A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I am looking for some guidance and maybe some encouragement during the hardest week of my life. My bf and I have been together for almost a year and 8 months and just recently he has decided he needs time to think and we are taking a break for a week, possibly more. He is in college full time right now for teaching and will be starting student teaching in the spring. He is not sure how much time he will have to spend with me and schooling will take up most of his time. He says it is killing him that he won't be there for me and will only be able to see me once or twice a week, if that. This is very tough because we started off seeing each other every night and as the months have gone by, the amount of time we have together has been less and less since he is so busy with school and I have been working 2 jobs. He wants to take a break for a week and see where things go. It is just very very hard and I have this constant knot in my stomach when I think about losing him and what we have. We have been through a lot in this relationship and I think we could get through this too. I'm just worried because he has never asked for a break before. I obviously just need to stay away and give him the time and space he needs. He wants me to contact him the beginning of next week to talk but what if he doesn't have any answers by then? Life is too short to sit around waiting for something that might end up in disaster but then again, I don't want to lose the best thing that has ever happened to me. Any thoughts?
View related questions:
a break Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, SillyB +, writes (28 September 2010):
 Not a good situation! When a man is spending less and less time with you and then finally drops this type of bomb, I'd think its time for YOU to break up with HIM.
Look, he obviously isn't serious about this relationship or interested enough to spend lots of time with you. He might even have another female interest on the side and wants to see what happens with her...
Read these two books "why men marry bitches" and "He's just not that into you". This type of behavior from a BF is not acceptable and a red flag. He's lost interest. A man is never to busy, to tired, too stressed, too sick, too whatever to see the woman he really wants to see. He wouldn't want to lose you to another man.
Hope you can see this from an objective perspective. I know its hard when feelings are involved but you also have to be smart. Being treated like this is not good, who is he to tell you he wants a break - you are pretty and smart and have a lot of things going for you. Its his loss, I'd be breaking up with him and moving forward. There are guys out there that wouldn't dream of being too busy for you or wanting a break.
So be strong and don't sit around waiting for him to make up his mind. Go start dating and heading out with your GFs. Show him that you're not going to be sitting around waiting for him, it gives him too much power if you do.
Big hug!
A
female
reader, Questions23 +, writes (28 September 2010):
The way to get a guy back when he asks for a break is to literally give him so much of a break he is wondering what you are up to and how you are able to deal so well. He will come back out of curiosity and doubt that he made a mistake. That's when he will be open to talking about issues, when he comes back to you. I would call him like you guys had planned but don't ask him for answers or if he has made his mind up. Go out this week and do something you've always wanted to do(restaurants,coffee,library,yoga class etc)and don't be 100% consumed with trying to fix/find out relationship issues and he will get the point that you aren't all about him and the chase will ensue.
...............................
|
