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Why is this guy ignoring me? We had a great 3 days together. I know he has a Gf.

Tagged as: Cheating, Crushes, Long distance, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 December 2012) 11 Answers - (Newest, 28 December 2012)
A female United States age 36-40, *hoez writes:

I had a great time with a guy for 3 continous days.

It wasn't supposed to be a date but we met for a lunch at 1pm....and the date ended up 3am! It was not supposed to be a date as he was leaving the country and he already has a girlfriend.

However, by the 3rd date, it became clear that we really enjoy each other's time and liked each other so we made out.

I know we cheated on his girlfriend but we both know that he is leaving the country and this would be a nice last memory.

I left for dinner and we said that we will meet up after my dinner.

However, after that he never picked up/replied my what's up and when I called him it went to the voice mail.

Is he avoiding me?

View related questions: has a girlfriend

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A male reader, Serpico United States +, writes (28 December 2012):

You were used, and allowed yourself to be since you had full information prior. He no longer has use for you and harbors no feelings for you - those he saves for his gf.

Learn your lesson and move on.

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom +, writes (26 December 2012):

N91 agony auntCouple of things about this one:

If a guy is willing to cheat, why would you want to be with him? He could just as easily cheat on you...

If you're being bedded by a guy after knowing him for 3 days, you're not relationship material. Being easy is a MAJOR turn off.

And people with GFs who meet other girls, then claim that they will leave them for you, are usually talking a load of sh*t to keep you hanging on and wrapped around their finger.

Learn your lesson from this one, move on.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 December 2012):

He used you and now he's gone back to his girlfriend. Move on.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (25 December 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony auntYes he's avoiding you.

3 days... it was a flash in the pan.... he is not leaving his gf for you and how convenient that he's leaving the country.

He's one and done honey... move on.

and the important point: IF he did leave his gf for you, what's to prevent him from doing to you what he did to her. HE CHEATED ON HIS GF with you. IF he did leave her for you, he would do the same to you when you got boring to him.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (25 December 2012):

Honeypie agony auntHe is full of it...

He's known you for 3 days and would leave his GF for you.. IF he wasn't moving to another country.. sure... He got you in bed, that was his goal I'm guessing. Yes a LOVELY memory to be some guys second choice.

He is still WITH his GF even though he cheated with you, what does that tell you about him?

And IF he wanted to pursue this "happiness" with you he would tell you so, instead he gave you the I'm moving" speech. You know, he could still break up with his GF even if he is moving..... but he didn't, because he has no intentions to break up with her.

And, let's speculate... he comes back, dumps his gf for you.. then HOW long do you think it will be before he feels "chemistry" with someone else and cheats on you? You might THINK you somehow is better then his GF, but are you really that naive?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 December 2012):

You already had more than you expected and you knew this wasn't a permanent thing with you and him.

New year new start soon, put this behind you and find a boyfriend who can commit.

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A male reader, Beingblack United Kingdom +, writes (25 December 2012):

Beingblack agony auntHe has a girlfriend, which you knew about. As you said yourself, it was just a fling, so why are you still bothering to think about him.

He has a girlfriend, so he doesn't want or need another complication. He enjoyed your time together as much as you did, but now he doesn't want to know because - he has a girlfriend.

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A female reader, shoez United States +, writes (25 December 2012):

shoez is verified as being by the original poster of the question

he replied, he was actually on medication. In any case we never wanted it to happen, he is moving away plus he has a girlfriend. He said if he is still in the country, he will leave his girlfriend for me..but unfortunately it seems like bad timing for us. I just feel we have so much chemistry it is such a waste.....shouldn't we pursue our own happiness?

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A male reader, CMMP United States +, writes (25 December 2012):

He's not avoiding you, he just moved on... it was a fling. Maybe he felt guilty or got too busy before he left. Either way it doesn't matter!

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A male reader, CMMP United States +, writes (25 December 2012):

Uhhh, he cheated on his girl probably feels bad about it or he had some fun and that was the end of it.

Avoiding you might not be the best way to put it but he's moving on.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 December 2012):

Yes. He had a girlfriend. He has taken all he wants from you. Learn the lesson and move on.

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