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| Latest articles: Cyber-Sex - Cheating Or Not?
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2008: This has been on my mind after someone mentioned to me that she had cyber-sex with someone who wasn't her boyfriend without her boyfriend knowing about it. We've all seen or heard about someone (maybe even yourself) participating in cyber-sex, ri...
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How can you tell is a guy is not a virgin?
Q. how would you know if the guys are already not virgin?...
A. 11 April 2008: There are no tell tale signs. Unlike women, they don't bleed the first time they have sex. There really is no way to tell except to ask and hope they tell you the answer you want to hear. If it is, hope it's the truth.
Wishing you the best.
... (read in full...)
Do guys mind if when you ruffle their hair?
Q. Hi, this may sound a little random but i was just wondering... do guys mind when you ruffle their hair or run your fingers through it? i was just fantasising about doing that to a guy i like today and thought, cos i'm a girl, if someone ruffled my ...
A. 11 April 2008: I don't think it's actually a thing that men either do or don't like. Some guys love it when you play with their hair. They really really love it. Other guys, however, will freak out if you touch there hair, even only a little bit. It's more of a ... (read in full...)
My ex has been telling people we had sex, which is not true. How to react to the rumours?
Q. my ex boyfriend has been telling people we had sex. its not true. what should i do? [Moderator's note. Respondents may treat your situation as common defamation until you can provide us with complementary details. Feel free to write en détail plea...
A. 9 April 2008: It's quite simple. You ignore it. If you go around telling people that it's not true, it will only arise suspicion. The only thing you can really do is ignore it and wait for it to pass. If you spread a rumour about him, it will be immature and two ... (read in full...)
I'm decided to have sex at 12. Concerned about the pain though!...
Q. help im 12 years old and me n my boyfriend want sex i know people say your too young and wait til your older but i can't wait til im older. we both love each other so much we cant stand being a way from each other. im not scared at all but what hap...
A. 9 April 2008: As long as you are completely sure you want to do this, and you're completely ready then no one can stop you. You know there's always risks of getting pregnant, so make sure you ask to go on the pill and make sure he has a condom. You don't want to ... (read in full...)
What do dearcupid readers think about online dating?
Q. I get very nervous around girls, and thats why I prefer online dating; I was just wondering what the readers of this site think about online dating?...
A. 9 April 2008: I know that. I'm sorry if it implied I thought you would lie. I was simply agreeing with you. That's all.
Wishing you the best.
xxx... (read in full...)
What do dearcupid readers think about online dating?
Q. I get very nervous around girls, and thats why I prefer online dating; I was just wondering what the readers of this site think about online dating?...
A. 9 April 2008: You should never lie to someone, online or not. Not unless you have to, anyway.
Lying online is just as bad as lying face to face. It's a bad thing to do. There's no point in it. people who lie online are not to be trusted at all.
Wishing... (read in full...)
He's 41 I'm nearly 18, but we're two worlds apart. How can I fix this?
Q. I have a 41 year old boyfriend and i'm 17(almost 18). Is this too big of a difference?? What should I do?? It's only 23 years, but he's so much smarter than i am about the world and much more experienced. How can I fix this '2 different worlds' ...
A. 9 April 2008: No age gap is too big when you're legally an adult. I do say it's really big, but as long as you love the person and you are both adults, it doesn't matter. About the two different worlds thing... There's nothing you can really do about that except ... (read in full...)
Does my boyfriend's mate really like me or not?
Q. i have interest in this paticular guy, which is also my boyfriend's friend. well it sounded very wrong thou. somehow the things he do makes me feel as thou he has feelings for me. it is also hard for me to tell because he might not wants to show his ...
A. 9 April 2008: If you like his friend more then you'll actually have to ask him how he feels about you. Tell him to be completely honest about it. You won't tell anyone and he won't either. Tell him that. See what he says. If he admits to liking you and you like ... (read in full...)
I'm 13 he's 17, I want sex but he's still a virgin, how do I ask him when he's ready for sex?
Q. Hi i'm 13 but want to have sex. I know that sounds horrible but it's hard. The boy i'm going out with, and have been for a long time, is 17, and still a virgin. How do i ask him when he's ready for sex?...
