Girlfriend did not tell she married for convenience!
Q. Hallo, i have been seeing my girlfriend for 1 year now. We met on an Internet dating website. I am in my mid thirties and she is in her early twenties, so there's a bit of age difference between us. I must say i am a person who does not find it easy ...
A. 8 January 2011: Well as for her visting the dating website for 4 to 5 months you should have mentioned to her at the start that you felt uncomfortable with it if she was really interested in you and wanted to be commited she would have came of the dating sight for ... (read in full...)
Did I hurt her ? Will she get nasty ?
Q. i met a girl at college and she seemed to be giving me signals of interest. Anyway, her friend gave me her number and when we began texting she began the flirting and texting until almost 2am on college night (something i wouldn’t expect friends to ...
A. 8 January 2011: Ok well it does sound to me like she does like you but that she is just really shy. Also when you mentioned the other girls name she obvious took that as a hint that you werent interested in her therefore she got defensive and told you she didnt ... (read in full...)
How do we guard against an ex scorned?
Q. Hi ya aunties and uncles----I'm at a cross roads. Over 20 years ago, I married my childhood sweetheart, and together we have children, one of whom is now in Heaven. For years I have been miserable in the marriage but stayed for the sake...
A. 8 January 2011: Am guessing if it is prohibited to date this woman with in the work place then there is not a lot you can do, but it sounds to me like it would be unfair dissmissal as there should be no reason for you not to be able to date who ever you like. In ... (read in full...)
I thought I was moving on until I saw the pictures of him
Q. Update and a new question(s): If you've read my last 2 pleas for help and advice, then you already know I'm recently out of a 3 year relationship. Since he told me about his cheating in November, I've gone through an emotional roller coaster t...
A. 8 January 2011: hi well first off he is the one that cheated on you therefore he should be more than willing to answer all of the questions that you have for him. You are on the right track you both need to be open and honest and talk about everything in the past ... (read in full...)
Should I tell him that I have feelings for him?
Q. Okay so me and my best friend of 3 years messed around and i feel like my feelings for him have sky rocketed but he still acts the same like if nothing changed for him! He'll be like hey bestie and its just weird for me now, I don't regret messing ...
A. 5 January 2011: Well if he is your best mate like you say he is then you should be able to tell him, i know you are probably scared of being rejected and it being awkward but honestly is always the best policy.
Just tell him you want to talk to him and explain ... (read in full...)
Problems with my penis (foreskin).
Q. im nearing the age of 18, and i think i have a problem with my penis. my penis is attached to the foreskin but only along the frenulum(not sure if thats the name, along the urethral opening) which i believe restricts the movement of my foreskin, as ...
A. 5 January 2011: Are you still a virgin, if you are then yes it might just take time. Just take a good look and make sure that there is no swelling or pain if there is then your only option is to go to a doctor. I know that it is embarressing but believe me if you ... (read in full...)
Could he possibly like me?
Q. Ok, so my school Glee club has a performance a couple of weeks ago and I never really noticed one of the guys until that night. So as a half way point, we stopped and ate. Never thinking that I would sit beside him but we did and had small talk, ...
A. 5 January 2011: Well how do you mean he is a player? have you saw this behaviour for yourself or are you just listening to other people talk. I think you should give him a chance and get to know him, there is no harm in it, but just try and stick to looking at him ... (read in full...)
Is four hours too much?
Q. Last week I and my girl friend make love for four hours is it too much or is it alright....
A. 5 January 2011: Its not to much if you are both comfortable with it. Just make sure that she doesnt get uncomfortable. Dont be afraid to ask her now and then if she is ok as four hours is a long time she may get a bit sore. In saying that she should be glad she ... (read in full...)
I need advice on flirting!
Q. Um, soo I'm 13 and a total romantic. I love love! But being 13 and single? Doesn't feel that great.. -So I'm terrible at flirting with guys, like I start freaking out and "go all out" like raising my voice and stuff and wayy too embarrassed to e...
A. 5 January 2011: Just be yourself dont force yourself to be someone that you arent. Its natural at your age to be shy when it somes to guys you just need to grow your confidence and for some people this might take years we are all different.
Just take it in baby ... (read in full...)
Do I tell my current partner about my past?
Q. im currently in a 'happy relationship' but recently my ex keeps coming in to my trail of thoughts.... but my main question is that do i tell my current about my past,since he doesnt know nothing about it, or do i not? iv had 2 miscarriages one t...
A. 5 January 2011: Well if it is eating you up inside and you feel like you need to talk to someone about it then yes you are best talking to your current boyfriend about it. But if you feel like you can brush it under the carpet then dont tell him.
It really j... (read in full...)
I want to talk to him but he's always with his friends
Q. There is this guy at school that I've liked for awhile now, everytime we cross paths (no classes together right now) we smiles and says "Hi (my name!)" What should I think about this? What should I do now? I'm a senior, and I really don't want to ...
