A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm 22. I've been seeing an older guy for some time now. He's 39. Despite the age difference, we connect on various levels. He's an amazing guy and I want to get to know him more and more. But here's the thing. I'm a virgin and I'm pretty sure he isn't. He found out I was a virgin but he didn't say anything about it. I'm worried that he won't ever wants to have sex with me because of the fact that I am still a virgin. Most guys I know would freak out because they're afraid of being a girl's first. It puts too much pressure on them to make the moment perfect. And also...he's 39! Obviously he has more experience than I do! I've done some stuff but I've never gone all the way because I want it to be with someone special.
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male
reader, Serpico +, writes (14 January 2013):
I dont know where the fiction of "a man doesnt want a virgin" originated, but I can tell you in the vast majority of cases its just that.....a fiction...
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2013): Lots of virgins these days are not exactly virgins. The only thing they didn't do is intercourse, but the rest is done many times, and so called virgins already know how orgasm feels, and what is oral sex both ways, and anal sex.
Basicaly what's left is a little technicality. Guys who think noone ever been with their girl most times are in a dark, as in my opinion sex is sex, intercourse or not
I don't why on earth he would be hesitant in having sex with you. You are of age, no doubt about it, if it's not him, then it will be someone else, unless you want to wait till you marry.
Also first time is intercourse is nothing but pain for a girl, nothing to rave about.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (11 January 2013):
Everybody knows that guys are turned off by the idea of being with a virgin. They hate knowing that no other guy has been with their girl before.
Sarcasm aside it may add a little bit of pressure, but what any good guy wants from sex is that it's an enjoyable experience for everyone involved. That's true whether you're a virgin or not.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (11 January 2013):
 I doubt he'd be put off by the fact you are a virgin, it's not like having some repulsive, disfiguring disease :) In fact, some men would find it more endearing alluring , and erotic too.
And if you think that MOST men feel a lot the pressure of making your first time perfect.... lol, you have much more trust in the selflessness of human nature than I have !
But, yes, I think that he might ( perhaps he should, if he is a good guy ) have hesitations in case he's not clear yet, or you are not on the same page , about where this thing is going. If he is not looking for a serious relationship ( not necessarily being a pig or a player, just wanting to play it by ear for the moment ) he could feel being the first like more of a responsibility than he is ready to handle.
So, perhaps you'd better find out what do you want from each other ( casual, committed or in between ) before the situation turns openly sexual.
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A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (11 January 2013):
 I very much doubt many men would be put off by sleeping with a virgin, in fact they would see it as a bonus! If you look on this site so many men are upset and complaining about their wives/girlfriend's sexual past, wishing they hadnt been with so many men. So you will be perfect to most men - there is no sexual past so there is nothing for them to be jealous of or get upset about.
The only issue here is the age gap - if he doesnt see this relationship going anywhere long term then he might be reluctant to sleep with you because he doesnt want to take advantage of you (hopefully).
Have you had the chat yet about where this is going? Has he expressed that he wants to be with you long term? I think a 39 year old might struggle with a 17 year age gap, and while he might like you and connect well with you, if you think seriously about the future chances are he knows deep down this probably wont work. So before you start thinking about having sex with him you need to discuss where this is going and whether you are going to give this a try as a proper long term relationship.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2013): Hi, actually you should be proud that you are a virgin and waited for the right person to make it special. Men love knowing that they are your first and yes they will be more attentive and considerate. Dont stress and dont make it and issue. Also he is with you because he loves you and want to be with you.Remember dont rush into an intimate relationship and make sure its for the right reasons after all you waited this long.
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