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... Send *ensible Alice a private message | | | *ensible Alice's profile:Hi I'm Sensible Alice,
I'm a wife, mother, cancer survivor, aspiring novelist and hopeless romantic. My advice is given purely out of the desire to be helpful, using common sense, life experience, compassion and humour where appropriate, LOL. It is not intended to offend or be taken in place of medical or professional advice.
*PS I'll let you guess as to my age. After all, a girl has to have some secrets, don't you agree? |
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Why do the guys I get close to only see me as a friend?
Q. I've been friends with this guy for quite a while now and I've never imagined myself falling for him. He's really fun to hangout out with and our conversations never gets boring we also share the same interests. We always joke around about us being ...
A. 13 March 2014: I apologise in advance here if I offend you, because that's not what I intend at all. I'm just wondering if you're a girly girl or more of a tomboy? The reason I ask is that I've a girlfriend who hung around with mainly boys, could speak their speak ... (read in full...)
Need a place to turn in a marriage where I feel like I have no choice
Q. My stepdaughter has always been a source of problems, particularly when it comes to her relationship with her mother: whatever stepdaughter wants, stepdaughter gets. Over the near 17 years of my marriage I've been mostly able to afford these ext...
A. 12 March 2014: I can only imagine how hard this is. I so admire people who step in and become the father or mother figure in a new relationship, because it certainly is not easy or without stress. So high five to you for stepping up! Now, let's just take the ... (read in full...)
His texts are becoming less frequent and he always leaves the conversations hanging. Lost cause?
Q. I began seeing a guy at the start of this year after meeting him on an online dating site. Now we immediately hit it off and in the back and forth of our conversation we figured out that he worked in the company I was just starting in. Things de...
A. 12 March 2014: Sounds like he doesn't know what he wants. It's possible he likes someone else or is just not interested. Hopefully he gives you an answer soon. But try not to sit around waiting on him, keep an eye out for someone who won't mess you around. ... (read in full...)
We used to laugh together but now I'm not laughing with him
Q. How do I tell my boyfriend that he is seriously hurting my feelings? We've always been the best of friends for almost 5 years, the kind of friends that could cut up together, with sarcasm, and humor. We've said some of the most rudest, meanest ...
A. 12 March 2014: Oh, I totally feel for you. While it's great to joke around and be sarcastic, his comment "I think she gave me crabs last night," was thoughtless and insensitive. I don't see why he had to make it cringe-worthy. He could have said, "Hey Dad, she ... (read in full...)
How should I go about this without seeming needy or desperate?
Q. Hi folks! Background: I met a girl about a month ago(someone new to my University). I immediately obtained her number and her Facebook, and on the very same day I walked her home after class. A bit over a week ago I took her out to lunch, which ...
A. 11 March 2014: You must be going crazy with all this waiting! I'm not sure I could be that patient. Five days with no contact is a bit rude. She might not like to text but it's only good manners to acknowledge a message. Maybe you might need to call her from now ... (read in full...)
He wants me to sell my home and buy a bigger house but his drinking concerns me
Q. Hello there - Am after some advice. I am 40 years old and am living with my partner and our 6 month old baby. To cut things short my partner has always struggled with alcohol but is a loving partner and a wonderful Dad and never drinks at ...
A. 11 March 2014: I hear every one of your concerns and understand where you are coming from. I can only say; listen to your gut. If he starts drinking again down the line and you have are share owners in a house, it makes it that much harder for you to leave, ... (read in full...)
My parents are controlling and I don't know whether to be myself or what they want
Q. Okay guys, so I'm having an issue with stress at the minute - well, I have been for a while, but it seems like it's worse these days. I'm at uni and the work is all fine, I couldn't be any happier with the work, it's my social life and other s...
A. 11 March 2014: There's nothing wrong with being whacky or creative, they are both fine qualities to have, but just remember you don't have to just be whacky or creative now - you can continue as you age - it's called being eccentric, LOL. And your desire to be a ... (read in full...)
Family standards and Norms: I feel uncomfortable with how my husband's female teenage cousins behave around him. Am I over-reacting?
