A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I was talking to my BF and he said that he was more inclined to treat a woman with big boobs with more care, respect and spoil her than a woman with smaller boobs. Of course I have a small B cup, and I asked him why he was with me. He said that I have a great personality. When we are having sex he focuses on my butt and face etc, but ignores the boobs (this is true, he rarely touches them). So my question is to the guys, are women with big boobs more 'valuable' than the rest of us? I am thinking of leaving my bf because I like my body, but if all men think like this, then I would rather stay.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2012): Please leave him. He is an, ignorant, careless idiot and very unworthy of your body and love.The thing is...everyone might have personal preferences and it doesnt always hurt to share them- but if you really care about a partner you will learn to love what they have and not continue loving what they dont have. Theres an extent to the idea of being honest with your partner. I think respecting your partner's feelings and self esteem and giving them the compliments and love they need is definitely more important. Being in a relationship is being in a team. People need to 'make sacrifices' but if you really love someone it wont be a sacrifice but more like an honour to give part of yourself up to love them.I used to loved tanned guys. in a way I would say I prefer tanned guys and bigger muscles. Most of my exes are. My bf now is a naturally lighter skinned and toned guy but not very muscley. I am NOT gonna tell him i prefer tanned guys with big muscles or be as enough of a complete fool to say i would give more attention and care to a tanned guy with big muscles.What would that even do anyway? For one thing- make him insecure at his inability to tan that much or develop that much muscle easily. Make him feel shit about something he can hardly control. And also continue to send myself into a mindset of telling myself i am 'settling' for him when really id be not learning to appreciate and love him properly.Now that I love him I change my opinion and preference for him. I dont fantasize about tanned or muscly men anymore. I accept and enjoy his lighter skin that can lightly tan and love his toned body. I now think too much of a tan isnt that great to me and too much muscle looks too much!Aside from all that- if youre dating someone and not attracted to them physically- you shouldnt be dating someone!Any guy that will judge his girls body and compare and comment in such a ridulously untactful and shallow manner really should be kicked in the balls and long left in your past for a great new Man that knows how to appreciate and love you AS YOU ARE.Hope this helped!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2012): OP here: thank you all for your answers. I also asked some friends of mine, and they all said the same thing 'beauty is a package'
This is my first bf (late bloomer) so I didn't want to leave him but I am going to, because if my small breasts aren't good enough for him, then neither is the rest of me.
To one of the posters: Yes I did ask him about breasts and why he was with me, but I am glad I did. MY bf is a lot older than me, and he has an ex wife who has giant boobs so I wanted to know if big breasts were a preference and why he was with me if they were. Thats when he said what he said.
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A
male
reader, MikeEa1  +, writes (15 April 2012):
 I'm a typical male as judged by all the females I know. If I have a girlfriend I appreciate her for what she's got not for what she's not got. Once you are together you are on the same team. If he's suggesting the other teams got better tits maybe it's time to get a man with a bigger penis if you know what I mean.
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female
reader, doppleganger +, writes (15 April 2012):
Tell him "funny I agree with you...I am more inclined to treat a man with a bigger d**k with more sex."On a more serious note, although men are visual creatures and most of them have a preference - buttocks, breasts, or leg man; to say that you would care less for your girl cause she didn't meet your criteria is silly!
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (15 April 2012):
 Show him the door.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2012): My girlfriend has small breasts, and I love them just because they are hers. And I treat her with all care and kindness I am capable of. End of story.
Saying that the treatment of a woman depends on the size of her boobs is complete BS! Of course they get more attention, but attention =/= treatment.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2012): He is talking nonsense. I have large breast, I got so much bullying at school and at work from women who were jealous of me, as I was size 6 but my breast were 30E. I got raped and sexually assaulted many times. I HATED MY BOOBS.In 1998 I had a breast reduction, they grow again, and it was not fat but breast tissue, so I had another breast reduction in 2011. I am older now so less chance of men attacking me and abuse me (none of these men treated me right) I never felt blessed for having big boobs getting raped, assaulted and I also had problems buying clothes for my very small frame with large boobs.I am much happier now, I can buy clothes, I get less UNWANTED ATTENTION now. Having large does not mean better treatment from, in fact sometimes the opposite. Men love women, no matter what they are. Trust me. I read in a book called Naughty girls guide to life that men love women any size or shape, in fact it is us women who refer to our flaws to them till we mention it they are oblivious of them.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2012): Cerberus makes a good point. And hes right. My bf is almost the same way. He isnt attracted to my breasts... I am a d cup and hates my ass... I have one of those j lo bubble butts and while i have dated men that couldnt get enough my bf is not that guy. However he would never treat me poorly for it. I used to ask why he was with me if he didnt enjoy my assets. He always tells me i love you for who you are not what you are. So keep that in mind. It did hurt when he told me he wasnt attracted to my breasts and butt though.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (14 April 2012):
 Of course not.
