A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been seeing someone for over a year now and for the last 4-5 months we have become serious. I work with him and our relationship has devolped into a very loving serious one. The best I have ever had and he says it is for him too. The problem is before we got serious he was also sleeping with someone else from work and I have only recently found this out. At the time although we weren't serious I didn't think he was sleeping with anyone other than me. Theres many memories of things she and he ahd said to me at the time that were sneaky and cruel. They were having this relationship behind my back and i feel hurt and betrayed. I have tried to forgive him as I love him so much and our relationship is completely different now to then. The problem is I cant stop thinking of the past. I hate her. The times when she'd ask me about my relationship I feel as though she was maiking fun of me and still is. So this has resulted in me having no respect for her and not wanting to even speak to her although we were never good friends. There is also a works do being organised which is meant for just the boys and she and her friend have invited themselves on it. Its to stay over night too. They'll be alot of drinking and Im afraid of them being alone together. Although he tells me she means nothing to him. I just dont know how to get it off my mind. What should I do?
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female
reader, musics_muse  +, writes (4 April 2008):
kity cat said it best. you need to release the stress out of your life. you need to find someone deserving of your love, someone you can trust. you guys have just recently started getting serious and you already have trust issues?
perhaps you should talk to the guy about it, let him know how you feel. and if nothing happens from confronting him about your feelings then id say it's time to move on.
A
female
reader, x-kitycatlok-x +, writes (4 April 2008):
 If you do not trust this man 100% then can you really be with him? Trust is one of the most important aspects of relationships, and without it will love just crash and burn? You've already said that this has made you worry. Does this mean that you don't trust him to be completely faithful, just like he wasn't before. He tells you she means nothing but does that mean he won't try something?
If you can trust this man not to do it again, forgive and forget. If you have worries and doubts, either try and work it out or just leave him. It will be better in the long run.
Wishing you the best.
xx
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