A. 8 April 2008: He's older than you and it is highly illegal as you're only 13. Just leave it and wait a few years.
Wishing you the best.
xxx... (read in full...)
He wanted me to finger myself, and kept begging me. Is he worth my time or not?
Q. okay so thank you guys for answering my other one, and I have made up my mind about sex. I'm going to wait till I'm older!!!! The problem is he doesn't want to wait, in fact he wanted me to finger myself, and kept begging me. Is he worth my time or ...
A. 8 April 2008: He's pressuring you into doing something you don't want to do. Not worth your time. Drop him.
Wishing you the best.
xxx... (read in full...)
I'm really scared my first time will hurt!!
Q. Ok, well i'm 16 and me and my boyfriend are getting serious and we want to have sex. I'm really scared because it's my first time, and i'm just really freaking out because i'm scared it's going hurt really bad. So i've been telling him no everytime, ...
A. 8 April 2008: Some females it doesn't hurt at all. Other's it hurts a lot. No one can answer that question for you. Everyone's first time is different. It all depends on your body and your boyfriend. No one else can answer that for you.
Wishing you the best
... (read in full...)
I stood her up as I froze from nerves, now she's spitting her dummy out of the pram!
Q. hi all I hope you can help me I was meant to be meeting up with a girl the other week and it didn't end up happening in the end because I froze, I wanted to talk to her but I couldn't if that makes sense? Anyways she didn't talk to me ...
A. 8 April 2008: She probably thinks it was all a joke and you don't like her! Imagine this: A girl waiting around for hours for a guy to show up, constantly thinking "what if this was all a mistake and he hates me. A joke by his friends. I'm not pretty enough for ... (read in full...)
What is a high maintenance woman?
Q. What really describes a high maintenance woman? I have heard this a lot lately and was wondering, is it just about spending money? ...
A. 8 April 2008: A woman who wants only the best in life and is not happy until she gets it. Is always after your attention for something or another. A woman who you should avoid at all costs. Yup. She'll steal all of your money! All of it!
Wishing you the best... (read in full...)
Why do we always come back to each other?
Q. After 22 years why do myself and my ex (first love) always come back to each other? We have both been married and have children (not with each other) and in between each relationship we have always found our way in to one anothers lives. Is it meant ...
A. 8 April 2008: You guys are meant to be. Pure and simple. So I'm a hopeless romantic, so what? If you two still love each other and keep going back to each other, you're basically meant for each other. What you're going to do about that, I don't know. But it's ... (read in full...)
What do dearcupid readers think about online dating?
Q. I get very nervous around girls, and thats why I prefer online dating; I was just wondering what the readers of this site think about online dating?...
A. 8 April 2008: GO! GO! GO! Do it! It works. Seriously. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. First get to know the person well though. A webcam or microphone would help as it would prove that this person isn't lying to you, but go for it! So many of my friend's ... (read in full...)
What should I do for myself and my children. What is wrong with him?
Q. I have been married almost 3 years and been with my husband for a total of 7 1/2 years. we have two beautiful little girls and we have had our little fights but nothing major. Here in the past two months he has changed. He has started drinking more ...
A. 8 April 2008: You need to ask him straight out what's going on. I agree with the others when they said there may be another woman involved. He's not stable in this relationship and your children need stability. Think about what's best for your children. You need ... (read in full...)
I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years and he's been abusive for 2 years.
Q. We started off happy, but then he became homeless so I was there for him, I slept outside with him some nights even in his car. I didn't want to leave him alone, we stayed at my parents a lot which is when they started disliking him. For 2 years ...
A. 8 April 2008: Honey, you don't deserve this. No one deserves this. I know it must be hard, but I'd leave him and find someone else. Can you really trust this man? This man who's been hurting you physically and emotionally for two years? No one deserves that. ... (read in full...)
Is he trying to get a reaction out of me to see where we stand?
Q. ok do guys sometimes say things just to get a reaction from a girl? I am 26 and have been seeing this guy - also 26 - for 2 months. We started as friends 2 yrs ago. we have lots in common and understand trust and respect each other. We talk on the ...
