A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I haven't been in a serious relationship for almost a year now and I'm lonely. There is a guy that is really interested in me and I'm sorta interested in him but I'm worried that I'm only considering dating him because I'm lonely and wanting to be in a relationship again. Should I give this a go or should I avoid it because I'm already not sure about it and we have only been out on one date! Yet I want to give it a go because I can be myself around him and it would be nice to date someone again... Any advice? I don't want to get hurt again..... Or windup in a serious relationship that is hard to get out of. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2011): Thanks everyone for the awesome advice! Going on date #2 tomorrow :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2011): Get rid of all thoughts of a relationship out of your head just have some fun with this guy.
All these doubts are because you're judging him as a potential partner. What's the point in that? You're going over this guy with fine tooth comb and you are going to find things you may not like because no one is perfect. The thing is you may reject him based on those things and judge him too early without actually getting to know him at all. Instead of relaxing and just focusing on enjoying your time with him you're putting unneeded pressure on himself and you for him to be perfect, for him to fit into a certain mold you have set in your head of the kind of guy you want a serious relationship with.
Have fun and relax, let yourself get to know him and stop trying to weigh up his potential. Give yourself a chance to have some with him you never what may happen in the future but the last thing you should be worrying about is his ability to become your next boyfriend.
Of course you're not sure about it, you've set the boundary far too high and expect far too much from him. No one can live up to those expectations so early OP. It takes months to truly get to know someone. You had fun and maybe you'll have fun again on the next date. That's as far ahead as you should be thinking.
If you're looking for this guy to take away your loneliness or as a solution to your problems then that's not a good attitude OP. Dating is about fun and seeing where things go from there. Not putting crazy expectations on a guy you barely know.
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (29 April 2011):
 I would go for it. That's what dating is... think of it as a vacation.
you just enjoy yourself.
...............................
A
female
reader, sweetiebabes  +, writes (29 April 2011):
 Take the courage to have a life again and not live in fears, it is part of moving on and growing. In life, there is pain and pleasure. All you need to have is to know how to have emotional control, how to make good decisions for yourself. I understand your dilemma that you were hurt before, you got burnt and you don't want to feel those pains again. But you cannot just live your life in fears. Those hurt and those failures you had in your past relationship, take it as a lesson and don't make the same mistake. Let those pains be your guide to make decisions of what is best for you and what makes you happy. It is a good sign you get along well with this new guy and I think you enjoy his company because if not, you will not continue dating him. Get to know him more and enjoy your time with him, just be yourself with him. Be happy in your life, you owe it to yourself.
...............................
A
female
reader, cupidus +, writes (29 April 2011):
 Tricky, too painful alone, too painful to leave.How about you find a way to drop the pain from your solo existence and also from your new formed relationships.Take out the pain and you get excited about your down time and your public time. Leave pain in the background for a couple of weeks, enjoy all sides of life for a while and see how that carries you through. Just don't think about it at all. You need a pain killer. I think happiness is your next drug.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2011): I think u should give a go see everyone in this life need a partner to hang out,to love,to hug and feel the warm kiss once u give him a chance i hundred perc sure he will surely love i know u must be thinking that if he is like the other guy.that he will leave u all fingers are not same i think u should go on a date with this guy as my heart say that guy will surely be ur true partner.
...............................
A
female
reader, EtTuBrute +, writes (29 April 2011):
 Well, I'd say go for it. Explain to him that these are just "testing the waters" type of dates to see if you guys click. There's a difference between dating and being in a relationship. Unless one of you says that you want to be exclusive, you're not! :] Dating is all about finding someone you want to be with. That's the beauty of dating. Take a chance and go on another date. If you start to feel comfortable, try for a third. If you're really not ready, then go out with someone else or forget boys and hang out with your gals. :)
...............................
|
