| Latest articles: My Ordeals and Mistakes in Life will be my Strength
No replies yet... 14 December 2012: My ordeals and mistakes in life will be my strength When I was 24 years old, I thought of marriage as an escape from my father who was very strict with me. I married the man who was working with us as lead guitarist in our restaurant bar b...
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How can I relax and not sabotage this potentially wonderful relationship?
Q. Hi everyone. A quick question, I am in a relationship with a stunning gregarious woman. We're to married in August and have talked about having a child together. However, I live daily in fear that things will turn sour. I try not to look for reasons ...
A. 31 January 2012: Try to see what is most important to you with regards to your beliefs and values. There are times we feel unhappy because we tend to have complex values interpretations.
Like for example, you want to feel loved and it is what you feel most imp... (read in full...)
How can I avoid sex in a loveless marriage?
Q. Is it possible to stay married, not be love and avoid sex with husband all the time? Is there anyone here who has been in this situation? Please share your views and experience to help me. Many thanks.....
A. 2 December 2011: Hi.
I am living in a country wherein majority are Indians and I have few friends where we shared culture and family values.
Since you are in a loveless marriage and you are unhappy, I feel the best way for you to do is vent your feelings to... (read in full...)
You'll have to trust me on this. I feel I'm ugly. Can I have some reassurance and support please?
Q. So, my problem is that I'm ugly. No, I'm not one of those plain but actually pretty girls that complain about their looks. I was born with a disorder, and while I won't go into a bunch of complicated details, I look really different, and ugly...
A. 5 November 2011: Nobody is ugly and don't allow anyone to put you down. Ignore those people who laughed at you because you are better than them in the inside world. Try to think of what you want in your life, something that you can be proud of doing, something... (read in full...)
We plan to meet for the first time soon but he is very ill and I'm worried if I see him it will make it harder. What should I do?
Q. im 22 years old and been in a relationship with this 46 years old canadian guy online,there no exact words to express how happy i am to have him. I know deep inside my heart that i do love him more than anything in this world..and he also does for ...
A. 31 October 2011: If you love him, you will not leave him just because you are hurting with his health condition.
This is the moment he needs your support and above all your unselfish love. He trusted you so much and you just have to be there for him despite ... (read in full...)
I'm having trouble dealing with my retroactive jealousy
Q. I have a question that maybe some of the women readers can answer. Why would an attractive, intelligent woman -21 years old at the time-carry on an affair with a much older married man {25 years older}with children of equal age for 7 long years? He ...
A. 8 October 2011: We have our weaknesses and we sometimes want to blind ourselves of accepting the truth, of knowing what is right from wrong, an internal issue that we just do it because our emotional needs are met. This woman most likely felt from the older m... (read in full...)
My LDR went cold after I asked to get back together with him.
Q. I've tried to break up and stop communicating with my 4 yrs long distance relationship.. but lately its so hard for me to realized that were over and I tried to win him back by saying stuff like we could work things out and he said "yes,let's try ...
A. 8 October 2011: Hi there.
Don't put too much emotional pressures on him in time he will be fine.
He was hurt and picking up the pieces back again like the way you were before may take time. Give him time to communicate with his feelings and be patient.
Just... (read in full...)
Let me give you the tools to beat 'Retro jealousy' I now possess them!
Q. I write with excitement and hope that my experiences might help others that have had similar problems. You may remember a post I made back on the 15th Oct 2010 titled: Girlfriend was a prostitute and slept with over 350 men before I paid for h...
A. 8 October 2011: I am happy to hear you have overcome this feeling.
I wish you both the happiness... (read in full...)
My boyfriend told me I need to be more independent.
Q. me and my bf were talking about how wish i can be away form my parents,i had had enough with them he told me that i should make more friends because it's kinda weird if i'm with him most of time... my instinct felt weird when he said this so i a...