A. 8 April 2008: Yeah, he was kidding. He was only joking around. Men do that a lot. It's not just a female thing at all. He was messing with you. That's all. Forget about it.
Wishing you the best.
xx... (read in full...)
Does it really make sense for my boyfriend to move closer to me?
Q. My boyfriend of 3 years wants me to move in with him. He lives 2 hours drive away. We both have our job in two different cities. He operates his own business and I am in a family business. We see each other every weekend. It's not too far of a drive ...
A. 8 April 2008: A three hour drive is quite long, and I can understand why you both want to be closer to each other. It makes sense for one of you to move closer. If your boyfriend is willing to move, I think you should let him. He can still see his family and ... (read in full...)
I'm 12 but I have not started my period yet?
Q. hi im 12 and tall for my age but i have not started my period. im worried about this because all my family say i should of started by now. is this normal?...
A. 8 April 2008: It is perfectly normal not to have started yet. Some people don't start until they are sixteen! You should feel lucky! You have no bad stomach aches, no blood that is completely impractical. Be happy that you're a late bloomer! Some of my friends ... (read in full...)
Does my boyfriend's mate really like me or not?
Q. i have interest in this paticular guy, which is also my boyfriend's friend. well it sounded very wrong thou. somehow the things he do makes me feel as thou he has feelings for me. it is also hard for me to tell because he might not wants to show his ...
A. 8 April 2008: He definitely likes you. That's obvious now. You need to ask yourself whether you like him more than your boyfriend. If you do, then are you with the right person? That's what I'd think in this situation. If you like your boyfriend more then I'd try ... (read in full...)
He teaches at a different school, so does that still make it illegal?
Q. Hey everyone, i just need a little bit of advice, so here is my problem: I am 16 and the guy i like is 27, and my friend told me that he likes me too (i met him through her). I found out that he's a teacher, and i know that it is illegal for ...
A. 5 April 2008: Forget about the age gap. That isn't what this is about. It's not illegal if he doesn't teach at your school. Go for it! And good luck.
Wishing you the best.
xx... (read in full...)
Please tell me how to flirt!
Q. I feel so clueless when it comes to flirting, because I never seem to know what to say. I can be awkward at times so there are awkward silences. But generally, can you guys just give me some pointers on how to flirt? Do what I say always have to be ...
A. 5 April 2008: Ah... Flirting. What fun. Anyway, you can play around with your hair. Run it through your fingers a lot and stroke it gently, softly. Flirting doesn't always have to be with words, but body movements too. You can also try putting your hand on his ... (read in full...)
Are virgins less likely to get pregnant the first time they do it?
Q. I'm a virgin and was wondering if i have sex without a condom for the first time what are the chances of me getting pregnant? Because my boyfriend has had sex before and wants to do it without a condom because he says condoms don't let him enjoy it, ...
A. 5 April 2008: You are just as likely to get pregnant whether it is your first time or your thirtieth time. If he REALLY will not use a condom, go with him to get tested for STDs and if he's clean then go on the pill. This should stop pregnancy. If, however, he is ... (read in full...)
Come on girls help me out on this one!
Q. Why do women do this? i've had it happen three times now and its pissing me off. You meet a woman and she agrees to go out with you. She says she wants to take it slowly, you talk get to know each other, exchange thoughts and generally get on like ...
A. 5 April 2008: It all just depends on the type of girl you are with. I have friends who have never done that before and are always completely honest with their relationships, but I also have friends who will do exactly hat you said. It's not actually a girl thing. ... (read in full...)
Should I call the girl who is cheating with my husband?
Q. i caught my husband cheating with me . he is still mailing to his ex gf. what should i do should i called her and talked or should i talked to my husband? i feel to talked to that girl and want to say that i am divorcing to my husband so now u r ...
A. 5 April 2008: Honey, if this guy cheats on you when you're married, he is so not worth it. He has broken your trust. I don't see the point in speaking to the girl. After all, what's done is done. I'm pleased you're standing up for yourself and filing for a ... (read in full...)
