A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Ok I have a new friend who I met through my child's school... I think we will end up being really good friends, she's really on my wave length... The trouble is she's single and has signed up to loads of dating sites, she keeps meeting loads of blokes at the weekend when her child's at their dad's and she sleeps with them... On the first or second date, despite being gorgeous they never seem to want to know her.. Yet she doesn't get it!'!! She keeps saying to me and my husband "please tell me why I'm single" So My question is how do I say nicely without hurting her feelings... Stop being a bit of a tart!! I don't know her well enough to be that forward! Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Nithyanala  +, writes (23 October 2010):
 I'd normally tell you not to get involved but since this lady does ask you why she's still single I guess you do have a right to give an answer.
Just be - honest you know. Tell her she needs to respect herself more and when she does that she'll find it a lot easier to find the right kind of man.
A
female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (23 October 2010):
 I like to start it off "As your friend I will give you my take on it, it's a possibility that they're getting the wrong impression of you due to the fact you have sex with them on the first date. They think that's all you want and leave it at that unintended one night stand. I totally get that you're trying to find a great guy, but may I make a suggestion here? You still want to know if you're sexually compatible with them, right? Nothing worse than getting in a relationship with a man who can't cut it int bed..Wait about 2-3 weeks of dating then jump into the sack! That way you get to know them, rope them in, then seduce them!"
Somewhere along those lines, very proper, you're telling her the problem but offering a solution as well. I admit I do like the self help dating idea..Here's two I love "He's Just Not That Into You: Your Daily Wakeup Call, "He's Just Not That Into You: The No Excuse Truth to Understanding Guys..these books are written by a guy and a little by his wife. Brilliant books, she can watch the movie based off them too.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2010): Hi,
You could use this old saying my mom told me. "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" Men like girls who are easy so they can use them to relieve themselves, have a good time and then just toss them away. As woman, we need more. I would tell her until she starts respecting herself, then nobody she dates is going to respect her. Most men, still want to marry the girl who is chaste and modest. Just tell her that. N' yes, it's not fair that men can be man hoes and woman can't, but life is not fair.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2010): This is the kind of situation that requires a counselor to get in depth with the person on. Really, you can't help her but by saying, "you know, there is always a reason for this type of thing, and a counselor can help you find it".
Friends can help you find a counselor, but you don't know a fraction of this woman's story, she won't tell you because she is a friend.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2010): I would just ask her to try a little experiment on her next several dates. Tell her she should totally leave sex out of the equation, including frank discussions about it or mild insinuations. She should leave the date headed toward her own home, alone, and not accept any physical come-ons from her date. She should thank him for a nice date, and, if it is true, tell him she would love to go out with him again. As a part of this experiment, she is not to partake in any sexual activities with any of these men until they are exclusively dating. Just present this idea to her as trying something new. Even scientists don't repeat the same failing methods, so neither should your friend.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2010): I would just ask her to try a little experiment on her next several dates. Tell her she should totally leave sex out of the equation, including frank discussions about it or mild insinuations. She should leave the date headed toward her own home, alone, and not accept any physical come-ons from her date. She should thank him for a nice date, and, if it is true, tell him she would love to go out with him again. As a part of this experiment, she is not to partake in any sexual activities with any of these men until they are exclusively dating. Just present this idea to her as trying something new. Even scientists don't repeat the same failing methods, so neither should your friend.
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A
female
reader, SillyB +, writes (22 October 2010):
 Tell her to read "He's just not that into you" and "Why men marry bitches". It'll spell it out nice and clear for her - respecting your body and yourself will lead to men respecting you more.
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