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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Hey,I would really appreciate some advice on this one (hopefully some positive, cause I only seem to be able to find negative stuff).In September I start a six year university course, doing Veterinary medicine (so it's going to be quite allot of work and I'll be busy most of the time). Anyway I'll be leaving my boyfriend behind and I wanted some tips of how to make it work. We've known eachother for pretty much all our lives and have been dating for five months so far.He's doing an open university course from home so will have much more free time than me, as I'll be so much busier than him I know it'll be me that needs to make the effort much more. It'd take us about two hours on the train to meet and I'll be back for every holiday (though I don't know how frequent holidays are during university). One major issue is that his parents don't trust him, they don't think we'll make it work so I doubt they'll let him visit much and definately not to stay overnight. I should add that they really like me and think we're a good match.Any advice, tips or personal experiences will be much appreciated.
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female
reader, sweetiebabes  +, writes (2 May 2011):
 In a long distance relationship, you both need patience, trust, and honesty to make it work. If you truly love each other distance doesn't matter.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2011): Hi There,
It can definitely work if you both make the effort.
I met my boyfriend when I was 16 and he was 18. He joined the army two years later so we rarely get to see each other but 5 years on from then we are still together.
I find that the thing that makes it work for us is communication. We make sure that we talk every day on the phone even though this may not always be convenient. We end every days conversation agreeing a time to talk the next day which you have to stick to or atleast text and say I'm going to be late ringing today is that ok? and let him know when you will be able to talk.
We both have work to do and we both have friends that we go out with but you can't miss that call. If you have a night out planned and you can only talk for 10 minutes before you go you still need to give them that time. You also can't expect them to miss a night out to talk to you because you both need to live your seperate lives.
Trust is also extremely important, if you lose it then you will probably never get it back. Do not cheat on each other, if its not working or one of you meets someone else then you need to end it. You are going to meet a lot of new people at uni and your perspective on the relationship may change just make sure you give each other the respect you deserve.
I hope that helps!
xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2011): Sorry, but at your age and stage in life, even the most optimistic person would not put money on you guys lasting 6 years in an LDR. If you have a success story, we would all be thrilled for you and you could then share your secrets on how you made it work. For now, I can offer the positive suggestion that by the time it ends, you probably won't feel too sad about it.HOWEVER, who's to say circumstances won't change and maybe he'll move closer to you, etc.? 6 years holds a LOT of unknowns.All the best!
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A
female
reader, auntyR  +, writes (2 May 2011):
congrats on your course by the way! I actually am in a similar situation with my boyfriend. He is in the army so we have to try and make a long distance relationship work. It's very hard and i'm not going to lie to you about that. People who say it;s easy have never actually been through it before! The best thing you can do is just make sure you both put in the same amount of effort in. For instance we talk every day if we can, by calling,texts or online. For now it is working ok, but you do have to realise alot can change in a year or two. So just be prepared for the fact that it will either work or it might not.You may start at uni and then meet a gorgeous new guy and suddenly find yourself falling for him. If this does happen don't string your bf along, just be honest with him. Again another tip for long distance is to be honest and open with eachother about your feelings. Don't hide it away if you are unhappy with something. It will be a rollercoaster of emotions for you both, so just be prepared. It's not like the fairy tales. Like i said before it will either work or it won't, only time will tell.
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