A. 1 October 2011: Men love an independent woman. They love to see their woman who doesn't give up their life for them, meaning you have your world and you can live your life with or without them. They love a woman who is strong and not weak. Who can make decisions ... (read in full...)
While applying for a job, did I do a wrong thing by sending out scanned copies of my passport to strangers in another country?
Q. Hi all, I have been applying for TEFL jobs abroad in China and have been sending out my C.V. along with a scan of my passport as some of them were asking for it. I am now very worried that this was a silly naive thing to do and am unsure of the sa...
A. 23 September 2011: Hello.
I don't think there is really a problem about it since it is just a scanned passport, they have only details about you but that is all there is to it.
I am working in an administrative department and I am receiving lots of CV's along wi... (read in full...)
Husband's temper out of control! Things are fine as long as they go HIS way
Q. I have a question to anyone who can help my situation. I am 38, I have 3 beautiful daughters. I am no longer married to there dad. About 2 years ago I got back with my highschool sweetheart,we were engaged in highschool, but his parents thought he ...
A. 16 September 2011: I am sorry to say but I don't think your husband respects and loves you. If he does, he will not treat you this way. Do not allow him to treat you this way just because you love him. Yes, you are his wife and you have responsibilities to take care ... (read in full...)
My married lover puts me in awkward situations where I have to meet his wife. Why would he do this?
Q. Hi, I am having an affair with a married man and have been for over 6 yrs, we are both in our late 50's,we both care for each other very much and get on really well and enjoy seeing each other. we can't break it off so please no moral judgments. i...
A. 10 September 2011: My Dad did this to my Mom as well. He had a mistress and a serious one, he introduced her as a friend and became our family friend, later we found out he was his mistress because she got pregnant. My mom got devastated. I feel he is doing this as... (read in full...)
Should I read into his answer?
Q. My bf asked me the oh so popular question "Who would you save in a burning fire?" He told me to choose one of my three siblings. I had a very hard time and kept telling him I'd either save them all or die togpther with them because I wouldn't be ...
A. 18 August 2011: Well, setting aside reactions of your bf's question, let us just put it this way, there is no right or wrong answer on this. And yes, when I was a public teacher this question was raised and part of our situational oral examination. Now his quest... (read in full...)
I think I'm more into her than she is to me and its bothering me
Q. Good Afternoon, Couple of months ago i had posted a question on this forum and i got some great advice from folks here on site. http://www.dearcupid.org/question/do-girls-like-their-space-will-she-feel.html I have a followup question on t...
A. 13 August 2011: You're welcome. I wish you the happiness and joys life brings. ... (read in full...)
Fell for him at a spiritual retreat, he's married, how can we pursue this?
Q. Hi all, I met this guy last year during a spiritual trip, and I fell for him completly. I thought he was my soulmate but then found out he was married. He seems to be in a loveless relationship. I am so willing to pursue him, and also I think th...
A. 8 August 2011: The first few months or a year if you are in love with a married man feels like you are needed, wanted and thrilled but as months pass by, you will look for more.
Easy to say, "NO, I DON'T WANT HIM TO LEAVE HIS WIFE OR FAMILY for me or NO, I WI... (read in full...)
Want to have sex with my cousin, need advice??
Q. hi my age is 18. I am male. I want to have sex with my cousin, she is also 18. Just 1 month elder than me. Plz tell me how to seduce her....
A. 7 August 2011: why would you seduce your cousin? if you are in the right mind you will not do this. Respect your family and if you want to have a casual sex, look for some other woman who will play with you but definitely not with your cousin. ... (read in full...)
Can a good man just make a mistake? Or once a cheater always a cheater?
Q. Long story short, my boyfriend of a year cheated on me with a one night stand. We got in a fight, I said really mean hurtful things I didn't mean and told him I never wanna talk to you again! Well the next night, he went out, got really drunk and ...
A. 6 August 2011: We are all human, we make mistakes.
Your BF was upset and I may say he was not on the right mind when he was with that woman. It was perhaps his way to get over you, consciously or unconsciously we make mistakes then after regret doing it.