Your bf is full of it.
Not all men value women based on breast size.
"More than a mouthful is a waste" say some.
go ahead and leave him... he's wrong.
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male
reader, N91 +, writes (14 April 2012):
 All I can say is what a prick your bf is, kick him to the curb!! How dare he say something so disrespectful to you, he sounds like an idiot.
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (14 April 2012):
 To answer your question, of course not. Your boyfriend is an idiot. Either he said it and didn't mean it, in which case he's a clueless oaf, or he said it because he meant it, in which case, he's told you how he plans to treat you. Or he's teasing you, in which case, he's completely mishandled the 'joke.'
Buh-bye, boyfriend!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2012): The other posters are 100% correct; your boyfriend is a moron. He's either a moron for genuinely being "more inclined to treat a woman with big boobs with more care, respect" - or because he just said that out of a very cruel and strange sense of humour.
Either way, you deserve better.
Plus, not only do lots of men prefer smaller breasts, most of us don't *really* care about breast size as much as the media tries to make out that we do.
Good luck!
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male
reader, zedd +, writes (14 April 2012):
Well I don't think this is such a big issue, I mean, this is life.
Let's be honest, big boobs attract many men. And guys are more liely to be kind to those girls who want something from them.
I mean, I am not an athletic guy, I know I don't have a great body and my girlfriends also told me honestly that it is true, I am not the kind of guy who attracts girls with his body, but with being funny and smart etc.
And there was nothing wrong about this, even though I knew that they found athletic guys and six packs sexy. But still, it was me who they wanted to be with and not those guys and that's what matters, really.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2012): OP one simple fact you must remember throughout your life. Beauty is not gauged by breast size, colour hair, height, none of those things. Beauty is the overall package of a woman, her face, eyes, body, brains, everything.
Cindycares makes a good point there OP.
Think of celebrity culture for a minute, I challenge you to find any big boobed woman who would be considered more valuable, admirable or desirable than Miley Cyrus, Emma Watson, Hayden Panetierre, Jessica Alba, Kate Moss, Sienna Miller, Kate Hudson, Natalie Portman, Keira Knightly, Taylor Swift, the Olsen Twins, Mila Kunis, Taylor Momsen, Shakira, Rihanna, the list goes on.
OP if you ever worry about your breast size just remember these women all have a similar breast size and are arguably far more desirable and successful than any big breasted woman.
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female
reader, Ciar  + ♥, writes (14 April 2012):
 First off, did you ask your boyfriend for this information or did he volunteer it? This doesn't sound like something he would have said out of the blue.
Based on how many other women have asked their partners for honest opinions, gotten them and regretted it later I'm guessing you did the same.
Just because he has a certain ideal does not mean he thinks any less of you. I too have an ideal, but few of my partners over the years have actually resembled it, and that didn't take away from my feelings for them or my attraction to them.
Your great personality isn't the only thing that attracted your boyfriend to you. You could have been the smartest, warmest, most fun woman to be with but if you had the face like the back end of a horse he'd have moved on.
Your breast size is normal. You're neither too small nor too large. And according to your boyfriend you have a nice face and a good figure AND a great personality. Besides, your boyfriend is not THE decider of what is and isn't attractive. It doesn't sound as though he worries overmuch whether he is well endowed enough for you. So don't you worry what he thinks.
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reader, CindyCares  +, writes (14 April 2012):
 Funny , I am a woman with big breasts and I have,in a sense, the opposite perception , about " care and respect ".
When I was your age ( and much older too;luckily, even if time does take a toll, some of us escape the grim predictions of Cerberus about unsightly
,floppy belly warmers, LOL ) my chest was, honestly, a sight to behold. I did get a lot of attention and compliments from that, but I can't say it got me better treatment from men. In fact, I had the impression that some of them assumed that, JUST because I had big breasts, I authomatically had to be more adventurous and chevalier about sexual matters ,i.e. slutty. Or worse, that I could not also have a big brain ,on top of a big chest. They were astonished to find out I had a keen interest for, say , philosophy ; they thought I was faking it. A little like the "dumb blonde " stereotype , you know ?