Sleeping with my best friend who's getting married
Q. I have a bestfriend whom i've fallen in love with 3 years ago. When I asked him what our status was, he said we are "bestfriends-with-benefits." Stupid, but i stayed on even after he said that. When he had a gf, we stopped and decided just to ...
A. 5 April 2008: He's cheating when he's engaged. He doesn't sound worth it to me. You have two options. Options are good. You can tell him no. Just put a stop to it straight away and never do it again. Don't tell the other woman. That would cause problems. Just ... (read in full...)
Dad's moving away due to switching jobs. How can I support my mum?
Q. Hi. My Dad is moving away to Wales this weekend, about 2 hours from home. The reason behind it is that he is switching jobs. He finally go out of a job he hated after 25 years, but at the cost of us only being able to see him at weekends when he...
A. 5 April 2008: I understand what you mean about ruining the marriage. My father used to go away all week and only come back Saturday afternoons to leave again Sunday afternoon. It was a hard time, but you deal with it. They are still together, my mum and my dad. ... (read in full...)
He tells me hes not cheating because the thought of me leaving him has changed him, but has it?
Q. i am at my wits end i have been with my husband for 19 years .He has always been a bit of a flirt but has taken to more than that with two people who were meant to be my friends. 6 months ago i found out he had been spending time with a friend of ...
A. 5 April 2008: Being married to a man you do not trust is a mistake. You could be out there finding someone who will not have the indecency to even think about flirting with other people and possibly cheating on you. It does sound a little like he's cheating, I'll ... (read in full...)
Love Over The Internet: Possible Or Not?
Q. Here I have two problems. I'm in love with a guy. Trouble is, we've never met. We met over the internet. We can talk about anything and everything and see each other on webcam a lot. We aren't going to meet until I'm legally an adult, which is a ...
A. 4 April 2008: Thank you all for your feedback. I've taken what you said into mind, and it has sunk in. Thank you again.
Wishing you the best.
xx... (read in full...)
She wants me to be more aggressive with my love-making!
Q. My wife says I love her , make love to her, too softly she wants me to be more aggressive. I need some examples and she says to me , figure it out . "I want to be taken not made love to". Help!...
A. 4 April 2008: Chains. Handcuffs. Walls. All come in very useful. You could always tie her to the bed or something. That could work for you. Handcuff her to it. Make it seem like you're the only one in control. That should work.
Wishing you the best.
xx... (read in full...)
After we broke up she "learned a few new things"! Having a hard time getting over the "she waited for me like a saint"! What do you think?
Q. I'm a 24yr old male who has been with a girl since the 5th grade from puppy love to high school sweethearts. This girl has always loved me ever since I can remember but I have always taken her for granted. Not because I don't care for her but ...
A. 4 April 2008: If you kept her waiting you can't blame her for being with ONE other person. She loves you. Doesn't mean she can't be with ONE guy. It's one person! She could have been with a lot more. You should be happy she decided to stay as loyal as she could. ... (read in full...)
Is it common to lose your sex drive after being with your partner awhile?
Q. i have lost my sex drive, i love my partner very much but i cant get horny with her. we have been together for 2 years. is it common to loose your sex drive when with someone a while?? ...
A. 4 April 2008: You cannot ever lose your sex drive, but it can lower considerably the longer you are with a person, as you know what's going to happen so it's no longer new and exciting. You should still find her sexually attractive, however, so if you are no ... (read in full...)
Need some interesting topics that we can talk about??
Q. uhm...i need advice AGAIN...well theres a girl that i chat with everyday!!i need sime topics interesting topics that we can talk about??i also want to talk about naughty stuff but not to naughty??help on that please!!because i dont want to give her ...
A. 4 April 2008: Naughty but not too naughty? Hm... Talk about your fantasies or something. What you'd really like to do that's a little naughty, but don't make it too detailed. That should work.
As for everything else, talk about movies, music, dreams for the ... (read in full...)
What to do when he is the other woman???? He dresses like a woman... this is a passion-killer.
Q. WHAT TO DO WHEN HE’S THE OTHER WOMAN Last year I dated nearly 20 men. Thrice married and failed I wanted to do it right this time, after all, I'm 55. I met a verile, intelligent, talented man. He's 51, a bronc rider and professional cou...