I... (read in full...)
Half of me still wants him, but the other half tells me to let him go
Q. i broke up with my bf now because i caught him chatting with a girl and this is the 3rd time.. well our relationship in the past few years is shaky but we're trying to deal with it and he doesn't trust me at all but that's fine with me as long as i ...
A. 1 August 2011: Hello.
How can you be happy in a relationship without trust? Your bf doesn't trust you and you are still with him.
Why do you put up yourself into this kind of relationship where there is NO TRUST and definitely NO TRUST NO LOVE.
Yet, yo... (read in full...)
Baby dreams at the age of 16?
Q. Hey I'm 15 and i really want a baby I'm an honour student and I'm responsible.I have thought about this so many times before, about how am i going to work with school. My friends say that I would make a great mother because I'm caring and sweet ...
A. 1 August 2011: You are responsible at your age but not mature enough to know responsibilities as a parent or as a mother.
Since you are responsible and an honor student, why not focus yourself on how you will become successful in your studies and be successf... (read in full...)
He wanted to hold my hand and stroked my face after sex, does this mean anything?
Q. Hey :) so I've been seeing this guy for five months, but we aren't officially a couple. I slept with him for the first time a month ago, but I thought that he was just using me. But the last time I slept with him he wanted to hold my hands and he s...
A. 1 August 2011: He is showing warm gestures, his warm feelings through touch.
... (read in full...)
We've been online dating for 2 years but have never met in person once....
Q. How long is too long for a no-contact LDR? When I say no contact, I mean no physical contact. At all. We've been 'dating' online for over 2 years and through that whole time we've never met in person once. I've tried, I've made trips to see him...
A. 31 July 2011: You haven't seen him at all on cam nor pics in 2 yrs?
Stop now he is playing with you.
If he is sincere with you, he would have shown himself on cam or perhaps planned to meet you but he didn't. He gave you so many excuses.
Look for someon... (read in full...)
I think I'm more into her than she is to me and its bothering me
Q. Good Afternoon, Couple of months ago i had posted a question on this forum and i got some great advice from folks here on site. http://www.dearcupid.org/question/do-girls-like-their-space-will-she-feel.html I have a followup question on t...
A. 27 July 2011: You have a very good relationship right now with this woman, do not spoil it with your insecurities.
You need to deal first with your wife, children and process your divorce. Women, in general, don't like to be second best. If you really love her... (read in full...)
Falling for my long-distance crush.....please help!
Q. hi ! I am a 17 year old teen girl who has a crush on a 19 year old Pakistani guy . i don't know how things turned out ,it was just when he's not online in Facebook, i'm starting to miss him :( and i'm so worried because i might fall for him :( and...
A. 15 July 2011: Hello Kabayan (fellow countrymen),
I work in a country where Indians and Pakistans are majority and I do know the cultural differences between filipinos and pakistans.
I am sorry but I need to be blunt with you, stop having this fantasy wit... (read in full...)
I feel like my boyfriend is cheating on me, is it all in my head or is my instinct right?
Q. I'm jealous of this girl and just by hearing her name makes me sick the entire day... I don't have proof that my boyfriend is cheating on me with this girl but I can't stop thinking about it. He always tells me nothing between them but I can't find...
A. 15 July 2011: Hello I don't want to give you advice that would make you feel more confused but I would like to give you some helpful way to have some emotional control. Jealousy is normal, to some it is a way to know one really cares but when it becomes... (read in full...)
When you know you both like each other, but neither of you want to admit it.
Q. Hello I just want you guys to help me with my situation right now.. I been single for almost 3months now from a long distance relationship.. so now, i have this guy who is very nice, kind , loving and respectful ,and he lives on the ...
A. 6 July 2011: How much do you know him? A long distance affair is very slow development type of relationship.
Don't fall with what he tells you, some men are using what women want to hear to take advantage.