Q. I know lots of families have different "norms" for clothing so I'm wondering if I'm over reacting. My husbands teenage cousins seem to have no shame even when he's around. They will walk around in just a bra or braless (with a shirt so their ...
A. 11 March 2014: They sound like typical teenage girls, LOL. Try telling them to put on something decent and they'll come out with a t-shirt ripped up both sides and see-through tights! These girls aren't dressing like this to gain your husband's attention, they're ... (read in full...)
We went out on one date but he hasn't seemed interestd in another
Q. Hi everyone So I am just feeling strange about this one guy with whom I have had a few dates and wanted to get some objective opinions. Right, so I met this guy and then we proceeded to chat online for a long time (months, in fact), really g...
A. 11 March 2014: Blonde30s is right on the money. Call him. His suggesting you get together was his attempt at asking you out. You should have jumped in and suggested a time and place. If he's as wonderful as you say, then don't be shy - ask him! ... (read in full...)
I am always nervous when meeting new people.
Q. I'm curious to know if anyone has tips on how to feel more comfortable around the opposite gender. In my case, guys. I want to experience the dating world but I'm pretty sure I come off as weird because I become obviously stiff with my attempt ...
A. 11 March 2014: Baby Doll has some good tips there, I'll be sure to try them myself! Another thing that is good is to talk slower. Sometimes when you're nervous you tend to blurt something out, just for the sake of saying something and in my case in tends to come ... (read in full...)
He's leaving for three weeks and I'm terrified I'm going to lose him
Q. Ok, so me and my boyfriend have been together for about 7 months now. We have known each other for a long time and fell in love with each other. Im writing this because he is going to trucking school for 3 weeks and i am going to be stuck here alm...
A. 11 March 2014: If he is going to trucking school then he is training to be a truck driver I take it? If that's his career path then this won't be the first or last time you're apart for long periods of time. And any truck drivers wife will tell you it won't be ... (read in full...)
After all this bitter history, it's hard to trust her good will. Why would my co-worker pick now to be civil?
Q. Do you trust the good will of people you have a tainted history with? My experience is work related. I work in construction/development and I’m quitting a job I’ve had for about 3 years now, during which, I had to deal with a person at work who...
A. 11 March 2014: She sent you a corporate, polite fair well. I really can't see anything in those words that denote friendliness. Reply with a thank you and don't give it another thought. You both had jobs to do and at times you butted heads. Now you're moving on ... (read in full...)
Boy friend says I have nothing to worry about. Is this something I should be worried about?
Q. Last weekend my boyfriend met a girl when he went to hang out as his cousin's house. Basically she's a good friend of his cousin and his other friends. My boyfriend didn't even know she was going to be there because it's usually just an all guy ...
A. 11 March 2014: Umm, yeah, it seems pretty obvious she likes him, well to me anyway, unless she is like this with every other male? In all fairness, your boyfriend shouldn't really have accepted her friend request, but it probably seemed like an ok thing to do at ... (read in full...)
How do I overcome my desire to have a baby?
Q. Hi Okay so I am nearly 21 years old. I really want a baby- I know yes this is not the right time or nevermind timing I have no boyfriend either! I only work 20 hours a week so not enough income either and I live with my parents. I just d...
A. 11 March 2014: You can't stop the biological clock once it starts ticking, LOL, and for some of us it starts at the most inopportune times! You've already determined that you're not in a position to have a baby at this time, but, oh, you really, really want one! ... (read in full...)
I'm in love with someone I can't be with.
Q. Dear Everyone, Some of you may say I'm a sad loser, but I'm really needing some advice. It's been almost 2 years since I split up with my girlfriend. I've never been so in love with anyone in my entire life! I've tried to move on. Dated oth...
A. 11 March 2014: Awww, your touching post brought tears to my eyes. Your ex is very lucky to have your love. I have a male friend who spent the last twenty-something years holding a candle for a woman in the hope she'd leave her husband and be wit him. He is a ... (read in full...)
Ready to date but I don't know where to start!
Q. I'm a recent grad who has been single for three years. I'm ready to meet someone! However there's no one I'm interested in at my workplace which is a small company. Is online dating worth a shot? What are some options for young professionals? ...
