| A
age
,
*
writes: My ex went on a mid life crisis spree..we split up because he was on the dating sites and setting up relationships with them every month......why ? He has stopped communication with his kids....and as far as facebook everytime he comes on he deactivates it.He has a pic of this woman but no relationship status...she has her status saying she is in a relationship She just recently deleted all of his pics she had of him on there only one pic of them snuggling together...When I confronted him about her he denied he was her boyfriend. Why?...We are are not together anymore 2 years apart...we are not civil either...but he seems to hide it when I ask...She has been creeping my facebook My friends told me she has dyed her hair dark lol ...Why is my ex hiding the fact he's with her...its not like we are still together....Does he think I will want him in the future if he makes me believe he's not in a relationship...like really ?
View related questions:
facebook, my ex, split up Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI guess the way I worded things really makes me look like that...fair people.....
and no my pic with sunglasses were from summer but I put it up ...but its fine...
......but hey its fair it is what it is and it sounds like that..but I know whats going on I just feel bad I came here to this forum..for some advice...and I got the stalker and now OCD....I know you folks see things the way the author writes it and I would say the same too ....I read my question and it does sound bad...wow ...anyways thank you for your time.. :)
A
male
reader, Serpico  +, writes (15 January 2013):
Cas - Im going to be blunt with you. The actions you are taking and the things you are posting just reek of being a stalker and OCD. "I want him to own up...." "Hes a compulsive liar." "I would love for him to tell me....."You need to stop, and stop right now. The guy doesn't want to be around you, and from what you write I can see why. Leave him alone and move on with your life. Last, yes, this is an advice forum. Just because you don't like the advice people are almost uniformly giving you here doesn't make it not one.
...............................
A
female
reader, straight to the truth  +, writes (14 January 2013):
You may not like the advice given from this advice forum but at the end of the day he doesn't need to justify himself from you and the advice is simply cut all strings with him and stop looking at this womans profile. If you put up a picture of you wearing sunglasses and so did she can I ask was it summer? Alot of people have these pictures in summer. At the end of the day you need to stop questionning him on his life, he doesn't need to own up to anything and you need to stop looking into what this other woman is up to. The advice given here is simply to stop what you are doing, Move on and accept the fact that he doesn't need to tell you anything.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI guess I forgot to mention that he's hacking into my emails..and will text me to find out if I want coffee..my tires were slashed...my phone number has been changed many times due to prank calls....my friends on facebook have told me what this woman is up to ...I dont care....I still love him ..but Wow.. I'm not the stalker ...I want him to own up at least once but that's not going to happen, the poor guy is a compulsive liar....I guess when I do read my question that it does come off like that.... I put up my pic with sunglasses ...there she the girlfriend with a similar pic...and so on....my friends are his friends so they compare the pics and see it..I just showed them the answers here its actually funny how people can attack and really know nothing what they are saying..this isnt a advice forum...but I have been wrongly accused of something that I would love for him to tell me that he's moved on.....no money from him...he still has his things here as far as his kids are concerned ....no Christmas cards , no money , no gifts....yeah it must be because of me...thanks folks...thanks for the "advice"
...............................
A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (8 January 2013):
One more vote for - you are broken up two years - why are you still stalking him? Given the way you are acting, Im inclined to understand why he decided to leave.
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (7 January 2013):
 You split two years ago…. Why are you
a. Stalking him on facebook (and honey if you are checking on him so much you are stalking him in some way)
b. letting her “creep you on facebook”
c. Getting information on her about her HAIR COLOR from FRIENDS?
d. Worried about WHY he’s doing it
Here is my take on this:
First of all I had to check and re-check the AGE of the poster… YOU are NOT 18 or even 25! And this NONSENSE is CHILDISHNESS at it’s finest
He is over and done with you and you are supposed to be over and done with him. YOU no longer are supposed to CARE what he does or what he thinks and if YOU do, then YOU are the one NOT over the other…
My ADVICE:
Block him on social media! Block his girlfriend on Social media
Tell all your so called friends that you DO NOT WISH TO HEAR about HIM OR HER
And get some therapy to help figure out why you are so stuck in the past that you care so deeply about an EX who lied and cheated on you.
...............................
A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (7 January 2013):
I don't know you or him but it also occurred to me that he may not be seeing your kids because of the way you act. Keep that in mind; if you're making his life difficult he may feel it's just easier to not see them as well.
Your letter gives me the impression that you aren't a good "breaker upper" (he isn't either for all I know).
If you think that's true maybe you should concern yourself more with being a good ex and trying to make a hospitable environment for him to come and see his children than what color his girlfriends hair is.
...............................
A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (7 January 2013):
I agree with everyone else; the real question is why are you so concerned with his relationship status if you don't want to be with him?
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2013): Why are you so bothered? He doesn't have to tell you if he doesn't want to, and you really don't NEED to know. I'm guessing since you said you're not civil, you would fly off the rails in rage at him if he confirmed what you already believe, so this maybe why he's not owning up to anything where his personal life is concerned.
I'm assuming (given the age verified with your post) that the "Kids" aren't actually kids anymore, so they won't rely on the constant support of both parents either. You both split up over 2 years ago, I don't see the problem other than you seem to insist on knowing every in and out of his new life. I think maybe you could try to move on from him because he isn't interested and you are only wasting your own time by going round in circles.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2013): I don't understand why you care whether he is dating someone or not. It doesn't need to concern you because you two are no longer together. And yeah it sounds like he is dating her and it sounds like he is out dating, period. You knew this when you caught him on dating sites.
So you want to know whether he is hiding it from you because he may want to rekindle with you someday? Well he is not hiding anything from you, realistically. You knew what he was up to behind your back and what he continues to be up to. It's no secret that he is dating other women. So if you really think he is trying to hide his extra marital status, he is obviously not trying very hard.
That he is specifically trying to hide this particular woman from you could just be that he may fear your reaction towards her. I mean you are checking his facebook non stop and kinda stalking him. What does that tell you? Maybe he fears you are vindictive and may try to sabotage his relationship or try to harm this woman in some way. I'd be just as secretive about my personal life if I had someone obsessing about me.
You really need to move on with your life...
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2013): If you split up because he was on dating sites I would of forgot about that guy quite soon. I dumped my boyfriend for looking at porn during our relationship and I have moved on from him in 5 and a half months.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2013): as you said "he is your ex of 2 years apart" so why are you snooping on his profile and paying so much attention to this new person in his life.
Why dont you have your own facebook secured so that strangers cant view your wall and why are you wasting your time looking at her?
He probably isn't telling you anything because to be honest its not any of your business anymore, including the fact that she has dyed her hair.
You are clearly bothered by what he is upto because if you wasn't you would not be snopping so much.
stop snooping at your ex's profile or this lady's profile and simply move on. What he is doing now is none of your business.
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (6 January 2013):
Two things struck me when reading this post.
The first was that this ex of your eas a liar before. So if he was lying to you during your relationship, why would he suddenly change and start telling you the truth afterwards? Answer, he wouldn't.
The second thing was that he's been an ex for two years now, and I hate to say it, but who he sees isn't really any of your business anymore. It will only cause you more pain of you sit there obsessing over who he's seeing, or what he's hiding and all that stuff.
I would strongly suggest to you that you stop worrying and wondering about what he's up to, and who he's seeing. He's obviously hurt you, and your children, and the best bet is to just back off and let him get on with it. Seriously, don't waste your life wondering what he's up to. It'll just drive you mad.
...............................
|
