A
female
age
,
*arielana28
writes:My boyfriend is in his late forties, I am a few years younger. He sometimes loses his erection, and today he lost it as soon as I removed my clothes. We had already been doing it and then bam, it was gone. The timing made me feel like it was definitely me. I'm overweight and although my bf says I am never the problem, the timing is too perfect for me to think otherwise. I know that some of you will say that it isn't me, but can't it be me?? Any men out there wish to comment? Don't be mean, just tell me the truth, isn't it sometimes the girl?
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female
reader, Marielana28 +, writes (27 September 2010):
Marielana28 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you all, I really appreciate all of you taking the time to respond. I feel much better and foolish that I wasn't more supportive of my man. xoxo
A
female
reader, SillyB +, writes (27 September 2010):
 I asked my 37 year old BF - he said that with time men become comfortable. Its not you, but its you. As in, he's used to seeing you the way you are...so it becomes less of a stimuli. You have to do new things to spice things up & to stimulate him erotically. For example, a lap dance or dancing for him on the floor, starting with oral fully dressed, trying new positions, kissing his erotic areas (neck, thighs), making some noise. This is all normal, but of course its a slight hit to the ego. Start working out also hun, to feel good about yourself. Nothing catches a guys attention as much as a sexy confident girl. Finally, also remember that he's in his 40's, with hormonal changes, his sex drive and ability to stay erect changes. Good luck!
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A
male
reader, Beingblack  +, writes (26 September 2010):
 Oh no Marielana! Its not you, you poor thing. Please dont think that way.
You are blaming yourself for something that many of us men suffer from in middle age, something that is never, ever, ever, related to the way a woman looks.
It is hard to easily describe how precarious a mans erection can be. It's a constant battle for us simple males to remain focused, even in moments of high desire. The most stupid thoughts can sometimes come barging into our brains, and deflate the mood. The most common thoughts are something along the lines of 'I don't think I'm good enough for this beautiful woman, I'm going to come too quickly, my dick isn't big enough, she thinks I'm saggy round the belly, my feet smell, and why on earth does she want me?'. Men are just as insecure about sex as women are. Any one of those thoughts can cause enough anxiety to produce a limp response.
Also it is his age. Men in their forties lose their erections from time to time. Fact of life.
For you the timing is not significant, just unfortunate. He didnt lose his desire for you, he merely lost his erection, but not because of you. I have experienced a few similar moments, where I am hot to trot one minute, but even Angelina Jolie, lying on my bed with smouldering eyes and her legs akimbo, could not help me maintain a hard on. Its our age. Its not you.
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A
male
reader, mrvhappy +, writes (26 September 2010):
Hi,
It all depends on a number of factors.
1) His age
2) when he last had sex
3) His health
4) Any medication that he's on
5) If he's tired/stressed/worried about something, it may happen.
If he has seen you naked before and not lost his erection, then I dont think yr weight is an issue so dont fret and enjoy!!
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A
male
reader, Cupid Boy  +, writes (26 September 2010):
 It could be that. But you said it only happens sometimes. He's also a middle-aged guy and they can develop circulation problems down there. Could also be something mental, like a distraction or feeling stressed about performing. What you're suggesting is possible but unless it starts happening consistently whenever you disrobe, I wouldn't jump to any conclusions.
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