A. 10 March 2014: Tell all your friends and relatives you're looking for love. The people closest to you know you better than anyone and will be a good judge of who might suit. Be open to blind dates and don't expect too much, just enjoy the date for what it is; a ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend constantly having mental breakdowns. Anyone experience this?
Q. So we have been together for over four years, but have only been living together for a year and a half. I didn't learn about these panic attacks/breakdowns until after we moved in together. He has been diagnosed with ADD and has severe anxiety. ...
A. 10 March 2014: Seek some help for yourself on how to deal with this and to keep yourself mentally and emotionally strong. Perhaps there is a support group or a counsellor you could go to, call the local mental health unit, they should be able to direct you. Don't ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend wants me to delete pictures of my ex's on Facebook... Is she overreacting or am I being unreasonable?
Q. Hi, I'm sorry to say that this problem is due to Facebook, you probably get lots of these! My girlfriend wants me to delete photos of me and my ex-girlfriends from Facebook. She doesn't seem to like the idea of them being on my page and she say...
A. 10 March 2014: You no doubt had an amicable split from these ex's and have memories and good times you want to remember. But you're with a new girlfriend now and you love her and wouldn't want her to be hurt or embarrassed. Keeping these photos on your page might ... (read in full...)
How do I get rid of my desires?
Q. Dear Cupid, I am a 48 year old woman in a 4 year relationship with a man who does not like to have sex or affection. I love him and for this to work I need help as soon as possible. I desire him all the time. I could see him from across the room ...
A. 10 March 2014: Men's testosterone levels drop after the age of 40 and so does their sex drive. First of all have him go get his hormone levels checked. Second of all you can start by putting him on a diet of high zinc vegies and oysters and see if his improves his ... (read in full...)
How can I feel ok with my past now, especially when my boyfriend's past reminds me of how little I've lived?
Q. I'm a very insecure woman and it's affecting me a lot now that I'm in a relationship. Ok, so first things first, I'm 25 and as a child I had friends and was sociable and didn't care about my appearance. When I grew up, as a teenager, I was ...
A. 10 March 2014: Don't let your past dictate your future. Many people were bullied in school, but they don't hold on to it, they take it and use it as a tool to grow stronger and you can do this too. Don't think you're alone on the body issues. I doubt there would ... (read in full...)
I know he doesn't love me like I love him!
Q. So I am 24 and have two babies and another on the way and my situation is that the father doesn't think we should be together because he feels that we just can not make it work. He lives with another woman and her children but they claim they are ...
A. 10 March 2014: First of all, hugs to you. Being pregnant you are no doubt full of hormones that are making you more teary and emotional than you would normally be. From what you've written it seems that this man is not being faithful to either you or this other ... (read in full...)
Any advice on how to handle this girl and my boyfriend's mother?
Q. My question isn't about a romantic relationship, I just really need advice. I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years. His younger brother has been with his girlfriend for 8 months. I never really became friends with his girlfriend because I found her ...
A. 10 March 2014: There's a real possibility that this girl may end up your sister-in-law, so to avoid any complications in the future, it might be an idea to keep things polite, but at arms length. Don't make her your buddy. You've already worked out that she's ... (read in full...)
He's 22 years younger and wants to date me!
Q. I have just come out of a horrible one year relationship with a guy I really loved but am gradually feeling better. I met a lovely guy who said he was 38 to get my attentional. He is 26. He is good looking fit intelligent mature and a lot of fun...
A. 10 March 2014: There almost seems to be a double standard, doesn't there, when it comes to older women dating younger men? With older men it's still not exactly applauded, but it does seem to be more accepted. I guess if you're going into it with your eyes wide ... (read in full...)
He's one of the nicest guys ever, but the 'spark' isn't happening
Q. Hi everyone, I really need some help. I've been dating this guy for about 3 months. We were friends and I was happy with it as that, but we did hang out a lot so he asked if I would try dating. I wasn't really sure but he is a sweet guy so I agreed. ...
A. 10 March 2014: I read this interesting article about how some women were able to determine which man they were attracted to just by smelling their cast-off shirt. I think it so amazing that subconsciously we know which man is attractive to us, but consciously we ... (read in full...)