A. 4 April 2008: I understand what you mean completely. If you really do want to recapture your lust without telling him how you feel about it, then why don't you think to yourself how brave he is for doing such a thing and reminding yourself why you love him. How ... (read in full...)
My uncle is sex-pesting me, I don't want to say anything to my family, but what can I do?
Q. Hi, While I was camping a couple of years ago I slept in another camper tent. There are three double beds. My Cousin in one my other cousin in another and next to one of the beds is another one that my aunty and uncle sleep. I slept next to my...
A. 4 April 2008: There are a number of things you can do. If this makes you feel uncomfortable, tell your family. They're not going to care that it's your uncle! I'm sure they'll believe you if you really tried explaining. They're your family after all! You could ... (read in full...)
Before we got serious he was also sleeping with someone else from work and I have only recently found this out. What should I do?
Q. I have been seeing someone for over a year now and for the last 4-5 months we have become serious. I work with him and our relationship has devolped into a very loving serious one. The best I have ever had and he says it is for him too. The problem ...
A. 4 April 2008: If you do not trust this man 100% then can you really be with him? Trust is one of the most important aspects of relationships, and without it will love just crash and burn? You've already said that this has made you worry. Does this mean that you ... (read in full...)
What to do when he is the other woman???? He dresses like a woman... this is a passion-killer.
Q. WHAT TO DO WHEN HE’S THE OTHER WOMAN Last year I dated nearly 20 men. Thrice married and failed I wanted to do it right this time, after all, I'm 55. I met a verile, intelligent, talented man. He's 51, a bronc rider and professional cou...
A. 4 April 2008: If he doesn't know how you feel about it, tell him. Tell him your opinions on it. If he is a man who talks, like you say, then you should be able to come to some sort of agreement. You can tell him that he doesn't have to give it up completely but ... (read in full...)
Bottom line is I don't trust him-should I walk away or stay?
Q. id really like some advice as i have come to my last option. i have been with my boyfriend for nearly 2years. it has been very hard and emotional to stay together. in the begginning he told me he was single with no kids. after a few months he kept ...
A. 4 April 2008: Good on you! You'll find someone worth being with, and you'll never be happier.
Wishing you the best.
xx... (read in full...)
Things have changed so...should we give it another try?
Q. My ex and I are very close friends and love eachother more than anything. We are in a very confusing situation for both of us. We are not officialy together, but we do everything that a couple does. Things like we talk or see eachother everyday, ...
A. 3 April 2008: If things are working out for you guys now, why possibly ruin it? If when you were together things caused fights, and now they don't, then why would you throw that away? I agree that it would be lovely if you guys were a couple and you could do even ... (read in full...)
Is it possible for my fiance to be drunk enough to not remember having sex?
Q. My fiancee, who admits to dating and making out with a boy,(often), while wearing only her panties, and in his bed, while 300 miles away in college already engaged with the ring, says they had no sex, and she's still a virgin. My question is.....is ...
A. 3 April 2008: It's highly unlikely. I doubt it. Doesn't mean it's not possible, though. Wishing you the best. xx... (read in full...)
Bottom line is I don't trust him-should I walk away or stay?
Q. id really like some advice as i have come to my last option. i have been with my boyfriend for nearly 2years. it has been very hard and emotional to stay together. in the begginning he told me he was single with no kids. after a few months he kept ...
A. 3 April 2008: He's done this more than once, has he not? I don't think he's going to change. If you can't trust him now then you can't trust him at all. Just leave him and find someone else. He'll only end up breaking your heart again, and I doubt you will want ... (read in full...)
Does my boyfriend's mate really like me or not?
Q. i have interest in this paticular guy, which is also my boyfriend's friend. well it sounded very wrong thou. somehow the things he do makes me feel as thou he has feelings for me. it is also hard for me to tell because he might not wants to show his ...
A. 1 April 2008: It sounds like he does like you, but is just unsure what to do as he doesn't want to upset your boyfriend in some way. That's what I think. That's what it sounds like. He does like you, but doesn't want to hurt your boyfriend. And you I don't think ... (read in full...)
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