A. 5 January 2011: Well if you both dont know each other well then its hard to tell if he is interested or not in you. Its a good start that he says hello to you when he sees you but am afraid the only thing you can do is talk to him. Its the only way you will ever ... (read in full...)
How do I force him to seek help?
Q. Hello, and thanks in advance I've been with my bf for 2.5 years and its been a constant battle more so this last 1.5 I'm unable to go anywhere with gf's unless he is present, unable to have my own privacy on Facebook without him having acce...
A. 5 January 2011: It sounds to me like you have it spot on, he is being over protective for the simple fact is i think he has been cheating on you. You need to get rid of him, no matter how hard you try to change him it will never work he needs a wake up call and the ... (read in full...)
I really like my brother's friend!
Q. I really like my brothers friend who is 21 where as i'm 16 and i have liked him for a long time and i think he might like me as well but not to sure, i want to ask him out but i don't know how my brother and rest of the family would feel if we went ...
A. 5 January 2011: well if you think that way is best then it is entirely up to yourself. i would just imagine that it would be better talking to them first at least then they know that you value there opinion because you went to them first before you asked him out. ... (read in full...)
A plea for help!
Q. :/ well this is less of a question as to more of just a plee for help...... me and my gf have been going out nearly 5 months and up until now everything has been perfect no arguments nothing :/ but recently shes just completely shut herself off from ...
A. 5 January 2011: Well am afraid that nobody can force her to open up and talk to you and there is nothing you can do to make her tell you whats wrong with her. But if its really making you feel this bad then you need to tell her she needs to be honest with you or ... (read in full...)
I really like my brother's friend!
Q. I really like my brothers friend who is 21 where as i'm 16 and i have liked him for a long time and i think he might like me as well but not to sure, i want to ask him out but i don't know how my brother and rest of the family would feel if we went ...
A. 5 January 2011: I think that if you are worried about how your family or brother would react then maybe it would be best to talk to them about it first. Sit them down and tell them that you really like X and that you would like to ask him out and see how they feel. ... (read in full...)
He's distant after I caught him sexting my friend!
Q. I need help figuring things out. My boyfriend of almost 4 years has always been faithfull and full of love twards me up until two weeks ago. I just returned from a trip to my home town and decided while he was sleeping to look at his phone just ...
A. 5 January 2011: Why do you feel like you need to change. He is the one that messed up by crossing the line with your friend, ok so he may not have physically cheated but he cheated emotionally and that is wrong he should be trying his hardest here to earn your ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to be a little anxious at the beginning of a relationship?
Q. Hi, Last week my friends sister who i had asked out previously texted me a few times and eventually asked to meet up.She got a little emotional and eventually just told me that she had only turned me down because she was a little scared as she was ...
A. 5 January 2011: Your very welcome, i hope it all works out for the both of you. Goodluck.... (read in full...)
Is it ok to date two guys at the same time before being exclusive?
Q. Hi there. I've ended up in a situation where I'm dating two blokes, and have never done this before. They are both great guys, although one seems overly obsessed with sex (which we havn't had yet). It is still early days for both of them and they ...
A. 5 January 2011: Well just imagine who you want to be with long term and just a bit of advice dont take two long making up your mind because they both might get fed up and you will be left with nobody.... (read in full...)
Is it ok to date two guys at the same time before being exclusive?
Q. Hi there. I've ended up in a situation where I'm dating two blokes, and have never done this before. They are both great guys, although one seems overly obsessed with sex (which we havn't had yet). It is still early days for both of them and they ...
A. 4 January 2011: If both men are clear that it is not exclusive then you are doing nothing wrong but just make sure that both men know were they stand with you, as someone can be easily mislead and think that they are exclusive so as long as you are open and honest ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to be a little anxious at the beginning of a relationship?
Q. Hi, Last week my friends sister who i had asked out previously texted me a few times and eventually asked to meet up.She got a little emotional and eventually just told me that she had only turned me down because she was a little scared as she was ...
A. 4 January 2011: You say its a long time since you have let anyone in to your life so yes it is normal to feel a little anxious if you are feeling that you are falling for her then yes it is normal.
But as long as you accept that she still has her ex in her life... (read in full...)
My dreams are taking their toll on me!
Q. Let me start by giving you a bit of information on my current situation. My ex and i were together (on and off) for 3 and a half years. In June '10 we broke up and a day or 2 after, he got with another girl. Of course i was heartbroken, but after a ...
A. 4 January 2011: Your dream is telling you exactly how you feel, when she calls him and he goes running this is your brain telling you that you are scared that he will leave you for her if he comes back. He moved on from you very quickly and went with her and this ... (read in full...)
