A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've noticed a lot of women love men who are experienced. A lot of them say it's a turn on and a preference. So I have to ask; where does that leave guys with none or limited? You can't gain experience when you're not being given a chance. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2023): Late 60s my girlfriend and I were 18 and each other's first sex. After the shocking newness of sex wore off we realized how inexperienced we were. More than once I inadvertently tried anal. "Wrong place, buddy." She tried fellatio by blowing on it. We went to an adult theater. Then reenacted what we saw.
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  + ♥, writes (18 November 2023):
 In my experience, "experienced men" are grossly over-rated. Many think one size fits all and that, because a previous partner liked something, the next one(s) will as well. Everyone, whether male or female, has individual likes and needs and, regardless of how much experience you have, you have to effectively "start from scratch" with a new partner, getting to know their likes/dislikes, etc. Admittedly, previous experience may help a lot but it is not the only factor which is involved.
The most important thing is that you talk to your partner and listen to what they want. Sometimes this will not be verbal. It may come in the form of obvious physical signs that they are enjoying what you are doing (moaning or pushing against you). It is equally important to notice what they pull away from and note that this is something they are not enjoying. This is not a reflection on you but on what they personally like/need.
Never be afraid to admit you have little experience and to ask for guidance. Get to know someone well before taking the relationship to a sexual level. That way you will feel more comfortable talking and will, hopefully, have discussed a lot before you actually find yourself in the situation. Also, having built up a good foundation for your relationship, sex will just be the cherry on top of the cake and your partner should be ready, willing and able to communicate with you to make it good for both of you.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (17 November 2023):
 I think you are generalizing.
I think women WANT someone who is willing to "give" and much as they "take".
There is absolutely NO guarantee that a guy with "experience" is a better lover than some guy who takes the time to find out what their partner enjoys and prefers.
Maybe look for a woman who has as "little" experience as yourself? So, you two can LEARN together. It's not rocket science!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2023): You can learn in general about women's body bin advance. And then when an opportunity presents itself, just have an open mind and listen to your partner.
Try to recognize women who expect you to read their minds. As men of that type, they can never be satisfied in or outside the sack.
Let your partner know that you have no expectations concerning her orgasm (yes some women pretend to have one not to hurt their partners ego) and that you would like to give her pleasure and let her tell you what she likes.
Experience makes good lovers not because they learn some magic techniques that work on all women, it teaches them the opposite, that all women are different and that they need to listen.
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