A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have met a guy at college and we hit it off straight away. It's the first time I've found a guy with the same interests and we even seem to have the same way of thinking and insecurities. It's strange.He does things like carry my bags and he gave me his jacket and everyone says he must like me because of the way he acts and flirts around me, like we'll steal each others phone and play fight. This made me fall for him a bit.Then I found out that he'd told his friends that he had me "in the palm of his hand" and that he can "get me anytime he wants", he even called me clingy (which he says is cute) because I'm really bubbly, eventhough he's the one who calls about 3 times a day to ask where I am.I told him I knew about all this and he got really upset that he thought he'd upset me and he appologised and said he was wrong to have said anything and he didn't mean it. We've made up now but since then I've played it cool. He says he just loves me as a friend and the reason he can't like me is because we're such good friends and he's very comfortable to tell me anything, amazing apparently because we've only known each other 2 months. I'm just very confused because he still flirts and does cute little boyfriendy things with me which he doesn't seem to do with other girls and if I ever wear anything flirty I've seen him check me out and he sometimes passses comment, this is something none of my other close male friends would ever do on the grounds it would be like looking at their sister. I'm getting really mixed messages. What's going on here? and how do I respond to it?
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female
reader, Staceily +, writes (19 November 2012):
 He likes to flirt and play games, that's all that's going on. He felt embarrassed after you heard what his friends said. I don't think he was ever serious about a relationship with you. It's all just a game and trying to be impressive to his friends. If you like him as more than a friend then distance yourself because you will only get hurt. If you are fine with friendship and flirty banter then talk to him as much as you want, just don't ever expect much more than that.
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (18 November 2012):
 Yikes, he might be a decent guy to have a friend but I would DEFINITELY not go further then that - I can't see him being mature enough for a relationship if he thinks this is a game.
If you feel more then a friend about him, I would honestly cut down on the contact or cut him out entirely.
This guy needs to learn how to treat a girl right. And that IS NOT IT. Bragging that he can "have" you at any point in time.. seriously? what is he 5?
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (18 November 2012):
 So, getting a girl is a game for him in front of his friends. He "likes" you enough to get you to like him back. You respond to him by ignoring him because you should not accept that you are just some show off trophy, prove to his friends wrong that he did not have you in the palm of his hand. Anyone could hold handbags, playfight and flirt. The only sure sign of romantic liking is asking someone out on a date, face to face. A guy is not worth your attention until he officially asks you out.
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