Get to know him more if your relationship is ... (read in full...)
I finally left my husband of 5 years who cheated on me many times.. but I don't know how to deal with the pain
Q. how do you survive after the cheating..? i finally left my husband for 5 years who cheated on me many times.. but i don't know how to deal with the pain ...
A. 28 June 2011: At this moment you are grieving and it is normal. What you can just do right now is think of what is best for you and have a peaceful mind for yourself. Now is the time to think about yourself and focus on what you want to do with your life. if you ... (read in full...)
What is wrong with me? Two months now. Will I ever get over my ex?
Q. What is wrong with me? when will I get better? I loved my ex boyfriend so much. He was so nice and sweet. I was so happy with him. But he broke up with me saying he doesn't want a relationship. Two months later he rang me saying he wants us to be f...
A. 25 June 2011: You know what you want to do...concentrate with work, college, family and friends. Go for it and do what you know is best for you.
If you want to direct your life to changes, you can. But you've got first to have control in your mind and your emo... (read in full...)
My wife slept with my best friend before I dated her and its on my mind day and night.
Q. It sounds silly but here it is. my wife dated my best friend before me. Its been almost 20 years and i cant get over the fact that he had sex with her.I dont understand how my mind works. my wife and i have swung with other couples when we were ...
A. 21 June 2011: Why do you allow your thoughts to emotionally ruin yourself. Past is past and don't dwell on it.
You are in control of your mind, you are in control of your life. You are thinking of these bad thoughts because you allow them and it will haunt yo... (read in full...)
Is this his polite way of breaking up or what else could he mean?
Q. I'm confused right now. my bf told me he needed space like one week.. is this breaking up with me in a polite manner or he just need a little time without me?...
A. 19 June 2011: I agree with Abella.... (read in full...)
Is this mistake enough to end the relationship?
Q. been dating with this guy for 2 months and were on MU by the 3rd month but basically he is a total stranger to me...recently we had argument regarding Trust since i dont know him that well and i texted a friend about my concern. And i sent it to him ...
A. 19 June 2011: Trust is earned and needs time to build. You were getting along well and it was a step to get to know him more and you spoiled everything.
What was your purpose why you sent message to your friend and sent the same message to him? Why not talk... (read in full...)
Is this his polite way of breaking up or what else could he mean?
Q. I'm confused right now. my bf told me he needed space like one week.. is this breaking up with me in a polite manner or he just need a little time without me?...
A. 18 June 2011: He needs space for himself to think of what he wants and think clearly. Give him the space and see what happens next.
Don't communicate with him, this will just add pressures to whatever he feels right now.
... (read in full...)
Why does my dad do this?
Q. I hate asking him for help with anything. So do my siblings. If you do ask, he turns everything around on you. He says things like "Why do I have to do EVERYTHING?" or "You'll have to wait, I'm doing everything else". "WHY am I the only person who ...
A. 17 June 2011: A father is the provider of the family and do the best he can to provide all your needs at home and education as well. But at your age, you should learn how to become independent and have an independent mind.
Let us not be selfish here as a chi... (read in full...)
I doubt whether he really loves me because of our age difference.....
Q. i dated a 50 year old man with a different religion, i am chrsitian and he is muslim..i will be 22 this july..he said that he loves me but i am doubtful about it because of the age difference and of the culture differences,,but i feel being special ...
A. 13 June 2011: First and foremost, religion itself seems to contradict. You have doubts because of your age difference but he fills your emotional needs. I don't think you are happy with him but you just need his comfort and not LOVE.
Be with someone you love... (read in full...)
Would you be so kind as to comment on my poem?
Q. I'm entering a poetry contest can peeps tell me what thy think bout this poem thanks xx to be with you is all i desire, with out you my hearts on fire, my hearts in pain ,bleeding,aching for you, only in my dreams u luv me 2 . m battling ...
A. 3 May 2011: Hello there.
Your poem is nice but it would be nicer if you put more description of your feelings following some rhythmic pattern and meter.