I don't know , maybe it was just my paranoia, but I feel that, if any, big breasts might be a handicap if you want to be taken seriously and appreciated as a person.
In conclusion, I think your bf is just sharing his very personal views and attitude, not a general one. In fact, I don't even believe he THINKS what he is saying, at least I hope, otherwise he would take the expression ". dumb prick " to a whole new level. While, hopefully, he is just being a dumb prick... within the limits of what, alas, is sort of inevitable for his young age .
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female
reader, person12345 +, writes (14 April 2012):
 Your boyfriend is a total jerk. Like Cerberus said, he feels like since you don't have large breasts, he is allowed to treat you like dirt and insult you. I think he must assume that because he prefers large breasts, that must mean all men prefer large breasts and you must be grateful for simply the presence of his company.
Newsflash to your bf, most guys just like all boobs. Your bf is an ass and you do deserve better. Not all guys like larger breasts more. I fluctuate between a B and a C and my partner loves my body and my breasts no matter what size they are. He doesn't prefer it when they get bigger, he just loves them, period.
You don't want to be with a guy who makes you feel like crap about your body. Get out before he robs you of your self-esteem and find someone who appreciates a woman who likes her body.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (14 April 2012):
 Di you tell him that you are inclined to treat a man with an IQ above 80 with more respect, then some dumbass like your BF?
No, honey big boobs doesn't mean = more valuable.
I'm sorry, but I would dump him. He doesn't seem to do what a good BF does, and that is making you feel like you are the most wonderful girl in the world.
He is making YOU feel insecure about your body, that is a typical sing of a controlling insecure guy. I'm betting he would suggest you get implants JUST to please him, down the line.
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female
reader, dmartin89 +, writes (14 April 2012):
 That says a lot more about your boyfriend than male society as a whole. My boyfriend shows all women with kindness and respect - nomatter if they have large breats, small breats, are very attractive or are very "ugly". You boyfriend sounds like an ass.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2012): Wow, you're boyfriend is an ignorant piece of shit isn't he? Not only does he not care about criticizing you and making you feel bad, he's basically told you he's "settling" for you because you have a nice personality but is disappointed with your breasts and then he uses a fucked up excuse that somehow that's just the way guys are. He's full of shit and he should be dumped, right now, you deserve better than a guy who thinks he's being charitable and doing you a favour by getting his pussy but not actually being that into you based on your breast size.
For your information OP, big tits are more noticeable with clothes on but most of the time you take that bra off and you find veiny, stretch marked things that flop down to the belly button (nothing wrong with that, boobs are boobs and all are hot), but that doesn't make them more desirable. I'm a small boobs guy, I like their shape, size, they're more pert than big boobs, they look just as good outside the bra is in the bra (no nasty surprizes). They're more fun to play with, they're more easily held, licked etc. My girlfriend is a B cup and her boobs are perfectly symmetrical, pert and have a lovely shape. OP with years of experience I can tell you there is nothing more desirable about a woman with big boobs. Sure there is a lot of media pressure for women to have them and men to want them but only idiots bow to that kind of bullshit. 90% of us guys love boobs of all shapes and sizes. Even the majority of guys who 'prefer' big boobs love small one too. There are very few idiots like your boyfriend out there because honestly boobs are boobs and we just love boobs.
Your soon to be ex boyfriend is a complete and utter idiot, if he is so shallow and stupid as to put you down like that for not having his preference of boobs then it's time you found a guy who appreciates all of you. Ditch this weasel, there are so many guys out there that would love to be in his position and would appreciate being there. Time to stop wasting your time with this fool.
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female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (14 April 2012):
 A woman with big boobs and brains would not want your boyfriend. A man with brains is more valuable than a simpleton. I don't have big boobs but have men telling me they are perfect size. If you are a B at your age, you will be a C 10 years later so you shouldn't worry much.
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male
reader, dougbcoll +, writes (14 April 2012):
 to me a woman is more than just her boobs. personally i like Bs through Ds. but i look at the total package. a woman is made of more than just boobs,its her smile, who she is on the inside, her character , her personality,her body, her hair, her feminine ways, her gentile touch, the look that she gives to me,ect ect.... so to me a woman is made of more than just boobs. i like the whole package.
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male
reader, Replacement +, writes (14 April 2012):
 Of course not. Your boyfriend is being ridiculous and sounds like a bit of a simpleton.
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