself out?
You'd expect y... (read in full...)
B/f treats me like I'm his property, not his girlfriend
Q. Dear cupid, I have been seeing my bf for about a year and a half now and things have been changing. In school he always downgrades me infront of hits mates like grabs my butt.. I find it very uncomfy. In school he always acts like I am his property...
A. 5 March 2012: I agree that his overbearing behaviour is, in part, motivated by fear, but it is also driven by narcissism and laziness.
Successful relationships require some work and sacrifice. He's only interested in the rewards and knows that isn't good eno... (read in full...)
My flatemate is very biased towards a certain religion. I don't know how to feel about him now
Q. Dear Cupid, My friend (also my flatmate) was recently talking about how much he hates a certain religion and everything they stand for. I turned round and told him that one of my friends is of the same religion and he was quite shocked. I told ...
A. 3 March 2012: It's very easy to make blanket statements about people one doesn't know so chances are your flatmate will be more cordial with him when he actually meets him face to face. He did say as much. He may have his opinions but his manner of expressing ... (read in full...)
He has issues with my past and we are apart, but I want him back!
Q. My ex and i have been having a rough situation. We was together for five months. We broke up n then get back together. We had an amazin relationship. But he has anger inside because of my past. I really do love him even though we bearly broke up ...
A. 29 February 2012: Besides telling us how much you love him and how much you think he still loves you you haven't given us much information to go on. How did you drive him away exactly? By having a past or was there something else?
Do I think you should chase hi... (read in full...)
He's more into me than I am into him
Q. hey... so... i met this guy about a month ago, and he's super sweet... the kind of guy that would make any teenage girl feel like the luckiest girl in the world! he's sweet, sensitive, he brought me flowers on our third date, introduced me to...
A. 29 February 2012: You're not interested in him because of HIM, not because of any prior bad experiences. In fact having been hurt so recently makes you vulnerable to being swept off your feet, as you put it, because anythng might seem better than what you had. So if ... (read in full...)
Have I given her the message that I'm only looking for something casual?
Q. Hey guys, could do with some advice here. Main question - do you think if you sleep with a girl on 2nd date that means you give the impression you're not that interested in a relationship/serious thing, but moreso a casual thing? I met this gir...
A. 29 February 2012: It might not bother some, but if it were me I would think you didn't really care enough about me to take the time to get to know me. It would lead me to believe you are easily manipulated (no challenge for me and likely to stray) so I would be bored ... (read in full...)
I can't afford the surgery but I don't want to wait!
Q. I have a complicated situation. When I was 18, my kidneys failed. I lost 36 pounds, and went from a C-cup breast size to a small B/A cup. It has been 5 years since the incident, and I haven't gained any weight regardless of my many attempts to do ...
A. 29 February 2012: It's ironic that you want fake boobs to feel like a real woman.
There are more satisfying goals to strive for before settling down to have children. Things like travelling, seeing the world, enjoying your freedom, buying a house, saving money an... (read in full...)
What should I do if he doesn't respond to my messages?
Q. My boyfriend sent me a text message this morning saying that he loves me, and a couple of hours later, he called me, but i missed the call. He didnt leave a voicemail message. I couldn't get back to him until a few hours later. I tried to call him ...
A. 29 February 2012: Unless there is more going on than you've told us about I think you are fretting for nothing. You've sent him a text. You could send him a facebook message, but that's it. If he doesn't get back to you about this outting, there will be others. ... (read in full...)
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