I'm having trouble dealing with my retroactive jealousy

A male age 51-59, anonymous writes:

I have a question that maybe some of the women readers can answer. Why would an attractive, intelligent woman -21 years old at the time-carry on an affair with a much older married man {25 years older}with children of equal age for 7 long years? He had some money and he was her boss but he was not physically attractive at all- he was rather wimpy and 50 yo at the start of the affair. Was it for the money and the good times he showed her? Was it b/c she wanted a father figure that I know she clearly lacked as a child? Her father was a drunken womanizer that had a couple of families and didn't take care of any of his children If it is the father figure thing- I know this sounds immature but why would you want to have sex regularly with someone who you see in a fatherly way- I just don't get it from a man's view? Having sex with someone so much older is creepy in my mind let alone giving them oral sex regularly? How could a woman let a man have sex with his wife and her sometimes on the same day {I'm sure it happened} and not care for 7 long years? I really don't get it? This man acted on the surface like a good, caring man but in reality he was lying to her and to his wife and children everyday for such a long time? There is no other way to carry on an affair for such a long time without constantly lying to everyone involved- does this sound like a caring, loving man? What would his wife and kids say about it if they found out. Look, a brief affair is bad and possibly forgivable but a 7 year long affair shows how deep his selfishness runs especially with a woman in the prime years of her life.If he truelly loved her he would have ended it after a few months tellingher to find a good man to settle down with becasue I have an established life already and you deserve to have the same.How could someone do this and the other woman doesn't see it? Infact if he were to get caught, he would have denied he ever knew her even though he had sex with her literally hundreds of times-why would a young women do this for so long. It can't be just for the sex and the money - it was for 7 years-can it? Can the father figure thing last that long and if so why would a woman give a man so much control and power to be treated like the king for so long when she would never allow that to happen to anyone else who came after this old guy including her current husband? Why did this guy get to have his cake and eat it too for seven long years and she didn't mind? I know that I am acting like an immature loser because I am a grown man who had many gf's before marriage but I would like a female opinion on this especially from woman who didn't have a strong father figure as a child. Any answers would be appreciated. thank you

View related questions: affair, blow-job, divorce, drunk, flowers, I love you, immature, jealous, married man, money, oral sex, sex toy, sexual past, womaniser

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A male reader, Yos  +, writes (10 October 2011):

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2011):

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A female reader, sweetiebabes  +, writes (8 October 2011):

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2011):

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2011):

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2011):

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A female reader, janniepeg  +, writes (8 October 2011):

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