A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi i need help!!i have spend 5 years with my boyfriend and he likes to watch porn all the time! he always lies to me about it, but i know, when i finally get to talk with him about it he tells me doesnt see anything and those things doesnt cause any reaction on him well.I believe him and then again all this stuff happens im really tired i have nothing against porn i actually like to watch it too but he always lie to me. i dont know what to do we live toguether and i feel like i just cant live alone but i cant live with him either... i dont want to go with my parents again that would make me feel so dissapoint of myself, im the one who work he does nothing but lying on the computer all day. eats a lot sometimes i just see him like a disgusting pig i dont know what to do.
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female
reader, kitah  +, writes (28 November 2012):
I would tell him to get off his backside and look for a job instead of watching porn and make him aware that u know he lies about it nd that u can't take the lying
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2012): "he always lies to me about it, but . . . I believe him . . . but he always lie to me."
"i dont know what to do we live toguether and i feel like i just cant live alone but i cant live with him either..."
"i dont want to go with my parents again that would make me feel so dissapoint of myself, im the one who work he does nothing but lying on the computer all day."
So basically you're letting a lying deadbeat loser walk all over you while you support him because you'd rather believe the lies that you know he's telling you rather than admit to yourself that he's lying and admit that your parents, who probably knew he was a lying deadbeat loser from the start, were right all along.
Agree with Staceily 100%, if you don't heed her advice then you are a fool for staying with this worthless mound of fleah attached to a disinterested penis.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2012): Sounds like a porn addict. If thats all he does, watch porn, eat and sleep. Thats a HUGE problem and his lying just adds to the frusteration, and makes you want to end it. My advice? Leave. This isnt about you. Its not about what you are and arent doing. These are HIS issues. You didnt drive him to it. More sex WILL NOT solve anything. You cant talk to a liar, because you dont know whats truth. Lying deminishes trust. Trust is KEY to any relationship. Furthermore trying requires action, not empty words. If he wanted to change and keep you he would put forth effort. Does he even have a job? Do you spend time together and enjoy being with eachother? DO NOT MARRY HIM, the problems will only increase. Sometimes people must fall flat on their face, and lose everything in order to achieve anything; and even then sometimes they never do. HE is one of these people. Make your decision wisely, good luck.
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A
female
reader, Staceily +, writes (17 November 2012):
 First off I will address the anon poster who told you not to worry about his weight gain. Do not ever marry a man you have issues with then hope to change him, you won't change him. If you don't love him as he is then you don't marry him, simple as that. If anything marriage causes someone to become even more relaxed and let go.
Also do not have more sex with him. His porn use isn't because you aren't providing enough sex.... He's lazy, a liar, porn addicted and a slob. More sex does not solve any of those issues.
And besides both of these points, the main problem is the lying, not porn use. You already said you don't care about watching porn. Yet he continues to lie. There is no relationship without trust, he has destroyed the trust. It's all going downhill fast. When he lies blatantly to your face about porn I can almost promise you he is or will lie about plenty of other things. You can't stay in a relationship like this.
In addition to the lying he disgusts you. Rightly so- he is jobless, fat, lives off of you while watching porn all day... You need to get out. You feel like you would be disappointed in yourself by living back at home with your parents? How could you be proud of yourself living like this? You are completely supporting someone who lies straight to your face. He has no respect for you. Life is much worse off living and stuck with him than it would ever be at home with your parents. I mean think about it, staying with this guy is holding you back from meeting someone better. Staying with him is costing you far more money than being on your own since you are taking care of the both of you.
If you can afford to support both of you then you could afford to live on your own. If for some reason you can't and do have to go back home it doesn't make you a loser or disappointment. It would be temporary until you save enough to get back out on your own. Well worth it. Get away from this guy and get your life back on track on your own. He's a liar and a loser, life with him will only get worse.
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A
male
reader, JustHelpinAgain  +, writes (17 November 2012):
Its not really the porn that is the problem. And you dont have to leave it to your boyfriend to decide what you do. Sounds like you need to have more sex and then find other things to do. Porn watching is more a sign of bordom. Of course if he prefers porn to sex with you then there is a major issue. Most guys watch porn because they are bored and/or want sex. Men are pretty simple to understand, you just have to work it out. You could try talking with him but that rarely does any good! Good luck
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