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We told each other we like one another, but he doesn't want a relationship right now?

Tagged as: Breaking up<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (4 March 2014) 3 Answers - (Newest, 5 March 2014)
A age 30-35, * writes:

We have gone from talking to eachother almost everyday for nearly 4 months, to now nothing...Its been a heart breaking process, to like someone so much who doesn't want to be with you.

He's 34 and im 25, and he had not long come out of a relationship, where his ex treated him awfully, and after a few months I got attached and eventually, after feeling mislead, and confused I told him my feelings.

He told me he likes me very much, but he is just not ready for a relationship. he said hes also afraid of interfering with my career (acting career). As hes a bit of a jealous type, so I don't think he likes it very much.. But said hes afraid of getting hurt again and wants to be single for the moment. Even though I gave him my last words, of explaining that I liked him since day one, good people are hard to find and a career can be achieved at any time, overall I just wanted to spend time with him. I didn't want an instant relationship. He hasn't answered me.

I dont ever expect a reply, but...Should I just move on from him completely? Do I hide from him on facebook? (Thats our main source of contact)

View related questions: facebook, his ex, jealous, move on

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2014):

I wouldn't hide from him unless it gets too difficult for you after that clear rejection.II mean he's basically said he's not interested in you at all.

if you need time to get over him and that means removing him from your life for a while, then let him know. He'll be fine with that and understand your reasons. It would be the nice thing to do and it would give you proper closure too.

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A female reader, Ciar Canada + , writes (5 March 2014):

Ciar agony auntAs far as any romantic possibly is concerned, yes, move on from him completely. Don't hide from him on Facebook (or anywhere else). Think of one of your acquaintances you don't have feelings for, then treat him like that.

When you meet someone else, continue doing the same thing. Don't hide the fact that you're seeing someone and don't even consider how he might feel about it. He has no claim on you and any discomfort he may feel is his to sort out on his own.

Be upbeat and friendly, but a bit more formal.

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A female reader, Sensible Alice Australia +, writes (5 March 2014):

Sensible Alice agony auntSo many people jump from one relationship right into another when they're not ready, so at least he had the decency not to do that with you and he's gone to the trouble to let you down gently. But, now it's up to you to respect his wishes and let him have his space. Don't chase him or pester him and if you fear that you might unintentionally do this on FB, then just send him a brief message saying that due to your feelings for him you can't have him as a friend for a while until you get over him and then unfriend him. If he's as lovely as you believe, he'll appreciate your honesty. Then definitely move on with your life and be open to finding love elsewhere.

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