None of his friends and family like me! Should I just end the relationship?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and 2 months. Somce we've been together ive only met his mom once and his best friend once and neither one like me. His best friend and his girlfriend absolutely hate me and ive never met or talked t...
A. 9 March 2014: How unfair of them to not give you a chance to defend yourself! It must be confusing for you not knowing the source of their hate. If his mom hasn't liked any girl he's dated then all you can do is make yourself not only the first girl she's liked, ... (read in full...)
Is it really a platonic friendship when the other person wants more?
Q. Hi maybe somebody can help me I have been with my boyfriend for just over a year. He's a very great guy and good looking. The thing that has been bothering me is he has a few female friends who are really into him. I hate to sound selfish, ...
A. 9 March 2014: You're right. His behaviour is cause for worry. He's your boyfriend and fine, maybe he is entitled to have female friends, but if he gives these girls reason to think there could be hope with him then I think your reasoning is understandable. ... (read in full...)
Should I tell his wife her husband is sleeping with my wife??
Q. My wife cheated on me a few times then suddenly moved out leaving me with my 2 daughters who are still in school. The anger was eating at me so bad that I went to a counselor to keep myself under control, I wanted to make my wife's life as miserabl...
A. 5 March 2014: You're hurt and angry at the moment and you have every right to be. The woman you loved and trusted treated you despicably and broke up a loving family. To be honest, deep down I doubt you would want anyone to go through the pain you're feeling. But ... (read in full...)
My best friend invites himself to everything, but I feel guilty if I tell him no!
Q. I have many close friends, all which know each other and we all hang out at the same time a lot. This is really great at times, but it's starting to pose some frustration for me. My best friend, whom I will call Peter, and I are very close. T...
A. 5 March 2014: It can be annoying when friends cling and it makes it awkward when you have to ask if they can be included, annoying on other friends too, who might feel their presence an intrusion. Does he have male friends of his own he sometimes hangs out with? ... (read in full...)
Nude pantyhose or sheer black? Help!
Q. I am a female in her early 30's. my boyfriend and I are going on an overnight cruise out of NYC this weekend. I bought a "dressy casual" dress. Green top and lace bottom with a white pattern under the lace. I have black closed heeled shoes. My legs ...
A. 5 March 2014: I'd go nude pantyhose considering your skirt is lace/white.... (read in full...)
We told each other we like one another, but he doesn't want a relationship right now?
Q. We have gone from talking to eachother almost everyday for nearly 4 months, to now nothing...Its been a heart breaking process, to like someone so much who doesn't want to be with you. He's 34 and im 25, and he had not long come out of a relatio...
A. 5 March 2014: So many people jump from one relationship right into another when they're not ready, so at least he had the decency not to do that with you and he's gone to the trouble to let you down gently. But, now it's up to you to respect his wishes and let ... (read in full...)
How do I deal with a guy I dated? I've moved on, he hasn't.
Q. Hi everyone, I need advice on my situation. I met a guy back in December who was really lovely and had a great personality. I wasn't really attracted to him like that but he asked me out on a date and as I wasn't seeing anybody at the time I kind ...
A. 5 March 2014: Maybe you feel guilty for not being attracted to this guy, or perhaps in a little way you like his attention or even feel sorry for him. But at what expense? At putting up with his rubbish, making yourself miserable and perhaps putting your current ... (read in full...)
How do I deal with a passive aggressive sister?
Q. I have a younger sister whom I am generally very close with. However, she has a habit of having these mood changes which really upset me. What happens is that I will ask her not to do something, like eat food I am saving for a party, and she w...
A. 5 March 2014: She treats you like this because she's your sister and she knows she can! I think one of the shames of growing up is we lose the capacity to deal with things as innocently as we did as kids. If she had done this ten years ago you may have retaliated ... (read in full...)
Is there any hope for me in dating?
Q. Hey everyone, I have found myself struggling in getting in a relationship. My last was already 4 years ago (it lasted 3) and had no luck ever since. After a period of 2 years during which I focused on my career, I got back into the game and sta...
A. 4 March 2014: Try not to take too much notice of other people's expectations, like those women at work, because most of those things are not achievable for any of us. You are who you are and you have certain beliefs and morals and the right woman will appreciate ... (read in full...)