34 and never had a proper relationship
Q. Help!! I am 34 years old, black, professional, college educated woman, and I never had a boyfriend! I spent the last 5 years dealing with a man who took me out maybe 3 times, never calls me, barely texts me back, unless we were planning to meet at a ...
A. 4 January 2011: Well first of the five years you spent dealing with that man was a big waste of time as its obvious he was not interested in you enough to make the effort therefore forget him and go for a new start in life make this the year that you find yourself ... (read in full...)
He says I'd make a good wife. Does that mean he's thinking of our future?
Q. I been with my boyfriend for 8 mos and with in 8 mos we have been throw alot of bull.. like babyma and babyda and car jackin lost of jobs.. but we still together and happy as ever. I have said something about me getting marriend and kids we don't ...
A. 3 January 2011: Well i think that you should just take the relationship in steps, he has assured you that he loves you and that should be enough for you after 8 months. Just enjoy the relationship and try not to think so far ahead in to the future, reassure ... (read in full...)
I'm so sexually frustrated that its driving me crazy!
Q. I'm so sexually frustrated that it's driving me crazy. I'm in my mid 20's, never had a girlfriend, and never really dated anyone for that matter. I'm not waiting for marriage, but I would like to it to be with someone I have feelings for. I just ...
A. 3 January 2011: I guess that your patience are just running low. It is completely normal for a guy at your age to be sexually frustrated so dont worry there is nothing wrong about you. But you are doing the right thing by waiting until you find a girl you really ... (read in full...)
My husband turned gay!
Q. Hi I've been in a marriage 25 yrs I found out that for 15 years of the marriage he has been sleeping with men, mainly older men but told me he stopped Doing it 5 years ago but I dont know whether To belive him we are now separated but I'm having ...
A. 3 January 2011: Well the thing here is a lot of men realise that they are attracted to men but they dont want to admit it because they feel that there family and friends will think of them differently and therefore they try to hide there feelings and marry a woman ... (read in full...)
Looking for some relationship help while on a break from my girlfriend.
Q. She has always told me that she wouldnt cheating and would never leave me it sounds stupid but i after some time i started to believe her. now later down the road she tells me that 6 months ago she cheated on me with some guy she only saw 3 times ...
A. 3 January 2011: She has lied and cheated on you, therefore i feel that she doesnt love you, if she cared about you she would be begging for your forgiveness and trying to earn your trust back but it sounds to me like she just cant be bothered and that she is not to ... (read in full...)
Wondering if I should keep texting him?
Q. Ok, so theirs this guy and i met him at my friend's homecoming at her school and we go to different schools. when i first saw him i told Her"wow isnt he hot". well then he asked me to dance and ect so i got his number. ive hung out with him at the ...
A. 3 January 2011: You need to ask yourself if you are strong enough to be able to be friends with this guy and nothing more, because you already know that its not possible at the moment to date due to distance and you both being busy. But it shouldnt mean that you ... (read in full...)
What else can or should I do to help my sister?
Q. Hello everyone Well ive decided to write to you to see if i can get a few answers/pointers on how to be off any help to my little sis. You see she has been diagnosed with cancer six months ago. Shes been trough chemo and radiation and t...
A. 3 January 2011: I agree with your therapist you are being there for her and she obviously trusts you enough to open up to you which is great, you should be very happy that she has you and keep doing the great job that you are doing.
Off course it is tough on... (read in full...)
How do I let her know I still love her?
Q. I saw myself being together with this girl forever; I even thought about marriage. However, she broke up with me a few days ago... and I still love her and want her more than anything. I think she really is the perfect one for me and I am ...
A. 3 January 2011: First of you need to find out what her reasons were for breaking up with you and you need to try and resolve these issues. If she tells you that she doesnt love you anymore and that you done nothing wrong its just she cant help how she feels then am ... (read in full...)
What has gotten into my wife?
Q. Ok, Not sure what has gotten into my wife, have had a strange New Year thus far. Anyhow, leading up to the New Year she is making her resolution list and out of the blue comes up with an idea and leaves the room to write her thought down, me...
A. 3 January 2011: I think you are reading in to it to much. My guess is that your wifes resolution was to be more adventerous in bed therefore enjoy it and dont worry that she is wanting to invite someone else in to your bedroom as am sure she is just wanting to put ... (read in full...)
What should I think about his many, many pet names for me?
Q. My boyfriend rarely calls me by name...he has many, many nicknames for me. One day, he saw me with hair beyond poofy and he grins, and calls me a little llama :p Stuff like that...he only says my real name when in public...still rare. Why? I also ...
A. 3 January 2011: To me it sounds like you are worrying over nothing here, there is nothing in what you wrote that would suggest that he is not interested. To me you just described someone who sounds like a great boyfriend and you should be happy and not over analyse ... (read in full...)
Does my FWB want more with me?
Q. For the past 4 months I have had this fwb..it was never defined as such. I met him online and we started hanging out and we see each other and have sex and hang out between 1-5 times a month. He texts me everyday lately i don't know if he likes me ...
