A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I live with my mother and younger sisters who are sixteen and fourteen. My parents divorced when we were young but I am the only one who remembers a time where dad lived with us. My mom is truly promiscious that it borderlines prostitution. She brings home men often that it wasn't unusual to see a different man coming downstairs in the morning. But soon she starts sleeping with married men and married men who has money.Around junior high and high school, people start to notice my mother's actions and they either scorn me for it and guys hope that some of her rubbed off on me. Plus my sister *Andrea* is starting to like guys and wants them to notice them so she's starting to pay more attention to mom because men seem to like her. She's beginning to flirt with boys older than her because she's tall for her age and an early bloomer and those who are taken.I love my mother but I am afraid of her behavior influencing my life and my younger sisters behavior. What can I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2010): I am very sad to hear your predicament. It is up to you now to be the guiding light for your young siblings. Talk to them. Be frank and candid. There is Jo way you will be able to change your mom, but by all means use her as an example of what not to be when you talk to them. Despite all the humiliation your mom has undoubtedly caused you, you can take pride in rising above it all and being a role model for your younger sisters. I know that such is a burden that is not really fair for you to have to shoulder, at your age you have every right to be thinking of yourself most of the time, but life deals us different hands, and you are in a special place to really make a difference to two girls who need help.By the way, we have a similar situation happening with our neighbors. The eldest son is repulsed by it all, and in response, is very conscious about trying to lead a moral and responsible life. A good kid. We are really worried about the youngest though. All this started happening when he was young, so he has no frame of reference to view it as wrong. It's just normal for him. We try to be a guiding force for him. Nice kid too. Were just worried...Good luck to you, and God bless you for being there for them
A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (29 September 2010):
 Unfortunately there isn't much you can do. You have to focus on your own life. You aren't your sisters' mom. You can't change your mom's actions. If she cared about what you thought, she wouldnt' be doing the things she does in the first place. She obviously isn't concerned about the example she is setting for your sisters either.
Would you be better off living with your dad? Do you think that would make a difference? Her actions may help him obtain custody if he tried.
Ultimately you need to live the life that you feel you should. Be the example, but don't try to force it on others. That will be setting yourself up to be hurt very badly and possibly drive a wedge between yourself and your sisters. Follow your own path. Hopefully Andrea sees the light sooner than later. It wouldn't be out of line to tell her that she's setting herself up for bad things, but you have to let her make her own decisions and reap the consequences.
Good luck. I do not envy the position you are in.
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A
female
reader, SillyB +, writes (29 September 2010):
 Talk to your sisters. Explain to them that this is not normal and healthy behavior. Keep reiterating this over and over, be a good example to them.
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