I would suggest, try to know the criteria of the poetry contest you will be joining. What you have wr... (read in full...)
How do we make LDR work for 6 years?
Q. Hey, I would really appreciate some advice on this one (hopefully some positive, cause I only seem to be able to find negative stuff). In September I start a six year university course, doing Veterinary medicine (so it's going to be quite allot o...
A. 2 May 2011: In a long distance relationship, you both need patience, trust, and honesty to make it work. If you truly love each other distance doesn't matter. ... (read in full...)
Do I just want to date this guy because I am lonely?
Q. I haven't been in a serious relationship for almost a year now and I'm lonely. There is a guy that is really interested in me and I'm sorta interested in him but I'm worried that I'm only considering dating him because I'm lonely and wanting to be ...
A. 29 April 2011: Take the courage to have a life again and not live in fears, it is part of moving on and growing. In life, there is pain and pleasure. All you need to have is to know how to have emotional control, how to make good decisions for yourself. I un... (read in full...)
Is it right to stay in this relationship when I am hurting myself so badly?
Q. I dont want to love him anymore. For months of our relationship i found out that he had a live in partner and they are living together,ofcourse. Three months when we're together i found out that she was fregnant but i love him so much and i can't...
A. 9 April 2011: Have the courage to get out of this relationship, he doesn't love you.
It will be very difficult to let go of a person you love so much but if you love yourself more, you need to do the right thing for yourself.
Move on... don't look back.... (read in full...)
How do you get away from a manipulator?
Q. How do you get away from a manipulator? My bf and I have been together over 2 years. Its long distance as he lives in the states. We met online and its definitely been a roller coaster from the jump. He's "cheated" on me with many other women on...
A. 8 April 2011: Like you, I had also a 5 yrs relationship online but it didn't work. I loved but he didn't love me much but strung me along till I felt enough is enough. I made a decision to stop and JUST DO IT!
Make a decision now, a firm decision and just do ... (read in full...)
Now that I live with my boyfriend, he no longer pays any attention to me! What can I do to change this?
Q. Dear Cupid, I have been with my boyfriend for 6 months. We used to be in a long-distance relationship and while I was gone, we used to talk about how happy we were and how excited we were for me to move and get our own place. Well... Now, we're li...
A. 22 January 2011: It seems like the spark has died down. Change the daily routine and make some effort to ignite his interest.
Men are not good in showing much their affection but you can break the daily routine you have at home. Like, when you reach home earlier ... (read in full...)
I'm feeling more confident, and less shy, but need ideas for starting a conversaton with others.
Q. I started studying art at my local college a few months ago. I am a very shy person and find it very hard to talk to people. Recently, I have been very confident and wanted to talk to people in my class, but I havent been able to think of something ...
A. 22 January 2011: I was once a shy type too in class and quiet but when my teacher found out I have the potentials. She helped me build my confidence and involved me in school activities where I am good at.
Try to start from things that you have some common i... (read in full...)
I do not wish to attend my mother in law's funeral if husband's "Friend" will be there
Q. Very long and involved post so thank you very much in advance for reading. I have been married for a year but for various reasons my husband and I do not live together. This is mainly because I have a house from my previous marriage that my...
A. 21 January 2011: Why not go and emotionally support your husband? He needs you and I am sure he needs your support. He is your husband and he married you and he chooses to be with you and not that ex-gf or a close friend of his family.
Forget what was from the... (read in full...)
My husband hates me
Q. My husband and I have been married for less then a year. I love my husband very much, but lately I feel as tho he hates me. It hurts so bad the way he treats me. He calls me names, threatens divorce all the time and tells me he doesn't care about us ...
A. 21 January 2011: I am a Filipino, I don't know how it is in USA in a situation like this, but as a woman I can share you my opinion.
You have tried your best to stay with your husband even he was and is disrespectful to you but don't you think it is time now to t... (read in full...)
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