A. 3 January 2011: Well first off when a guy is with a woman only for sex he still gets possesive over her, he feels that she is his to have sex with and nobody else and therefore doesnt want her with any other men or talking to people he doesnt no. Dont be fooled in ... (read in full...)
He cheated on me, but then tells me he loves me! Is it even possible to move past this?
Q. I need some advice on how to trust my boyfriend again, and how to move on and forgive him. We have been together for a year now, and moved in together six months ago. I've always been insecure for some reason, and am guilty of going through his ...
A. 3 January 2011: My honest advice here would be to get rid of him, he doesnt love you, you are just his security blanked while he is out having fun with other woman, if he was really sorry he would earn the trust back, be kind to you, comfort you when you are ... (read in full...)
I know he is the one I want, he knows me the best, but while we were together we were horrible towards one another.
Q. Im confused about matters of the heart. First, ive been with this guy for what would be 2 yrs on the 14th. We broke up. Its been a long time coming but it still hurts to let go. We've both been horrible to each other within these 2 yrs; evrything ...
A. 3 January 2011: Well first off its not healthy having two men in your life. Therefore you need to be completely sure about who it is that you want. If it is the second guy that you want then take things slowely with him. If he doesnt contact you for a few days then ... (read in full...)
Moved in together 6 months ago, now he's distant and neglects me. Red flags?
Q. My boyfriend and I moved in together about six months ago. I got accepted to Teacher's College in a different city and asked him if he wanted to come with me. His job in our original city is very flexible and his boos told him he can come back to ...
A. 3 January 2011: Am afraid you just need to sit down with him and tell him how you feel and ask him straight out what is on his mind and why he is being so distant. My guess would be that he is unhappy with his location and that he is taking things out on you. He ... (read in full...)
How to comfort a friend when you don't have the words?
Q. A good friend of mine is going through a hard time and I want to comfort him and make him feel better, however when ever someone tells me their problem I never know what to say to them. I sort of blank out, and stay silent because I have no idea ...
A. 3 January 2011: Just be honest with him, if he tells you something just be honest and say that you dont no what to say to him as you have never been in his situation but that you can understand and that you are there for him to listen to him.
Goodluck.... (read in full...)
Unrequited love, what am I supposed to do now?
Q. I 'met' a year in my school a few months ago, though she'd always been there, it's only since a few months that i 'noticed' her. When i started hanging around with her, I asked myself 'do i like her as a friend or am i atracted to her?' many times. ...
A. 3 January 2011: I think you just need to give her some space and just be a friend to her i know that it is very hard on you but if she changed her mind once she might do it again, but dont hold on to that, just accept that she does not want to be with you at the ... (read in full...)
Any good ideas on how to keep yourself occupied so you don't think about your ex?
Q. The person I fell in love with broke up with me a couple days ago and I've never gone thru such pain of missing somebody. I would love to get back with her but I know that it'll cause only more pain and stress... so how do I keep myself occupied and ...
A. 3 January 2011: The best way to get over anybody is to keep yourself busy. go out socializing more with friends, keep yourself busy with school or work. Think about things that you really like and take up new hobbies or join new clubs this is a great way of making ... (read in full...)
He's a nice guy, but there's no chemistry. Am I allowed to be picky at my age?
Q. I am 50 years old and I met a very nice man online dating. We went on two dates and he's done everything right. He is nice, has a good career and great kids. But there is no spark. It's so frustrating. He's asked me to go on a day trip this ...
A. 3 January 2011: Well no matter what age you are it doesnt mean that you should just give up and settle for anyone. But in saying that you hardly know this guy and i think you should give him a chance and see if a spark develops sometimes it takes time and effort to ... (read in full...)
Husband expects me to go down at him at all times when he wants it. If I say no he gets agressive. Should a wife treat sexual favours as a part of the job?
Q. So I have been with my husband for almost 7 years, married for about 3 and we have a 3 year old son. Our relationship has never been super wonderful but I’m still here and I am happy some times. My issue right now is sex. As a wife am I suppose...
A. 3 January 2011: Hi no you should not be willing at all times, sex takes two people and they both need to want it also they both should be getting pleasure from it, and he should be wanting to pleasure you instead of being so selfish and demanding that you meet his ... (read in full...)
I'm married but my 1st love has come back into my life, and I don't know what to do
Q. My life has recently been turned upside down and I'm not sure what to do. I made the mistake of sending the love of my life a message on facebook that I thought was completely innocent. His profile said he was in a relationship and I was just ...
A. 3 January 2011: First off if you are in an unhappy marriage get out of it dont keep it up if you dont see a happy future in it. Also dont go and meet your old flame unless you are single because cheating in a marriage is just not fair and plain cruel. If you feel ... (read in full...)
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