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age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I just found out my boyfriend of 2yrs showed a bunch of his friends and co-workers pictures of my breasts that he and I took during our first year of dating. I don't know at what point he showed these pictures--possibly during a big fight...or maybe right away? Does it even matter though? I didn't let him include my face in these pictures, just as a safety percaution... but I'm assuming he revealed my identity to those viewing the photos because one of our mutual friends actually let it slip that I have nice boobs. This REALLY bothers me a great deal--not about the mutual friend, who I can deal with being a moron...but because it shows that my boyfriend lacks respect for me. He claims "that's what guys do" but I can't imagine his co-workers show nude pics of their wives. Is this a deal breaker?
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI understand what everyone has said and agree with you all. Thank you for the input. I've broken up with him, but we have been talking...part of me still feels like it might be redeamable even though I know I shouldn't even consider getting back with him. It's hard to stop loving someone after two years...because of pictures on a cell phone. Still, I realize that it shows a complete lack of respect for me and regard for my privacy. Also, the honesty thing is an issue. Since discussing it, he claims he didn't show them as soon as they were taken, but rather when we had a HUGE blow out fight-turned breakup about 6 months ago. I said the meanest stuff to him, so I wouldn't have blamed him for feeling like we were over for good and showing the pics...but I don't know if I believe him. I think he showed them after they were taken, because he also said that he showed them to his friends bc he was proud of me, I have "awesome boobs" .. etc...so he's contradicted himself. I'm conflicted. I'm going to open up a new thread in which I address the same question but only to guys--to ask them what it actually means for him to have revealed these pics, and in the case where guys DON'T show pics of their wives/girlfriends--is it out of respect? Or is it out of jealousy and possessiveness? Because there is a difference. A huge difference. If guys just don't want other guys to get ideas and possibly hit on their territory, that's more out of consideration for himself rather than the girl.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2010): Not all guys do this. He's probably immature still. So that's up to you. He might change, might not. But I love my wife and would never do that. Those are just for me. I would never want my wife exposed like that. Especially to my friends. Because i know next time they see her they will remember that image. He probably was tryingto brag, but that shows he doesn't respect you. Some things are best kept private. Let him know this is unacceptable. And it's up to you to what todo from there.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2010): Dont stoop down to anyone's level EVER...make ur own class, youre own ideas, and be above everyone else. F*** those other guys. Yeah what u did was wrong and arguably childish however I may have done the same thing. Dont give in like that and play a little game. You seem like a smarter woman, encouraging, and prob one id hold the door for. Keep ur head up and stand ur own ground maturely =)
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female
reader, SillyB  +, writes (17 October 2010):
 My bf refuses to show my naked photos to his friends. I've asked why even though he showed naked pictures of his past lovers to them?
He said because he loves me and respects me and wants no guy to look at me that way.
what you bf did shows just how he feels about you and the relationship. YOu're not his best friend, lover and everything; just a gf who he gets to have sex with.
I'd be walking away right now.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys. I appreciate the feedback. I broke up with him. This part's going to sound crazy, please don't be too harsh on me--but I also sent his friends a picture of my breasts (just my breasts). I don't know why I did it--clearly in retaliation. I guess part of me felt like it would bother my ex... trying to beat him at his own game. Being spiteful. The way I figured it--they've already seen them...so it's not like it's crossing over any new boundaries. In some weird way I felt I was proving a point...if he (my ex) wants to be trashy, I can join him on that level. It's NOT along the same lines as sleeping with your ex's friend in revenge, when all it does is make you look really stupid...I had that option, and said NO. Maybe I did it (sending the pics) to get attention or to feel some sort of resolution ..or to gain some sort of closure. I don't know why I did it...it's a twisted brand of humor and revenge. Don't be too harsh on me about that decision. Thanks again for your helpful comments!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2010): Ask for his phone and remove any pictures hes stored. Do the same with his pc. If he cant respect you now. What might he do with your pics if you ever split up. Hes demonstrated that hes not honouring you, your reputation or your body. Hes exposing you to all manner of lewdness amongst males hes shown your intimate pictures too. Who knows what situation that could lead to for you. If its a deal breaker or not, is entirely up to you. But i would base any decision on the assumption hes shown around everything hes stored of you. In my opinion he doesnt respect you as he should. I wouldnt be happy with someone like that.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (17 October 2010):
 A total deal breaker that shows an utter lack of respects. That's what guys do ??? I wonder which kind of guys your bf is associating with....
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2010): guys don't do that - atleast not the decent ones
however saying that my bro in law did show me pictures of my sister topless - ofcourse that was an accident and i'd already been familiar with her naked rear so doesn't overly matter that i got flashed, but i'd still be wary of who else might be "accidentally" flashed thus would advise never take any pictures that your folks couldn't see obviously a little too late with advise. But hmmmm, the only think i can think of if you wanna stay with him is delete all pictures and don't take any more. also with sharing pictures so personal, i wonder what else he's sharing with others.
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reader, whiteelephant +, writes (17 October 2010):
dealbreaker. I live in a fraternity house and I don't even TELL other guys what I do with girls, let alone show them pictures. The experience is between me and my partner...anything I feel the need to reveal outside that is obv a deep internal issue
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female
reader, kkkay  +, writes (17 October 2010):
This is a deal breaker. If he had any respect for you he wouldn`t have showed the pictures to his friends. He`s just showing you off to his friends. If he`s shown his friends pictures of you, what else might he have told them?
You shouldn`t trust him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2010): This man needs to meet at the corner of fist & face. I am real friggin pissed this man disrespected ur body. Your body should be considered sacred and private and only for him to view in such a manner. The way he showed the pics and explained shows he is very immature, out of line, and doesnt even closely deserve a woman who respects her body. Yes, you could have made the mistake of letting him take pics. However, if u did so while relying on his intent to keep things private, then he clearly violated this and I would not hesitate to get rid of him. Good sign here he does not respect you or body and a man that does that is unable to love you or respect himself. My best wishes on this.
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female
reader, YouWish +, writes (17 October 2010):
 Oh yeah, complete and utter deal breaker. All guys do NOT do that. A REAL man is a classy one, and wouldn't dream of exposing the woman he loves like that. You probably felt exposed and kinda violated when the friend commented on your boobs.
On a less honorable note, most smart guys wouldn't advertise their hot girlfriends to their buddies like that. Can you say "move in and steal"??? What a moron. I can understand bragging a bit, but showing nude shots? Lame!
I would immediately break up with the guy in a second if I heard of him doing that. How could you show your face at his work or around his friends after that?? You're lucky you didn't marry him!
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male
reader, Ricemonster  +, writes (17 October 2010):
 Since this bothers you, you can either tell him that it bothers you and give him another chance or break it off. I don't think that is what all guys do and even if some guys do it, I don't think it justifies it.
Most of my past and current lovers are comfortable with their bodies and are pretty liberal to a point. Showing their breasts to a friend is hardly considered a deal breaker, but I am only so lucky to find women whom are relatively more secure about themselves and enjoy a bit of the exhibitionism. Alas, you're not that type of woman, so definitely react accordingly.
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female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (17 October 2010):
 It would be a deal breaker for me, as it shows a total lack of respect, it's up to you to decide if it is a deal breaker for you.
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