A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:We had the goods and the bad in our relationship. We been on and off for 5 years. Now I'm 25 and he's 27(he has a five year old son from a previous relationship) We made a commitment 2 years ago, because we loved each other so much and decided to leave our problems behind us. We were like 2 peas in a pod, because we were a reflection of each other. We share so much similarities and had a lot of chemistry that was undeniable. We were soul mates. We moved in together and I was so loyal to him; he cooked, I clean and help take care of his son while I work full time and attend college at night. Somehow down the road, we were arguing a lot, we stopped talking about our issues because he would shut me down by saying "your annoying", stop acting like my mom etc. He became very stubborn and hard headed that we stopped confessing and resolving our issues around the house. I admit, I became emotionally dependent towards him and let him have his ways. I stopped speaking my mind, stopped talking back to him, and let him say whatever he wants. I've became numb, I've tried making things work, but it was never good enough for him. Then after July 4th weekend, I made dinner and he was very quiet around the house and distant. I went upstairs to be with him, he went downstairs, I followed him and he hinted that he didn't want me near him. I became very suspicious as most of us females follow our gut feelings!! While he was sleeping, his email was open. So I noticed he has signed up for "Facebook", and there was a message from a "female". The message said, "LoL, you are so dumb." So I hacked into his Facebook account and found out he was messaging this girl back and forth for the past week. he has messaged her saying "Can I peep? I want to remember how big your boobs were." 2AM that evening I walked into the room and flipped out asking if he was cheating. He argued of why am I snooping on his lap top. So then, I packed up my backpack and left the house. I was over at a girlfriend's house crying, figuring if this is a random girl or not. Finally he apologizes that this is a random girl and he wouldn't do that again. The following morning, my gut feeling was still there like a butterfly flying around my stomach. I decided to go back into his laptop and get that girl's info on facebook. I text him that I was going to message her and let her know what kind of pervert he was. After leaving her that message I received a text from him that he was giving me $1,000 and to get out of the house that weekend. My jaws dropped, and then I received a message to call this girl. She had told me they met at a club 3 weeks prior to this message and went on one date. She had no idea he lived with his g/f and his 5 yr old son. She was as shocked as I was! Even though they did not sleep together, he had intentions to do so, and he admitted it. I decided to pack my stuff that same day and left the house immediately. I pretty much called him and said "F**K you, F**K your money, I'm leaving today! I talked to her and she told me everything so don't play me for no fool! you tried to cheat on me and I caught you good! your not sorry for your what you did, your sorry you got caught!" Now its been 2 months, I've been hearing from friends that he's been constantly crying and realizing what he has lost. He left me messages that he was being deceitful and that he's so sorry and beg beg beg. Emailing pages of letters and calling me after I have left several threats to stop contacting me. Somehow he is not giving up. You know that saying, "You don't know what your missing till their gone" He is very miserable at this moment and called me crying his ass off at 3.30am explaining himself. As much of a independent woman as I am, Apologies are not good enough for me. Talk is cheap. A man who got caught trying to cheat is a cheater in my eyes. I am so happy to see him suffering. I guess he didn't realize that I was going to pack up my goods and leave that very day. Now that I'm seriously gone, he tells me he can’t live w/o me and willing to do whatever it takes to have him back in my life. but all I said was "All you do is talk these past 2 months, and I have not seen any action, if you want to prove to me then stop talking and act upon it. And damn well it’s going to take a pretty long time." Now I'm thinking, should I give him a chance after he has done me so wrong, after I was so faithful and loving to him? I mean he admits he was lost and this is one of the biggest regrets in his life, and that he will not able to move on w/o me. tell me what I should do. I am very strong about this, yet I still love him....but I need other peoples opinions. I received opinions from friends, but maybe the outside world? You there anyone?? Thanks for reading!
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female
reader, lotus mama808 +, writes (26 August 2008):
 It isnt about what other people think, it's about what you think. No one knows this guy like you do, and although other people are seeing his sorrows now, they didnt see him behaving like a horses ass when you were living with him. He got used to you, comfertable with you and then....bored of you. (No offense, many people get that way after being with someone for a while). Now that you are gone, he is begining to appreciate you again, but this, in no way, means he will not get bored of the relationship again. You are smarter than most to get up and move on, and at this point, you have to ask yourself what your worth is. Do you believe he is the best you can do, or do you believe you can do better? And just a side note, my partner and I have little in common, yet, find eachother irrisistable, and are always entertaining eachother. Don't be afraid to date someone a little different. I believe it keeps the excitement going longer;)
A
female
reader, Sweet-thing  +, writes (26 August 2008):
 What is your heart telling you what to do? If you feel like you should give him another chance, then you should. Yes it will be hard. No you will not trust him again for a long, long time...maybe never. But love can conquer fear and hurt. Perhaps it's time to forgive and let it go. Give him the benefit of the doubt if you truly love him. He gets one "get out of jail" card this time, but next time it'll be over for sure. Hopefully there won't be a "next time". Good luck.
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