I am so low on my fiance's priority list we havent met for a month!
Q. Dead Cupid, I'm in a long term relationship. Engaged last year, will be married next year. I don't know if it's a phase? But I'm starting to get sick and tired of my fiancé's attitude. He always pioritise his friends and will always second me...
A. 4 March 2014: When you love someone you want to spend every minute you can with them. You'll go to any lengths to be with them. I'm wondering if perhaps your long term relationship has caused you both to take each other for granted. You haven't mentioned his age, ... (read in full...)
I'm the 30 year old virgin and don't want to be the 40 year old!
Q. Dear Cupid, I'm 31 and still single and I don't want to be the 40 years old virgin. It's not like I haven't been trying. I took other people's advices, read books, I even tried using those cologne that makes a person likes you. But none of t...
A. 4 March 2014: First of all, I want to take that word TYPE and throw it right out the window. All of us have a picture in our heads of the ideal person, eg, tall dark handsome fireman with abs like steel. Does it mean that we should just hold out for a fireman? ... (read in full...)
Should I risk letting him know I'm interested at the risk of losing him as a friend?
Q. The man I'm interested in this time I think that he doesn't really show a real interest in me. He behaves to me very friendly but without any comment for relationship. I am flattered from his friendly interest but I get anxious that there is nothing ...
A. 4 March 2014: You like this guy, but you're unsure if he likes you romantically? You haven't said if you hang out together or work together. It's a hard decision, because you don't want to lose him as a friend if you tell him you want to be something else. What ... (read in full...)
It bugs me that my BF 'likes' a friend's photos on Facebook! Am I crazy?
Q. Hey, This may seem childish but it has really been bothering me. Or maybe this is a common type of thing that bothers people in relationships, I need your help and advice. My boyfriend will "like" an old friend of mines photos on facebook. Mos...
A. 4 March 2014: We all 'LIKE' our friends photos or posts on FB for different reasons. Sometimes it's because the photos are good or funny, or sometimes it's just to show our support for a friend. I had a friend who posted a really ugly photo of herself on FB. I ... (read in full...)
What can I do to ensure that I can find someone who doesn't blow me out after 5 months or so?
Q. Dear Cupid, Im a 30 year old women living in London. I'm single and have had around 6 serious boyfriends. Over the past couple of years, my elderly father has become very ill with a heart condition and dementia. It has been complicated as this...
A. 4 March 2014: First of all, don't be fearful of not finding love. As Cerberus suggested, it might be time to take a break from dating for a little while. You have so much going on in your life in this delicate time, the stress of helping care for your father ... (read in full...)
Trying to communicate makes it worse!
Q. I don't know how to deal with this anymore. I need some help, please. I've been with my gf about a year and a half. We have always been that lovey dovey, sickening couple that was always stuck in the honeymoon phase. But lately it's feeling lik...
A. 4 March 2014: Pardon the pun, but it sounds like the honeymoon is over, LOL. It doesn't mean that what comes next has to be boring, but you will both settle into a more comfortable phase. It's really lovely of you to be so thoughtful, but you shouldn't have to ... (read in full...)
Do her actions indicate that she still in love with her ex?
Q. I have a very simple question if a women keeps pictures of her and her ex husband even though there divorced and he's with a new women and they have a baby together and but she has these pictures posted on her facebook page of their wedding day and ...
A. 4 March 2014: For me I'd assume they had an amicable parting. I know so many people, myself included, that have kept photos of old boyfriends. It doesn't mean that we're still in love with them. These mementos can evoke any number of things; that we were once ... (read in full...)
I am livid at his actions and beset with Insecurity and Jealousy!! Need some advice please!!
Q. Okay - I don't really even know where to start. My boyfriend and I are both in our early-mid 30s and have been together almost 3 1/2 years. Overall things have been well but we've had some rough spots here and there. Anyway, for most of ou...
A. 4 March 2014: Ok, so the woman looks like your husband's type, but is your husband her type? I think the most reasonable thing for you to do, before you get completely eaten up by jealousy is get to know this couple. You might find that you really like this woman ... (read in full...)
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